The H5 Team Extreme Saga
by Instant Classic Superstar Pac
Summary: In each chapter, romance is either absent, remote or undisputed. All story titles of this saga are complete. Main storyline: the Brand Extension's over. The 3 Xtreme unites. Shane, Marissa, and later, Shannon, join. Problems come and go. Please R&R.
1. Hours Before SmackDown

**Shane Extreme**   
**Chapter 1: Hours Before SmackDown**

Did this before, I'll do it again. This time, all chapters are put together in the same fit. Only the story titles will differ for each section, but the chapters will be all numbered orderly. Plus, as a disclaimer's notice to be considered from here for the entire story, I own no WWE Superstars, but only the ideas that come from this story. If any of this truly happens, it is completely coincidential. Plus, not even Shane's wife Marissa Mazzola-McMahon is my property. She's real and I found out about her at www.gerweck.net. 

To preset the story, the brand extension was ended with Eric Bischoff's RAW program being the loser and the GM himself being forced to be WWE chairman Vince McMahon's assistant, and he was started off quickly for the last three months, just like loser's treatment. If he complained about anything the boss ordered the man who lost twice to the McMahons to do, he was repeatedly ordered AND given a pay cut every time. 

Thursday, Match 6th, 2003   
Philips Arena in Atlanta, GA 

9:07 AM: Matt Hardy woke up to find his brother Jeff already awake and out of bed. Jeff was warming up for his next match on SmackDown against Jamie Noble. He knew immediately, because Jeff is always serious about his matches. The thing is, the two Hardy Brothers have had the mentality of "live for the moment". Jeff knows he has to be ready to overcome any distractional attempt from Jamie's girlfriend Nidia at any moment's notice. That's why he's already gone into a warmup match. In order to actually focus on the opposition before him. 

Matt walks across several halls inside the Philips Arena. Tonight's SmackDown would be held in this place, and then, we would go over to the Georgia Dome in the same city two nights later for the one-hour minority show of Velocity on Saturday nigh. Before he can get to the warmup room where Jeff is doing a training match with Fit Finlay, he almost bumped into Shane McMahon, who was on his way to get some water after his warmup victory over Dean Malenko. After walking a step back in shrieked surprise, the two of them stared at one another for about 10 seconds, and then... 

"Hey, Shane, you need to look out where you're going," Matt said. 

"I'm not the only one," Shane spat back. "Anyhow, what are you doing walking around? Promenading?" 

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for my brother Jeff, and I know he's in the warmup room," Matt said. "That's where he always is on a day before the night's show, especially when he's going to have a match." 

"You guessed correctly," Shane said. "I just beat Dean Malenko in my practice match, and I decided to stay awhile to watch the first few minutes of Jeff and Fit Finlay." 

"My brother's fighting Fit Finlay?" Matt asked. 

"Yeah, but this is just warmups, remember that," Shane said. "Anyhow, now I'm going to get a water bottle from the refreshments room for $.80." 

"I have plenty of water bottles inside our room," Matt said. 

"Lead me to it," Shane accepted. 

He followed Matt to the Hardy Brothers' locker room, where Matt got out of the refrigerator a Zephyrhills water bottle. 

"If you want, you can have a Dasani," Matt said. "We're getting our namebrands on soon." 

"No thanks, that's good enough," Shane said as he took the bottle and drank some water from it. It wasn't drunk from yet before then, but Shane decided to give it back to Matt in case the Hardys would need it. 

"Sorry, Shane, but this one's all yours," Matt said. "If I drink from it, I'll be drinking from water that's just been contaminated from your cells, increasing the likelihood of me coming down with an illness." 

"Oh, well," Shane said as he took it back into his own locker room. He came back into the locker room a moment later, but Matt wasn't in there. He automatically knew where the older Hardy Brother was: watching his younger same-gendered sibling fight Fit Finlay in a warmup match. However, Matt wasn't the only one watching Jeff and Finlay. Also was Shawn Michaels and a trainee of his, The American Dragon. Dragon was a high flyer, an exploder, like those guys who came out of North Carolina, Rey Mysterio, and plenty of others. Jeff and Finlay didn't let out to one another until finally, Jeff came away with the Twist of Fate, leading to a Swanton Bomb and victory. Jeff had gotten his warmup for the day. He came down and saw The American Dragon and Shawn Michaels. 

"Hi," Dragon introduced himself. "I'm The American Dragon. Nice to meet you." 

"Hey," Jeff returned it. "Name's Jeff Hardy. WWE Superstar." The two shook hands, and Jeff asked Michaels what Dragon was doing here. 

"I train this guy, and now I want him to see you guys and the rest of the WWE Superstars," Michaels told him. "We might not hit them all today, but I'm introducing him to the world of the WWE." 

"Good luck on him," Jeff said. He was about to go right back into the Hardy locker room until he saw Matt at the entranceway. 

"What are you doing here?" Jeff asked his brother. "I thought you were asleep." 

"I just woke up and decided to see how you were doing," Matt said. "Shane told me it was against Finlay, and I saw it to be the truth. You did a pretty impressive job." 

"It was just a warmup," Jeff said. "We don't use full strength in this place because warmups aren't supposed to be tireouts." The Hardy Brothers laughed at that statement. When they got back to the locker room, they saw Shane and a strange young woman with black hair wearing a cyan unsleeved shirt and black pants talking with Matt's girlfriend Lita. 

"Hey, Shane," Matt asked in somewhat of a questioning mood. "Who's that other girl you have here, and what are you doing wth Lita?" 

"Relax, pal," Shane said. "I just got my wife Marissa so she and Lita could talk and get acquainted, that's basically all." 

"She's your wife?" Jeff asked about the stranger. 

"Yeah," Shane said, answering the young Hardy's question. 

11:53 AM: Shane and Marissa departed for a few physical fitness excercizes. 

What about Lita? She knew Marissa wasn't a superstar, and that it seemed too strange for her to be doing something such as physical fitness activities. Lita interrupted Marissa in order to talk to her about this attitude. 

"What are you doing this stuff for?" Lita asked. 

"I'm planning on becoming a female wrestler in this company," Marissa said. 

"Do you know what you're about to do?" Lita asked. "I mean, you're most likely not ready for this kind of work." 

"Don't worry. I've been hoping for a long time." 

"Well, hoping isn't going to do you any good," Lita said. 

"I know you're very well concerned about me, as well you should be," Marissa complimented, "because I've never been in a match before. But I can at least PARTIALLY assure you that I am just about ready to attempt to jump all the hurdles to be thrown at me." 

Marissa has a scheduled debut against Nidia tonight on the 3/6/03 SmackDown! Will she begin progressively or be beat be the trailer park girlfriend of Jamie Noble? That and more on our main five on _Chapter 2: In the Face of Concern_. 


	2. In the Face of Concern

**Shane Extreme**   
**Chapter 2: In the Face of Concern**

5:52 PM: Stephanie McMahon came over to Shane in a questioning manner. 

"Shane, are you mad?" Stephanie asked. 

"What?" Shane needed to know what she was talking about. 

"You know what I'm talking about!" Steph yelled. 

"You mean deciding to come back?" asked Shane. 

"No, I mean letting Marissa go into a match tonight!" Steph kept on. 

"Well, it's not my fault!" Shane returned. "I told her she couldn't, and I even had to get Dad and Bischoff over here! The thing is, despite all three of us around here, she INSISTED on fighting Nidia tonight!" 

"Well, you should have had security throw her out," Steph said coldly. 

"But she's my wife!" Shane yelled. "GIVE IT A BREAK!" 

"I don't care if she was your employer or immediate supervisor!" yelled the Billion Dollar Princess, who was hired a job as Vince's get-over-here person. What that meant was that if Vince wanted anyone in his office, he'd have Steph get him/her. However, when she went over to confront Shane about Marissa wrestling tonight, it wasn't an assignment from her father, I can tell you that. This was personal. Shane and Steph stared at one another in somewhat of an arguing mood. Finally, the sister backed down and left back to the office, leaving the brother in tranquility. 

That was in Shane's locker room. 

In the Hardy Brothers' room... 

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Matt yelled. "Marissa's going to be in a match!?" 

"Yes," Lita said, grimly with her head down. 

"Oh, no," Jeff panicked, slapping his hand onto his face. 

"I know how hard it is for you guys, and it's hard for me to accept it myself," Lita said. 

"But how could she do this?" Matt asked. "It just doesn't make sense!" 

"I didn't want to let her do it, and I certainly didn't make her," Shane said, showing up out of nowhere. 

"What?" the Hardys and Lita asked. 

"She said she wanted to do a match, and then she started sweet-talking me," Shane said. "I decided to let her go on and do a little physical fitness just in case something would boil down causing her to be able to wrestle. But I had no guaranteed intentions on letting her in that ring in front of the thousands of people that are coming out to see SmackDown tonight. However, at 4:00, she said she wanted to actually go into the match in four hours. Like I said, I had no intentions of letting her into the match. She insisted on it, though, and so I had to call Dad and Eric Bischoff over here. Even with them trying to stop her, Marissa was bent on this match! She had to book her in tonight! Why, if she loses this match, I ought to kick her butt. But I won't do it." 

"Calm down, Shane," Matt said. 

"You needed to do the same a moment ago," Lita said a bit sarcastically. 

In the meantime, the Holly Cousins came into the locker room while Marissa was practicing running on a "future sidewalk" machine in order to test her speed. 

"Hey, you're the Hollys, right?" 

"Yeah, that's right, Marissa," Crash confirmed. "But we're, uh, a little concerned about you." 

"Let me guess...my match?" Marissa asked. 

"Yeah, that," Hardcore clarified. "What do you want in this match anyway?" 

"I'm entering the company as a superstar," Marissa said. 

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDIN' ME!" Crash jumped. "I'm telling Shane." 

"He knows," Marissa said. 

"Really?" Hardcore asked with sarcasm in his voice. 

"Yes," Marissa seriously stated. 

6:21 PM - Marissa was stretching for a little while, until The Rock entered. 

"Hello, Marissa Mazzola-McMahon," Rock said. "You're being addressed by The Rock, the People's Champion, the Brahma Bull!" 

"I know who you are, okay?" Marissa said, a little angered by the introduction. "In the meantime, I know what you're here for. You're going to ask me why the heck I'm doing this match, right?" 

"How did you know?" Rock asked. 

"The Holly Cousins came here about that, and even my friends and husband were unsure if I was supposed to do this," Marissa said. "But I'm positively sure I should at least give it a shot." 

"Who's going to get it through your head?" Rock asked. "You can't face anyone in a match! Not even if it was a wittle baby." 

"Sorry, but I'm going to go through with it," Marissa said, sending Rock leaving. 

"What the hell are you thinking?" The Undertaker burst in. 

"Excuse me, Taker, but like I keep saying, I'M GOING TO GO INTO THE MATCH TONIGHT, AND THAT'S FINAL!" 

8:52 PM, during SmackDown: Nidia came out in her entrance accompanied by her boyfriend Jamie Noble, sporting very short jeans and a white fur top like Ivory's, along with black boots and a knee pad. Jamie wore his regular cut jeans, boots and flannel vest. Tajiri came out of the crowd to join Nidia and Noble. The three of them got into the ring, and then Noble and Tajiri left. Shane's "Money Talks" entrance hit, and Marissa came out in her regular outfit to only a half cheer because the audience was also skeptical about her decision to wrestle tonight. However, when she got into the ring, Vince showed up with Bischoff from the Titantron. 

"Guys, we know Jamie Noble and Jeff Hardy are scheduled for tonight," said Vince. "But since Jamie's already out here with Tajiri as well, Jeff's brother Matt hasn't been scheduled as of yet and in order to at least try to make it safer on Marissa, we will have a 6-man mixed tag team match. Now, we will take a few minutes of break for the Hardy Brothers to come out for action!" 

That minute was un-necessary, as Jeff's entrance popped up, and the "little" Hardy revealed himself in a red old Hardy shirt and black Hardy pants in order to compete against Nidia, Noble and Tajiri, and the response was a large standing ovation for the young kid out of North Carolina, especially from the girls out there! Suddenly. Matt's entrance hits, and he shows up with that weird vest of his on AND green-like Hardy pants. My sleeping outfit has a buttonable one similar. The fans cheer for him, but a little bit more quietly than they cheered for Jeff. Before he comes into the ring, he removed the vest, revealing a white tanktop behind it. 

When the bell rang, Jeff started the match off against Tajiri. The Japanese Buzzsaw then started a vicious attack. He almost got in the Tarantula, but it was too early. Tajiri then tagged in Noble, who held Jeff's neck onto the ropes right after he came in, and Nidia slapped him in the face. 

"Come on, Jeff!" his older brother yelled in an attempt to get him going. Marissa was aching to get into the match. Noble started using a veteran strategy and working on the back of Jeff Hardy so he couldn't fly without getting hurt easily. Before that could compete, however, he managed to tag in Matt when he was irishwhipped to the corner with Matt and Marissa. Matt came in and started assaulting Noble, who was planning to take Jeff's high-flying permitter - the lower back - out of the equation. Suddenly, Nidia and Tajiri came in the ring. The match blew out of control. After a while, referee Mike Ciodia forgot who the heck was the legal man! Jeff's back had recovered, and Marissa was showing why she wanted to get into the match by beginning to dominate that show-off Nidia. Suddenly, she lifted her up for a powerbomb and ended up getting the 1-2-3 while the Hardys and Nidia's boys were fighting outside the ring! Marissa and the Hardys had won the match! 

9:16 PM: Out of respect and competition, Billy Kidman and Shane McMahon were in action. Of course, in the Alliance storyline, Kidman had worked for Shane. Kidman came out sporting OLD Crash tights in Detroit Lions colors and Shane came out with a Lions colored Shane-O-Mac shirt and some good old black pants and athletic shoes. At first, the advantage and adrenaline had changed all over. Suddenly, Kidman comes away with an Insegury counter and then sets up for the Shooting Star Press. However, that fails miserably. Why? Simple. Shane rolls away and gets up, delivering a McMahon's Strike. At least that's what I think that old punching combination he did to finish one off was called. Anyhow, he covers Kidman 1-2-3 and wins the match. 

Lita never had a match, as even though she had already recovered, she planned to save the wrestling until WrestleMania 19 at the Key Arena in Seattle, Washington, in which she would face Jacqueline in a match issued by Lita and accepted out of respect and competition. 

Marissa's debut proved impressive. However, Shane and Matt will team up together for the first time in a somewhat bad match on Monday Night's episode of RAW. Next, it's _Chapter 3: Do not Testify_. 


	3. Do not Testify

**Shane Extreme**   
**Chapter 3: Do not Testify**

Monday, Match 10th, 2003   
Resch Center in Green Bay, WI 

12:57 PM: Shane McMahon woke up inside the Extreme men's room, but all three of them (he and the Hardys) had different beds to sleep in. Shane was told by his father Vince yesterday that he had a match that night against Kurt Angle. 

_But what happened to the challenge that Reverend D-Von and Ron Simmons accepted on Friday night scheduled for tonight?_ thought Shane. _I know Dad was there when it was issued and accepted. He probably forgot before he could book it._ No longer was Shane a member of the old Corporation. Instead, he was now Matt Hardy's best friend, and a partner of the Hardy Brothers. That happened after a few days or so. Marissa and Lita had their two separate beds in Shane's old room, which was now the Extreme women's room. In the meantime, when Shane woke up, he found that the Hardy beds were empty and that the time was 12:57 PM. 

_Oh, well,_ he thought. _It figures that they already woke up._

Lita and Marissa were doing speed practice when Nidia came in. 

"What do you want?" Marissa asked. 

"You were better than I thought," Nidia complimented. "I won't make that mistake again." 

"Oh, really?" Marissa asked with a sarcastic tone. 

"Why don't you face her in the ring...tonight?" Lita dared her. 

"All right," Nidia accepted. "But I can add a stipulation. We know Victoria's defending the Women's title at Mania against Dawn Marie, you, Lita, have a match against Jacqueline at Mania, and you, Marissa, are about to be pulled into a match against me TONIGHT. So how about this: the winners of all three matches go on to the next night's RAW and face off for the Women's title in a triple threat match?" 

"You'll be sorry you ever said that," Marissa said. "You're on." 

1:18 PM: In the men's room, Kurt Angle came in and told them that Vince had meant to call Jeff Hardy into the office instead of Shane to know about a match against him tonight. 

"So that was all a mistake, right?" Shane asked. 

"Yeah, it was," Angle said. "You two (Shane and Matt) have Reverend D-Von and Ron Simmons to worry about." 

The World Tag Team Champions were Chris Jericho and Christian and the WWE Tag Team Champions were Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. The World title versions of the Heavyweight Championship and the Tag Team Championships were still there along with their WWE counterparts. 

"Just make sure you get away from those chants, okay?" Jeff recommended. 

"What?" Angle asked. 

"You know," Jeff said. "The 'you suck' chants." 

"You'll be sorry for that one, Hardy. Oh, it's true. It's true," the 1996 Olympic gold medalist said, shaking his head in a yes-like sarcastic manner as he left. 

"What an arrogant gold medalist," Matt said. 

"I wouldn't take him out of the equation if I were you," Shane warned him. 

"I know," Jeff said. 

Marissa and Lita came in and told about the confrontation with Nidia. 

"You're too much into this thing, Marissa," Shane said. 

"What?" his wife asked, not wanting to hear that. 

5:29 PM: Reverend D-Von and Ron Simmons were preparing a sermon for the fans to hear tonight on RAW. The thing is, Bischoff was planning to interrupt it, and Vince decided to give him a no pay suspension if he tried to, because somehow, the chairman found out about the loser's evil plot. Now, D-Von and Simmons were free to preach before their match. 

"Hey, D-Von!" Simmons called from the dressing area of their locker room. 

"What?" D-Von called back. 

"You have it ready yet?" Simmons asked. 

"Oh, yeah!" D-Von exclaimed. 

"Hey, you two!" Bubba Ray Dudley and Bradshaw yelled from the outside. 

"What?" D-Von asked. He looked outside and saw Bubba Ray and Bradshaw. 

"Hey, Ron, look!" he then yelled. "Our old tag partners come to pay a visit!" 

"Tell Bradshaw I'll be there in two minutes!" Simmons yelled across the room. 

"Bubba Ray Dudley," D-Von said. "My old brother. You and Bradshaw are back here to pester us, I bet. Well, Ron Simmons is unavailable right now. Bradshaw, if you want to see him, tell your brain to wait two minutes." 

"You sure you're a reverend with talk like that?" Bradshaw asked. 

"I am Reverend D-Von, working for God as a warrior in World Wrestling Entertainment!" D-Von yelled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, it's you who's the disrespectful one!" 

"Okay, I'm out," Simmons said as he showed up in a familiar APA outfit. The armbands and the long star tights. 

"Hey, Ron, I see you're doing fine on your new team," Bradshaw said. 

"Well, it only figures, because the power of God has been manifested in him," D-Von said. 

"But I'll be glad to ask you this: why in the blue hell would you associate yourself with this sorry son of a gun?" Bradshaw asked. 

After that question, an all-out brawl lasted between the two. It ended up going into the warmup room while we had D'Lo Brown and Johnny Ace in there, and D-Von gave Bubba Ray a 3D through a table for the second time (the first being back at WWE Judgment Day 2002 with Batista in the aftermath of a Women's title match between Trish Stratus and Stacy Keibler) except this time, his partner was Ron Simmons! 

9:58 PM, during RAW: The match was on. In an Oakland Raiders-colored Shane-O-Mac shirt and the usual black pants, Shane McMahon showed up as he was entering the ring without Marissa in the Money Talks entrance. Suddenly, after he went into the ring and started heating off on the money, the connection to wwemattitude.com started up, and the Mattitude entrance and computer-like screen view came into play. Matt Hardy himself showed up in the same outfit as this past SmackDown except for the fact that his shirt was black this time. None of the other three come out as company. Suddenly, the Testify entrance popped up and out came Reverend D-Von and Ron Simmons. D-Von was wearing the Testify shirt which has text on the back which says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Simmons was wearing the same outfit he was wearing earlier in the afternoon when the two of them had driven Bubba Ray Dudley through that table at the warmup room. Simmons had already given Bradshaw that same old spinebuster that I call the Faarooq onto the hard floor backstage in that incident. 

D-Von grabbed a mic and began speaking. 

"You, Matt Hardy, speak of Mattitude. You speak of being the best. You speak of having beaten The Undertaker two out of three times. Next thing you know, you shake hands with the man a few months later and apologize for thinking you ever had a chance! You, my friend, are a hypocrite. And hypocrism is a major sin!" 

Before he could finish, Matt grabbed the mic and said a few frustrating words to D-Von. 

"Excuse me, D-Dud, but that happened last year!" All four of them began fighting for three minutes until Shane and Simmons were the only ones in the ring, causing D-Von and Matt to stay at their respective apron corners. At first, the two were reeling because they had gone at it so viciously the past one-hundred eighty seconds. But then, the crowd was chanting "Shane-O-Mac!" and the young McMahon became heated up enough to begin to beat down Simmons and get the cover on him, but D-Von broke that up. Matt tried to get into the ring, but the referee restrained him, leaving D-Von and Simmons to be able to use the veteran double-team attack on Matt's new best friend. However, Jeff Hardy's entrance music hit and the titantron pointed to him just outside a door, and he threatened D-Von and Simmons, saying that he would tear up all of their sermons if they won this match. 

Simmons regained the ref's attention and gave Shane a blatant low blow in order to get disqualified to save everything they had to preach. Apparently, Shane was in a lot of pain. D-Von and Simmons tried to run off, but that's when Jeff realized the horror of his trick: his older brother's best friend receive a low blow. He interrupted the running road of D-Von and Simmons and called Matt over to help him out. Then, a stereo Twist of Fate came up onto that steel RAW concrete. Jeff was wearing a white shirt to change last time's outfit. The two Hardy Brothers then helped their friend walk back to the locker room. 

10:15 PM: Marissa simply found out that once taken seriously, she had no chance. Nidia showed an overdose of ruthless aggression because she felt as though she was humiliated back on SmackDown. Of course, it worked. She was quickly able to fire her boyfiend Jamie Noble's Tiger Bomb on Marissa, who then realized she was better off as a valet. Nidia won, of course. 

10:49 PM: Jeff Hardy came out in the same outfit as his entrance hit and had a huge box of cheers, just like Matt and Shane did earlier. Kurt Angle came out with a black wrestling outfit with the Angle A in the middle, the usual boots and kneepad and "You suck!" chants all over the arena, even though he was among the WWE Tag Team Champions. Jeff fired a few punches, and once Angle got onto the turnbuckle, out came a missile dropkick. Angle was knocked out of the ring reeling, and then suddenly, Jeff assaulted him on the outside, then brought him back into the ring. Doing a slingshot somersault with Angle down, Jeff connected. He tried to go for the cover, but it didn't work. Angle was able to shove Jeff off when he was about to pick him up by the head. The Olympic Champion fired a belly to belly suplex. Suddenly, he came way with four German suplexes in a row. The match really got heated now that Jeff got back up and took Angle outside of the ring. Jeff got out himself, walked on the black guardrail and did a move similar to the FameAsser and a leg drop knocking Angle down. Suddenly, the Whatever entrance popped up, but no Rabid Wolverine. Angle took advantage and was about to fire the Angle Slam when suddenly, came the Mattitude Connection entrance, but no Matt Hardy! Jeff fired a Twist of Fate and a Swanton Bomb before giving Angle the cover for a 1-2-3 victory. Chris Benoit came and jumped Jeff Hardy. Matt then stepped forward in order to even the scores, but he ended up tapping out to the Crossface before even landing a clothesline. Jeff Hardy may have gotten the match, but it was Angle and Benoit who stood tall. 

I'd like to have you know that I may well continue with _Chapter 4: Take the Contendership_. 


	4. Take the Contendership

**Shane Extreme**   
**Chapter 4: Take the Contendership**

Thursday, March 13th, 2002   
Bradley Center, Milwaukee, WI 

12:25 PM: The four members and valet of Team Extreme had all woken up at this time. Shannon Moore had taken them out for a bite to eat at a nearby Burger King restaurant as a friend, but he wasn't going to join them after what he heard last night. According to what he found out, the new friendship of Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon was going to be taking on The Project of the Game for the #1 contender spot for the WWE Tag Team Championships in the hands of Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, who have established a very good friendship of their own. Well, not exactly a friendship. A tag team cooperation, rather. Shannon also heard that he was going to team with Billy Kidman against the Dudley Boys (Bubba Ray and Spike) for the #1 contender spots for the World Tag Team Championships, worn around the waists of those cocky, arrogant blond Canadiens, Chris Jericho and Christian. 

"Now, if it were The Undertaker and Boss Man, I wouldn't have given you as little as a gift," Shannon said. 

"Don't worry about it, man," Matt said. "I'm sure we can beat them." 

"I don't really know about that," Jeff said. 

"Look who's skeptical," Matt said. 

"Guys, don't get into a fight here," Shannon said. 

"You might want to tell us why you're teaming with Kidman," Shane said. 

"We're too fast," Shannon explained. 

"I've beaten him before," Shane said. 

"Not too long ago," Matt said. 

"That was very competitive," Shane said. 

Suddenly, The Project of the Game came in. The three members: Ric Flair, Essa Rios and Triple H. Flair served as the mentor for the tag team of Rios and HHH, and on necessary occasions, teamed up with one or both of them in tag action or went into one-on-one matches against problem-causers. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Matt jumped up out of his seat. 

"Now, now, calm down, buddy!" Shane dragged Matt back into his seat. 

"What'd you do that for?" Matt demanded an answer. 

"You know if we get into altercations with them now, we may just well be in the worse shape before the match!" Shane yelled. "Don't you understand? It's safest to save it for the match!" 

"Hey, HHH," Jeff said. "You really think Kane killed Katie Vick on purpose?" 

"HOW MANY TIMES DO PEOPLE HAVE TO ASK ABOUT THAT!?" HHH yelled. Flair and HHH were wearing the same old business suits they've been wearing for the past half year for promos/backstage stuff/etc. "OF COURSE I BELIEVE KANE KILLED KATIE VICK IN HIS PROPER MIND, AND IT WAS HIM WHO DID THAT CENSORABLE STUNT WITH KATIE VICK WHEN SHE WAS DEAD!" 

"Hey, idiot!" Matt yelled. "Don't you think we could see through that mask? The brown hair, the Gamely voice, the dark skin, the mustache. You know what, HHH? It all adds up! That was never Kane! IT WAS YOU! And you lied, calling _him_ a psychopathic sex overdone! You should be ashamed of yourself!" 

"It's true!" someone yelled coming in. "It's true!" That person was Kurt Angle, with his championship partner Chris Benoit. 

"You really have no integrity," the Gold Medalist continued. "I mean, to...well, do what you did to a dead woman is absolutely reprehensible!" 

"You're not kidding," Benoit said. "Let me tell you something, Triple H. If I ever hear that you did something like that again, I will cripple your double-crossing face." 

An all-out brawl took place, with Matt joining Angle and Benoit against The Project of the Game. After returning as The Game's special new partner at the Royal Rumble on January 19th, Essa Rios became otherwise known as The Projectile. Back to the present, who was in bad shape? Everyone who a)participated and b)didn't go by the names of either Kurt Angle or Triple H. 

1:03 PM: Jeff and Shane had finished taking Matt to his bed inside the room much sooner than expected, thanks to Shannon, who was still there to provide them with the car. Though unnoticed, Shannon had predicted something like that was to happen and stuck around to make sure they got back to the arena safely. The room, like everything else, was transported yesterday from Green Bay to Milwaukee for tonight's big show, WWE SmackDown. 

"Think he's gonna be okay?" Jeff asked. 

"Yeah," Shane answered. 

"In the meantime, let's get him some water to make the waking process a bit faster," Jeff said. 

Jeff took out one of the water bottles branded "Mattitude.com" (NOT by spray paint) and gave it to Shane, who tried to wake Matt and gave him the water bottle. The older Hardy woke up only to drink up the bottle and went back to sleep after 5 seconds. The process was repeated, except he was awake for about 3 minutes. Then again with yet another "Mattitude.com" bottle. He stayed up for 10 minutes and this time was able to stand and walk, but too weary to run, still. Now, Lita, who found out about this and watched to see if her boyfriend would wake up, became very irritated, and so she had Marissa get her a bucket full of water. Lita then took it and poured it all over Matt's head. He had to hold his breath for tgree minutes, but he was fully awake. When the breathholding was over... 

"Hey, who did that and why!?" the bucketful of water that was Matt Hardy yelled. 

"I did, Matt, and I'm sorry, but I was tired at the fact that it took so long for you to wake up," Lita said. 

"Lita!?" Matt shrieked in surprise. "You!?" 

"Yes, Matt, but it was the only way," Lita pleaded for forgiveness. "You have to let this go, Matt. Please." 

"Begging already?" Matt asked. "I can't believe this." 

"Come on, Matt! I'm sorry!" 

"I already forgave you," Matt said. "I just couldn't believe you just started begging at this point into it." 

"Matt, I'm sorry," Lita apologized. 

"Okay, when do we get into the act?" Shane asked. 

"Oh, yeah," said Lita. "Shane, did Matt tell you about his plan to win the match?" 

"Plan?" Shane was confused. 

"So he didn't," Lita said. 

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT!?" Matt yelled. Jeff looked a bit angry himself. 

"I thought maybe I should enlighten Shane a little bit on it," Lita said. "You are teaming with him, aren't you?" 

"Yeah, but I never said you could," Matt said. 

"Calm down, guys!" Marissa yelled. "This whole team could separate with the animosity." 

"All right, let's quit this," said Jeff. 

Suddenly, Vince McMahon comes in. 

"What?" Shane asked. 

"Son, I want you to come with me," Vince said. "This is urgent. You guys better come along, too." 

When they got to Vince McMahon's office... 

"Shannon told me you ended up in a fight against your opponents from tonight," Vince said. 

"It was only me, Mr. McMahon, and it was inside of a nearby Checkers restaurant," Matt said, honestly, yet looking as though he were angry at himself for doing that. 

Meanwhile, Jeff was gone. Lita noticed with a smirk. Back where he was, Ric Flair was getting ambushed by Jeff, who realized that this guy could well be the reason Rios and HHH win. That's why he and Matt came up with this setup. Rios and HHH found out, attended to their beatdown mentor and were absolutely angry! 

"If you injure either of the contenders before the match, YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED!" Vince yelled back in the office. Jeff fed Flair to Kane and old North Carolinian buddy The Hurricane, who locked him in the trunk of a white limousine. He couldn't get out. 

"Why don't you try poking out of this lock, huh!?" the Big Red Machine yelled. "Drive fifty miles away!" 

The limousine driver did exactly that. 

"Now why did you have to make him go that far?" Hurricane asked him. 

"That's how much they make me SICK!" Kane yelled. 

"Thanks for your help," Jeff said as he left. 

When he showed up back inside the men's room... 

"Hey, Jeff," Lita greeted him. 

"What the heck did you do?" Shane asked in frustration. 

"Kane, Hurricane and I trapped Flair when he showed up alone and he's out of the way," Jeff explained. 

"What!?" Marissa exclaimed. "What happened?" 

"He's locked into a limo trunk and being driven into jurisdiction from a fifty-mile radius," Jeff said. 

"You're that bent on winning!?" Shane yelled, surprised. 

"This guy could well cheat and have them win," Jeff said. 

"I see," Marissa understood it. "You're clearing Mr. Extrahelp out of the way, right?" 

"That's basically the whole purpose of that," Lita said. 

4:51 PM: Ric Flair is fifty hopeless miles away from his friends and enemies, who are at the Bradley Center. Rios and HHH are in a fuming mood over this and are desparately looking for Jeff Hardy, who they want to cripple. Speaking of that word, they soon bump into Chris Benoit. 

"I talked to Vince about what you did to Katie last night," Benoit said. 

"What did he say?" HHH asked. 

"Do it again and you will have all your titles stripped and given to a new champion," Benoit said. 

"WHAT!?" HHH yelled. "How dare Vince say that to ME!!! When I was with Steph, he let us do anything together!" 

"Your lines in this story are too personal for its rating," Vince said from somewhere. "If you don't pay any attention to WHAT YOU SAY OR DO, you may end up being fired and removed from this story! World Heavyweight Champion and World Cruiserweight Champion, huh? Trying to add tag titles to your record?" 

"What's the problem with that?" asked HHH. 

"One more distorted comment like that and you will lose those titles to Kane and The Hurricane!" Vince yelled. "AND THAT'S AN ORDER! And if you're tag champs, they take those titles too!" 

"You...you...DOUBLE-CROSSER!" HHH yelled. "Usually you were okay with that!!!" 

"YOU NEVER DID IT TO THE DEAD!!!" Vince yelled. "And besides, your comments may force the author to make the rating even more strenuous than HIM!!! Now, keep arguing with me and **YOU'RE FIRED**!!!" 

"Those are some bold words for a washed up has-been!" HHH yelled. "And besides, Jeff Hardy, Kane and The Hurricane drove Ric Flair into a fifty-mile radius from this arena!!" 

"I'd ban Jeff from the arena if you didn't make the evil comments before giving me this news!" Vince yelled. "He's only banned from RINGSIDE because of your idiocy, and if Flair shows up, he's going to face ME in action!!" 

"Excuse me, Mr. McMahon, you ought to leave Flair to me," The Big Boss Man said behind him. 

"That's even better!" Vince jumped to shines. 

"WHAT!?" HHH shrieked. "The guy got locked in a limo trunk and driven 50 miles away from this arena, and you have the nerve to put him up against The Big Boss Man!?" 

"Yes," Vince was calm yet firm in his voice and face. 

"It goes to show you, Triple H," Boss Man said. "Don't cross the boss. And DEFINITELY don't cross The Big Boss Man!" 

"Will you two get away from him!?" Rios yelled, finally getting back into the act. 

"You see this, you two?" Boss Man asked, pointing his nightstick at Rios and HHH. "It's talking to me. It's beckoning. It's begging me! It's saying, 'Please let me hit Triple H in the face!' Now, if you won't leave the boss alone, I'll be forced to listen to this thing! And as for you, Essa Rios, stay out of this or I'll give it to you for good measure as well." 

"Ess, go," HHH told him. "Stay out of this." 

"I can't," Rios said. "We're a team, pal. If we hope to get out of this, we have to work together." 

"You'll have to leave him alone!" Boss Man said. At the "alone!" tone, he hit Rios in the head with the nightstick. He was busted open. Vince. HHH tried to get him with the Pedigree, but just as he set him up, Vince busted him open with the nightstick to the head. "YOU LOSE! Thanks to your idiocy, you've become busted open! You're in too bad shape to go on, and you lose because if I were never offended, I would have never had to do this to you!" 

After hearing what happened, Matt and Shane realized exactly what it meant by the quote "Don't cross the boss", especially when the boss if Shane's father, the great Vincent Kennedy McMahon, Jr! Angle and Benoit also found out, and they decided to pay their Wrestlemania challengers a little visit. 

"Hey, guys," Kurt said. "Good luck at Mania. Hope we've got a great match ahead of us." 

"We sure do, Kurt," Shane returned the sentiment. "We sure do. Hey, remember when we used to team in the old Alliance?" 

"Yeah, those days," Benoit said. "It was not cool watching from the sidelines, but it sure was cool seeing my partner here drive your neck of the woods out of business." They all laughed except for Marissa. 

"Shane, you lost," Marissa complained. "How could you be laughing about that?" 

"Well, for one, it was pretty tiring having to run a whole company with my own sister," Shane said. "I was a bit glad when it was over. I could take a break from wrestling and do off-camera work at home, but it only made me miss the wrestling business more. And I thouht you Hardys might be cool, you and your girlfriend, but...it's not cool." 

"What?" Matt asked. He obviously thought something was up. 

"It's more than cool, buddy!" Shane exclaimed, surprising everyone in the room in a way which I always used to do. "I've been having the time of my life here!" 

"That's natural when you're friends with the coolest guy in America," Matt said, loaded with Mattitude. 

"There goes that Mattitude again," Jeff groaned. 

"You guys have only just begun your adventures together as friends," Benoit said. 

"Let's go, partner," Angle said. 

"No," Benoit rejected. 

"What?" Angle asked. 

"I'm not leaving," Benoit said. 

"You're leaving because I said so," Angle said. 

"YOU TWO BETTER NOT GO AT IT!" Shane yelled. 

"You're right," Benoit said. "I'll go." 

"No, go on and stay," Angle said. "I'll leave myself." Which he did. 

7:59 PM, beginning SmackDown: The SmackDown fireworks began, and then, so did the connection to Mattitude.com. The Mattitude entranec was heard, with Matt receiving huge cheers! Boy, was it good to be Matt Hardy! Wearing that same vest and pants, he had a V1 (Version 1) shirt under the vest. Shane came out with a red Shane-O-Mac shirt with silver pants to the "Money Talks" entrance. Suddenly, "Time to Play the Game" was heard throughout the crowd, and out came Essa Rios and Triple H. Rios came with the same old red boots black on the bottom and red long tights with the yellow line-like spots. HHH came with those old short tights he wore back in 2001 before suffering that injury which had him locked up for eight hellacious months. Rios and HHH had stopped bleeding, and then insisted on having the match, which was an opportunity then given to them by Vince. 

There were fans chanting "Shane-O-Mac!" and others chanting "Mattitude!" 

Rios and Matt started the match. Rios was much too fast for Matt, who began to gain back a little advantage after a few minutes. Matt fired away a Side Effect to finish a counter which began with a fast array of punches. He went for the cover, 1, 2, kickout by Rios. Matt continued dominating the World Lightweight Champion until he gave him a back toss, landing Rios painfully on the ground. Matt then went for the cover. 1, 2, the count would have been broken up by HHH, but Matt saw it, laughed at HHH, who ended up hitting his partner and tagged in Shane. Shane fired away with clotheslines at both Rios and HHH, but after firing a front powerslam and getting the cover, 1, 2, HHH suddenly breaks it up. Rios and HHH are double-teaming Shane, stomping awaay on him, while Matt desparately tries to get in the ring, but he only keeps the ref busy, unfortunately. Matt notices and comes up with a new trick. He tells the ref (Earl Hebner) to look inside the ring and leave him alone, and HHH is seen aiding Rios attack Shane. After they irishwhip Shane, he fires away a double clothesline to the enemies. The ref then rolled HHH out of the ring, while Rios got back up, only to suffer the dropkick from Shane McMahon, who can do it almost as well as the Holly Cousins. Shane tried to get the cover, 1, 2, but HHH pulls Shane out and fires away on him. Matt gets around and can get back into the act, but only to suffer Rios's baseball slide. Jeff, Lita and Marissa are watching in a very scared manner from the Extreme men's room. 

"You girls better watch in your own room," said Jeff. "You're not staying in ours for the night." 

"I understand," said Marissa, as she and Lita went. 

Back into the ring, Shane fires the McMahon's Strike to HHH outside the ring, while inside, Matt fires the Twist of Fate to Rios and gets the cover, 1, 2, 3! The Mattitude entrance was seen again as the two new best buddies are going to WrestleMania 19 to face off against the WWE Tag Team Champions, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit with the titles on the line! Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon are going to WrestleMania! 

11:03 PM, after SmackDown: Ric Flair finally showed up and ordered Rios and HHH to get Jeff Hardy. However, Shane and the others were on their guard, and those three stood no chance. Speaking of Shannon's match, he and Kidman lost, but were shown tremendous respect until that arrogant idiot John Cena came in and attacked the four of them, along with the newly-reformed T&A, excluding The Big Valbowski and Trish Stratus. 

What will next week's RAW bring in store? Stay tuned for RAW in Minneapolis, MN in _Chapter 5: Defeat your Ex-Mentor_. 


	5. Defeat Your ExMentor

**Shane Extreme**   
**Chapter 5: Defeat Your Ex-Mentor**

To keep the main content on the books here, I should fill you in on two extra titles from those left after No Mercy 2002. There was the creation of the World Cruiserweight Championship in pale blue-painted gold, and how about the red-painted golden World Women's Championship? Now, let's get on with the champs, shall we? 

WWE Superstar Champion: The Big Show   
World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H   
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit   
World Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and Christian   
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Crash Holly   
World Cruiserweight Champion: Essa Rios   
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria   
World Women's Championship is vacant, as no match was assigned for it 

Monday, March 17th, 2003   
Target Center in Minneapolis, MN 

10:43 AM: Matt and Shane just woke up on a bright morning inside the Extreme men's room, only to find their lovers in front of them, in the CORRECT order form before they could get out of their two beds. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Shane asked. 

"Jeff told us to tell you guys that he found out a few minutes ago that he was having a match against Ric Flair tonight," Lita said. 

"Oh," Matt said. "Where is he now?" 

"Warming up with this protege of Shawn Michaels called The American Dragon," Marissa said. "He looks just like an American version of Rios when he was then The Ultimo Dragon." 

"You watched WCW then?" Shane asked, surprised. _Now, I know she's wrong on that statement, but I think I'm just going to go along with the plan._

"No," Marissa said. "I just did a little research and I found one of Ultimo's pages and decided to check it out." 

"When was that?" Shane asked. 

"When you guys were in tag team action," Marissa said. 

"How did Dad ever let you have this stuff!?" Shane yelled. 

"Well, Shane, he only let me use the super computer in his office," Marissa said. 

"Why do I get the feeling Lita and I are excluded from this conversation?" Matt asked, sending everyone else into laughter. They just decided not to intervene, that idiot doesn't even know himself! That was just kidding, too. 

"We should let you guys up," Lita said. 

"Perfect point," Shane said. "I almost forgot about getting up out of this thing." 

He and Matt did just that. 

John Cena and the T&A attacked Jeff when he was in warmups, and for bully measure, they also took care of Dragon. Arn Anderson had to come around and give them the message. The kid with ruthless aggression tried to stop Anderson, when The Big Boss Man knocked him out with the nightstick to the head from behind. Then, came T&A. Boss Man felt no need for sympathy towards Albert, his former tag team partner (though not for the title, that one was Ken Shamrock) of the days. Back then, they both lost to The Big Show once in a handicap match for the WWF Heavyweight Championship. Boss Man, who was now the WWE's head of security anointed by Vince McMahon, felt a need to do something about those bullies. He knocked them stiff out with the nightstick to the head. An entitled rule for the head of security is to never bloody any problem-causing person unless they were a WWE Superstar directly bothering Vince McMahon himself, so Boss Man, already used to working for Vince as head of security back in the old Corporation, didn't use full strength on thost shots to the skull. Speaking of Vince, we go into his office, where his daughter Stephanie is having a conversation with him. 

"Dad, I want a new job in this company," Steph said. 

"What do you mean by that?" Vince asked. 

"I'm tired of simply being the messenger girl to get people into the office," Steph said. "I want a job that's not too hard, yet has me be considered important, because I'm the one who defeated Eric Bischoff in the brand extension, you know." 

"Well, Steph, I've prepared for that," Vince said. 

"Really?" Steph asked, not as enthusiastic as she would have been two years ago. 

"How about you become my third string personnel?" Vince asked. 

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?" Steph asked. "Am I going to be Bischoff's assistant?" 

"I can tell you're very concerned, but let me put that to rest," Vince said. "The position of third string personnel is just like the position of assistant, except the jobs will not be as hard, and probably fewer." 

"Thanks, Dad," Steph said, as she left into her own office. 

"Oh, Steph," Vince called to the ex-Billion Dollar Princess. 

"What?" Steph said, turning back. 

"Come over here, I have your first job," Vince said. After she came back into his office, he continued. "Ask Boss Man if anything happened." 

"Sure," Steph said. She began looking, and she found him attending to Jeff along with Anderson, Matt and the others five minutes later inside the medical attendance room. 

"What happened to him?" Steph asked, concerned. 

"John Cena and the T&A assaulted Jeff and The American Dragon during the warmup match," Arn told her. "I tried to go over and warn Matt and the others, but Cena got to me before I could." 

"That's where I came in, when I got the three of them with nightstick shots to the skull, but I made sure by using only 40% of my strength on the shot that they were only knocked out and not bleeding," the head of security finished. Steph quickly ran this news to Vince. 

"Oh, my god!" Vince yelled. "You mean that really happened!?" 

"Yes," Steph said. 

"Tell that bully Cena that I have a match booked for him tonight against The Big Boss Man!" Vince yelled. 

"Right," Steph said, firm in her voice. 

She found Cena standing inside the warmup room along with the T&A, feeling a but cocky and angry. 

"John Cena, as a result of your bullying actions toward Jeff Hardy, The American Dragon and Arn Anderson, you will be marked in competition against The Big Boss Man tonight!" Steph slightly yelled. 

"What's with her?" Cena asked Test. 

"Don't ask me," Test said. 

"I think she's trying to outboss Vince," Albert said. 

"For your information, I am now the third string personnel _for_ the boss," Steph informed them. 

The T&A laughed, angering her. 

"If you don't stop, I'm going to ask Dad to upgrade your match against Boss Man right now, Cena," she said again, but they kept on going. She growled (NOT like a lion) and left. 

Eric Bischoff was in Vince McMahon's office now with the same old outfit. 

"Eric, I want you to go get Stephanie," Vince said. "She's supposed to be here by now." 

"Mr. McMahon, do you honestly think I care about her in the least bit, even after she beat me in the extension...no, wait, let me counter that, especially after she beat me in the extension?" Bischoff started complaining again. "I'm only doing this because you'll give me a pay cut if I don't." 

"You have one now," Vince complained. 

"Ooohhh!" Bischoff yelled. "One more paycut and I quit!" 

"You're fired," Vince said. "But, I have another good job for you. You are going to be the WWE's entertaining dirty man!" 

"What's that?" Bischoff asked. 

"You are going to live in Greenwich," Steph explained. "But, you're going to live the kooky way. Sleep on steel instead of a matress, eat dog coop, drink toilet water, it'll be fun. Try it. It's your new job." 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Bischoff yelled. "TRYING TO KILL ME!?" 

"Actually, you only have to do that on RAW, SmackDown and Pay-Per-View days and nights," Vince said. "Otherwise, live right and get as healthy as you can." The chairman continued after the ex-main assistant growled. "Okay, only on Thursdays. But you won't get paid this week!" 

"What do you have as info?" asked Vince, turning to his now lone assistant. 

"They laughed after I told them about my new job," Steph said. "How about upgrading the match with Boss Man to a higher level than ever imagined: HELL IN THE CELL?" 

"Hell in the Cell, Cena and Boss Man, tonght!?" Vince yelled. "You have to be kidding!" 

"Boss Man has been used to this kind of match before, Dad," Steph said. "And besides, I have another idea. It's even better than what I just said The first ever Hell in the Cell tag team match! If Jeff wishes to, his match with Flair will be turned into a tag match combining his with Boss Man and Cena's. Picture this: Jeff Hardy and The Big Boss Man versus Ric Flair and John Cena in the first ever Hell in the Cell tag team matchup!" 

"Are you kidding? That would knock the foundation off of WWE!" Vince exclaimed. "Let's have it! I'm going over there, this time." 

Cena and the T&A were found inside the locker room of the kid with ruthless aggression. 

"John Cena, I've upgraded your match with The Big Boss Man," Vince told him. "How about this: you will team up with Ric Flair against Jeff Hardy and The Big Boss Man in the first ever Hell in the Cell tag team match! And as for you two, you want to make an impact so much!? Well, you will have a match against Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon, with their #1 Contender's spots ON THE LINE!" 

That much has happened in the early morning, so you know that there's no need for keeping on going until on the night of RAW. 

10:15 PM, during RAW: The T&A's old music and titantron pops up, and Test and Albert come out in their usual outfits, Test those shorts and Albert those black tights. They were accompanied by John Cena, who came out in a WWE Attitude shirt and old 1995 Houston Oiler colored versions of his same old tights. Then, suddenly, the Mattitude connection popped up, and both Matt and Shane came out this time. Matt with the same old Version 1 shirt, entrance vest and default colored pants that he bought from Cameron (I think) and Shane with a Miami Dolphin-colored Shane-O-Mac shirt and the silver pants. Not the kind from Cameron, mind you. They were accompanied by Jeff, who sported an Imagination picture shirt and that same old black version of Matt's pants. 

The match began with Matt and Albert in the ring. Matt was a bit petrified with hairy, big, bad and bully in the ring. He decided to try to make Albert chase him around on the outside until he was far enough to get ready to fire a dropkick. That worked well, but to basically not to much avail, because Albert was able to stay up, though he was knocked back a little bit. He started to run after Matt when he just got back up, and gave him a powerful clothesline. Remember, when one does a dropkick, he/she lands on his/her knees. Albert brought Matt into the ring, and got the cover, 1, 2, kickout. The bully felt confident he had this match won and already couldn't believe it. He now tagged in Test, who decided to devastate Matt with an array of powerful punches to the skull. Matt was a bit dazed, but not too much to stay up. He was Irishwhipped, and before Test could fire a boot to his face, he ducked, and then fired away with a flying forearm to Test, knocking the big man down. Then, Matt went ahead with a dropkick right to Test, who was then knocked down. Matt went for the cover, 1, 2, and the bully that Albert is, he didn't kick Matt in the back to break up the count. Instead, he pulled Matt off and threw him onto the turnbuckle, going on with a footchoke. Matt didn't really look so good in this match, did he? Albert got his hands up, waiting for Matt to get up. You know what the heck he was setting up for. But instead of getting up like the usual, Matt crawled to his corner, and the T&A just stood there, while Cena was telling them to GO GET THE MAN BEFORE HE COULD TAG IN SHANE! A rookie tell two veteran bullies about a rookie mistake! Albert couldn't get him, because he wasn't the legal man, so Test decided to do so, but he didn't realize that the middle fingers reached and made the tag! Referee Nick Patrick noticed that and let Shane in, and the young McMahon immediately showed the Testacle Man what for by firing the McMahon's Strike on Test. The bully Albert tried to get in to do some business, but Shane did him a back toss that leapt him outside the ring! Matt then fired in on a Twist of Fate, but couldn't take down the bully, who got knocked out anyway when Matt changed it into a Stunner! Matt's shoulder began hurting, and then, Shane went on top of his sister's former fiancee for the 1, 2, and then Cena pulled Shane off of the body of "Teflon" Test. 2Xtreme then decided to begin taking a little bit out on Cena before the match. You know Shane-O-Mac and Mattitude, right? Well, you should know 2Xtreme. Matt got back up into the ring, and so did Test, who was already in. Matt then fired a Twist of Fate on Test and covered him, 1, 2, 3! 

Next up, after Matt and Shane left, celebrating as they left with the same major cheers as they got when they showed up. After that, The Big Boss Man came into the ring with the same vest, nightstick, cool shades and pants. What about Ric Flair? He came out in black short tights (similar to Regal's, but only midnight blue) and kneepads and boots. Although Flair is the one who was a 16-time World Heavyweight Champion and Boss Man is the most experienced of them all who never was, he knew he had an advantage because in all the matches the Nature Boy was in, he had never gone into Hell in the Cell. The Big Boss Man advised Jeff Hardy to follow his lead, as Boss Man was indeed the man whom in order to settle a feud once and for all between the old Corporation and Ministry of Hell faced off against The Undertaker inside that evil structure called Hell in the Cell, the third time ever, all three so far involving the American Bad A** until later on in the existance of that bad old baby. Now, it was going to be the main event on RAW for the first time ever, and in tag team format for the first time as well. Vince suddenly came out, stood at the top of the ramp and said that for Hell in the Cell tag team matches, the rules were officially "no tag necessary." Of course, that only heated the match's brutality level dramatically. Jeff took on Flair and Boss Man took Cena. The head of security then took it out on the rookie bully, as Jeff was too fast for the oldened Flair. There was lots of domination from Jeff and Boss Man. Once, Jeff even did a Flipping Slam to Flair off the top rope toward the cell, which ended with the bottom of the Nature Boy's boots getting scratched off by it. Before then, Boss Man had fired a Boss Man Slam, then instead of pinning Cena for the 1, 2, 3, he decided to pick him up, choke him and throw him onto the evil structure cell. Flair and Cena were bloodied to the extent that they could no longer continue. The mnatch could not be won by default, however. Jeff and Boss Man discussed a little bit, then Boss Man threw Jeff onto Flair. Unfortunately, the frontmost part of Jeff hits the cell and Flair rolled out of the way. He was able to get up, the bloodied mess, and attack 2Xtreme. Cena then took Boss Man's nightstick from under the ring and hit him in the head with it as many times as Flair ever became the World Heavyweight Champion. Now, the match began to twitch and switch in the advantage. Flair and Cena then were able to get Jeff and Boss Man in a deep hole. Literally! Flair then hooked in the Figure 4 Leglock and Boss Man had to dive down to break it up, which hurt both superstars in the target, especially Jeff. They couldn't continue, so now it was Cena and Boss Man, who had a down disadvantage. Suddenly, before Cena can fire the Brainbuster DDT and win the match, Boss Man pushes him into the ropes and gives him a Boss Man Slam! Boss Man then gets in the cover with a hook of Cena's leg. 1, 2, he gets off, gets the nightstick amnd hits Cena in the head for good measure, and then he covers the kid with ruthless aggression once again. 1, 2, 3! 

"Here are the winners of the first ever Hell in the Cell tag team matchup, Jeff Hardy and The Big Boss Man!" was Howard Finkel's historical call of the century. Matt and Shane knew they had a remarkable daredevil in their midst. What will happen at the Salt Lake Center in Salt Lake City, UT on SmackDown in _Chapter 6: Reverend Rematch_? Stay tuned! 


	6. Reverend Rematch

**Shane Extreme**   
**Chapter 6: Reverend Rematch**

Thursday, March 20th, 2003   
Delta Center in Salt Lake City, UT 

10:05 AM: Matt Hardy woke up to find his brother lying in bed, as he's been doing for the past two days ever since Hell in the Cell tag team action, in which Jeff was teaming with The Big Boss Man against Ric Flair and John Cena. 

"When I think about you, Jeff, I think of the most daring brother anyone could have," Matt said quietly. 

_I'll go see if the ladies are up,_ thought Matt. He went into the Extreme women's room and found Lita crying with Marissa trying to console her. 

"Hey, Lita," Matt said. "What's the matter?" 

"It's Jeff," Lita cried. 

"I know," Matt said. "But I'm not crying about it." 

"She's very sensitive about this stuff," Marissa said. "And besides, I have a little update. Jeff has to take on Reverend D-Von tonight. I already told Lita." 

"I guess that's why the crying came," Matt figured it out. "Don't worry, girls. I'll take care of this." 

In Vince McMahon's office, Eric Bischoff was fuming around Vince and his daughter Stephanie. 

"You're not making me do that tonight!" Bischoff yelled. 

"You know what, Eric?" Vince said. "You're right. I'll give you another shot at assistant. But to be a little more lenient on you, every three complaints will get you a pay cut." 

"Fine, then," Bischoff said, a bit angry. Matt came in. 

"Mr. McMahon, I need to talk to you," the best friend of the chairman's son said. 

"What?" Vince asked. 

"What the hell has gotten into your damn head!?" Matt yelled. "Jeff's torn himself out at Hell in the Cell this past Monday Night on RAW and what do you do to thank him for the amazement that could have killed him!? YOU SEND HIM INTO ANOTHER MATCH TONIGHT!?" 

"Calm your a** down!" Vince yelled. 

"Why should I!?" Matt did a bad thing by retaliating at the command of his boss. But, the always surprising chairman didn't even take that. 

"Because if you do, I'll put you up in your brother's place," Matt heard from the boss who cannot be crossed. 

"Alright," he agreed. 

"You've got the match," Vince said. 

Matt went to the Extreme women's room. 

"Hey, girls," Matt started. "You don't have to worry about Jeff that much anymore. I've got his place in that match." 

"Thanks, Matt," Lita said. "It's no wonder you're my type of guy." 

"I better go do a few warmups," Matt said. 

"Right," Lita said. 

"Can we follow you?" Marissa asked. 

"Sure," Matt said. "Long as neither of you cheats on either side of the match." The threesome laughed. 

"Don't worry," Lita assured him. "We won't." 

"I remember 1/23/02, SmackDown this year," Matt said. 

A Mattitude flashback is imminent and here goes nothing. 

_8:01 PM: I came out in my Version 1 shirt and regular pants due to a Mattitude connection, and my opponent was none other than RAW's D'Lo Brown in his wrestling outfit. I was confused. I started thinking...what the heck is D'Lo here? Was he an acquisition from RAW or something? Next thing you know, Vince comes out in his business suit and recalls questions that are likely to come up out of my mind and many other people's. I had seen Eric Bischoff welcomed into the building about three hours ago. Steph looked as though she had a sweet surprise for him or something._

_"I have three questions with the same answer," said the boss. "Sort of. Why am I here? Why was the enemy of SmackDown, RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff welcomed so sweetly by my daughter three hours ago? Why is D'Lo Brown Matt Hardy's opponent? Well, let me explain to the people, and most importantly to Eric Bischoff himself...ONCE AGAIN, YOU'VE LOST TO A MCMAHON! RAW looked very, _very_ disappointing as a result of your incoming. And, therefore, I have officially decided to take over the WWE once again and strip the General Manager storyline of its existance, with Eric Bischoff being put in as my slaven assistant, doing the most strenuous jobs this industry has ever known an assistant to do! My daughter Stephanie's sweet welcome of the (dramatically like Chris Jericho) loser (back to normal) has some...oh, yeah, I already mentioned that as one of the three questions. Anyway, the last Pay Per View in which the WWE has been this way was WrestleMania 18 in the Toronto Skydome! The brand new WWE Starrcade is coming this February, and it will be a spectacle!"_

_What a birthday week it's been for Matt Hardy, Version 1 as I became 29 years old on the Tuesday of that exact week! I finally get to compete with everybody again! Well, except for one thing. The birthday stuff was incorrect data...they forgot it wasn't that Tuesday, and besides, that was when Eric proved to be a jock. So, basically, they planned that as my present and as Bischoff's punishment. After all, I told Steph I wanted to see Jeff again, so...knock your world out. What did I care that day?_

"Man, that was my favorite birthday week, even if it came late," Matt said. "I know I'm not speaking to any man, but..that's just a figure of speech. You okay, girls?" 

"Yeah," Marissa said. "We're alright." 

His warmup match with John Laurinaitis (Ace) was a bit tiring, but listen here. The American Dragon came over to Matt and gave him this message. 

"You know about Shane, your best friend, the boss's son, right? He's got a match tonight against a mystery comeback artist. Tell him that." 

"It better not be Big Poppa Pump," Matt said. 

"Don't worry," Dragon assured him. "The only clue the boss gave me was that Steiner's already back and it couldn't be him." 

"Thanks," Matt said. 

"What was that?" Lita asked. 

"Shane's got to face someone who's coming back into this company tonight," Matt said. 

"It could be Hulk Hogan or Bill Goldberg," Lita pointed out. 

"Or it could be Viscera or Gangrel," Marissa added to that list. 

"Or X-Pac, or The Road Dogg," Lita said, still putting more people into the book. "I'm scared stiff for your husband, Marissa." 

"He can take care of himself," Marissa assured her. "Don't worry about it." 

"Exactly," Matt said. "Shane isn't the indirect loser arounf here. And besides, how could it be Goldberg when this guy didn't even wrestle a match in World Wrestling Entertainment or the Federation? They are the same thing, though, but the man never even wrestled in it. He was all WCW, then he quit." 

5:29 PM: We go into the main office of the company, as Vince is at Burger King, buying two king-sized meals for his third string personnel and his main assistant. He asks Boss Man to check up on the ex-archrivals, and the next thing you know, Bischoff tries to kiss Stephanie! Like on Halloween 2002's Trick or SmackDown, she tried to battle out of it. But this time, she was more resistant, and she wasn't about to give in, and she didn't, amazingly, for 42 seconds until The Big Boss Man finally showed up and hit the stickout end of the nightstick onto Bischoff's head, loosening the kiss and having the ex-RAW General Manager look behind him and see the head of security. 

"I'm reporting your behavior to the boss," Boss Man said. "Trying to do it behind my back again, are you? You're lucky I was at Ohio Valley then, or I would have swashbuckled you and joined SmackDown. Now, don't you think 42 seconds is a bit dangerous if either one of you kissed someone else deeply before? Eric, you damn idiot! Next time you do something like that, you'll be thrown in jail for attempted diseasing of AIDS, you idiot!" 

Biachoff fainted. 42 seconds were dangerous indeed, especially when Steph put powder all over her tongue for these instances. 

8:35 PM, during SmackDown: The Mattitude connection sprang out, and then Matt came out in the same outfit he came out in this past Monday night on RAW with the exception of the vest, which he used to cover up his brother just in case those bullies from T&A come around. At the Testify entrance, out came Reverend D-Von, being accompanied by Ron Simmons, who was wearing the same outfit he wore when he accompanied D-Von to the ring against Billy Gunn in October 2002. D-Von was wearing the Testify shirt and the same old pants that looked similar to those of Boss Man, along with his 3D boots which had the 3D removed. D-Von at first was picking down on Matt, who should have known that teaming up with one another made D-Von and Simmons more aggressive than they've been since going to SmackDown in the brand extension. Quite frankly, D-Von had Matt numbered for 3 minutes, until suddenly, Matt fires a clipping kick to D-Von's left boot and then begins to take advantage of the Reverend's fall with 4 straight dropkicks and a cover from which D-Von kicked out at two. Simmons then tried to come into the ring, and the ref restrained him. D-Von fired a low blow and the Saving Grace, landing the 1, 2, 3 after that. 

9:01 PM: The Money Talks entrance was heard and Shane came out accompanied by Marissa, and then, his dad came out with the No Chance entrance and the suit. 

"Your returning mysterious opponent is...THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS MAN, KEN SHAMROCK!" 

Shamrock's entrance, Dangerous, came on, and the well-known former WWF Superstar stepped out from behind the draperies, and the fans were almost as loud as when The Rock came back or Shawn Michaels came back or defeated Triple H at Summerslam or Hulkamiana was reborn! The World's Most Dangerous Man, Ken Shamrock had returned to what is now World Wrestling Entertainment! When he finally got into the ring, he shook hands with Shane, who was understandingly booed during this match. Shane and Shamrock were very even in competition for this match. Punches, grappling moves, dropkicks, spinning kicks, they were all seen in that match. After a while, Ken had worn Shane down and was picking him down, until suddenly, he fired the Thai Roundhouse Kick with the right foot, and Shane was clocked out! Shamrock got the cover, 1, 2, 3! Shamrock then helped Shane over to the locker room. 

WrestleMania 19 is next in _Chapter 7: At Short Last_! Don't miss it! 


	7. At Short Last

**Shane Extreme**   
**Chapter 7: At Short Last**

Sunday, March 23rd, 2003   
Key Arena in Seattle, WA 

9:51 AM: Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon woke up on the world's greatest day of 2003 inside of the Team Extreme Men's room. 

"Whoo hoo!" Shane exclaimed. "Man, this is great! We're in Seattle for WrestleMania 19!" 

"And we get to have a shot at the Tag Team Championships!" Matt exclaimed. 

"Guys, I've got news," Jeff was able to get up today. "I'm competing in preliminary match action against Eddie Guerrero." 

"EDDIE GUERRERO!?" Matt asked in complete shock. 

"Why Eddie?" Shane asked. "Couldn't it be Chavo?" 

"Vince wanted it to be Chavo, but I insisted on fighting another high flyer, and so it became Eddie," Jeff informed further. 

"Are you mad!?" Matt yelled. "You only got back to 93% yesterday!" 

"Steph had to join my insist, however," Jeff said. "And I told Eddie, and he wished me good luck...losing to a Guerrero." 

"Disrespectful," Shane spat. 

"Hey, I have a match against Jacqueline tonight," Lita just burst in. Remember, she has a Triple Threat Spot match against Jacqueline. Tomorrow night, the winner will go on to face the Women's Champion and Nidia in a Triple Threat Match for the Title. Also concerning Lita's women's division is the fact that the first-ever World Women's Champion would be crowned in a match between Torrie Wilson and Trish Stratus. 

"A big one, too," Matt said. "You could well be the Women's Champion if you win two straight matches in your return." 

"Don't even begin to give me pressure," Lita warned him. 

"Sorry, Lita," Matt said. "I'm just counting on you to win this thing for us." 

"Matt, you and Shane can become champions as well, so it's not as if me losing would screw us up completely," Lita said nonchalantly. "And besides, we're all still here, even if we don't walk out with at least a title shot." 

"Yeah, bro," Jeff said. "Why are you worrying yourself sick?" About 143 seconds later... 

In the warmup room, "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner was warming up against John Laurinaitis for what could well be the best Fatal Four-Way ever, for the WWE Heavyweight Championship! Jeff just came in and noticed a match table on a chalkboard. He also noted that on it, there was a special format for each champion in a title match. On my computer, the special format will be displayed as italics. 

**Match Order - Contestants/Teams - Match Stipulations and Online Championships**   
Preliminary Match - Jeff Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero - None   
First Match - Lita vs. Jacqueline - Spot in RAW Triple Threat WWE Women's Title Match   
Second Match - Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon vs. _Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit_ - WWE Tag Team Championships   
Third Match - _Victoria_ vs. Dawn Marie - WWE Women's Championship and Title Defense in RAW Triple Threat Match   
Fourth Match - Dudley Boys (Bubba/Spike) vs. Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Jamal and Rosey vs. Billy & Chuck - World Tag Team Championships   
Fifth Match - _Triple H_ vs. Shawn Michaels - World Heavyweight Championship   
Sixth Match - Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus - (first ever) World Women's Championship   
Seventh Match - Brock Lesnar vs. _The Big Show_ vs. Dave Batista vs. Scott Steiner - Elimination Chamber, Loser Outage, WWE Heavyweight Title 

_So this is it,_ Jeff thought. _Well, I'll just have to make the best of my match and hope the others do their jobs._

Steiner had the warmup match in the bag, and then, Jeff wished "Big Poppa Pump" good luck in the match. But...ELIMINATION CHAMBER!? For one of the loser's ideas, it was sure dangerous, unforgiving, and able for Vince to take into place. 

"Your Fatal Four-Way is in an Elimination Chamber," Jeff informed. "Just to let you know." 

"You trying to scare me?" Steiner accused him. "Because if you are, you'll be beat down right now. I already know that." 

Jeff then ran over to the Extreme men's room where the other 4 were and told the rest of the team what happened. 

"You shouldn't go around talking to the elites," Marissa advised. 

"Sorry, guys," Jeff apologized. 

"Just one more thing: if any of us gets jumped by Steiner on any night of by anyone tonight, it'll be on your head," Shane warned. 

"Calm down, Shane," Matt said. "He said he was sorry." 

"All right," Shane calmed. This whole thing basically ended. 

"Just one more thing," Lita said. "We all win our matches, you may not be able to sleep before 4:30 A.M. You usually go to bed at 4 in the morning." 

Vince came to the door and knocked, along with Steph and Bischoff. Marissa opened it. 

"Shane, Matt, Jeff, so you guys know: tomorrow night on RAW, it's a big one. You guys are teaming with the Dudley Boys against 3 Minute Warning and the Eyes of Righteousness in a 10-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH!" 

"This is going to be huge," Matt agreed. 

"The Eyes of Righteousness?" Jeff asked. "Hey, isn't that the Anthology name of Reverend D-Von's Testify entrance?" 

"It could well be D-Von and Simmons!" Shane jumped. 

Suddenly, D-Von and Simmons came in. 

"Just so you know who the Eyes of Righteousness are, it's-" 

"You guys, I reckon," Lita immediately guessed. 

"Yeah, it's us who came up with the official tag team name," Simmons said. 

"That's all we had to say," D-Von said before turning to leave. 

"No, no, you forgot something?" Ron was obviously remiding D-Von of something. 

"Oh, yeah!" D-Von's memory snapped back. "We need to talk to you about the Dudleyville Seventh Day Adventist Church that I started up back in the old Dud-town." 

"We know, a church of God," Lita said. "We don't attend." 

"You joining?" D-Von asked. 

"No," Shane said, a bit loud. 

"See?" Simmons commented. "This is why I asked for tomorrow's match." 

"You may regret that," Marissa said. 

"Now, Marissa, don't say anything hasty," Shane said. 

"We can beat you two whether it's 10-man or regular," Matt boasted about. 

"Why don't you demonstrate Mattitude to The Undertaker again?" D-Von taunted. 

"Are you sure you register as a Rev?" Jeff asked. 

"Of course I am!" D-Von yelled. "Uh, I mean of course I do! I don't know what I mean!" 

"All right, let's calm," Shane said. "Leave, now." 

D-Von and Simmons did just that, but not without talking trash to one another about the H5 Team Extreme behind their backs. 

6:54 PM: Matt Hardy and Lita had a talk in the Extreme women's room by themselves. 

"Why'd you ask me to come here?" Matt asked calmly. 

"Listen, Matt," Lita said. "I'm really being a little bit skeptical about all of this. Look. In a few minutes, I have to do a preview episode of HEAT for the very last time, and then I have to get in the ring against Jacqueline. I...I just don't know if I'm cut out for this. I mean, it's been a good commentary, and now I find I'm going to be replaced. I don't know, I-I'm just going a bit nervous." 

"Don't worry," Matt tried a sure heart of word. "It's not like this'll kill you. Just stay calm. Everyithng'll be okay." He then kisses her on the cheek. 

"Thanks, Matt," Lita said. 

"Ever doubted my ability to help you out here?" Matt asked. 

"No," Lita answered him with a smile. "Why do you think you're the one I called in here?" 

"I'm there," Matt said. "For you." 

"Sorry to break up your moment, but you're needed at the table," Jonathan Coachman just came in to get Lita onto the set. 

"Well, it's time," she said. 

"Hold on," Matt held her up a while. "I've got an idea: how about the rest of us also come along for this review?" 

"What!?" Coach asked, a bit startled. 

"I'm planning for us to come along on this as well," Matt told the two HEAT commentators. 

"That would be great!" Coach burst up. "Imagine this: Lita's last time doing HEAT commentary with the Coach will be one to welcome the rest of the Team Extreme! Hold on, since you have more members, what's the insignia again?" 

"Haven't thought of it, but I have a good idea," Matt started up. "How about...H5." 

"Cool," Coach expressed his opinion. 

"Who thought the extra for the last stuff up?" Lita asked. "I know it couldn't have come from you." 

"Jeff," Matt answered her question. 

"I think I'll hand over the credit during the show," Coach said. 

"I heard that," Shane said. "And we have our own minds to make up. It's not like we have to listen to Matt or his brother just because he's my best friend. You know that, don't you, Lita? But, we made up our minds: we'll do it because it'll be your last time on." 

"Thanks a lot, guys," Lita had tears of joy coming from her eyes. After about 23 seconds, she calmed off. 

"Well, it's time to go," Marissa said. 

"All right," Coach jumped. "Let's get this show on the road!" 

Whatever show was on MTV was in its credits state now, and if they didn't rush it to their press box, they were going to be late. The Hardys and Lita came up there easily, but Shane had to help Marissa and Coach across the security guardrail. 

When the HEAT display stopped and the cameras came outside of the Key Arena in Seattle, we could hear Coach's voice from a miscrophone up there. They all were speaking on one for the whole time unless otherwise mentioned. 

"Hello, everyone, and welcome to WWE Sunday Night Heat! I'm the Coach, alongside Lita, and we're here to get you ready for WrestleMania 19, THE WrestleMania that will make this HEAT be her probable last!" 

"That's right!" Lita said. "I've got a match against Jacqueline tonight at Mania! And my boyfriend's brother, Jeff Hardy, has Eddie Guerrero in he ring in preliminary action tonight! Speaking of Jeff, I almost for got. The boys are in the suite as well as a going away present from HEAT commentary!" 

"Welcome to Mattitude!" Matt went first. 

"Shane-O's in town!" Shane followed. 

"Oh, yeah, expect amazement from me in about...50 minutes, is that right?" Jeff 'asked'. 

"You don't know the time of a preliminary match?" asked Coach. They all laughed, including Marissa, giving away the fact that she was also there. 

"Oh, yeah, my friend, Shane's wife, Marissa is also in," Lita informed the people...and reminded herself in the process. 

"Hey, I'm not exactly available right now, so don't scream for a date," Marissa warned all the guys out there. Not that she actually needed to, but you can never be too careful. 

The seating order from left to right was Coach, Lita, Matt, Shane, Marissa and Jeff. 

"That's right! Mattitude and Shane-O-Mac are on tonight against the WWE Tag Team Champions, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit!" Coach yelled. "Which leads us to our first order of business. The defending WWE Tag Team Champions, Angle and Benoit have been putting up amazing numbers as of late in the tag team division. Once, they even cornered you guys!" 

"That's right," Jeff said. "Although my one-on-one against Kurt Angle was a win, they stood tall over me, Matt being taken out while trying to get in the act." 

"Now, we know there can only be two titles for each division, its WWE title and its World title! And tonight, it's the WWE tag titles on the line when Matt and Shane take on Angle and Benoit tonight in the sec...oh, I shouldn't give that away." 

"Don't worry about it," Lita said. "Least you didn't completely screw up." 

"All right, let's view the events that led to this tremendous tag team of Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit finally being established," Coach said. 

Just imagine seeing clip points of them finally agreeing to put every grudge to rest, having a few good matches on SmackDown, and winning the Tag Team Titles from D-Von and Simmons in the revived WWE Starrcade Pay-Per-View on February 17th, and then a few more good matches, inclunding the one in which the Hardys were iced out by Angle and Benoit. Then, go over to the win by Matt and Shane over Rios and HHH (not all of the matches, though) in order to become the #1 Contenders. 

"Those guys are better than I thought," Matt said when that was done. 

"And I know you don't like to admit it, because of your Mattitude," Coach pointed out. 

"Completely right," Shane agreed. "Tisn't controlling him anymore, but he can't let go of it." 

"That's because of the M that changed it to MATTitude," Matt clarified. "Get it? And besides, we beat Rios and HHH. We are in Tag Team competition!" 

"Anyway, also in Tag Team Title action will be the lining of the World Tag Team Championships when the Dudley Boys - Bubba Ray and Spike - take off in a fatal four-way World Tag Team Title bout also featuring Jamal and Rosey, Billy & Chuck and the World Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho and Christian. Recently, there's been a little terror going around when it comes to that match," Coach pointed out. 

"That's right," Marissa said. "Edge joined Jericho and Christian, naming the threesome the Red Brood. I watched Eric operate." 

"I reckon it could have been them rather than 3 Minute Warning to face us in the 10-manner along with the Eyes of Righteousness," Jeff said. "But, that team has asked for it for a long time. Remember when I was partners with the Dudley Boys? It was all because of those three. Jamal, Rosey and Rico." 

"Well, let's not forget that, like you pointed out, Marissa, it _was_ thanks to Eric Bischoff that the group of Edge, Chris Jericho and Christian formed the Red Brood," Coach said. 

"Good point," Matt said. "Two of those guys may challenge for the Tag Team Titles once we get them." 

"We'll take a break for now, but when we come back..." Coach said, then the Titantron reviewed Shawn Michaels giving Triple H and Ric Flair a threat while Essa Rios was sleeping. 

7:09 PM, during the HEAT hour of WrestleMania: "Welcome back to HEAT as the fans are filing in for tickets to WrestleMania 19 here at the Key Arena in Seattle, Washington!" Coach exclaimed. "Now, our second piece of work to review here tonight is the World Heavyweight Title match between Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Ever since WWE Vengeance 2002, those two have been at one another's throats. Well, at about at 5:50 PM, Kane requested to be in the match, mainly because of personal issues he had to settle with Triple H, secondly because of the World Heavyweight Championship. He also asked to make it a Triple Threat, Hell in the Cell, Loser Outage match for the Title. You will notice that the chalk table is different because of our very chairman Vince McMahon accepting Kane's adjustment proposal." 

The camera switches over to the chalkboard match table. 

**Match Order - Contestants/Teams - Match Stipulations and Online Championships**   
Preliminary Match - Jeff Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero - None   
First Match - Lita vs. Jacqueline - Spot in RAW Triple Threat WWE Women's Title Match   
Second Match - Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon vs. _Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit_ - WWE Tag Team Championships   
Third Match - _Victoria_ vs. Dawn Marie - WWE Women's Championship and Title Defense in RAW Triple Threat Match   
Fourth Match - Dudley Boys (Bubba/Spike) vs. Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Jamal and Rosey vs. Billy & Chuck - World Tag Team Championships   
Fifth Match - _Triple H_ vs. Kane vs. Shawn Michaels - Hell in the Cell, Loser Outage, World Heavyweight Championship   
Sixth Match - Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus - (first ever) World Women's Championship   
Seventh Match - Brock Lesnar vs. _The Big Show_ vs. Dave Batista vs. Scott Steiner - Elimination Chamber, Loser Outage, WWE Heavyweight Title 

"You can see the difference in the chalk table, as now, Kane has been installed into the match. Now, both men have had their issues with Triple H in the past, when you talk about Kane and Shawn Michaels. Now, what I think they'll do is eliminate Triple H, then fight one another for the title. But this is Hell in the Cell. Out of all three men, Triple H has the best chance because he's been in more of these babies." 

"That's right," Lita said. "The rivalries are certainly going to be put to an end, but I think it'll go on Triple H's shoulders, and I mean the mark of being the guilty loser." 

"Let me tell you," Matt said. "It's very, very puzzling. I mean, why have both Hell in the Cell and Elimination Chamber matches on the same night? It just doesn't sound right. I mean, the Hell in the Cell match is first, right? Well, the Chamber is right over the fans. If the anchor drops, lots of spectators who come to enjoy the Pay-Per-View will end up dying on it, and it could mean the beginning of the end for the WWE." 

"The anchor's never dropped, Matt," Coach roughly tried to reassure him. "But then again, they were only holding a Cage, a Cell or a Chamber. But now, they're holding a Cell AND a Chamber. That is a very good point. There are two anchors to solve that, but they may both be weaker from having to hold double pressure." 

"And what about when the Cell is raised after that match is done? If it doesn't go right, the show won't continue, and, once again, the WWE could well be dead. And what if it does get raised successfully, but then it falls due to anchor damage or something?" asked Jeff. "Then, the superstars will have to crouch down to go through, some fans will likely get killed, and The Big Show will be too big to fit." 

Suddenly, Vince McMahon comes into the ring from the No Chance entrance with the same old business suit. 

"Hardys, I know what you're talking about," Vince started. "I had an impression it would concern you." 

"How'd he know?" Matt asked. "It's as though he read our minds or something." 

"I guess it runs in the family," Shane answered. 

"You see, I had the same concerns before, and you've been bothering me about it all of last night, Shane," Vince said. "In this case, it runs into the friendship. It's about the anchors holding up the Cell and the Chamber, right? Well, let me tell you, and all of these fans this: these are superiorly durable anchors. Worried about picking apart the steel? Can't be. It won't happen. These will stay up for 24 hours, and I just connected the wire, anchors and structures this morning before you woke up. So, this will happen. Nothing will go wrong. I am practically sure of something that is very risky. So, there is no need to worry about dying or killing World Wrestling Entertainment in here." He then dropped the mic he was speaking on and left. 

7:21 PM: "Well, all concerns have been put to rest about the Hell in the Cell and the Elimination Chamber matches tonight!" Coach said. "We're ready to continue our session of HEAT to review the night ahead! Just remember - the...what's that number again?" 

"What, our team number insignia?" Matt asked. "In that case, it's H5. Remember that, I think I told a moment ago." 

"Oh, yeah! Just remember, the H5 Team Extreme is in the suite with me, the Coach, on Lita's last night of HEAT. Just remember, she has to come down the staircase, just like all the others, who will be in action tonight, starting right here on MTV's HEAT when Jeff Hardy takes on Eddie Guerrero in a match of superior athletes!" Coach said. 

"Well, let's get back to business and just streak in on the Heavyweight Championship matches tonight," Shane said. 

"The rivalry between Brock Lesnar and The Big Show's rivalry has been taken to an extreme turning point, but now that Dave Batista has proven an instant elite like Randy Orton and Lesnar already have, and Scott Steiner is back in the biz, there is nothing that can stop this from going into the Elimination Chamber," Lita said. "But it was the same man who got 3 Minute Warning on me who came up with the Chamber match and added Scottie and Davie to the mix." 

Imagine Lesnar and Big Show's rivalry going to an extreme point, the both of them attacking one another and getting into vicious fights and brawls for many RAW and SmackDown programs now, and then, once, on SmackDown, Eric Bischoff coming up with the idea of putting them in the Elimination Chamber ALONG with Steiner and Batista. Then, the four of them go into vicious battles to see who's the best. Also include Batista getting mugged by Big Show after he defeate Reverend D-Von on SmackDown and then Steiner and Lesnar...well, coming to his rescue and starting up another quartercation which (unprecedentedly) lasted 15 minutes with Big Show being the only one (though **BARELY**) able to stand! Continue with any other encounters involving at least two of those men if you wish. If not, then just go back to the reviewers in the press box. 

"We go over to the World Heavyweight rivalries at this time," Shane said. 

Now, imagine Shawn Michaels and Triple H really getting out of control against one another with several unbelievable incidents, including Michaels suplexing HHH out of the ring and though a table on RAW! Anything else you can come up with: do at least 7. After that, add Kane coming into the office and asking to include himself in the match and make it Hell in the Cell, Loser Outage. Go back to the point in which Kane was given a Sweet Chin Music track to enjoy asleep, and anymore. 

"Well, we can take a break here," Coach said. We'll be right back with more Sunday Night HEAT! 

7:32 PM: "Your second-to-last round on HEAT on your last term, Lita, and we get to track down your heated Women's Division!" Coach exclaimed. 

"That's right," Lita said. "Tonight, Victoria and Dawn Marie go head to head for the WWE Women's Title, and an old friend of mine, Trish Stratus, is taking on Torrie Wilson in the first-ever World Women's Championship match. The gold is painted red to be a little creative, because they're mainly only halfway painted in silver or not painted at all, the gold titles we have here in WWE. The World Cruiserweight and Worls Women's titles are a definitely better-looking improvement. I'd live to own one of those. And I get to begin my destiny at owning the regular title tonight as I face Jacqueline." 

"That's right," Marissa said. "Just remember, though: Victoria and Dawn's match, your match and the match in which Nidia beat me...two weeks ago, I think? But, it was my last match, I gave up the business - well, not really, just getting myself into matches - and decided to just be the valet of this team. But when she beat me, she earned a match to face the winner between yours and Jacqueline's match and the winner of the WWE Women's Title match, which are both on this Pay Per View, in a Triple Threat tomorrow night on RAW which will finalize the WWE Women's Title routes." 

"But tonight, Nidia's boyfriend Jamie Noble defends the WWE Cruiserweight Title against...uh, I don't know. Does he really have a match?" Coach asked. 

"Not that I know of," Lita said. "And besides, he's not the Cruiserweight Champion anymore. It's Crash Holly." 

We go into the warmup room with the match table changed. 

**Match Order - Contestants/Teams - Match Stipulations and Online Championships**   
Preliminary Match - Jeff Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero - None   
First Match - Lita vs. Jacqueline - Spot in RAW Triple Threat WWE Women's Title Match   
Second Match - Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon vs. _Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit_ - WWE Tag Team Championships   
Third Match - _Victoria_ vs. Dawn Marie - WWE Women's Championship and Title Defense in RAW Triple Threat Match   
Fourth Match - Dudley Boys (Bubba/Spike) vs. Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Jamal and Rosey vs. Billy & Chuck - World Tag Team Championships   
Fifth Match - Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Crash Holly - WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match Officiated by Stacy Keibler   
Sixth Match - Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus - (first ever) World Women's Championship Officiated by a Mysterious Returner   
Seventh Match - _Triple H_ vs. Kane vs. Shawn Michaels - Hell in the Cell, Loser Outage, World Heavyweight Championship   
Eighth Match - Brock Lesnar vs. _The Big Show_ vs. Dave Batista vs. Scott Steiner - Elimination Chamber, Loser Outage, WWE Heavyweight Title 

"We've seen all we can have of these updates on the table," Shane complained. "Now, there's a mysterious returner to WWE who is going to officiate the World Women's Championship match, and now, Jamie Noble, Rey Mysterio and Crash Holly are going in a Triple Threat match officiated by Stacy Keibler for the WWE Cruiserweight Title! What's next?" 

"I got a phone call from Ch-" 

"Shush!" Lita interrupting Marissa, who replied with an oh and stopped talking. 

"Were you about to mention the name of the mysterious returner?" Coach asked. 

"No, no, not at all," Marissa denied it. 

"Oh," Coach said. "Anyhow, we'll check out the Women's division right about now, and Lita, I think you might be pretty surprised." 

Imagine seeing Lita issue the match out of the spirit of competition and Jacqueline accept, and then imagine the 6-person tag involving Marissa, then see Nidia come into the Extreme women's room with the threat to Marissa and the Triple Threat suggestion, which also came to Lita. See Nidia defeat Marissa in the one-on-one as easy as eating cookies and then see Victoria and Dawn go into problems which escalate further than the ring. Be sure to get the correct arenas when you know them. 

"So, it will be Nidia against the two winners of tonight's female matches other than the World Women's Championship in a Triple Threat Match to complete what began two weeks ago, which is the route to the WWE Women's Title," Lita said. "And I'm in there!" 

"Sorry to see you go, but it will be good to see you back in the ring," Coach said. 

"You beginning to like her, Coach?" Matt asked. "She belongs to Version 1." 

"That's a known fact now that the brand extension is over," Coach said. "Not seeing you work for the same boss as me really brought you out of my senses for the past few months." 

"S'all right," Matt was nonchalant about it all. 

"How'd you know I was liable to apologize?" Coach asked. 

"It always happens," Matt said. 

"Well, viewing my division has made me really want to leave," Lita said. "I really want to go back into that ring." 

"Used really twice," Jeff pointed out to her. 

"Don't correct me," Lita had a frowningly disappointed expression. 

"Sorry," Jeff said. 

"But let me tell you the truth," Matt said. "I don't know who this mystery comeback artist is, but Vince has to have thought that their last term was very good and that they were in their prime." 

"Wonder if those requirements meet Ken Shamrock," Coach said. 

"Why do you think he was accepted to come back ino the ring?" Shane asked. "That was a great match we had. Evenly matched, and then he came up and picked me apart. He could compete against Brock Lesnar someday." 

"Don't count on it," Coach said. "Shamrock may be young, but he knows not Brock." 

"What about the fact that he won the 1998 King of the Ring when Brock was...still in college, I think?" Matt said. "Oh, yeah. What about that and te fact that four years later, Brock won that in 2002?" 

"Shamrock's second year, Brock's first, Shamrock has more age," Jeff said. 

"But with age comes experience, and Ken's got plenty," Shane said. 

"CALM THE SITUATION!" Lita ordered. 

"An order on this set?" Coach questioned. "And on your last day, too. Come on, you've gotta give me a break here. Anyway, stick around, we'll be back to view the World Tag Team Title match on the way." 

7:42 PM: "Back on HEAT, Version 1 is in the house," Matt said. "Coach decided to take a leave for about three minutes for some important reason, so I'm taking over the start of the show. Now, just because we're facing Kurt and Chris for the WWE Tag Team Titles doesn't mean they're the only tag team we need to worry about, is it, Shane?" 

"Absolutely not," Shane said. "Let's check out the World Tag Team Championship match." 

Check out footage of all four tag teams against one another in RAW or SmackDown events, or at least one partner from at least two of the teams. On SmackDown the 20th, Bubba Ray Dudley, Chris Jericho, Jamal and Chuck Palumbo went into the ring in a Fatal Four-Way Loser Outage match which was so amazing that all hell broke loose once their partners came in. Come up with someting more than just that, though. But make it relevant to the World Tag Team Titles. Anyhow, once that's over... 

"Lita, be prepared to say goodbye to this set soon," Jeff reminded her. ot that she forgot, but...you know. 

"We'll be right back with final comments later and then we go to the ring," Coach just came back. 

7:49 PM: "You guys are going to be a part of a most phenomenal Pay-Per-View. Only the World Cruiserweight Championship is secure, heated tensions will most likely die in the ring and we have both Hell in the Cell and Elimination Chamber matches here tonight," Coach made the finality remarks. 

"Well, it's my job to leave," said Jeff as his entrance theme hit and he came down the stands into the ring. He was wearing the same pants he wore teaming with the Dudleys in November 2002 and a black shirt with the H3 necklace outline design along with those boots and elbow pads this time. Eddie Guerrero came out in his same old outfit, except it was the red long tights rather than the green ones. 

The match got started as Jeff and Eddie moved over to the left in a circling motion so that they face each other, then, Jeff tricked Eddie into thinking he would start with a grapple, and took Eddie down by the boots. He immediately fired a Whisper in the Wind and got the cover, 1, 2, kickout. Suddenly, Chavo's music was heard, but no Nephew Guerrero. Eddie got in a school boy pin, 1, 2, kickout by Jeff. That took a lot out of him, though. Eddie started picking apart the Cameron daredevil with punches to the spinal back area. When Jeff finally was down on his stomach, Eddie picked him up and gave him another punch to the spinal area. He then covered him 1, 2, kickout. Eddie then went for a scoop slam, covered him, 1, 2, kickout. Going on with vintage wrestling moves including suplexes and jawbreakers, Eddie then thought he had in the Latino Heat Frog Splash, which was the original version that he created as a child. But Jeff rolled out of the ring, stood up on his twofeet, ran back in, fired a few punches to the head, irishwhipped Eddie, leapfrogged over him and fired a Hurracanrana. Then, he hooked the leg, 1, 2, kickout. Jeff was then on a roll. He came down with a northern lights suplex, the Whisper in the Wind, and then a cover. 1, 2, kickout by Latino Heat. Eddie tries to give Jeff a low blow when referee Tim White (finally back after Hell in the Cell between HHH and Jericho back at Judgement Day 2002) has his back turned, but Jeff completely closes his legs. That being done, he fires a dropkick, covers Eddie, 1, 2, kickout. Then, he goes for a Twist of Fate, but Eddie pushes out. Jeff ducked away from one of Eddie's clotheslines, and then got in a backward Twist of Fate, and fired the Swanton Bomb to win the match! He picked up the cover, 1, 2, 3! 

8:01 PM, beginning WrestleMania: Lita came down with her old red shirt from No Mercy 2000's day and another pair of Matt's pants once her entrance hit. Like Jeff, she got a loaded box of cheers from the fans. Jacqueline came out with...well, the usual entrance, tied top, long tights and boots. 

Lita then started with a Scoop Slam on Jacqueline, who then stood up into a spinning wheel kick from the woman who moved to North Carolina to be with her boyfriend. Lita then covered Jacqueline, 1, 2, kickout. Jacqueline then fired a few punches, and then Irishwhipped Lita, walked slowly after her and gave her a kitchen sink. I mean the move. Anyway, now that you get the royal point, I can get back to work. Lita's gut was a bit empained, and just to make sure, she kept on that neck brace for this big return match. Jacqueline then helped her up by the hand and punched her in the forehead. Jacqueline then went for the cover, 1, 2, kickout. Jacqueline and Lita were then trading punches and finally, Lita knocked Jacqueline down with one. Lita covered her, 1, 2, kickout. Lita irishwhipped Jacqueline and tried to toss her off her back, but Jacqueline, noticing, kicks Lita in the face. She's wobbling a little bit. Jacqueline then gets behind Lita and is about to give her a Cobra Clutch to finish the job, but that's right when Lita fired a groin kick, knocking Jacqueline down, forcing her into favoring her low blow area and Lita into a chorus of boos. Lita then fires a Twist of Fate and a moonsault to cover Jacqueline 1, 2, 3 and finish the job. 

8:12 PM: Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon came down to a chorus of boos in the Mattitude Connection entrance. Marissa came down, and the boos were even louder. Matt with his new Mattitude pants and the Version 1 shirt, and Shane wore a gray Shane-O-Mac on a red shirt and black pants. Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit wore their usual outfits coming down to Forceable Entry's Whatever theme. The match got started with Matt and Angle. The Olympic Hero was receiving chants of his name, rather than the words "You suck". For the first time, the fans wanted the tag team of Matt and Shane to lose! That was beginning to happen, because Matt was given two belly-to-belly suplexes by Angle, who then covered him, 1, 2, kickout. Matt and Angle were beginning to get matched up evenly for about five minutes. Suddenly, Matt comes down with the Side Effect on Angle, and both men have to tag in their partners. Benoit's name was being chanted all over rather than Shane's. Shane was tagged in first, then Benoit. Shane ran into two clotheslines from the Rabid Wolverine, and then on the third, he ducked, bounced off the ropes and fired a flying forearm smash, or so he thought, because Benoit had dodged and given him the Crossface. It was too early, so it was easy for Shane to get to the ropes and have referee Charles Robertson break up the hold. Benoit then fired a few vicious stomps to the spine of Shane-O-Mac, and then, that's when the entrance of Time to Play the Game. All four superstars and Marissa were on guard to find the Project of the Game coming after them. That's when Benoit gave Shane a multiple German suplex (4) and Angle fired the Olympic Slam on Matt, who rushed in. Suddenly, Triple H, Essa Rios, Ric Flair and X-PAC in nWo/DX colors came out of the crowd and jumped the four of them, not caring that X-Pac had knocked Marissa down on the run! HHH Pedigreed Matt, X-Pac introduced Shane to Christian's old Power Buster, Rios gave the Rios Driver to Angle, and Flair reversed a Crossface of Benoit into a Figure Four Leglock! 

After a moment, HHH took the mic and said some words: 

"GET READY TO ____ IT, BECAUSE DX IS BACK!" 

D-Generation X had been reborn by those four men! The DX theme hit, and the four members of the new generation of rebels celebrated in the ring. Suddenly, the screen had blacked out to the nWo entrance, and out came Scott Hall with the nWo biker vest and pants! Unbeliavable, eh? Well, I'll tell you what else: it says, "is now a part of D-GENERATION X!" on the back of the vest! Hall hugged his DX teammates, while the nWo entrance was still going. Now, the DX entrance was back, and the FIVE of them signaled the ____ it sign! All this while, there was a gigantic chorus of boos. 

Suddenly, the Red Brood, Kane and Shawn Michaels came to attack, and all hell was about to break loose! But fortunately, the No Chance entrance popped up and Vince McMahon came out with the suit. Vince then said that if all this was allowed to happen now that the Pay-Per-View would be ruined and they would either get a pay cut, suspension or termination as responsibility for that occurance. They stopped then. 

Results from later tonight: 

Victoria defeats Dawn Marie after a springboard lionsault to retain the WWE Women's Championship.   
The Dudley Boys gain the World Tag Team Titles after a Bubba Bomb to Chuck Palumbo, as Billy & Chuck and the Dudley Boys were the last two teams remaining.   
The mysterious return person was Chyna, and after Trish got in the Stratusfaction Bulldog to Torrie, she decided to give Trish a Jackknife, fall over her and count the 1, 2, 3 for herself to become the first-ever World Women's Champion!   
Rey Mysterio pins Jamie Noble to gain the WWE Cruiserweight Title from Crash Holly, although he got a slow count from Stacy Keibler, who got hindered by Nidia once. But unlike others, Mysterio stayed on top of Noble rather than blowing a steam, and it came into good.   
Kane gives Shawn Michaels the first Tombstone Piledriver since his return in order to become World Heavyweight Champion. They both eliminated Triple H immediately with a Chokeslam from Hell and a track of Sweet Chin Music with Kane getting the cover.   
The Big Show was triple teamed and finally given a sit-down powerbomb by Dave Batista, who pinned him first out and got F5ed by Brock Lesnar and knocked out, and then Scott Steiner follows up with the Screwdriver to the once-known Next Big Thing and makes him tap to the Steiner Recliner in order to gain the WWE Heavyweight Championship. 

The return of D-Generation X was all too big, all too powerful, and all too frustrating for the H5 Team Extreme and the Tag Team Champions! But now that the Red Brood, Kane and Shawn Michaels are all too ready to handle them, is there no need for Matt, Shane, Jeff, Angle or Benoit to get involved? And Lita will have to explain that groin kick if she hopes for the team to be cheered for again. Eagerly await it. At short last, the H5 Team Extreme had 1) seen Lita win a match, 2) been booed against a superstar other than Ken Shamrock and 3) been the team to see D-Generation X's evil, unsuspected return. _Chapter 8: Explain Your Case_, is coming up next in this story of the H5 Team Extreme. Until then, enjoy! 

Welcome to the era of Prime Time Mattitude! 


	8. Explain Your Case

**Shane Extreme**   
**Chapter 8: Explain Your Case**

Monday, March 24th, 2003   
Rose Garden in Portland, OR 

3:29 PM: We go into the H5 Team Extreme's locker room, where we witness... 

"Lita, you damn idiot!" Shane was throwing a temper tantrum over getting booed. 

"Look, Shane," Lita said. "I know what I did wrong, and I alrady feel bad enough as it is. Making me feel worse isn't going to solve anything." 

"What you need is a memory adjustment!" Shane yelled. "A groin kick is an illegal move, and it makes the people hate you! Thanks to your usage of it, you got us booed, and you barely got away without a DQ! You don't see the full horror in it because you won the match! But when it comes to us, we not only got booed, but we got attacked by DX! Now, what do you have to say about that!? Huh!?" 

At that point, tears ran down from Lita's eyes, and Shane, wearing a blue sweater with a hood along with the rest of his outfit which I will mention in the match, looked in wide-eyed horror. He never thought he'd make Lita cry after becoming best friends with _her_ boyfriend. And to make things worse, she had run off crying. 

"Do you realize what you've done!?" Matt yelled after a moment. "Sure, she may have gotten us booed, but look at yourself. Your eyes have gone wide. You're horrified. My girlfriend is running off crying, and the other superstars are going to come around, asking her what the heck is going on and suspecting that I broke up with her again. And do you know why? BECAUSE OF YOU! It's all your fault! You shouldn't have yelled at her like that!" 

"Well, could I help it!?" Shane yelled back at his very own best friend. "Excuse me, Matt! The girl got us booed, and you still love her!?" 

"YES!" 

"I'm not the one to blame for this! She is!" 

"Maybe if you handled it more calmly, this wouldn't-" 

"EXCUSE ME! HANDLED IT MORE CALMLY, YOU SAY!? In this year came the first match in which I had ever been cheered for since 22 months earlier than then! And that time, which was WrestleMania 17, I was against my dad, so I didn't like it! Now what happens two years later at Mania 19? I turn from cheers to boos again because of YOUR girlfriend's illegal maneuver!" 

"Excuse me! A groin kick is illegal if done twice in the same match! I saw the referee looking right at them when that happened! And besides, you've gone out of control!" 

"Don't tell me that!" 

Suddenly, the two of them were yelling, bickering and arguing at each other. Outside were Hardcore and Crash Holly. Hardcore knocked on the door. 

"GUYS, BREAK IT UP!" Marissa ordered in a loud cry. "Someone's at the door." 

She then opened it and found the Holly Cousins. 

"It's Bob and Mike," she told. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Matt asked. 

"We saw Lita crying, and we decided to ask what's up," Crash said nonchalantly. 

"Remember the groin kick that Lita gave Jacqueline last night?" Matt asked. "Shane yelled at her, and she went off crying." 

"I HAD REASON TO!" Shane tried to defend his case, still with that loud disrespectful expression on his pretty little face. "I had 22 months of being booed or not being on the screens at all, and in January, I became cheered for again! And now what? Lita's got to get me booed again! That was her fault!" 

"Excuse me!" Matt strongly opposed. "She promised us last night after the event that she was going to try to apologize and explain her case to the fans tonight! And besides, we've both been much used to getting booed at! What's so new about it!?" 

"To me, it's new!" Jeff yelled. He had just been standing there the whole time. "But that doesn't mean I'm on your side, Shane. The thing is, I want you two to break it up! You can't make a girl cry like you did, Shane, and as for you, Matt, you don't let your girlfriend get your brother to be part of a booed team by accident!" 

"Shut up!" Marissa yelled. 

"I can see the problem," Hardcore said. "You two are fighting over whether or not Lita should be called guilty about that." 

"We're arguing about whether or not Shane should have yelled," Matt said. 

"I say no," Vince said from behind the Hollys. 

"Why not?" Shane asked, knowing his father was speaking from behind. 

Hardcore and Crash then made room for Vince to pass. Father and son were in a stare, face to face. After about 16 seconds... 

"Because, you damn idiot, she already felt bad!" Vince burst. "You don't come up yelling at a woman when she's already ashamed of something that she's done, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO DO YOUR LOUD BABBLING ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID, AND THE WOMAN IS THE GIRLFRIEND OF YOUR VERY OWN BEST BUDDY, AND SHE, LIKE THE BOTH OF YOU, IS WORKING IN YOUR VERY OWN FATHER'S COMPANY!" 

"BOSS MAN!" he called. 

The Big Boss Man came through the Hollys' allowed space. They figured he was coming. 

"You two are going to lose your match if you don't go over there, stop fiddling, and apologize to Lita within the next 10 minutes!" 

"Where is she?" Matt asked calmly. 

"In the office," Vince said. "Steph and Eric are trying to talk to her." 

In there... 

"Lita, you're crying all over the floor," Steph said in concern. 

"But your brother," Lita managed to say in sobs. 

"You don't cry in this company," Eric warned. "DO YOU HEAR ME!?" 

"Eric," Steph sterned, "stop. This is exactly what Shane did to make Lita cry." 

"Why did he yell, though?" she asked Lita after turning to her. 

"The groin kick from last night," Lita said, still shedding tears from the eyes of a hopeless face. She now turned away from Steph and Bischoff and walked over to the wall. 

"Please, Lita, you have to get over it," Steph said, walking over to her left and touchng her right shoulder with the right hand. "It's not like you got fired for that. It just happened to be that you needed to use that half-illegal move. I've got an idea. I'm going to give you the first few minutes of tonight's show to try to get things straightened out with the fans. 

"Lita?" called a voice from just outside the closed door. 

"Matt, is that you?" Lita asked, managing to calm her sad moment down. The tearshed rate reduced highly, and her face was beginning to return to normal, but she still had that low, sickly-type voice tone. 

"Come on in, Matt," Bischoff invited him in. "Door's open." 

He not only found Matt, but also the others. Jeff, Vince, Marissa, Shane, Boss Man, and the Hollys. 

"Bob, Mike, you two can leave," Vince told them. 

"All right," Crash said. He then turned to leave. 

"Don't even think about it!" Hardcore yelled. 

"Huh?" Crash questioned. 

"I want to see how this turns out," Hardcore said. "Besides, if it goes bad, we may be able to help." 

"Cool," Crash said. "We'll stay." 

"What happened?" Lita asked, all back to normal. 

"Look," Matt started. "I'm sorry about what happened just a few minutes ago." 

"Unforgiven," Lita refused to let in. 

"What?" Matt was afraid of this. 

"Shane, you're the one who's supposed to apologize, not Matt," Lita said in a firm tone of voice. 

"Told you," Shane said. 

"But, I'll accept anyway," Lita said, relaxed. She and Matt then hugged one another. They let go two seconds into the hug, as Matt kissed Lita's hair. 

"You're back to your old self," Jeff said. "That's a good sign." 

"But don't forget," Steph said. "I gave you time to set things straight." 

"No," Lita said. "That's only part of a new idea I have to straighten things out." 

Suddenly, she runs off past the others. 

"Lita, wait!" Matt yelled, running a lookout for her safety. 

They found the place where she was going: Victoria's locker room. Victoria set up for Nidia, but she never figured Lita would strike her. With a spear to the wall, Lita began to walk away, when Shane pulled her by the arm and ran away. Now, he couldn't be scared of Victoria, could he? 

"Come on!" Shane yelled. "You've got to get out of here!" 

"What was that for?" Lita asked, her voice loudened. 

"Sorry, but I had to do it to get you out of here fast enough!" Shane panicked. "She could hurt you if you don't watch out." 

Speaking of Victoria, she had an evil grin on her face, knowing that the next woman had to be Nidia. But instead, Trish Stratus immediately ran past Lita, Shane and the others and into a fight with the WWE Women's Champion! Before Trish could hit her with a steel chair, however, World Women's Champion Chyna grabbed it from her. 

"Running is futile!" was a perfect saying, because Victoria caught Trish, who had to catch Chyna before Victoria could get her evil hands on her. That failed. 

Chyna and Victoria were forcing Trish to fight for her life, until Lita came along and dropkicked Chyna, then ran off! The Ninth Wonder of the World was then angry. 

"That Lita is going to get it," Chyna growled. 

"Hey, Chyna," Victoria called her. "I think I've got a plan." 

Doesn't sound good for Lita, does it? 

5:32 PM: Matt, Shane, Jeff, Lita and Marissa just finished eating at Burger King and were walking back to the Garden. They were just outside, ready to get in, when suddenly, Victoria and Chyna ambushed Lita and Marissa from behind! Matt and Shane had to pull off the assailants and knock them down. 

"What the heck is going on?" Boss Man asked outside. 

"Matt and Shane pulled us," Victoria said. "We were just walking past, and-" 

"They're lying," Jeff said. "They were massacring Lita and Marissa, so Matt and Shane had to pull them off." 

Matt and Shane were busy checking the girls. Chyna and Victoria were dragged by Boss Man into the office for disciplinary action. 

9:01 PM, starting RAW: Lita came out in a purple shirt and black NC pants to her entrance. Some fans cheered, while others booed. When she took the microphone... 

"Last night, (what) at WrestleMania 19, (what) you witnessed me use the half-illegal groin kick to defeat Jacqueline. (what) I'd like to state that unlike everyone who used a groin kick or a low blow before, (what) I actually feel sorry for the person I used it on, (what) which is Jacqueline, (what) and the people who witnessed it in the arena or on Pay-Per-View or who heard about it or read about it all over the Internet. (what) I really felt ashamed of myself that night. (what) But, I've made up for it with a few events today." 

The titantron showed footage of...well, basically everything that happened today. What can I say? 

Once that was done with... 

"Well, as you can see, I'm still with you fans, I'm still with the Extreme, and I think I've got my old self back." 

The fans then cheered loudly, but that silented when the No Chance entrance popped up to a chorus of boos. 

Vince and Steph come out in their suits as Bischoff does so in his jacket, shirt and jeans. 

"Lita, let me just ask you a good question," Vince said. "Are you sure that you're correct and ready to go tonight in all three categories?" 

"What three categories, Mr. McMahon?" Lita asked. 

"Emotionally, psychologically, and physically," Vince said. 

"You don't really need to worry about that," Lita said. "I'm all right. As for the neck brace still being on, which you didn't mention, I'm keeping it on, match or not, every day until Backlash comes as a safety precaution." 

"Good idea," Vince approved. Steph took the mic. 

"Lita, you and Marissa got ambushed by Chyna and Victoria, and you were crying this afternoon. You have a sensitive side which had taken every coin off all your other sides." 

"That was then, and this is now," Lita informed her. "I can tell you, I'm fully ready to go, and it's just about time for me to strike the coin loose." 

"Well, everybody!" Bischoff yelled. "You heard it yourself! Lita is back in full force, off the injured list!" 

The No Chance entrance started up AGAIN to a load of cheers. After the three at the office left, Dave Batista's entrance was heard, and suddenly, Batista himself, with D-Generation X behind him, came from in the crowd and tried to give Lita the Super Seat (I made that name) Powerbomb, when he was suddenly distracted by the Sexy Boy entrance, and then Shawn Michaels, the Hardy Brothers, The Big Boss Man, Shane McMahon and Edge came out from behind the draperies! All insanity had broken loose in the ring, Lita had managed to run off, and DX and Batista had to retreat! 

9:48 PM: Nidia's entrance popped up, and the trailer park girl came out in those short jeans, and a white, all-cotton tied top along with her boots. She was accompanied by Jamie Noble and Yoshi Tajiri. Some people cheered for her, while others booed at her. Victoria came out accompanied by Steven Richards and surprisedly, World Women's Champion Chyna! She was COMPLETELY booed! Suddenly, unsuspectedly, the Mattitude connection entrance popped up, and Lita came out with the other H5 members! Matt sporting his complex Mattitude formation pants and Version 1 shirt, Jeff sporting a white no-sleever and his complex spike formation pants, Shane having taken off the blue sweater to reveal a Lions-colored Shane-O-Mac shirt with white pants and Marissa wearing the same cyan shirt and black pants she had always worn. Instead of the usual Matt Facts, which were out of order, Mattitude.com showed Lita Facts, saying that 

LITA RESIDES   
IN SANFORD,   
SOUTH   
CAROLINA 

and that 

LITA INJURED   
HER NECK   
FILMING AN   
EPISODE OF   
DARK ANGEL. 

Aren't those known facts? Anyhow, only Noble, Richards and Matt were authorized to remain at ringside. Knowing how Tajiri got ejected out, Jeff, Shane and Marissa went back after crossing the ramp halfway. The start was simple: Matt's girlfriend was fighting for her life for the first 6 minutes, as Jamie's and Steven's were beating her down and breaking up on another's threecounts on her. The referee's back was turned by the arrival of Bull Buchanan at the ramp, and then, Steven Richards thought he could hit the Steven Kick on Nidia, who found out, ducked and let him hit Victoria in the back of her head! The fans laughed away as Richards was stupified! He ran away, and now, the worse wrestler, Nidia, was in conscience along with Lita, who then little by little started to take the match back into her own hands. After Nidia picks her up for some Emerald Fusion, Lita flips out of the way behind Nidia, and that's where it starts. After a dropkick, Noble tried to get into the act, but was given a Drop Toe Hold, in which he needed to hold on to Nidia in order not to get completely knocked down, and he enedd up taking her down in what would be 619 position, and he takes off for their locker room! Victoria then gave Lita a superkick to get the cover, 1, 2, 3. 

10:43 PM: Jeff's entrance showed up and he came out in the same outfit as when he and the others had accompanied Lita, and he came to a loaded box of cheers, as did Matt with the same outfit again when the Mattitude connection showed up. Fans cheered for him a lot as well. Shane came out in his outfit with Marissa when the Money Talks entrance popped up out of the air. But then, that's when the bombs came tumbling down, and the old Get the Tables theme popped up, giving Bubba Ray (cut-sleeve vest, red and black navy pants, 3D boots) and Spike (pound 4 pound shirt, brown and green navy pants, regular boots) the room to be cheered for. Suddenly came the entrance of 3 Minutes, and 3 Minute Warning stepped out. Jamal and Rosey came with their old Island Boys outfits, and Rico came with his zebra pants and boots. The Testify entrance then came up, and the Eyes of Righteousness came out. Reverend D-Von with the now non-3D boots, backpocket pants and Testify tanktop, and Ron Simmons with his old boots and his golden namebrand pants. 

Well, the match tipped off with Bubba Ray and Rico in the ring. Rico first tried to go for that spinning kick, the Sudden Impact. That wouldn't work. Why? Bubba blocked it. He went on with his Bionic Elbow Combo. Jamal and Rosey each got into the ring and suffered separate clotheslines until they got a double. They ended up leaving. But Reverend D-Von was on the 9 to 12 turnbuckle top rope if you look from regular video game camera view, and when Bubba looked there, it was time to be clotheslined to the ground. Jeff immediately flew to D-Von's back, tackling him. Ron Simmons then came in and gave him the old Faarooq Spinebuster. Matt rushed into the ring and gave Simmons a few punches before Irishwhipping him into the same old Twisting Side Effect he used to take out Yoshi Tajiri in the tag team match in which he used one hand to make a pinfall cover for the victory. Currently, Shane and Spike were the only ones not in the act. The old Island Boys were taking out Mattitude with several double team moves. Shane and Spike then came in from behind, and all insanity was breaking loose, as Shane gave Jamal the McMahon's Strike and Spike tried to give Rosey the Dudley Dog Career, but ended up thrown into the crowd by the 6'6", 375 pounds of Rosey, whom, as an OVW Island Boy, had used the name of Kimo. That name is still on his Island outfit. Now, all 10 men were in, and Simmons, Jamal and Rosey were knocked out, leaving Rico and D-Von trapped with the other five. But then again, the other Eye of Righteousness, Ron Simmons, had knocked Jeff out as well. It was just 2 on 4, or should I say 2 on 3, since Spike was in the crowd right now due to Rosey. Rico tried to hit the Sudden Impact on Bubba Ray, but when he duckked, instead of D-Von being hit like he suspected, it was Matt, who was behind D-Von, who from behind his half-brother had also ducked! Suddenly, D-Von was about to hit the Saving Grace on Bubba Ray, when he calmly set him down instead. He then turned Bubba towards him and shoved him. 

"BUBBA!" D-Von yelled. After a moment. Bubba looked confused, while D-Von's eyes bulged. 

"GET THE TABLE!" And now, Bubba did what D-Von asked - or should I say requested - and got the table. Suddenly, D-Von attacked Rico, and when Bubba had set up the table, D-Von gave Rico the Saving Grace onto it! D-Von Dudley had been reborn out of the Reverend shell! Meanwhile, Ron Simmons just got back up, and D-Von gave him the next Saving Grace! 

"You see, Ron, I enjoyed being your tag team partner and a Reverend in my own right! But now, the rules have changed! I can't keep constantly swapping between Reverend D-Von and D-Von Dudley, so I've decided to make a little decision! From now on, I will be "Reverend" D-Von Dudley! What was once thought impossible is here!" 

Reverend D-Von Dudley!? That _is_ impossible! The next thing you know, when Spike gets back to the other side and then into the ring, he actually joins in Bubbba and D-Von's handraise without question! He knew what had happened. Matt and Shane helped Jeff up, but then, that's when Rosey came up and gave him that Samoan Drop. Next thing you know, it was McMahon's Strike, and the ref counted 1, 2, 3! He never even left the situation! 

What's next? How about _Chapter 9: D-Generated Trap_! 


	9. DGenerated Trap

**Shane Extreme**   
**Chapter 9: D-Generated Trap**

Thursday, March 27th, 2003   
ARCO Arena in Sacramento, CA 

11:42 PM: Shane McMahon awoke, and to his astonishment, neither Matt or Jeff Hardy had even opened their eyes an inch. 

Right when he got up, he was greeted by Lita and Marissa. They left the door of the Extreme men's room open. 

"Hey, Shane," Lita worded the greeting. She was wearing the old red top and beltless pants (4 notes: 1st, this is probably the first time I'm revealing a whole outfit before a match. 2nd, pants! Not pant_ie_s! PANTS! 3rd, Marissa's wearing the usual. 4th, it's the old outfit she wore with Rios.) 

"What's going on?" Shane asked. "You never wore that thing since Rios vanished from the face of your heart." 

"I'm headed for Matt," Lita said. 

"You trying to please him with this outfit?" Shane asked. 

"Yeah," Lita answered him again. 

"I think it'll work without the shadow of a doubt," Shane approved. 

"Thanks," Lita said. "At least you're not carried away." 

"I know who I want," Shane said, "and I already have her. Right, Mris?" 

"Right," Marissa agreed. 

"Oh, Matty," she softly called, walking over to Matt's bed. She gets to his right ear and whispers in it two words: wake up. 

"Huh? Whoa!" Matt exclaimed, jumping out. "I thought you weren't going to wear this again." 

"Like it?" Lita asked. 

"Yeah," Matt said in a quiet dream tone. Partially because he liked it a lot. The other part: well, he's asleep. 

"You know how to judge outfits," Marissa said. 

"Not yours," Shane joked, the two of them laughing. 

Suddenly, Stephanie McMahon came in with Reverend D-Von Dudley. As a safety precaution for Lita, after she saw the outfit, she purposely told D-Von to wait outside of the room. 

"I need Shane to come near the office," Steph said. 

"What is it about?" Shane asked. 

"Come," Steph ordered. 

Shane followed his sister, who was now an equal assistant of their father Vince McMahon along with Eric Bischoff. Speaking of which, Steph was walking slowly, and Shane still followed her strictly. She was wearing the business suit. D-Von was wearing the Testify shirt and new green-and-black Dudley military pants. As for Shane...well. Wait. Steph stopped a few steps short of getting into the office. 

"Shane, D-Von, during this past Monday night's RAW program, Eric and I came up with a very wonderful idea," Steph gloated. "And the boss, Mr. McMahon, approved of it. I mean your father and mine, Shane. Anyway, back to both of you. You two will be put into the ring tonight, and the winner gets a special prize. The only mystery is what. The only clue is that it has something to do with this wonderful idea of ours that no-one knows of outside the office." 

"You can tell us," Shane tried to urge her unsuspiciously. 

"It's a surprise," Steph told hem. "Not even you can know about it." She then started to walk toward the office. 

"I don't get it," D-Von said. "What can this prize possibly be?" 

"If you ask me, I'm thinking it's nothing," Shane answered that question. 

"I heard that!" Steph scolded. She came back and slapped her brother in the face. Then, she restarted her path towards the office of Vince McMahon. 

"Hey, Shane, are you alright?" D-Von asked. Shane was down on the ground, holding on to that cheek of his. 

_Steph's slap is still as strong as before,_ Shane thought. _I don't know why she's not in the ring._

"Hey, bros! Get the Hardys!" D-Von called to his half-brothers Bubba Ray and Spike. They were about 13 steps away, but they heard. 

Meanwhile, in the Extreme men's room... 

"Matt, just get rid of the Mattitude," Lita said. 

"Why?" Matt asked. "Why would you want me to halt Mattitude?" 

"It's just that it's not...well, the Matt Hardy that I knew," Lita answered. "It doesn't look right." 

"Sorry, but I can't drop it, and it's really me," Matt said. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I probably don't want to be around you anymore, right? Well, I still have that special feeling-" 

"Hey, guys," Shane burst in, surprising the others. "The weirdest thing happened." 

"What?" Matt asked, who was just cut off in the middle of a sentence, but just finished getting to the part which actually touched his girlfriend's heart. 

"Steph told me and D-Von that she and Bischoff came up with a great idea and that Dad approved, and that we would be in a match that had a prize with something to do with it," Shane said. 

"My wonder is what?" Jeff asked. 

"That's exactly what I'm thinking! And listen here: when I said I was thinking that this prize was nothing but a win, she came back and gave me that slap of hers-OWW!" He finally noticed that slapped right cheek was in pain again. 

"Must still be as strong as before," Marissa observed. "I don't know why she's no longer wrestling." 

"I think it's just not in her anymore," Shane said. "I was wondering the same-Ooh!" 

"Hey, buddy, are you okay?" Matt asked as he came over to his friend. 

"I don't quite think I am," Shane said. "Especially when I'm hav-" 

"Be quiet," Marissa said. "It'll help you." 

That shut him up. And she was right. 

5:12 PM: The H5 Team Extreme decided to leave the arena to grab a burger at Burger King for themselves AND the Dudley Boyz. All three of them. Speaking of which... 

When all three of them are together, they can be called the Dudley Boyz with the Z, even if it's just the two who team up in a tag match. If one's not in the trio, they have to use an S. 

When they finally got them, it was time to eat. Shane had controlled his mouth as much as possible, and it did help. The right cheek was no longer empained from that slap from his sister. 

5:28 PM: They got back to the arena with a proper snack, and now, they went around looking for the Dudleyz until they found them in the locker room branded "Dudleyville." Matt then knocked on the door. 

"Come in," said a voice from inside. 

Marissa opened the door. For each person, one hand was holding their BK meals. As for the Dudleyz' meals, they were inside a bag Matt picked up while on the way back from the Kingdom. 

"Hey, it's you guys!" D-Von greeted. 

"The H5?" Bubba asked, who had his back turned. He was searching for something. 

"Yeah, it's them," Spike said. "Where's our lunch? Did you just buy for yourselves?" 

"No," Shane said before pointing to the black bag. Matt, likewise, was still holding it. 

After a few minutes, the food was eaten, the containing items were thrown in the trash, same old, crash bash. 

"Anyhow, you have a clue what this prize is?" Shane asked. 

"None at all," D-Von said. 

"If she's setting us up for a date with The Fabulous Moolah or a match against The Big Show, NO THANKS," Shane joked. 

"But if she's giving the winner a shot at selecting a partner to face off on either Tag Team championship, I think you're gonna enjoy it," Bubba said. 

"Well, it would be best if we were on our way," Matt said. 

"Huh?" Shane asked. 

"He's right," Lita said. 

"See you later, Duds," Jeff said. 

"Oh, uh, Jeff, stick around," Spike said. "Let me introduce you to something." 

"What?" Jeff asked. 

"Them," Spike said. At that point, the two women who did the first HLA on Bischoff's RAW before getting destroyed by Jamal and Rosey came out. Jeff looked at them in astonishment. Now, he wasn't falling in love. He just thought they weren't going to show up anytime soon. 

"What's this for?" Jeff asked. 

"Since Matt and Shane have a girl, I think you might need one," Bubba said. 

"No, thanks," Jeff said. "I'm alright." 

"Spike, he wouldn't even chase after Lita if I told him he could have her," Matt said. "I've tried that about a million times." He stalled the group, knowing that Jeff was getting into something. Now, it was time for him to get into the act. 

"If I were after any girl, it would be Trish," Jeff said. 

"Don't blame you on any part of that," Bubba complimented. 

"But then again, I'm not even really after her, if you get the point," the "little" Hardy added. "And even if I were, I'd make sure she likes me as well before I do anything half hasty. Now can you stop talking about girls and let us get going?" 

"All right," D-Von said. "Oh, uh, Shane...good luck." 

"You too, D," Shane said. Now, just because the H5 leaves the Dudleyz' room doesn't mean in the least bit that they're not going to talk to anyone else for the rest of the night, because at the halfway point between the Extreme men's room and the Dudleyz' room, they end up dealing with Edge and Christian of the Red Brood. 

"Hi, elective idiots," Christian said. 

"What?" Matt asked. 

"I said, hi, elective idiots," Christian repeated. 

"I'm not an idiot or an elective," Shane said. "What's with you guys, anyway? I mean, I've got a match against D-Von with a special miscellaneous prize, and now you've got to come up calling us idiots?" 

"That's exactly what happened to me and Hall!" Edge jumped. 

"You mean Scott Hall?" Shane asked. 

"Who do you think?" Edge asked. 

"Scott Hall," Marissa said. "That's who I think." 

"I was talking to Shane," Christian said. "And besides, who are you supposed to be? Their housemaid?" 

"No, my name's Marissa, and I'm Shane's wife." 

"Well, well, if it isn't the Mrs. Mazzola-McMahon I've been hearing about," Chris Jericho said, coming from behind them. How did he feel? The usual: like the king of the world! "You know what, though? You feisty self may well serve as a womanly touch in the Red Brood." 

"No, thank you!" Marissa yelled. 

"See what I mean?" Jericho asked in an egotistical laugh. "Anyhow, what seems to be the problem, here?" 

"They can't take a joke," Edge said. 

"That was an insult!" Shane yelled. 

"Hey, losers," Jericho said. "Why don't you try going to wrestling school? But don't worry. It won't be the slow, boring regular wrestling school. This will be the hellacious, fast-paced school of the king of the world!" 

"You think you're so glorious, but you don't have any Mattitude," Matt was quick to jump to response. "You know, if you ever even had Mattitude, you would have left Triple H alone after he beat you at last year's Mania, and you wouldn't even have to go into that Hell in the Cell match against him before facing the World's Strongest Man in last year's version of this exact same time situation, which is the SmackDown after WrestleMania. Ow!" 

Edge had hit him with a steel chair. 

"Who needs any of your losertude? Huh?!" You know where that came from. 

"Hold on a second!" The Big Boss Man had found out what was happening, and he was walking towards them in the direction of Jericho's back. "Listen to me and listen good! If you guys get into a fight scene, here, Edge, you and Shane are going to be immediately disqualified from your matches, and the Inter...I mean your special prizes will be handed down to your opponents!" 

"You were about to say something about Inter-something," Christian coaxed. 

"Yeah, now spit it out," Matt joined in. 

"Mr. McMahon will tell you in the ring to begin the night," Boss Man said. 

"Okay, then," Edge said. "We can wait. Right?" 

Behind them... 

"Scott, no! You are not going over there! If you do this to Edge, I'll ask Vince to fire you...again! And you don't want that, do you?" 

That was Eric Bischoff trying desperately to stop Scott Hall in his evil steps toward the Red Brood and the H5 Team Extreme. 

"No, you will not! If you even think about it, I will bring your career to an end right now! I'm telling you right now! You cannot hit your opponent with a sledgehammer before, during or even after your match and get away with it! There will be a penalty for this-AAH!" 

He had backed off because Hall began to swing it at him. 

"Listen! I am the one who decided to run the nWo, which then included YOU! I was the President of WCW, and I got you the opportunity to make the nWo in the first place!" 

Now, Hall was right in front of Edge. They had all heard and turned their attention to Hall and Bischoff. Suddenly, Edge comes away with a spear on Hall! 

Elsewhere... 

We head to the D-Generation X locker room. 

"Listen, guys," Triple H started up. Essa Rios, Dave Batista, X-Pac and Ric Flair were inside along with him. "I've got an idea. I know Shane and D-Von are going to have their special match tonight. For what, I don't know. So, why don't we..." 

8:00 PM, starting SmackDown: The fans are still filing in as the No Chance entrance tunes up, and Vince McMahon comes out in his business outfit without Stephanie or Bischoff around. After getting the microphone from Tony Chimel who had welcomed him into the ring... 

"Well, fans, I think you need to know," Vince started. "Four people are going to be involved in very special matches. You see, Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff came in with ingeniously lovable ideas. Since now the minor male competitors that weren't cruiserweights couldn't earn a singles title anymore, now the idea is to revive the WWE Intercontinental Championship! And what's more, the old World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship belt will be used for the first time since the Brand Extension even opened and for the first time ever as the World Intercontinental Championship! Now, to get to the matches." 

You could feel the chill in the air after Vince McMahon's announcement. 

"Here we go. Earlier today, I had Eric call Scott Hall and Edge over into the office, and I had Steph call Shane McMahon - yes, I know he's my son - and Reverend D-Von Dudley a few steps short of the office. Well, these are the special prizes! Edge, Scott, your match will be for the WWE Intercontinental Championship! Sorry, Kane, but you're already World Heavyweight Champion. I can't give you back the WWE IC title. And as for you, Shane and D-Von, you will be going for the World Intercontinental Championship!" 

Suddenly, the entrance started again and he dropped the mic. Hw got out of the ring and walked up the ramp to leave. But then again, he didn't quite leave. He stopped and turned to get back into the ring. What was he going to say now? He picked it up... 

"Oh, uh, one other thing. My daughter - Stephanie McMahon - and Eric Bischoff are going to have someone else join the assistance crew. It takes a manipulative slime ball who was once banned from the WWE to improve an office filled with brilliant minds. I'm talking about none other than...PAUL HEYMAN!" 

Then, suddenly, Cactus Jack's entrance music came along, but it was a new titantron footage screen (is pyro the right word for that?) for Paul Heyman which showed out. Heyman then got in the ring with his Yankees cap and business suit. 

"In case you're wondering why Mr. McMahon hired me as his third assistant, I am another certified genius who was the boss of a wrestling company. In fact, I was the boss of the same company that Stephanie McMahon took over! I groomed Brock Lesnar to be the Next Big Thing. I groomed Steve Austin to be Stone Cold. I groomed The Undertaker to be the Deadman. I groomed Rob Van Dam to be the Whole Dam Show. I groomed Bubba Ray, D-Von and Spike Dudley to be the Dudley Boyz! I even groomed Tommy Dreamer to be the Innovator of Violence! I'll tell you, I didn't create them. I'll admit I never did. But I groomed them to be what they are. I even groomed Mick Foley to be Cactus Jack and got to borrow his entrance music in case I would return, which I just did. You may think all my blabbing around is pointless, but I am just telling you people just about why you call me a certified genius!" All the while, he was getting booed. 

Paul dropped the mic, but it was Vince's No Chance which accompanied the two of them out. 

8:28 PM: Shane McMahon got a new pyro (is that right?) and a new MIDI QuickTime entrance music. The fans cheered for him largely as he was wearing a black shirt with a silver outline of Shane-O-Mac and silver pants as he came out. After he got into the ring and started hopping up as he usually does, the Testify entrance came up and Reverend D-Von Dudley came out. They cheeed for him as well, but not as much. I already described his outfit. 

In fast sportsmanship, Shane and D-Von shook hands. D-Von starts up with a clothesline to Shane. Shane gets back up, and he ducks under D-Von's next clothesline, only to get caught by a running cyclone forearm when he turns around. Shane gets up again, but D-Von gives him a shot to the midsection, followed by a powerbomb. D-Von then goes for the cover, 1, 2, kickout. Shane slowly gets up, but then is caught into an array of neck breakers and samoan drops. D-Von picks up Shane by the head, but the McMahon athlete begins to battle back with a few punches, but when he irishwhips D-Von, it's reversed, and D-Von throws him up into the air and gets out from under him, landing him into a pile of canvas. Afterwards, he picks him up and goes for the Diamond Cutter from DDP, which was once Bubba Ray Dudley's Bubba Cutter. But he goes too slow, and it isn't quite the cutter. D-Von shows the 3D sign, and now, he's going for the Saving Grace. But Shane flips out of the move, landing on his feet, and shows a shade of Rob Van Dam with a spinning hook kick. D-Von is knocked down, and now, Shane has an advantage. He goes on with a leg drop and gets the cover. 1, 2, D-Von kicks out. After he picks him up, he punches him a few times, then irishwhips him into the ropes for a McMahon's Strike. The last punch in the Strike was blocked by D-Von, who fired a clothesline, knocking Shane to the ground. D-Von was about to go for the cover, but Shane suddenly takes D-Von's arm and pulls him down. Getting up, Shane climbs to the top rope on an area that is half-way the other side and goes for a twisting moonsault. It connects, and Shane gets back on top of D-Von (he got off by exhaustion) for the 1, 2, 3! 

"Here is the winner and first-ever World Intercontinental Champion, Shane McMahon!" The new entrance music comes up, and Shane exhaustively celebrates as Matt comes up with that Version 1 shirt and green NC pants. Now, look who are laughing, clapping and hugging until D-Von comes up. They help him up, Shane both giving and receiving assistance, and Bubba and Spike come on for that ride as well. As the five are halfway up the ramp, the D-Generation X entrance pops up, and the sextet of controversy and evil (note that sextet means group of six and has really nothing to do with the word sex in itself) comes out. Triple H, Essa Rios and X-Pac wearing DX shirts and blue jeans, Dave Batista wearing a biker vest and white pants, Ric Flair wearing his usual suit and Scott Hall wearing...well, his nWo/DX shirt and black jeans. The six of them, since running to Matt, Shane and the Dudleyz, completely destroyed them to a point in which they all could barely walk. 

9:13 PM: The Mattitude connection entrance came up, and it so appeared that Lita had changed into a white cut shirt with a drawing of red lips at the center and her pair of green North Carolinian pants. Matt was wearing the same old as he wore in the DX attack. The fans cheered very much for them. Oh, yeah, while they were at the top of the ramp, Matt had used both hands to pick up Lita's left leg, held it with his right hand between arm and rib and used his left hand to do the Mattitude hand sign! After living for the moment...well, you should know. But what about Jamie Noble's entrance popping up, and he wore those same old jeans and knee pads, along with (surprise) a flannel vest. Nidia wore the same kind of shirt as Lita except its main color was black rather than white, and those same old exposive short jeans. All had to wear boots, 'cause they were in a match. This was going to be a mixed tag team match. 

Matt and Noble got things started, the egotistical Hardy mocking Noble's temper. Of course, ever since that losing streak he had long ago was snapped, Noble was getting splits of wins and losses, but he was still angry and desparate. The desperate part because he never got that big winning streak he was looking for and the angry part because he had lost to former Mattitude Follower Shannon Moore this past Monday night on RAW. Noble hastily ran at Mr. Mattiude himself, and ended up back tossed. Nidia immediately flung herself over the top rope to attack Matt, but the mistake was: that's when he turned around. When he caught her, he slid his hands under her jeans, grabbed them with his hands and used them to powerbomb her to the outside. That's when Noble comes up with a dropkick from behind Matt, which knocks him out of the ring. Then, Lita goes up the turnbuckle and gives Noble a hurracanrana. That was a deadly alliance array. Of course, intergender contact was not allowed, so referee Brian Hebner got Matt and Lita over to their corners, except for the fact that he put Matt in Noble and Nidia's corner, and Nidia and Noble became legal! 

Upon seeing this in the office, Vince remembered a match that he guest refereed about a month ago teaming Brock Lesnar and Scott Steiner against Dave Batista and then-WWE Heavyweight Champion The Big Show. 

We flashback into Vince's memory. 

_I saw Brock desperately head to a corner to make a tag. But the only problem was, he was going the wrong way, but he couldn't see that because he had his eyes closed. The match was so exhausting, next thing you know, Batista sees it and is laughing at the guy, because he's already a legal man, and he's tagging in Batista's partner, his very own arch-rival, but he doesn't know it! Next thing you know, Show and Batista are the two legal men, but they're the partners! Next thing you know, I end up thinking of what to do, as Steiner and Lesnar are ridiculed on opposite sides. Brock finally gets his eyes opened and he sees the partners in the ring, and himself and Steiner on opposite apron sides. That's when I come up with a new idea to solve this, and this idea is the debut, the beginning, the creation of a rule stating that if a tag ends in two members of the same team and none from the opposing team being legal people, then the team with the legal people officially wins the match. Brock and Scott wanted to destroy me, but that's when I successfully ran away, thanks to Shane warning them off._

Speaking of our World Intercontinental Champion, he was thinking the same thing, but from his point of view. And he was afraid of Hebner's mistake. Suddenly, he came rushing over to the ramp with a microphone. What did he do? 

"Excuse me, Mr. Hebner, but I just saw it," Shane said. "I remember my dad's rule, and yes, Matt and Lita are both illegal persons, while both opponents are authorized in the ring. But you are the reason they're there. There was no tag-in mistake. There was an officiating mistake. Either take Noble or Nidia out and put Matt or Lita in. Please! I don't want to have to see mine and my wife's best friends screwed by an officiating mistake in their first mixed or intergender tag team match in more than a year!" 

"You stay out of this, you hear me, Shane-O-Whatever!?" Noble yelled on another mic. "No, I ain't kiddin' around, neither! You better get out of here! And I mean right now, 'cause you're about to get yourself into some serious trouble, you hear!?" 

A boot hits Shane hard in the back of the head and was barely strength away from giving him a concussion. Whose boot was it? The boot for Yoshi Tajiri's right foot. 

"Good work, Tajiri! Now, he's out!" Noble jumped. "And as for you two, we win the match!" 

"Ladies and gentlemen, in order to correct his officiating mistake, referee Brian Hebner has decided to set up the legal field for Lita and Nidia. Therefore, this match will continue!" That was Chimel. 

Tajiri in his trademark gi was beating up on Shane, when suddenly, Crash Holly in his black-and-red Holly namespace trunks came out and Crash Landed the Japanese Buzzsaw! The ex-Hardcore Houdini's action had Nidia and Noble distracted, but that's when Lita turns Nidia around and gives her the Twist of Fate! But as Lita comes up on the turnbuckle ready to get in a moonsault, it was the one which was indirectly at Noble's corner, and he took advantage by going to the other side of the same apron area and pushing Lita hard outside the ring! This made Matt furious, as he and Noble rushed into the ring. For good measure, Matt stomped his right boot on Nidia's stomach, but ended up caught in a Noble clothesline. The West Virginia native checked on his girlfriend, who was knocked out, and he carried her off to the backstage path from up the ramp. He awoke Tajiri with two soft slaps on the cheek, then the three ran off. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner by opponent's exit from the match, Matt Hardy and Lita!" Tony Gimmel's announcement, Brian Hebner's call, Vince McMahon's new rule made to replace the count-out. And if this were a title match, and Noble and Nidia had any titles on the line, this new rule would have had them actually LOSE that title (or in plural, those titles). I guess cowardice gets you less places now in the world of Mr. "McSatan". 

Oh, and as for the WWE Intercontinental Championship match, the title is gone to Scott Hall, as Triple H had pulled Edge out of the ring before he could go on top of Hall for a 1, 2, 3 after Edgecuting him. The chase of HHH led right to a Razor's Edge and a win from Hall. An altercation had spread as Jericho and Chrisrian came with steel chairs, fended off Hall and HHH and aided fellow Red Brooder Edge to get up. 

Well, Heyman's a new assistant. We've got new IC Champs. D-Generation X is still going around attacking the world. What will happen next? The next chapter will destroy you...and the rest of the world. Why? The title Shane Extreme will stop progressing, and now, I've got a new title to continue this storyline under. 

What is it? You'll find out soon enough. But, just so you know, it will continue this saga with _Chapter 10: Now You've Raised it too High_. 


	10. Now You've Raised it too High

**The Extreme Generation of Enemies: H5 vs. DX**   
**Chapter 10: Now You've Raised it too High**

This is the next title of the H5 Team Extreme saga, which was introduced in the writing of Shane Extreme. I originally planned to separate this into so many different things, but now, I'm bringing them all into one entry. Go back to the previous chapters and read Shane Extreme in order to figure the groups and everything. But, for those who are too lazy, I'll put it up. All the groups I am about to mention include three or more people. Note that there will be a group or two without a group name. 

H5 Team Extreme - Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Shane McMahon, Lita, Marissa Mazzola-McMahon   
D-Generation X - Ric Flair, Scott Hall, Essa Rios, Triple H, X-Pac, Dave Batista   
Red Brood - Chris Jericho, Edge, Christian   
Dudley Boyz - Bubba Ray Dudley, Spike Dudley, D-Von Dudley   
Jamie Noble, Nidia, Yoshi Tajiri   
T&A - Test, Albert, John Cena   
Three Minute Warning - Rico, Jamal, Rosey 

Now, for the workers at the Corporate Office. 

**Vince McMahon - WWE Chairman**   
Stephanie McMahon - Office Assistant   
Paul Heyman - Office Assistant   
Eric Bischoff - Office Assistant   
The Big Boss Man - Head Security Officer 

And finally...the WWE/World Champions. 

WWE Heavyweight Champion: Scott Steiner   
World Heavyweight Champion: Kane   
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit   
World Tag Team Champions: Bubba Ray and Spike (Dudley Boyz)   
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Scott Hall   
World Intercontinental Champion: Shane McMahon   
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio   
World Cruiserweight Champion: Essa Rios   
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria   
World Women's Champion: Chyna 

Oh, yeah. Who returned to the ring so far? I'll begin with those who came back before the H5 period and after the current time. 

Essa Rios   
Ron Simmons   
Shane McMahon 

And let's find out exactly who came out after the H5 started. Note that two returned at Mania as part of the revived D-Generation X. 

Chyna   
Ken Shamrock   
Scott Hall   
X-Pac 

Oh, yeah. Those terminated between now and "now". 

Chief Morley   
B² 

Now, can I get going, please? 

Monday, March 31st, 2002   
Oakland Arena in Oakland, CA 

11:28 AM: This time, I'm starting in the office. Vince McMahon, Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff leave Vince's daughter Stephanie in the office because she's got some thinking to do while they address D-Generation X. The Big Boss Man is watching out for her along with a security squad as an assignment from the chairman. The only problem is this: DX sneaked up and operated behind them. How? Stick around. 

"Hey, Boss Man," Triple H came with the rest of the DX members. "I see you've got your security turned up." 

"Back off, Triple H," The Big Boss Man warned. "I'm on strict orders to protect Steph while the others are gone." 

"Well, that hits me," HHH said. "Can I talk to her for a second?" 

"No!" Boss Man yelled. 

"I've got this," HHH threatened, taking his sledgehammer out of his jeans pocket. 

"And I've got my stick," Boss Man fired back. Yes, he had his night stick in his right hand, and he stuck it up at The Game. 

"Sorry," HHH said. He had to hit Boss Man with the sledgehammer, and now, his partners won a fight with the guards and ended uip going through with the security team's head chief bloodied on the ground. 

"Hey, Steph," HHH was walking over to her. 

She noticed DX and tried to run. She ended up in a corner. 

"I'd like for you to do something for me," HHH said. He was speaking in a calm and cocky tone of voice. 

"What?" Steph asked. 

"Put Lita in as many intergender matches as you can until Backlash!" HHH yelled. 

"But that's against the rules!" Steph complained. "My dad made it official that no-one can be placed in an intergender one-on-one except for the Women's Champions, and Lita does not hold either one of these two titles-AAH!" The Game grabbed her neck. 

"You don't work for Vince anymore," HHH said coldly choking her. "Now, you work for me." 

"Why are you doing this?" Steph choked through and out. 

"Because the H5 Team Extreme has been getting on my nerves, and I'm going to strike them in any way possible!" HHH yelled. Steph was now scared. 

"All right, I'll do it!" Steph gave in. That's when the sicko lets go of her. 

"Good," HHH smirked. "Now, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put you and the office in deep trouble." He and the rest of DX ran off, knowing someone was to catch them if they did not act fast. 

Meanwhile, across the hall, just barely outside the office, Matt Hardy was conversing with WWE Office Assistant Paul Heyman. They were not walking, just Matt sitting on a table and Heyman standing. 

"Exactly what are you saying, Paul?" Matt asked. "I mean, I have Mattitude, but if I were in your place, I wouldn't say I groomed those guys. I'd just say that I was the boss of them for those moments and that it was time for me to have a boss for once." 

"Listen," Paul disagreed. "I did groom RVD, the Dudleyz, and everyone else I mentioned. I groomed everyone who ever worked for me in ECW. Everyone who worked for me in the old Alliance. EVERYONE, I TELL YOU! I groomed them all! Even Brock Lesnar and The Big Show, who were my clients! What do I mean, you want to say? I gave them the directions that led them to success! Now, how's that?" Now, they started walking towards the path of the office. 

"You see why those people want to beat you up so bad?" Matt retried at his side of the story. "You may be a manipulative genius, but you brag about grooming them as though you were their king and they had to listen to you, and that was not the case." 

When they went into the office, they saw Stephanie grabbing her throat desperately needing help, the security team of officers knocked out and Boss Man bleeding. 

"What happened!?" Paul yelled. "What the hell happened!? Matt, I know your friends weren't in on this!" 

"I know I wasn't, and I don't think they'd do something like that," Matt cleared his name. 

"D...X," Steph croaked. 

"What!?" the ex-agent yelled. "I couldn't exactly hear you!" 

"D...Generation...X!" she repeated. Then, she fainted. 

"Mr. McMahon!" Heyman yelled desperately at the top of his lungs. 

Vince and Bischoff were heading back to the office, wondering why D-Generation X had locked the door without answering. Suddenly, they see the damage done to security just before they get in.. 

"Oh, my god!" Vince shrieked in surprise. "What happened?" 

"She was trying to say something about D-Generation X," Matt explained. "And that's when she fainted. She was holding on to her neck in pain." 

"Something was done to Stephanie?" Bischoff asked. 

"Come inside," Heyman answered. Once they saw, they were terrified. Steph was clearly unconscious. 

"Wait until later," Vince suggested. "When she gets up. Then, we ask her what happened." 

"Wasn't she telling you about DX before she fainted?" Bischoff asked. 

"They're probably behind all of this," Vince said. You could tell he was angry by the tone of his voice. "We'll have to visit them. AND THAT'S AN ORDER!" 

"But wait anyway," Matt re-suggested. "They could well say they didn't do anything. Let's wait." 

"Good idea," Vince responded. 

4:12 PM: We go outside near the D-Generation X locker room. 

"I'm runnin' out of air time AGAIN!" D'Lo Brown yelled. 

"So, you're going to ask DX for help?" his tag partner Chris Nowinski asked. 

"Triple H," D'Lo said. With that, he went into the room and saw Triple H smiling evilly. 

"H," he called _when_ he saw him. 

"Well, if it isn't D'Lo Brown, the former CPA who needs air time on the shows," HHH said. 

"That's me," D'Lo clarified. 

"Well, you've come to the right place," HHH said. "It's guys like Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy and Shane McMahon who have been stealing your air time. I'm talking about the H5 Team Extreme. Now, if you join our cause against them, you'll get plenty of time. If there's anything that D-Generation X" 

"Thanks," D'Lo acknowledged. 

"One more thing: if you don't do well this week, you're out." 

"Represent, bro. And as for the rest of WWE: YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE THAT THE D-GENERATION HAS TURNED UP SOME HEAT!" 

In the meantime... 

In the office, Matt brought Jeff, Shane, Lita and Marissa into the office. 

"That guy knocked me out cold with a sledgehammer. I stayed up for a while and saw red all over before blacking out after the shot," Boss Man said. 

"And that's when he and the rest of them got past the rest of the guards, and he choked me into having you, Lita, go into intergender matches," Steph said. "I had to give up and bend the rule for my life." 

"What!?" Matt yelled. 

"You couldn't!" Lita joined in. 

"Matt, she was going to be killed!" Heyman yelled. "You idiot! If she did get choked to death, her WWE fans were going to sue us for sure! And she means a lot to the boss, right, boss?" 

"Well, Lita means a lot to us!" Matt yelled before Vince could say anything. 

"You loser! The women will have less positions at office when Stephanie retires, and if she dies first, it'll be worse because all women-" 

"You're a man and you care about women's rights?" Shane asked. 

"Well, who are men supposed to love?" Heyman asked back. 

"Gee, I never thought of it that way-HOLD ON A SECOND! What if Lita can never wrestle again!?" Matt yelled. "You wouldn't place her against Show, would you?" 

"At least she'd be alive!" Steph yelled. "And I'd possibly be dead out of breath!" 

"Look, Steph," Jeff said. "I feel sorry for you, but you can't put Lita's health in danger like this. If she gets her back broken like Shawn Michaels, then how is she ever going to be the Fireshell again? Explain how Shawn is the Showstopper?" 

"Maybe it's because I can!" Shawn Michaels said from behind the door. Then, he quickly ran off. They looked for a while and saw nothing. Assuming the correct answer as to what happened, they decided to get back in the conversation. 

"For once, I have to go with friends rather than family," Shane said. 

"Fine," Matt gave in. "But we better not let this keep up for long." 

"Who's he and the friends?" Vince asked. 

"Triple H and D-Generation X!" Stephanie yelled at the top of her lungs. "I hate them so much that I could tear them apart!" 

"We'll announce 1-month suspension on DX," Bischoff suggested. 

"But before that...we'll let them have their wish only this once," Steph added. "But we'll also have another match. Matt, you're going to be teaming up with Jeff and Shane against Dave Batista. You all can be in the ring at the same time. Tell those psychopaths that this is the punishment." 

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation, but may I please be allowed to talk to you, Mr. McMahon?" Nowinski asked coming in the door. 

"What!?" Vince yelled impatiently. 

"It's D'Lo Brown," Nowinski informed. "He's joined D-Generation X at least for this week." 

"Oh, criminy!" Shane yelled so loud even the Hardy couple at Cameron could hear it. Well, not really, but he yelled the loudest he could. 

"Matt, since you're here, I'd like to tell Mr. McMahon that I wish to team with you against X-Pac and that double-crossing partner of mine, D'Lo Brown," Nowinski said. 

"Deal," Vince put it into the blueprint. "Matt, if you're okay with it, you're out of your match so you can participate in this new one brought up." 

"Cool," Matt said nonchalantly. I don't think he knew the seriousness of this matter yet. 

"And one more thing: BOTH MATCHES WILL BE NO INTERFERENCE LADDER MATCHES!" 

"Ladder match?" Nowinski asked. "At least there's no hardcore or interference involved. I'm in." 

"You need to prepare," Lita said. "So do I." 

"Right," Jeff agreed. 

"Well, let's go," Matt said. 

"Problem?" Bubba Ray Dudley asked coming in. 

"DX," Matt answered. "We're solving that problem tonight, though." 

"Was that for no reason?" Shane asked. 

"Just wanted to know," Bubba explained. "We've got our own match to worry about. The Red Brood knows how to be annoying." 

"I see what you mean," Shane agreed. "Just this past Thursday, Christian called us elective idiots." 

"Hilarious, but I'm not laughing," Bubba said. "You don't get it." That's when he leaves. 

"We better go," Matt said to the rest of the H5. 

"Right," Lita agreed. "We better go. Of course, how can we possibly let rust get in if we want to take down ego and evil?" 

"You mean D'Lo and evil," Nowinski corrected. 

"Well, since you're my partner, how'd you like to be one of us, tonight?" Matt proposed. 

"Thanks, but no thanks," Nowinski rejected. 

"For a guy who comes from-" Shane was about to say something, but Marissa cupped his mouth so he couldn't continue. 

9:12 PM, during RAW: Lita's entrance comes out. It's her turn to compete. Sporting her old red bra and beltless pants (once again, PANTS!!! Don't ask for the IE!), Matt Hardy's girlfriend is coming out her usual energetic self. But that's when she hears Essa Rios's old entrance and sees him come out in that same outfit in which he had turned on her in a match against Mattitude himself before Mattitude even was. If there was any rivalry, it was renewed after the coming of DX. 

To begin, Lita came up to Rios and started insulting him, and that's when he suddenly pushes her to the ground, and she gets up and starts mouthing him again. Then, he immediately gives her a shot to the midsection, and then, it's powerbomb time. Suddenly, as he gets to the top rope in a corner, Billy Kidman comes from behind and taps him on the right shoulder! That's when Rios drops the attack and decides to come after Kidman, who chases him to the top of the ramp and back. Rios is led right into a hurracanrana from the second rope, the performer of that move being Lita! She got the cover, 1, 2, he barely kicked out! Man! If Rios got upset, imagine how laughable and absolutely angered that would make D-Generation X! Triple H wouldn't hesitate to do something about it, even if the only thing he could do was kick Rios out of the team! And if that happened...I don't want to say. Anyhow, Lita gave Rios a dropkick to his head as he was in the middle of getting up, and several quick leg drops, almost like D'Lo's Shaky Shakies except there was no special hand motion. That's when the Danger at the Door entrance (renamed The Real Deal on Anthology) shot around, and D'Lo Brown came out in a DX shirt over his same old wrestling outfit. Rios took advantage by grabbing a steel chair. That's when refeee Timmy White comes to Rios and is too busy taking the weapon to notice D'Lo run into the ring and give Lita a Sky High Induction. He turns around just as D'Lo is done with Matt's girlfriend. Suddenly, Matt and Shane come around and ambush D'Lo. Ejecting the three of them, White notices Rios on top of Lita and gets in the cover, 1, 2, 3. The sick victor hesitates before getting off of her, because he remembered the two of them being in this position before. The ref had made it official that Rios had won, and his entrance was on. Suddenly, before he knew it, it was replaced by that of Boss Man! Night stick in his right hand, microphone in his left. 

"Stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP!" Boss Man yelled. "Referee Timmy White, Essa Rios lost before even getting the pinfall! You looked at D'Lo and saw him do something! You probably didn't know what it was, but he had given Lita a Sky High Induction! If that was what you needed to rise and shine on before calling the DQ before it was too late, now you know. The match is turned over, and Lita wins! Plus, D-Generation X already did something maniacal like this before acquiring D'Lo earlier today! Watch!" 

Footage of the office invasion made by D-Generation X was shown all over the Titantron. The thing is, the fans immediately began to boo. 

"As an official decree from Mr. McMahon, D-Generation X was to be suspended for one full month! But, to give them a break, the suspension will be waived as of Monday, April 14th! Plus, one more thing. I'm no longer going to be called The Big Boss Man. As of now, I am to be known as Raymond "Boss" Traylor. It's more appropriate for a security guard." Then, he drops the mic and leaves. 

10:04 PM: The D-Generation X entrance shows up, and D'Lo Brown comes in his wrestling outfit along with X-Pac in his old black-and-green X tanktop and long tights. The Mattitude connection entrance shows up later, and the crowd is reawakened by Matt Hardy and Chris Nowinski. Matt in his purple/green H3 necklace design shirt and Mattitude pants, and Nowinski in his Harvard short tights. 

The match begins with Matt and D'Lo, who have a lot of animosity at this point of time. Remember, Matt doesn't take kindly to his girlfriend being given a Sky High Induction. Immediately, D'Lo ducks and gives Matt the Induction. How can it work right in the beginning of the match? Charles Robertson thought it wouldn't, and he was barely right. Matt had kicked out, and Nowinski came down with an elbow on D'Lo right after Matt had...of course! Kicked out! At that point, Matt was able to punch D'Lo a few times before irishwhipping him and giving him a hurracanrana. Of course, he went for the cover, and before it could react 2, X-Pac was already in the ring, ready to elbow Matt off. But, the kid with Mattitude came off, and the old 1-2-3 Kid ended up hitting D'Lo! Matt got up before X-Pac and he was able to give him a dropkick. The old nWo Syxx had to regroup outside the ring. D'Lo tried hard to get up, but to no avail, thanks to a legdrop off the top rope from the only Harvardian in WWE history. Matt then picked him up. After a Twist of Fate, he got the cover, but X-Pac posed a problem. He came into the ring, distracted Robertson, and that's when Matt let go of the cover, for it was countless. But instead of D'Lo and a Sky High, he turned around to Batista, who had rushed in and now is giving the kid with Mattitude a Super Seat (remember, I named that) Powerbomb! Screaming the words that it was time for him to go into action against Matt's friends, Batista then dragged Nowinski into the ring and gave him the Super Seat! Flair in his suit was outside cheering the giant phenom! Robertson was afraid to call the DQ, so he left that match alone. In cases in which a referee does not end a match before starting the next, Vince's rule is that that same match which was not ended will be restarted on the next available night. In that case, it'll be SmackDown in Sacramento. 

Suddenly, we hear these words... 

"Here comes the money!" And that's when Shane, back in his old Money Talks entrance, comes out in the outfit you see him in in the intro to SmackDown. Jeff comes with him sporting...well, white tanktop and black NC pants. Batista wears those same old red/bronzish gold tights. and knee pads. Well, for one thing, X-Pac and D'Lo dragged Matt up the ramp like a rag doll, but they completely disregard the fact that Marissa is waiting at the top. Of course, she doesn't look too happy. The thing is, she slaps X-Pac and runs off into the backstage draperies. X-Pac and D'Lo drop Matt and chase her down. But, the thing is, she had that one all orchestrated. Proof was that X-Pac had ran right into a Thai Roundhouse from Ken Shamrock! He was clearcold out! Meanwhile, in the ring, Jeff and Shane unsuccessfully head after Batista, getting double clotheslined. Picking Shane up, Batista immediately takes a page out of Al Snow's book by using the trapping headbutt technique. Jeff gets up and tries to execute a twisting body attack on him, but Batista catches him and throws him into the crowd. The obvious World Intercontinental Champion gives Batista a low blow behind the referee's back! Shane knew he was taking a chance, but the thing is, they actually cheered for him because Batista was not the fan-favorite character, unlike Jacqueline on that groin kick at Mania. You should know. 

_Apparently, they want me to do anything to beat DX,_ Shane thought, _because they're not booing. In fact, they keep cheering for me. Unbelievable._

That was apparently right. Although Triple H was smirking the whole time inside the DX locker room, something certainly seemed fishy. As Lita and Marissa were watching inside of the H5 Team Extreme women's room, Victoria ambushed them, and they were hurt. Badly. Anyhow, in the ring, Batista then decided to take a page from The Big Show and give those two losers-to-him a double chokeslam. 

Backstage, The Big Show was fuming in his own room for the sole purpose of reestablishing proper ownership to the chokeslam. Now, he was headed to the ring. Batista had already gotten the cover and won the match on Jeff, and Flair was leaving ahead of him to make sure, it was that Big Show whose theme came up, and he was completely decimating Flair and Batista. Never use The Big Show's move without his authorization. New precaution learned by DX. Show even used a steel chair to bloody Flair! 

But, in the Extreme women's room (again) is where Victoria, now with the aid of Steven Richards, was orchestrating a successful assault on Lita. Richards had netted Marissa in a closet. Lita was not going to be able to compete until the same date in which DX's suspension was waived. 

10:29 PM: Now, they were all back in the Extreme men's room. Well, at least Shane and the Hardys. Anyhow, Shane and Jeff were sleeping on their branded beds after being knocked out, and that's when Raymond came in and told Matt that he had found Lita on the ground in the Extreme women's room. Once the two of them reached there... 

"Oh, no," Matt panicked. "Lita, what happened?" 

"DX has got a new member," Lita said in a frail, slow voice. 

"What!?" Raymond asked. 

"Victoria came and jumped us as we were watching the match," Lita continued. "And then, Steven Richards helped her by locking Marissa in the closet. And that's when Triple H came over and grinned that evil grin." She then fainted. 

"Lita, no!" Matt yelled. He didn't want Lita to be sent to bed like this. But it had been done. Thanks to DX. 

_I never wanted to think this, but I swear on the universe that this is going to end with me and the H5 on top,_ he thought. _I'll stake my life on it._

"I'm thinking D-Generation X is out to get you," Raymond concluded. 

"What's that thought in for?" Matt asked. 

"Simple," Raymond explained. "See how they've been acting against you guys for the past few weeks?" 

Well, let's just say Shane and Jeff awoke and found out about Victoria and Steven Richards ambushing Victoria and began to get mad. Matt understood how they felt, but it was time to be rational and reasonable in this world of ours. World Wrestling Entertainment has been corrupted by D-Generation X once again. If the H5 Team Extreme is not enough, then DX may be worse than the old WCW nWo someday! All I know is the H5 is determined to put a stop to that. 

Well, the next chapter is _Chapter 11: Help in a Time of Need_. Thank God! Testify! Hallelujah! 

How many of those am I going to think of? Oh, well! Please read and review (as always). See you later! 

P.S. Talk about dream combinations. Triple H, Dave Batista and Victoria...only PART of the same team, especially when it's the new D-Generation X? Insanity rather than Vinsanity. That is a nightmare combination. Batista is raging, and Victoria and HHH are evil. 


	11. Help in a Time of Need

**The Extreme Generation of Enemies: H5 vs. DX**   
**Chapter 11: Help in a Time of Need**

I'm going to have to use something that I hate: profanity. 

Thursday, April 3rd, 2003   
ARCO Arena in Sacramento, CA 

9:32 AM: The H5 Team Extreme was awake, of course. Now, Marissa peeked out the D-Generation X locker room in hope that the conclusion was that Victoria and Steven Richards were just falling sick and that they did not truly join D-Generation X. Sorry, guys. Looks like Richards was wearing a DX shirt with his short nametights while talking to Triple H, who wore a DX shirt of his own with jeans. The thing is, Victoria had a light green fitness top and light green tights with her name on the back. Marissa quickly ran. 

"Who's there?" HHH asked. 

"No idea, but I suspect it's one of the H5," Victoria answered. Already figured out this stuff, eh, witch? 

"Bye," Richards surprisingly uttered. 

"What?" Flair asked in the suit. 

"I'm finding out who did it," Richards explained. 

Meanwhile, Marissa's already back in the H5 room. 

"Bad news," Marissa reported. "They are in DX. At least for the moment." 

"That's bad, all right," Matt said. 

"You have Mattitude," Lita said. "Do something about it." 

"Not even a guy with Mattitude can take care of this easily," Matt unwillingly admitted with a sigh. 

"Scared?" Shane asked. 

"No, it's just that we're outnumbered," Matt said. 

"Valid point," a voice came. Shannon Moore came in with his usual trick design pants and boots. What was he wearing along with that? Let's just say it was a black shirt with white MF on the front with a red outline, and pale blue text on the back in Jokerman font saying that 

VROOM-A-ZOOM SHANNON   
IS MOORE THAN HERE. 

"Cool," Matt said. "I see you've upgrded the memo a little bit." 

"Well, look who's talking," Shannon said. He suddenly gave Matt an unexpected fast chop. 

"What was that for?" Shane asked, sticking up for his buddy. 

"You put me into a match with Brock Lesnar, remember?" Shannon distorted to his old leader. 

"Oh, yeah," Matt remembered. "Sorry about that, kid. Just needed a little eye backup, and you were the only one I could find." 

"But that's not completely why I came here," Shannon said. "I talked to Shawn, and he said he was going to get The American Dragon and an old friend of his up against DX in order to help us. And besides, I'm joining in on this little ride of yours." 

"You're joining us?" Jeff asked. "You mean, as a member of the H5?" 

"But that means we'll have to become the H6." 

"Not likely," Shannon corrected Marissa. "You can't really wrestle in matches, Marissa. Thing is, us **5** can." 

"Oh, yeah." 

"In the meantime, you have anything to do here?" Matt asked. 

"I said I'm j-" 

"Just kidding around, kid," Matt said, a little questioning of his former student's judgment. "Can't you take a joke?" 

"How did you expect me to know you were kidding around?" Shannon asked. 

"What's your alias to be?" Shane asked onto another topic. 

"Vroom-A-Zoom," Shannon replied. 

"Say, wouldn't it be cool if Shane and I were WWE Tag Team Champions and you and Jeff were World Tag Champs?" Matt asked. 

"Okay, you're not the only ones here," Lita cut in. 

"Oh, yeah. Your IC title, Shane." 

"Hall's got one of his own on the DX side of things, don't forget," Shane reminded him. 

"Oh, yeah," Matt said. "More artillery to use. Don't know if they will, though." 

"Let me ask you a question," someone from outside said. They turned around to see that it was Hardcore Holly in his black tights with the purple namespace, kneepads and big boots. "How do you like me now?" 

"What's the point of this?" Shane asked. 

"Mike," Hardcore said. Cousin Crash Holly stepped out in a similar outfit expect it was one of his with a red namespace. 

"Let's just say that you're teaming up with us against Flair, Rios and HHH," Crash said, looking directly at Matt. 

"What?" Matt asked, sounding a bit like Austin. 

"We asked for it," Crash said. 

"Why?" Matt asked. 

"Simple," Crash answered. "We wanted into the night." 

"Cool?" Matt asked. 

"Un," Hardcore said. 

"Oh." 

"Other than telling us about the match, is this totally pointless?" asked Lita. 

"Well, not actually," Crash said before turning to Lita. "You mind chatting with me about something?" 

"I thought I told you not to go through with it," Hardcore scolded him. 

"Bob, give me a break," Crash attempted to excuse himself, then went on with whatever he was doing. 

"What?" Lita asked, coming up to Crash. He then put his right arm around her from his right (turned around) and led her slightly outside the locker room. 

"Listen to me and listen good," Crash threatened, pinning her to a wall. "If your boyfriend can't get along with us in this match, we might as well take you away and join DX. Understood?" 

"Yeah," Lita said, gulping. 

"I heard exactly what you just said," Matt immediately came outside. "And you better not even think about abusing my girlfriend's mind like that again, Mike Holly." 

"I said we should get along, didn't I?" Crash asked. 

"By threatening her about not co-existing, you just may have given that very factor a higher possibility, Mike," Hardcore said. "Come on, kid. Let's go." 

"Idiot," Crash taunted just before he left with his cousin. 

Matt felt like going after Crash, and I wouldn't blame him. If someone pinned your girlfriend/boyfriend to a wall, threatened him/her and then called you an idiot before leaving you alone, wouldn't you feel the same? Absolutely. Especially if you're a Mattitude Follower. 

"That Crash makes me sick!" Matt yelled when he got back into the room. "I feel like kicking his-" 

"I know what you're headed to saying, and you can't," Lita stopped him in his tracks. 

Meanwhile, as the Holly Cousins are still headed for their locker room... 

Hardcore slaps the taste out of his cousin's mouth. 

"Ow!" Crash complained. "Why'd you do that?" 

"Because you don't have any respect for a kid who's got problems with the exact same group we're facing in a tag team match." 

In the office... 

"You promised no interference ladder matches, but you didn't deliver," Stephanie said, complaining to Vince. 

"Let's just say I had a little memory download trouble," Vince said. 

"Oh, brother!" Heyman yelled. "What if they get angry!?" 

"I have a plan," Vince said. "Come on." 

That's when Vince leads Steph, Heyman and Bischoff over to the H5's locker room. Head Security Officer Raymond Boss Traylor stays behind with the assigned Sacramento security force. 

When they get there... 

"Shane, I need to talk to you for a moment," Vince said. Shane was Steph's brother and Vince's son, although he wasn't corporate. Recognizing the Chairman's voice, Shane and the others turned around. 

"What?" Shane asked. 

"Come on," Vince said, his son knowing he meant into the office. 

After Shane and the others followed Vince and his others into the office... 

"What's this about?" Shane asked. 

"Before I get to my question, I'd like to apologize for forgetting to put in the ladders and ramp barrier for the match," Vince said. "Because of that, it had to be a regular match. I'm sorry." 

"Don't worry about it," Shane said. "I forgot about that as well." 

"Who didn't?" Matt asked. 

"Me," Steph said. 

"Why didn't you warn us?" Vince asked. 

"Let's just say I wasn't going to risk getting into more trouble with those trouble makers," Steph explained. 

"It's okay," Matt said. "I mean, why get angry over a failed match stipulation?" 

"And, as for the second thing, you use the Money Talks entrance, while I use the No Chance one, right?" Vince asked. 

"Yeah," Shane said. "So what?" 

"Let's just say I want to switch with you," Vince said. 

"What do you mean?" Shane asked. 

"Entrance music and title," Vince said. "The titantron footages are still going to be our own, fourtunately, though." 

"Good enough for me," Shane said. 

Vince got the switch ordered in. 

5:21 PM: Vince headed once again for the H5 locker room. 

"The switch has been officially made as of three minutes ago," Vince said. 

"Cool," Shane said, shaking hands with his dad. 

"Would you like to know why I did it?" Vince asked. He continued after Shane shook his head. "I'm the multi-billionaire, and I should get an entrance dealing with money." 

"I think I get the point," Shane said. 

"Well, good luck in the match." 

8:04 PM, beginning SmackDown: The show started late, and some people were beginning to think they wasted their money coming to the ARCO Arena, when they suddenly heard the Money Talks entrance start up, except it's Vince's titantron footage on there. They begin to boo, wondering why Vince would rip off his son. 

Sporting that same old suit outfit the entire day, Vince walked down the ramp, up the steel steps and into the ring. Then, he grabbed a mic from a welcoming Tony Chimel. 

"Well, you need to know something," said Vince. "It's strange why I'd come up in Shane's entrance music and my titantron footage on, right? Well, guess what: I offered him an entrance music/title switch, and that's when he accepted. And do you know why? Because I'm a multi-millionaire. Now, let's get off that to something else. The Holly Cousins and Matt Hardy versus Flair, Rios and HHH, right? Wrong. The beginning of D-Generation X's suspension from public appearance. What I mean is they can't even go as far as the top of the steel ramps. They not only choked my daughter and faithful assistant Stephanie, but they also ruthlessly attacked Lita this past Monday, the Lita massacre coming before this Monday night on RAW. The suspension will be lifted as of the date Lita gets off the disabled list, as her neck's gone bad due to excessive choking. And that exact date will be April 14th, Monday Night RAW." He left with the Money entrance on. 

In the H5 room, Victoria begins to beat on Lita again, but Matt yanks her off like a mad dog. She immediately retreats, running past HHH, whose egotistical, maniacal smile takes his feet to that very locker room. Raymond Boss Traylor manages to get there in time to hit him with the stick, once again, being careful of the guidelines. 

8:31 PM: After a match in which The Big Show defeated Booker T, we check over into the SmackDown interviewing area where Josh Mathews stands with...you know who. Version One. 

"Matt, you and Shane will be competing in a tag team match against the APA in order to determine who faces off against Bubba Ray and Spike Dudley for the World Tag Team Championships at Backlash, coming on the 20th," Josh stated. "Can I get any of your comments?" 

"I didn't know we still had a match after the cancellation of the Holly/DX one," Matt started. "Thanks for the let-in. Last time I participated in a #1 contender's match for Tag Team Championships, I won, and my partner was Shane. But you know what? On the day we competed for the Titles, that was when D-Generation X struck us. Now I know the old saying, 'Lightning never strikes twice in the same place.' But I know DX is not that kind of lightning. They are the extremely dangerous type of lightning, and no person can trust them. That's why I'm backing out of this match. Well, not exactly backing off. Come on, Shane. We need to find Shawn Michaels." Shane was the only one behind him, the othes staying at their rooms to watch for the possibility of DX going on with a room raid. 

After 2 minutes, they find a door branded HBK. They knock on the door, hearing a voice which said, "Hold on. I'm a little busy." 

After 17.96 seconds, that same voice said, "Come on in." 

"What's this about?" Shane asked outside the door. 

"Trust me," Matt assured him. "This'll work." Then, he opens the door and sees Shawn Michaels in his red Hearts long tights from Armageddon 2002. 

"He-hey, Matt," Michaels greeted, sitting on a wooden bench. "I see you're still wearing that old-un outfit. What's with the business shirt and pants, Shane?" 

"Let's just say I decided to wear this before a match I'll be in," Shane said. 

"Shawn, I need to ask a favor of you," Matt said, walking over to him, Shane following close behind. 

"What?" Michaels asked, standing up. 

"Now, now, guys, calm down, I don't want to see any of this," Shane said, assuming there was going to be a fight. 

"Shane, I'm sorry," Matt said, turning back to his friend before continuing with Michaels. "Shawn, can you be my tag team partner tonight against the APA?" 

"I knew I'd get one of these requests," Michaels said. "But if I accept, I'm not going for any tag team championships." 

"I'll ask Mr. McMahon to lay that stipulation off and let the APA have the #1 Contenderships," Matt said. 

The three of them reach the office. 

"Can we speak to Mr. McMahon, please?" Matt asked Raymond, standing at the door with the rest of the guards. 

"Why are Shane and _Shawn_ behind you?" Raymond asked. What outfit was he wearing? Exactly the one he was before. 

"You'll find out," Matt said. 

"I can trust you," Raymond said, letting Matt, Shane and Michaels pass. 

"Mr. McMahon, am I glad to see you," Matt said as he came in. Vince was talking with the assistants. 

"I'm in the middle of something, try to go as fast as you can," Vince hurried him. 

"I'm dropping Shane as my partner for the night, I'm letting the APA have the #1 Contender spots regardless of the outcome of the match." 

"And Shawn's going to be Shane's replacement, right?" Vince asked. 

"Yeah," Michaels clarified. 

"Okay, but there's something risky going on," Vince said. 

"It would be riskier if I didn't do this, because last time, it was Shane and I who won a #1 Contender's match for Tag Team Titles and got ambushed by D-Generation X when it was time to compete for the titles," Matt said. 

Suddenly, a steel chair shot is heard, and when they look back, they see Shane knocked out, and even further behind is a steel chair painted in green. On the area under the seat of the chair resides the text in black... 

OH, YOU DIDN'T   
KNOW? YO ASS   
BETTER CALL   
SOMEBODY! 

-BGJA 

"Who the heck is BGJA?" Matt asked, seeing this text. 

"I think I have an idea..." Steph verbally thought. "I'll tell you later if I get it." 

"Thanks," Matt said. They left. 

"Oh, uh, by the way," Vince stalled them. "You're next." 

Matt and Michaels left the Corporate Office with Shane inside. 

"Oh, uh, take care of Shane until he gets up, okay?" Matt asked. 

"Sure," Steph said. "After all, I am his sister." 

That's when my two favorite characters left. 

8:35 PM: The APA Protection entrance music pops up and out come Ron Simmons and Bradshaw in familiar outfits. Both are wearing their regular boots, armbands and APA gloves. Simmons comes out in the long star tights and Bradshaw comes out in the APA long tights. They don't do any showoff motions: they only walk down the ramp, up the steel steps to the left and into the ring. They just look at the top of the ramp, awaiting their opponents. They hear the Sexy Boy entrance, and out come Matt and Michaels, accompanied by Lita. You know Matt and Michaels' outfits, now let me tell Lita's. She's wearing a pink fitness top and pink beltless pants. Being celebrative as usual, the three of them keep on walking down the ramp. The thing is, when they reached the halfway point down the steel ramp of SmackDown, Shawn did what I call the Sexy Boy Mini-Split, while Matt, right behind him, showed the Mattitude sign with both hands raised high. Lita hung her arms around Matt's neck. Don't worry, he wasn't choked. Once that pose was over, they continued walking down, and that's when that pose was repeated once they got into the ring. Matt whispered in Lita's ear that she should get herself out of danger because he wanted her to be able to get back into action. The APA got back into the ring, as they watched from outside. 

The fans cheered for Matt and Michaels and booed the APA, something that rarely happens. Matt started things off squaring on Simmons, who absolutely overpowered him. Matt came away with a few punches, but the irishwhip turned everything around, as Simmons countered it and welcomed Matt's return from the ropes with a powerful clothesline, knocking him down. Simmons had the inner decency to let Matt get up before running at him with another clothesline. Inner decency? What am I saying!? That was all Ron's plan! 

In the office... 

"That quote on the chair!" Shane burst, back in conscience. "If it's who I think it is, we're talking about-" 

"Calm down!" Vince yelled. 

"But I know who hit me from that quote, and his initials are BGJA, just like the paper said," Shane stated. 

"Don't worry," Steph said. "I just figured it out myself. But we can't let them know we know who they are. Triple H may use that to come up with some sort of scheme against you again." 

Behind the door, Triple H was spying. He heard everything. 

He came in and laughed so loud they thought he had the funniest joke in the world. 

"You know who it is?" HHH asked. "Well, then. Take a guess." 

"The-" 

"NO!" Steph yelled, cutting Shane off. 

"Come on," HHH coaxed dangerously walking towards them. "Who is it?" 

Suddenly, Jeff came from behind and put his right hands on the Game's left shoulder. Turning to the left, HHH sees Jeff and unsuccessfully runs after him. Jeff is wearing his white no-sleever and black North Carolinian pants. HHH is wearing the same thing he wore this morning. The younger, faster, more phenomenal Hardy Brother outspeeds HHH into an exhaustion so high that he has to walk to the H5 locker room to get his hands on him. The thing is, he walked right into a steel chair shot from Marissa. This time, she wore a white shirt with those pants. 

Back in the ring, Simmons gave Matt a shot to the midsection, and then he went for the Dominatior Powerbomb, but Matt flipped out of it and walked straight into the Faarooq Spinebuster. The Showstopper never got into the ring. Instead of pinning Matt, Simmons tagged in Bradshaw to get his chance at punishing Version One. Bradshaw then grabbed Matt's hair and picked it up to his belly. That's when the big butt-kicking Texan gives Matt's head several punches. Then, he throws the hair down. Picking him up by hair and pants, Bradshaw turns him around and gives him a standing clothesline. In that regard, he comes to Simmons and whispers in his ear to go after Michaels. That they both do as Simmons gets into the ring and shoves the ref. Bringing the HBK into the ring, Simmons and Bradshaw absolutely destroy Michaels. That's when Bradshaw rolls Michaels out of the ring and tells Simmons to stop, as Matt is back up. Simmons gets back to the apron corner. Matt tried to punch away, but Bradshaw countered with an irishwhip, and he moved out of the way of Matt's return from the ropes, only to run and return and welcome Matt's second return with a Clothesline from Hell, a word I only use as a nightmarious location. When it's used as profanity, that's when I hate it. The thing is, Matt ducked out and made a third return, Bradshaw's back still turned from the failed clothesline. Matt fires a front dropkick, hanging Bradshaw onto the ropes. The 6'6", 290-pounder immediately gets up. Matt yells out Shawn's first name, and Bradshaw's going after him. Recognizing the Clothesline from Hell, Matt punches Bradshaw in the belly, then goes to his corner and tags in the HBK! Michaels then jumps over the top rope into the ring, and right now, he gives Bradshaw a bulldog and is constantly knocking Simmons and Bradshaw down with clotheslines as Simmons got in. When he delivers some Sweet Chin Music to Simmons, he walks back into a Clothesline from Hell. Matt then jumps onto the top rope and gives Bradshaw a missile dropkick. Bradshaw gets up, but is delivered a punch to the belly, three shots to the midsection and a Twist of Fate! Matt gets the cover in this hectic situation, and it's 1, 2, 3! Instead of his own theme, however, comes the old Brood theme. Jericho, Edge and Christian looking for trouble. Edge wearing his blue long tights and his Edgehead shirt, Jericho wearing his pinkish/black namebrand pants and Huge Rock Stars shirt and Christian wearing his black tanktop and black pants with the golden Christian design. They each came with a mic. 

Walking over to the ring, ready to disrespect a kid with Mattitude. 

"Matt, I cannot believe we ever wasted time battling you or your brother in the past," Christian said. "And besides, we're wasting time talking to you." 

"Your brother Jeff is an idiot," Edge kept with the criticism. "He thinks he's the god of amazement. The god of entertainment. And you think you're the god of ego. You're lucky you and Shane each have girls of your own, or we'd call you something Chris knows." 

"What I know is that your 'little buddy' Jeff Hardy is a loveless, lifeless LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Jericho yelled, smirking confidently again. 

Shannon Moore's entrance bursts up, and he comes out in his same old outfit from the morning. He stops halfway down the ramp. 

"Who are you to talk about gods or Jeff?" Shannon demanded. He had a mic of his own. 

"And who in the world are you?" Jericho asked. Matt took the mic. 

"He is Shannon Moore, the most successful student of the Team Extreme and the original Mattitude Follower," Matt answered for Shannon. Shannon does the Mattitude V1 sign except that the middle finger is held back rather than the ring finger. That form of the Mattitude sign is called the Follower's signal...at least for now. "And as for my brother-" 

"You wouldn't know how jealous he was of you if you were told by Saint Nick!" 

"Who are you to talk about Santa Claus when Christmas was four months ago, Christian?" Shannon asked. "You're probably still angry about the a cream present Santa gave you on the 16th. And besides, Jeff Hardy is like a brother to all five of us on the team. Sure, he may not have either of the girls in the H5 Team Extreme, and I may not, but we don't complain. Suddenly, what looks like another green steel chair hits Shannon from the back of his left boot, and he's knocked down. He gets a concussion. The source and the chair duck under the ramp and escape cameras. 

"Whatever that was, I don't care, but your student is stupid," Edge said. "And besides, the a** cream was clearly not Santa's gift. That was the golden idiot weirdo whom I face in action tonight. And he'll know why I reek with awesomeness." 

"You reek with stupidity!" Matt yelled. That's when the Red Brood beats him up. Shane and Jeff come to Matt's rescue as the Red Brood departs, and Shane takes one of the three dropped microphones. 

"Crash! Come out now! It's time for our match!" Shane yelled, as he now had on his Shane Cold 3:16 shirt rather than the plain button shirt. Black pants: still had 'em. Crash comes out accompanied by Hardcore. Now, Crash begins to fight, but that's when Shane irishwhips him, and fearing something bad about to happen, Crash hangs on to the top rope and goes over it and leaves. Due to exit cowardice, Shane wins. 

Who hit Shane and Shannon with green steel chairs? Find out in _Chapter 12: Identity Revealed_. 

P.S. Can I get more reviews? 


	12. Identity Revealed

**The Extreme Generation of Enemies: H5 vs. DX**   
**Chapter 12: Identity Revealed**

Someone's going to be a little angry of lost romance here. Note that as of now, no actional course shall be changed by what's going on in the WWE right now. The Red Brood, however, was a combination of that, the past, and a list of someone's SBCs. Hmmm..... 

Plus, there will be an adjustment made to my flashback system. When someone's thinking a flashback into past time, the text will be italic. When they're actually speaking a flashback, an italic quotation mark will begin it and an italic quotation mark will end it. Plus, the text will also be italic. Regular thoughts will also be italic with no quotation marks at the walls, but they will not take up a whole paragraph as a regular flashback does unless otherwise specified. 

Monday, April 7th, 2003   
LA Sports Arena in Los Angeles, CA 

One of the barely used places in California, the LA Sports Arena, is being paid a visit be WWE RAW tonight. Meanwhile... 

10:54 AM: Matt is just looking around for anything that may give him a clue as to who the person was who hit his best friend and former student with a steel chair the color of light green. He walks past the D-Generation X locker room, which was closed, but he suddenly realized that the DX colors were black, white and light green. Meaning, they might let the cat out of the bag to one another about the man with the green steel chairs, let alone why they were attacking the H5 like this. He poked out his ear and attached himself to a wall, careful not to make a peep, because then they can detect spies. 

Inside... 

Rios was sitting face down, growling to himself. 

"I think you're fed up with Matt Hardy," HHH said. 

"Look, kid," Flair said. "I know how you feel, but I need to know why you're so vengeful. I mean, they didn't exist as the H5 back then. And I know something's got to be up with the past." 

"RIC!" Rios yelled. After a moment, he calmed down. "I'll tell you everything." 

_"It all happened in two to three years ago when The Godfather and I were teaming up against Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn. The thing is, that very night, before the match, I was partying with Godfather and his ladies. Because of the ladies, however, when Lita came to see our little feast, she thought I was attracted to them. After all, she was my girlfriend, and she had reason to be worried. But the thing is, in match time, she absolutely screwed me out of a victory! That was a Monday Night RAW. Then came SmackDown. Lita, who appeared to have gotten over it, acompanied me to the ring, as I had a match against Matt, whom, unfortunately, had Jeff into the ring. The thing is, once, Lita wanted to infiltrate Matt's path as I irishwhipped him, and that's when something plenty evil happened. Matt countered the irishwhip, but Lita didn't care to get out of the way. Instead, I was the victim of a back distraction which led to a Twist of Fate, resulting in a victory for him. That's when I realized she was no longer on my side. I blew a fuse. How could she do this to me!? Screw me in two matches on the major televised shows of the Federation in the exact same week? Now, something had to be done indeed. I pulled out a wrath of vengeance on her, and she immediately should have known not to try me like that. The thing is, those stupid North Carolinian idiots had to get in the way and save her! I was fed up with the ugliness now! Then, came the next RAW. It was me, and it was Lita. We were squaring off. No, not in a bed or in anything pleasurable. In a one-on-one match in the squared circle. The bad thing is, I WAS BEAT!!! Soon after, Vince took me out into a training camp because, as he said, without Lita, I wasn't going to be able to form any storylines around due to what was then my lack of english. At the OVW camps, I had no success! Then, in late 2001, it became too late, and I WAS RELEASED!_

"This is why I want their end. I want to terminate them all! Shane and Marissa joined them, now they are the enemy as well. THEY MUST ALL BE DESTROYED!" 

"There's the aggression I was talking about," HHH said. "I wanted to get that out of you, because I knew something would spark up in you after a few rages against those guys. You're ready to cause any sorts of annihilation possible. Once we're actually done with them, we'll move on." 

"I have a plan," Flair said. 

"A plan?" Matt wondered out loud outside. 

"Huh!? Who's there!?" Richards screamed out, and Batista went to investigate. Matt was running toward the Extreme men's room, and for once, Lita and Marissa did not come in to talk to the men. 

"HARDY!" Batista screamed out. He can easily make you listen to the Dave, Matt. You better run and lock your door. Before he could do that, Batista ran to the door and kicked it open as Matt, Jeff, Shane and Shannon attempt an assault on the big 6'6", 325-pound monstrosity that is Batista. It's unsuccessful, and he even performed the Super Seat Powerbomb on Matt and Shannon, onto their beds! Broken bed and broken back! However will they sleep!? Well, actually, yesterday, he asked to rename it, the Listen to the Dave. That's when Flair came in and with a green steel chair attacked Jeff brutally, and Shane got it any time he tried to get into the way. 

Lita had just tried to come in and Batista choked her until she was running out of breath! Marissa was threatened back to their own room by the steel chair, which was swinging toward her but stopped when she stalled from her road to the H5 men's room. 

Flair and Batista are satisfied with their work. 

3:21 PM: Now being attended to inside the medical attendance room, the H5 Team Extreme was in an actually frustrated mood and in a no-good condition to fight. 

"That was Flair," Jeff said under his breath. He was bleeding heavily from the forehead. Shane...30% as much. Lita now was no longer gasping for air, but could not turn around. Looks like it would probably be even later than next week for her to get back. Matt and Shannon had broken backs. Now, this is a little severe, right? 

"Huh?" asked Matt faintedly. 

"The steel chair," Shane said. "That was Ric Flair with the steel chair! He was hittting us with it!" 

In the DX room, Rios could do nothing but laugh as Flair and Batista told the rest of the group. 

"Another one of those ruthless attacks in their current condition and they may well be in the hospital rather than an MA room!" the angry Mexican from Tijuana laughed. "HEE HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" 

"They didn't recognize DX was tough," D'Lo said. "They paid for it." 

"The game will be over for them soon," HHH said. 

Now, ALL of DX was laughing, Flair the loudest. Why, I don't know. Well, actually, I do know, but keep reading and you'll find out. 

"If this happened to them all the time, they wouldn't be here today!" Vince McMahon yelled as he came in. 

That broke their laughter. 

"What was the meaning of this!?" the Chairman yelled. 

"Let's just say we've got two reasons," Flair said. "First, because Matt happened to spy on out business. Second...let me come out and address the people tonight, and you'll see." 

"You're under a public suspension!" Vince yelled. 

"Trust me on this one, Vince," Flair said. "You'll see what I mean." 

"Fine," Vince said after a long moment of unpleasant thought. "But on four conditions: you will get the first part of the night, I will not warn you of the time, if you are late, you are skipped, and you cannot harm anyone else before you get to come out!" 

"Deal," the Dirtiest Player in the Game smirked. 

"Careful for 9," Vince pouted leaving. 

"Ric, what's this about?" HHH asked. 

"Don't worry about it, H," Flair said. "I've got it all taken care of. Meanwhile, why don't you guys order some pizza? I'll be waiting here." 

"I'll do it," said Victoria, leaving. The others waited there, knowing she was following Flair's order. Meanwhile, just outside, little does D-Generation X know, the Dudley Boyz have been scheming up a counterplan, as Vince McMahon told Reverend D-Von Dudley to do something about the man named Ric Flair whom he promised an entry break. Now, the three were in the locker room. 

"You know something, D-Von? We'll beat Flair to the ring and testify against DX," Bubba Ray suggested. "They won't be able to do anything about it. They're supended, remember?" 

In the office... 

"We want to face the Dudley Boyz," Edge said. He was with Chris Jericho and Christian. Vince was there with Raymond and the assistants. 

"Can't," Vince said. "D-Von has to do something. Say, if you want, two of you can face Bubba and Spike." 

"Me and Edge against those two, titles on the line," Christian said. 

"Earn your title shot," Vince said. 

"We want one now," Edge said. 

"You're very unagreeable," Vince said. "I suggest you understand that this will be a Triple Threat Elimination between you two, the Hard...no, the Hollys and Bubba and Spike." 

"Let's just say it's a deal." 

And let's just say word got out to the Hollys and the Dudley Boyz, and the next thing you know, D-Von had to end up going alone. 

8:58 PM: The Testify entrance came up, and D-Von, sporting gray/dark/white Dudleyville navy pants and the Testify shirt along with his 3D revamped boots, underwent long cheers. When he got into the ring, he showed the 3D sign, asked for a mic from the Fink and absolutely answered the call to arms. 

"I have several things to state. I, Reverend D-Von Dudley, the Reverend of Dudleyville, (cheers) have absolutely nothing to lose. (cheers) The people that do are D-Generation X. You see, they've done something very horrible to the H5 Team Extreme just today." 

Footage was shown of the Flair/Batista attack on the H5 Team Extreme. The fans' response was a strongly offended. 

"Those two you see here are Ric Flair and my former deacon, Dave Batista. Flair and Batista are two of the members of this evil clan called DX. There is a sign I used to taunt on Billy & Chuck, and it is the ____ it sign! Created and originated by Triple H, the sole three-time member of D-Generation X! And it's not nice! Let me warn you-" 

WHOO! 

Ric Flair's entrance popped up, and out came the Nature Boy in his suit with a mic in hand. Staying at the top of the ramp... 

"Who told you to interrupt the only time I've got for the whole week?" Flair asked. 

"You tried to end a life!" D-Von yelled. "No, six!" 

"You tried to accuse me of being a sinner while you cannot judge a person by one action," Flair said. "Now get!" 

An attack on the Nature Boy wouldn't work, because he knows every trick in the book. Understanding such a thing, D-Von stayed in the ring. 

"Okay, I'll tell you! The entire night (what) last week on SmackDown, (what) I've been dealing negotiations (what) for someone to join D-Generation X (what) and we made negotiations! (what) I could smell disciplinary action from what we did last Monday night, (what) so I told the person not to sign until SmackDown was over. Because he signed after the disciplinary actions, (what) he's not under the public suspension we're all under. And with the DX contract (what) came a free membership into WWE! D-Von Dudley, (what) ladies and gentlemen, (what) I'd like to introduce you to the real steel chair shooter! (what) The initials BGJA stood for Brian Gerald James Armstrong, you idiots! (what) And the man with that name is known as (what) The Road Dogg! I've outsmarted Vince McMahon once again!" 

The New Age Outlaws entrance music with a Road Dogg pyro showed on, and out came the man himself. Boos filled the crowd, for he was Degenerate. 

"Oh, D-Von! Don't tell me. You didn't know I was coming back to town? Well, now that I'm here, I'm gonna show you why you better CALL SOMEBODY!" In the meantime, Matt was behind him, and he used a steel chair of his own against the actual shooter! The Road Dogg got a piece of his own medicine! The Version 1 shirt worn by Matt with the Mattitude pants was quickly pulled back in before Flair could do hurt to the back. Why? Shane McMahon in the silver pants and Shane Cold shirt come to save his friend in need of rescue. 

Flair suspected something, and he was running back there to find out who did it. He found Shane running with Matt, chased him and ran straight into a Bubba/Spike 3D! 

Speaking of Bubba Ray and Spike, here's how the World Tag Team Championship match went down. 

One member from all three teams was going to be down there. Since this is no H5 match, and there IS no H5 match tonight because of the evil bodily harm caused by DX, I'm not going too far here. I'm only going to give the last few seconds. 

Both Holly Cousins, Bubba Ray Dudley and Christian were eliminated. 

Spike Dudley came up before Edge and dragged his head towards the turnbuckle for the Dudley Dog Career, when suddenly, Edge counters it into a sideslam and flips Spike over for the Edgelock. Spike is forced to tap, and the new World Tag Team Champions are Edge and Christian. 

11:12 PM, after RAW: Vince can't believe the audacity of Ric Flair's words. 

"Outsmarted Vince McMahon, huh? We'll see about that..." 

That we will in _Chapter 13: Just Bring It!_

DON'T STOP THE FEEDBACK! 


	13. Just Bring It!

**The Extreme Generation of Enemies: H5 vs. DX**   
**Chapter 13: Just Bring It!**

A new Championship outlook is coming next chapter. 

Thursday, April 10th, 2003   
Staples Center in Los Angeles, CA 

Well, the home of the Los Angeles Clippers and Lakers is occupied here for a show of SmackDown. 

2:15 PM: The H5 Team Extreme members are just walking along, and they see no person until they come past Shawn Michaels. That's when Shawn turns back and calls them. 

"Hey, H5!" he yells. They turn back and see who they just passed. 

"What do you need?" Matt asked. 

"Actually, it's what you need," Michaels said. 

"What do you mean?" Jeff asked. 

"What I mean is D-Generation X," Shawn said. "You need to clear them, right?" 

"What's it to you?" Matt asked. 

"It's everything to me," Shawn said. "It's everything to me! I'd do anything to get back at Triple H for what he did to me about 8 months ago!" 

"You mean when he crippled you at Summerslam?" Matt asked. 

"Obviously," Shawn said. "Why do you think I want to beat him so badly? Anyway, I have got an excellent idea!" 

"What do you mean?" Matt asked. 

"I'm bringing in two of my best." That was the word of the HBK. 

"What do you mean?" Jeff asked. 

"We are what he means," a familiar voice said, and from behind came The American Dragon and the perpetrator of the voice, Kevin Nash! 

"Dragon and Nash?" Shane asked. 

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "The American Dragon, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash! The Showstoppers are here and now!" 

Meanwhile, in the DX locker room... 

"Listen, Victoria," is what Triple H heard from a male voice outside. "You can't stay with Steven anymore. You know it deep in you that you don't even like him. He never did anything for you except oppose the same twosome. Stacy Keibler and Test. Why do you waste your time with him? I mean, your unit wasn't caused by anything of yours. The Testicle Cannon got into you." 

"You know what?" a female voice said. "You're right. Steven never did anything for me. He only came to me by twist of fate, forgive my H5 terminology." 

"Steven, you're dumped," HHH told him. "Get out of here." 

"What?!" Richards yelled all over the place. The other members were wondering just what wa going on. 

"Come on in, guys," HHH said. 

In came Raven in biker jacket and flannel skirt with Victoria in short cut jeans and a DX shirt. 

"Sorry, Steven," Victoria said. "You are truly worth nothing to me. Our relationship was just dark fate. OUT!" 

"Arrgh! I'll get you for this!" he yelled leaving. 

"But Victoria, I"m not trying to get in a relationship with you, to be perfectly honest," Raven said. "You should know that by now. I wanted into this team because I felt from the knowledge of my incompleted masterpiece that I can come up with some devious schemes." 

"Who cares if you don't want me and I don't want you?" Victoria asked. "I certainly don't. The only thing that matters is yo're a better fit here than he'll ever be." 

"Well, Raven, welcome to D-Generation X!" the Nature Boy greeted. 

"Trust me," someone said from behind. It was The Road Dogg, coming into the DX locker room for the first time since it was unformed about one to two years ago. "We'll need him." 

In the Corp. Office... 

"That Flair will not outwit me," Vince said. "Since he thinks he's done the job, I think we better introduce him to the surprise." 

"That's for certain," Raymond said. "A kid doen't say he outwitted his boss, even if he's double to triple the age of what you would call a kid." 

"That's undisputed," Heyman said. 

"Say, where are Steph and Eric at this time of day?" Vince asked. "Are they still trying to find the Red Brood and the Dudleyz?" 

Speaking of which, that's exactly what the other two office assistants were doing. 

Stephanie just reached the Red Brood locker room. 

"Finally, I find you," she smirked when she walked in. 

"Exactly what are you doing here?" the self-proclaimed King of the World questioned. 

"Telling you that if you come into the ring at eight o'clock, you're going to get a special surprise," Steph answered the question of the arrogant Jericho. 

"Really?" Christian asked. "Now what could that be?" 

"You'll see, guys," Steph assured them. "You'll see." With that, she left. 

Meanwhile, Eric Bischoff just left the Dudleyz' room to say the exact same thing except it was going to be 8:10. 

When they got back to the office... 

"Paul, go over to the H5 Team Extreme's room and tell them that the Hardy Brothers will team with The Undertaker against Raven, The Road Dogg and The Big Show," Vince ordered. 

"Certainly," Heyman said, though after a while, he was stunned. _Matt Hardy in the ring against The Big Show? That kid'll get decimated out there! Oh, well. At least I know this is a tag team match._

Back at the H5 locker room... 

"So, he wants to destroy us just because of that?" Lita asked. "He should honestly know it was his fault for hanging out with Godfather's ladies in the first place, and then attacking me...once again, in the first place." 

"The egomaniacal ways of a degenerate man caused him to be so angry," Jeff said. 

"Since when did you become Mister Wise One?" Matt asked in a mockery of Jeff. 

"So, tell us, o wise one, who's going to help us out?" Marissa joked. 

"I think I have a very good idea," Shane said. "I just talked to Ken and he told me he was introducing a tag partner back here tonight. I asked if maybe he snd the partner would like to help us out, and he said the partner had huge issues to deal with several DX members, and that most likely, the day we ask again, they'll help us out." 

"Ha ha ha," Matt said. "I see, good old Shane-O's cookin' up a good plan." 

"Well, let's just tell the world," Shane said. 

"Do you realize I have been standing here for the past 5 seconds?" Heyman asked, who had just gotten in...well, 5 seconds ago. 

They turned around. 

"Well, now that I've finally got your attention," Heyman shouted, "I'm here to tell you that tonight will be a match teaming you Hardys and The Undertaker against Raven, The Road Dogg and The Big Show." 

"Raven?" Matt asked. 

"Steven Richards complained about being replaced by Raven and dumped when it comes to DX and Victoria," Heyman said. 

"This is going to be a long day," Matt groaned. 

"The Big Show!?" Lita jumped. "You don't even stand a chance!" 

"Oh, uh, one more thing," Vince shot out of nowhere. "You're coming out in Taker's entrance. Come on, Paul. We need to go inform the Dead Man himself." 

"Sure," said Heyman as he left. "Oh, uh, get over it." 

"What did he mean?" Jeff asked. 

"I thought you were supposed to be the wise one," Lita pranked. 

"That was just one simple explanation," Jeff complained. "What's with you guys?" 

They all laughed. 

After about 23 minutes of joking and playing and laughter... 

"Guys, guys, guys, SHUT UP!!!" The Undertaker yelled from outside. "I hear you're teaming with me in a 6-man Triple Threat. Oh, uh, you better not screw it, because the Heavyweight level competitor among the winning team goes on to face Steiner for the WWE Heavyweight Title. Screw up and there'll be some serious hell to pay around here." 

"Hey, Taker, give it a break," Matt said. "That mean attitude isn't going to win you that well. Oh, I hear we have to come out in your entrance." 

"Huh?" Taker asked. "I already know that!" 

"Oh, you do?" Matt was surprised. "Well, I guess we could face off against John Cena." Laughing again, he made Taker sick. 

"SHUT UP!" Taker yelled. 

They did as he said, afraid of getting hurt. 

Meanwhile, both the Red Brood and the Dudley Boyz were promised some special surprises for the night if they came out at scheduled times which would take the place of nights. But the thing is, even after good discussion with one another, the two groups were still left clueless as to why. The Red Brood had a perfect clue as to who was not going to have anything to do with it though, as Trish Stratus came into their room and slapped Edge before he thought of talking to the Dudleyz, whom somehow they found out were also having a special surprise immediately after their own. Other than that, they were left 100% clueless. Just as clueless as the Hardy Brothers were left about why the heck they had to come out with Taker in his entrance. Of course, all those questiond and more would be answered later tonight... 

7:59 PM, beginning SmackDown: The Red Brood came out in the old Brood entrance once used by "Gangrel" David Heath. That's when Steph's theme, All Grown Up, popped out and she came out in the same suit she always wears. The thing is, she had a mic in her hand. Her words are as quoted: 

"Well, yesterday, I had a little private discussion with a specific someone who talked to me about setting you up right here. We know there's never been a woman in either the Old Brood or the New Brood of the old days. Nor has there been a fourth member, and both had included Gangrel, who doesn't even work here anymore. The Red Brood made something new. The thing is, there is no vampy boy, there are three blond Canadian men, and the only mystery here is, guys, who's coming in. Well, let's just say that before I give you the only clue that you barely even need, I'll give you their new entrance music without any pyro to tell you who they are." 

Suddenly, the old Over the Edge music that the Red Brood now uses to come out when two are going to be in tag team matches popped up. 

"What is this?" Christian asked with the Red Brood's mic. "A memory show?" 

"No," Steph answered. "Now, let me clue you in on the most special surprise in the history of this company's link with the word brood. Allow me to introduce to you a blond Canadian woman who comes from the same city as Edge and Christian, the only fourth member and woman in the history of any WWF/WWE Broods...TRISH STRATUS!!!" 

What!?!? Trish!?!? How was this possible!?!? 

The thing is, it was hard to believe, but true indeed. Trish Stratus was joining the Red Brood. She had come out with a revamped version of her pyro which fit in with the Over the Edge entrance theme. Of course, this was not going to be good. At least that's what they thought. Just how could this be? How could Trish join them after slapping Edge? It just didn't make sense! Edge was wearing that Edgehead shirt of his along with his blue long tights, Christian was wearing the black outfit (tanktop and tights) with the golden design and Jericho wore his pink/black vest and pants with his name on them in that same font as that on the Tron. Trish was wearing that cut-sleeve shirt and red-lined Stratusfaction pants. Main color of both: black. But then again, remember that the boots were not lost as they never are. 

"Edge, I think you should know something," she started on a mic. "Now, I know you're confused, as well as your friends here, but I think you need to know something. Have any idea why I slapped you before joining?" 

"No. Not at all." Edge had taken the team's mic from Christian. 

"Can you lift me up on your shoulder?" she asked. That Edge did, confused as to why. She managed to hold on to the mic and continue with her right leg on Edge's left shoulder. 

"You need to know something. I don't know if I should say this here, now and in this point of time in which the main thing going on is H5 vs. DX, but...there's this thing I need to tell you, but..." 

"Go on," Christian persuaded her, as Edge had given him their mic back to in order to do the task Trish asked him to do. "What's on your mind?" 

"Put me down, please," Trish said, apparently thinking better. Edge did as she asked, although with a _little bit_ of a thud. 

"What is it you need to tell me?" Edge asked, back with the mic. "I know you wouldn't get yourself into so much trouble just for me to lift you up and put you down." 

"You're the reason I'm joining this team," she then got out before going into tears. Jericho had to come over and embrace her before she could fall to the ground. "I can't say what I mean." 

"I think I know exactly what you really want to say," Edge responded. "And you don't have to. Not on this stage, not at this time." 

The old Gangrel in the Brood entrance went up as the Red Brood, with now four members, now left. 

8:12 PM: The new Dudleyville entrance came up after a few missiles falling down. Out came Bubba Ray (torn sleeve vest, dark red/black/white Dudley shorts), D-Von (Testify shirt, purple/green/white Dudley long tights) and Spike (Pound 4 Pound shirt, light yellow/brown Dudley tights) with their trademark boots of the 3D and Dudleyville glasses. 

That's when the I'm Back entrance sounded and out came the jeerable genius Eric Bischoff in black shirt, black jacket and blue jeans to go with his shoes. Blowing kisses at the fans as he went through, Bischoff made his way to the ring. 

"Now, Dudleyz, I must say I'm quite impressed with the way you're going," Bischoff said. "After all, you're the ones who got destroyed a few months ago by Three Minute Warning, Jericho and Christian. But then again, that was a few months ago, so I shouldn't be surprised. Anyway, I think I've done enough blabbering, and it's about time I get to business here. So, please welcome the brand spanking new Dutchess of Dudleyville, Stacy Keibler!" 

The one with legs then stepped out in her Dudley Boyz top and red/black/white Dudley short skirt and boots with the Legs _theme_. I don't know why, but the Dudleyz were not overworldly marveled by her beauty. Maybe it's because Bubba threw her through a table. Maybe it's because she screwed Spike. Or maybe it's because they've all been used to her without having actual crushes on her. Any of the three ways, she did that same 'love the middle rope' pose and entered the ring. She then got Bischoff's mic and started talking. 

"Now, let me get something straight about why I've decided to become, once again, the Dutchess of Dudleyville," Stacy said on a mic. "The whole world should know that I do not have a crush on Spike Dudley, whom, I will admit, I am taller than. But that's not really the point of this whole thing. I don't have a crush on any of you Dudleyz, but the thing is, why screw an opportunity to be something that you've been and liked a lot? And to me, the mark of Dutchess of Dudleyville is exactly that. I loved it without loving you guys. Oh, uh, Spike, you're new to being in Dudleyville _with_ me, as in when I'm also there. So I suggest you take some advice from your brothers if you expect us to get along extremely well. Oh, uh, one more thing. Since I'm here again, I think a change is in order. As of now, we are the Heads of Dudleyville! Featuring the Dudley Boyz and Stacy Keibler!" 

The new Dudleyville entrance popped again and the...well, Heads of Dudleyville retreated to the locker room in a positive mood. 

8:18 PM: The Money Talks entrance popped and Vince McMahon had his time to remove himself from the inner calms of backstage with his businessman's suit. 

"I think I came out here for an urgent matter," Vince said. "Ever since WrestleMania, the H5 Team Extreme have had life made hard for them. No, it's not because of corporal punishment for absolutely no reason at all. It's because of D-Generation X. Despite their public suspension until the next coming RAW, they have continued their screwball actions by acquiring two members who eluded the suspension because they joined after it came. The thing is, I'll have to keep in Raven and The Road Dogg, because the suspension ends soon, anyway. But the problem is, the H5 didn't show up this past RAW because of a DX assault during the day. Which is why I've decided to take extreme measures. D-Generation X deserves for the Corporate Office to be a hazard to them, because they're a hazard to the rest of the Superstars. Triple H, if you guys are going to be danger, I'll treat you like danger! Just like I did Eric Bischoff when he got out of control! So, here's how we'll operate with you. I checked the stash yesterday, and I was looking for something until I finally found it. The original World Wrestling Federation Light Heavyweight Championship, which will replace your belt, Essa Rios, as the World Cruiserweight Championship! Oh, uh, one more thing, Rios...you don't get that title back with the returning belt. It will be vacated and put on the line in a match. And the two superstars will be...Billy Kidman and Shannon Moore!" 

The Money Talks entrance popped again (remember, Vince and Shane switched music and title [that may be about to change]) as Vince left. 

8:25 PM: We hear The Undertaker's entrance (no, not You're Gonna Pay, I'm talking about the one that set it up) for probably the first time in a long time. The Hardys came out first, and disrespect was the first thought, so they booed. Quickly take it back they did, however, when Taker showed out on his motorcycle. Wearing the black Dead Man Inc. outfit (sleeveless shirt and pants), Taker rode on the bike to the ring. Matt wore the V1 shirt and greenish NC pants and Jeff wore the shirt with his pic and black NC pants. The Hardys ran to keep in pace. Doing their usual showoff tricks at the corners of the second ropes, the Hardys waited for Taker to dismount from the bike, come up to the center of the ring and raise his hands. Before he lowered them, however, Raven's entrance popped up and he and The Road Dogg both came out. Raven in the short tights and Road Dogg in a Clean and Jerk DX shirt and his supportive long tights and boots for it. Once they got in, The Big Show's entrance popped up, and he, accompanied by Bill DeMott, wore that same black wrestling outfit along with those big boots of his. DeMott wore his wrestling outfit and a Get the 'F' Out shirt. 

The match began with Matt and Raven. Remember, it was Raven whom 10 months ago had given the Hardys problems before being banned from RAW. Which ended, of course. Anyhow, it began with a few words being exchanged from each side of the coin. Raven then pushed Matt, knocking him down. Raven tried picking Matt up by the head but got a punch to the gut in the process. Once that happened, Matt got right back up and handed Raven a neck breaker. Raven got up assisted by Matt, who picked up his head and just punched him on the chin, knocking him down again. Matt went for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Matt then ran to the ropes and back towards Raven's gaining head, giving him a dropkick to stop his rise and knock him right back down to the world kingdom. Matt went for another cover, but Raven reversed it into a cover of his own, grabbing Matt's pants. Referee Brian Hebner caught him and didn't count. He instead counted for Raven's disqualification. 1, 2, 3, then he let go. Like an idiot, he thought it was an unhanded win. When Matt got up, however, he was celebrating right into a Twist of Fate! Matt tried to get in the cover. 1, 2, Road Dogg broke it up. Road Dogg then dragged Raven over to their corner to tag in The Big Show. 

Show personally made it upon himself to destroy Matt. The first thing he did was hold him by the hair and give him several punches to the back. The next thing he did was give Matt a lethal headbutt. Sorry this happened. Anyhow, he continued with a grab of the face. He used it to throw Matt out of the ring. He then distracted the referee and DeMott got in a powerbomb to the covert concrete. Jeff took care of "Bully Demented" Bill DeMott with that guardrail crossover flying clothesline all over again. However, that motion walked him right into a pull of the hair, a violent pull into the ring and a chokeslam, all at the mercy of The Big Show. The Undertaker, however, decided to come into the ring and end Show's little rampage by handing him a vicious kick to the gut. The big fat weakness that is the 500-pound hairy gut was hurt seriously on that one. It's miraculous that Taker managed to get in a Last Ride Powerbomb. Took a lot, though. How's everything happening so quickly? Road Dogg got in and handed Taker the Shake, Rattle and Roll. Then, Matt was up and as Road Dogg was strutting along, he got into the ring, turned Dogg around and fired in a Twisting Side Effect! Was that strong enough to mark as a second finisher or what? Don't ask. I'm going crazy... 

Anyhow, that didn't really end the show, because Raven got back up and handed Matt the Raven Effect. But what was up was that Raven may have been the last man standing, but Brian Hebner recalled that Ravn was not the legal man because he had gotten tagged in by Show. Angry at the concept because he was in no condition to have known at the time how the heck Show was in there instead of him and the match was still going, Raven pushed the referee and got pushed right back. Suddenly, Bill DeMott rushed into the ring and yelled at Hebner to count Raven in. The thing is, DeMott wasn't going to accept the legal man statement for an answer. When Hebner declined, he gave the referee a powerbomb and set him up for the No Laughing Matter Moonsault. But Jeff, having gotten back up and seen all of this, hit DeMott in the back with a steel chair! DeMott ended up getting the Eye of the Hurricane from The Hurricane, whom in his supersuit, rushed to the ejection of the bully. Problem is, Show got up and gave Jeff another chokeslam. But it wasn't just any chokeslam. He had gotten Jeff and Hurricane with a double chokeslam! I should end this now, there's much more here. All right. So now, Taker was back up. He gave Show a huge punch to the gut, lifted the big man's head, put Show's right arm on his own right shoulder and struggled with a lot of his might to get the 500-pound monster with a Chokeslam from Hell. Problem was, Matt just got back up, but so did Hebner. Although he was knocked out and forgot what DeMott had done, he remembered that the legal men were Matt and Show and that DeMott and Hurricane weren't even scheduled to be in this match. He then got a mic and asked Vince to send Raymond to get them out so they didn't slice things out of control. 

Ray came out and carried Bill and Hurricane back to the locker room area. Then, they got up and started bickering. Vince ordered them to their rooms before a coming suspension. They did as ordered. Meanwhile, all six men were back up and ready to compete. Destroying the world was easy, but saving it was tough. As if that statement was ever important. HA! Thing is, Matt really was in a foul mood. Why? The three chokeslams to his younger brother. Matt let his feelings of pain for his brother get to his head and quickly rushed to attack Show. He was going relentlessly at the gut and when he finally knocked down the second biggest man in wrestling history, he lifted the head and tried to go for a Twist of Fate. But that's when Show immediately got up, ripped Matt's hands off of him and set him up for the huge chokeslam. He then cleared Jeff and Taker and covered Matt. 1, 2, 3. Your winners...Raven, The Road Dogg and The Big Show. I hate this... 

8:39 PM: Ken Shamrock had his entrance up. He came in a dark red Just Bring It sleeveless shirt with the Just Bring It written in silver and a pair od dark red leather pants with silver airbrush painting going vertically on the sides. Do I have to tell everyone they're always going to be wearing boots or business heels? And can't you guys have common sense to figure out which one? Anyhow, they cheered for him. 

When he got into the ring and took a mic... 

"I think D-Generation X is going under a little short circuit as of now. You should know that the reason I just came out here was to announce to you that I have a new tag team, and I have a new tag team partner. And I'll only give you one clue: Team Bring It!" 

If ya smell what The Rock is cookin'! 

What was that!? The Rock!? No one would believe he'd be back now! What the heck was the Team Bring It agenda here!? Ken did say DX was running on a short circuit, didn't he? This obviously means another Rock/HHH feud is coming up! Anyhow, getting into the ring with those same double-lined-on-each-side black pants (white lines) and black Just Bring It shirt in white text. He had a mic of his own. 

"Finally, The Rock has come back to the Staples Center! And finally, The Rock has come back to the WWE, and with a purpose, no doubt about it! You see, I've seen DX in action after my movies were over and my break was being taken, and they're just as sick as before! Could it be Triple H? Or The Road Dogg? Or X-Pac? It doesn't matter which one's responsible for this! What does matter is this: that we drive DX rock bottom, drive them through Jabroni Avenue across Know Your Role Boulevard all the way through to SmackDown Hotel into Room Bring It and when they wake up and come alive, lay the smackdown on all their candy a**es! Triple H, you think I started making movies to prove that I was turning tail because you've beaten me several times in our careers? Well, guess what: I've beaten you several times as well! And if you have the guts to try to beat me again, I dare you to go up at bat at Is Cookin' Staduim, face The Rock, anticipate the pitch of The Rock and just bring it!" 

The Sexy Boy entrance hits and out come Michaels, Dragon and Nash. Michaels in an black and white HBK shirt and black jeans, Dragon in the American version of the Ultimo outfit and Nash in regular blue jeans and a black and red nWo shirt. 

Michaels took a mic and started talking... 

"Welcome back, Rock! The thing is, your work is truly admirable. And you're not a demented sicko like those degenerate beings called DX! So, I have a proposition for you. Us Showstoppers with you two and the H5's actual wrestlable members against DX at Backlash! How do you like that idea!?" 

"Well, Shawn, I have to say a few things first," Rock responded on his mic. "First of all, we need for them to know what we're proposing. Second of all, who the heck is that kid?" 

"My old student, The American Dragon," Michaels said. 

"All right, now that I know, another thing. Kevin Nash, what are you doing with that nWo short-sleever all over your back?" asked Rock. 

"Let's just say that was the old Wolfpac if you ever watched WCW," Nash said, having taken Shawn's mic. "And if you want to ask what I'm doing back with Shawn, let's just say he is to me as Shane is to Matt." 

"I see you're getting into analogies, right?" Rock asked. "Well, let's just say you're referring to best friend." 

A connection started. No, not a connection to the Internet alone. A connection to Mattitude.com! The entrance of the connection itself came up as the H5 Team Extreme comes out. I don't know if I mentioned outfits, but let me go on. Matt and Jeff in the same fit they had before. Shannon in white trick design (as I call them) pants with the "trick" lines being red ALONG WITH the MF Vroom-A-Zoom shirt. Lita in a pink sleeveless shirt and black pants with a pink belt. Marissa in the cyan shirt with the reddish mark and black pants. After coming into the ring, it was Shane who was to speak. After all, the Hardys were still very worn out from the 6-man tag earlier tonight. But their separate attitudes stand as live for the moment, so they decided to come anyway. Speaking of live for the moment, I think I'll have to change what I call those other entrances from now on. 

"Okay, guys," Shane began. "We hear you're coming up with some kind of good proposition. Well, guess what: I can record the bad things of DX. They screwed me and Matt out of the Tag Team titles, attempted to give Lita the Listen to the Dave, ruined our celebration of this belt (referring to the Intercontinental title on his left shoulder), tried to choke my sister to death, attacked me and Shannon with a green steel chair, bragged to have outwitted my dad, the boss, and brutally assaulted us in the locker room! Now, as much as I want to destroy them, we have to wait until they say yes for this to happen." 

Suddenly, Raven's entrance popped up, and he came alone in the black skirt back into his outfit. 

"Cut the music!" he yelled. "Now, we just heard the challenge, and I asked Triple H what we would do about it. And do you know what he said? Bring it on! In fact, he's so confident of our ability to win that he'll let you put any stipulation into the match which would go against us!" His entrance came again and he left. The team of 10 (actually, 11) was left standing in the ring. 

8:47 PM: Shannon Moore's entrance theme came up on the warnings...don't ask what the heck I'm meaning by that. It's a figure of speech, and you should know which words to either replace or alter. The outfit he wore a few minutes ago coming out is the same one he's wearing now. The 'Speed Limit of 100' sign as he renamed it was being shown all over the world. Kidman had his entrance played as he stepped out with gray trunks with that same design outlined in white, insided as blue. Kneepads...don't even bother to ask. 

Okay, so here's how the match started. First, the two shook hands. Then, Kidman destroyed Shannon and took the Cruiserweight title. Just kidding...but they did shake hands, then circle the ring facing one another. Then, as the two were supposed to begin with a grapple, Shannon ducked under and kicked his left foot back, tripping Kidman from behind his right. The thing is, Kidman fell down on top of Shannon's knee, which made things a bit hard for the original Mattitude Follower. Shannon kicked Kidman off and got up in a way which made it seem that he had lost his balance on recovery. Anyhow, he came down on Kidman for the cover, 1, 2, kickout. Christian then destroyed the world...just kidding. Heh heh. Once they got up, Shannon ran right into three arm drags in a row, and then into a gordbuster and a powerslam, all coming from Kidman. The former WWE Cruiserweight Champion is looking forward to picking his spot and reaching back for the World version of that exact title, but he'll have to go through a former rival. That he's doing pretty well right now as he waited for Shannon to get up and gave him a missile dropkick. He then went for the cover again. 1, 2, kickout. He then picked Shannon up by the head and gave him a scoop slam and an elbow drop once on the ground. He then went for the cover again. 1, 2, kickout. Now, Shannon was getting tired of being kicked around. Kidman tried to pick him up again, but he ripped his hands away. He then fired about three punches, irishwhipped Kidman and gave him a missile dropkick. He went for the cover, 1, 2, kickout. He then interrupted Kidman's rise by running to the other side of the ropes, coming back and giving his opponent a front dropkick. Going for the cover again, 1, 2, so close, but Kidman manages to kick out again! Shannon then tried picking him up, and Kidman counters with a few punches of his own. He then irishwhips Shannon to one of the turnbuckle corners. Unfortunately, Shannon counters with a boot to the face, gets up on the top rope, waits for Kidman to slouchily turn his head to him and then goes on with a Flip Launch! Shannon's on top of Kidman, but he doesn't stay there for the 3 count. Instead, he goes up to the top rope and fires a 450 Flipsplash! This time, he stays on top of his opponent, 1, 2, that's when Triple H...TRIPLE H!? He's under public suspension! What's he doing here!? The thing is, the Time to Play the Game entrance came up and Triple H, in that suit of his, distracted Shannon with that evil smile. 

Back at the Corporate Office... 

"What the hell is he doing here!?" Raymond asked, shocked. "He's suspended!" 

"Get him out, NOW!" Vince yelled. 

Raymond then left with a security squad to get Triple H out of the arena. The rules of public suspension stand as follows: you can be in the locker room, but the fans in the arena cannot see you. If they in fact do see you, you are to be carried out of the arena. That's exactly what happened to HHH, but Shannon was too distracted seeing if he wasn't going to break through to notice that Kidman was back up. Kidman turned him around and gave him a Plant Bomb. He then set him up for what is called the most beautiful move in the business...the Shooting Star Press! It connected, 1, 2, 3! Kidman was the new World Cruiserweight Champion, but unfortunately for his own respects, thanks to interference from a sicko named Triple H. He then helped Shannon up, and the two of them stepped backstage. 

Among other things...The American Dragon actually signed a WWE contract and Chyna had come out with Los Guerreros to open a new group called Latino Heat. Stay tuned for _Chapter 14: H5's Night Out_. 

Oh, uh, two more notes...Keep reviewing, and sorry for the minor "Stay tuned" chapter inconvenience. This chapter being up also marks the correction to those unedited errors. Plus, when I gave you those Madden 2003 tracks on my bio...I warned you on something that _was_ coming but is no longer. Oh, yeah. I almost forgot to mention: those of you who've already reviewed H5 vs. DX chapters 1 to 3...I mean 10 to 12, don't bother doing any review of those you've done over again. Did it before I could warn you, okay. But I keep them in a special FFN review E-mail folder I have. 

Oh, well. Until the next chapter! And Mattitude is true attitude! 


	14. H5's Night Out

**The Extreme Generation of Enemies: H5 vs. DX**   
**Chapter 14: H5's Night Out**

What's going to happen will have some off interventions, but most of what's going to be mentioned will deal with H5. Some has to do with groups like DX or Dudleyville or Latino Heat, however. 

Friday, April 11th, 2003   
Staples Center in Los Angeles, CA 

12:00 PM: All the Superstars and Divas met in the warmups room, which hasn't been used in a while because it's been out of commission due to necessary repairs. They were ordered to wait there for Vince and the others of the Office. 

"Well, guys, it's time for your break day. And as a little present, you can go out all over the town," Vince started. "You guys have been producing great TV over the past few weeks, and I applaud you for that. I completely applaud you. So, here's your chance to just enjoy. Just be normal. Be cool. Have a nice day. While you enjoy yourselves, we're going to stick around and try to get everything over into the corporate plane to set for liftoff. We should be done by 10:30, so begin your comeback route at 10:00 so you're not late, okay? Forget all about your little characteristics, your rivalries, just hang out and have a good time." 

The Superstars all agreed nodding, saying yes, in their own little way, etc. They were all wearing suits or biker's vest compatible outfits, the majority wearing suits. I believe only Matt, Jeff and Shannon wore biker's vest outfits. 

12:06 PM: Everyone knows where they're going to hang out. Bubba Ray and D-Von are going with Rob Van Dam, the H5's going together, DX is coming around, etc, etc. 

12:21 PM: The H5 Team Extreme members are just walking along in the streets of Los Angeles, California. 

"Hey, guys, care to go to a cafe or something?" Shannon asked. 

"Knock yourself out," Matt said. "While you're enjoying yourself, we'll find a place to stay the night." 

"Hey, look over there," Marissa said pointing to some kind of hotel. 

"I think we can stay there," Lita saw her point. They then walked in and check in. 

A few minutes later, Shannon gets back to where the team is...or, should I say, once was. 

He checks in as soon as he comes, and here's how those six room off. Shane and Marissa are in Room 318, Matt and Lita are in Room 317 and Jeff and Shannon are in Room 316. Speaking of that place... 

"What's with us?" Jeff asked. 

"The only ones who are in this team standing outside of relationships," Shannon explained. 

"I just figured that out," Jeff said. 

"Why'd you ask?" Shannon asked. 

"I knew you'd say what you just said," Jeff said. 

"You didn't think I was correct?" Shannon asked. 

"Did I say that?" Jeff responded. 

"Not in exact words-" 

"Which means I didn't." 

In 317... 

"Think we ought to have the others come in?" Lita asked. 

They then stepped out. Lita knocked on the 318 door, while the 316 door was knocked on by the older Hardy. 

Matt and Lita rushed inside, and Shane and Jeff, seeing each other, figured those knocks came from the middle room. They then got Marissa and Shannon and opened up. 

"Welcome to the road to Mattitude," Matt joked. 

"Absolutely wild, don't you think?" Jeff sighed. 

"Are you that opposive of my character?" Matt asked. 

"I'm having a hard time being used to it," Jeff said. 

"That's a laugh," Shane said. 

"One would think it were cool for you by now," Lita said. 

"The only reason you like it is you're his girlfriend," Jeff said. "If it were me, let me tell you, you'd order me out. Besides, didn't you ask him to drop it?" 

"That was then, this is now," Lita replied. "I don't even think bad of it that much anymore." 

"That much?" Jeff asked. 

"She means at all," Matt cut in before either of them could say anything. The thing is, on one of the non-chaptered days (Wednesday, April 2nd, 2003 to be exact), she told him that she thought Mattitude was a very good and creative concept. 

"Just shut up," Jeff said. 

"What's with you today?" Matt asked. 

"Nothing much, it's just some kind of bad mood into me," Jeff said. "Sort of stresses out, I guess." 

"That's why you don't think that good of Mattitude today?" Matt asked. 

"Mattitude is somewhat questionable, to tell you the truth, but other than that, it's really okay. Most of the criticism is from foul mood. Oh, yeah. It's not as questionable as I made it sound." 

"Huh?" Matt asked. "What's making you mad, bro?" 

"DX," Jeff said. 

"Mr. McMahon said to forget about it and have a good time, and that's what we're going to do," Lita said. 

Meanwhile, Bubba, D-Von and RVD were just hanging around in a pool hall/bar room. 

"That was off by a long shot," RVD laughed, talking about one of D-Von's shots playing a triple threat game of pool. "Dude, you need to learn how to play." 

"Will you just put that to rest?" D-Von asked. 

"Something tells me we're not the only WWE here. It's that kid over there." 

"Huh?" RVD asked. 

"You know, the one who just ordered some beer," Bubba started. 

"Why do you think that kid is one of the Superstars?" D-Von asked. 

"That voice of his sounded just like Edge's." 

"Would you get off his tail?" D-Von tried to nudge him off the topic. 

"Hey, you," Bubba called. 

"Huh?" the suspicious-looking kid in the blond hair turned around. "Hey, it's you!" 

"You know who I am, right?" Bubba asked. 

"You're Bubba Ray Dudley, and I know you too well," the blond one said with a grin. 

"You know, he's right, I think he really _is_ Edge," Rob agreed. 

"How'd you know?" Edge asked. 

"What I'd like to know is what you're doing here," D-Von demanded. 

"Uh, buying some beer for my fellow Red Brooders," Edge answered timidly, as if he was afraid of D-Von saying something. 

"Did you say beer?" D-Von asked. "You're filling yourself up with an item unclean. That is a sin." 

"Listen, Edge, what he means is, you can get crazy when you're drunk. If I know what's going on, Trish might become a victim," RVD said. 

"Hey, you shut up about Trish, okay?" Edge was getting angry. 

"There's only one each for three of you," Bubba asked curiously. 

"Don't promote him buying another one," D-Von ordered. "Besides, it'll simply fall, 'cause you can't hold two in both hands." 

"And Trish doesn't like to drink," Edge added while at the same time answering Bubba's...uh, unasked question? I don't know.. 

"With good reason, too," D-Von said. 

"We don't usually do it, but no-one's drunk beer after Austin left." 

"And for good reason. Do you see that Austin got arrested for stunning his own wife? And yes, he was drinking too much beer over his career." 

"He's out now. He just can't drink for a year." 

"That's not good for a guy like him." 

"Look, will you just leave me alone and let me out?" Edge was getting tired of this. 

"As you please," D-Von answered. He waited until Edge walked out the door before saying the word: "Sinner." 

Elsewhere, inside a house in which two men and a woman lived to serve others for $10 per person... 

"What's taking him so long?" Jericho asked in that little rockstar's suit he wore back at the 10th RAW Anniversary Special. 

"If you ask me, something probably happened-" 

"Hey, guys, I'm back," Edge said. 

"Careful with those bottles," Trish groaned as she was sitting down over at the kitchen table. She was bored and hungry, and food wasn't coming around. 

Two men lived in this place: one being security guard, one being the actual owner and mechanics/electronics chief. The owner had a wife who served as the cook. 

"You wanted some?" Christian asked. 

"No," Trish retorted. "How many times are you going to doubt what I say?" 

"Probably all the time," Edge said. 

"Yeah, I might not stop," Christian agreed until he realized what he said..."HEY!" 

Trish, Edge and Jericho laughed as Christian walked around with his hands over his head. 

"Hey, pal, relax, I was just playing!" Edge yelled. That relaxed his friend. Now, they were all laughing, like a moment ago. But this time...including the 215-pounder from Toronto. 

Back to the H5 in Room 317 (Matt and Lita's room)... 

"And the demon was inflicting pain on Terrell," Lita spoke, "sucking his blood like a vampire, choking him to the ground like an undertaker, punching him down like a ruthless being. Then, he said, 'COME OUT, LEGIONS'! And out came millions of skeletons. Some were covered in blood, some in poison, some in nothing. They were all spooky. Terrell felt like running away, but Demon Perumbo had worn him out. The boy blacked out. Perumbo looked like a changed man soon after becoming the supreme ruler of the world, though. But the day he saw Terrell, they started having a chat. Suddenly, he pushed him down underground never to be seen again and closed down all the peace-promoting programs, started by him or not." 

Matt and Jeff were sort of pale-faced. 

"Scared enough?" Shane asked. 

"Uh, no! We're not scared!" Matt quickly denied. 

"Um, we're just messing with you, that's all! Yeah!" his brother joined. 

Lita and Shane laughed. So did Marissa and Shannon. 

"Looks like the original MFer is braver than the MFer," Marissa said. "Get it? Original Mattitude Follower braver than Mattitude Founder?" 

"Hey! That wasn't funny!" Matt yelled. But Jeff had mixed opinions, so he basically said and did nothing about it, even as Matt asked him to help. 

5:29 PM: D-Generation X was walking on the streets. 

"So, you guys think we can beat 'em?" HHH asked. 

"Obviously," Road Dogg said. 

"Even if The Undertaker beat us up before that match, we'd win," Batista said. 

"That won't happen anyway, 'cause I have a contingency plan," Flair said. 

"Hey, we're supposed to be enjoyin' ourselves, not talkin' about some stupid match we know we'll win anyway!" D'Lo yelled. 

"You know what?" HHH asked. "You're absolutely right. Let us go to a bar room and celebrate three cheers for a victory at Backlash!" They stared at him. "Okay, take off the 'for a victory at Backlash' part." They all rowdily entered the bar room where Bubba Ray, D-Von and RVD...ONCE WERE. 

Latino Heat and the H5 were also walking along, but on other areas. That's when Lita and Chyna frightened each other as they almost collided. Their view of one another was obstructed by a building until they each went past it leading their groups. Then, aah! 

"Oh, it's you," Chyna said. "Well, watch where you're going." 

"Excuse me, you're the one that should," Lita responded. 

"Hey, hey, hey! Stop the clowning around, mamacitas. I can sense a fight coming, but Mr. McMahon, el señor boss, said we should enjoy ourselves today. Forget about the hatred, enjoy the day, have a good time, ese!" Eddie Guerrero cut in. 

"A fight would only cause ruin to the day and the night," Eddie's nephew Chavo Guerrero added. 

"You mean the day and the night that make April 11th, 2003?" Matt asked. 

"That's exactly what I'm talking about, ese," Chavo agreed, telling Matt he was correct. 

"Hey, you guys mind chatting with us a little?" Chyna asked. 

"You three can talk to them," Shane cut quickly. "As for us, we have a little business to discuss." 

"We're supposed to be enjoying ourselves," Matt said. "Come on, pal. Destroy me if you wish, but I'm right." 

"Ah, forget it," Eddie said nonchalantly. "Let them not talk if they don't want to talk." 

"Say, what's Mattitude?" Chavo asked. 

"Ah, it's just a dork show," Jeff shrugged it off. "Sorry, bro. I'm just a little stressful." That led to a householdful of halters and starers...all directed towards Jeff Hardy. 

"Anyway, now that my brother's done with the stupidest joke in the history of the world, I can tell you about Mattitude. All right, listen up. It's program which is teaching you to be yourself in and out of the ring. When you're a Mattitude Follower, you're raising the Mattitude sign interpreted as Version One. You see this? (shows the sign to Los Guerreros) The index and middle fingers make a V as in Version and the pinkie makes a 1. Anyway, it's that intangible which says that I'm the best and makes me never give up in the ring. Some people have Mattitude...in their own little way." 

"Hey, man, that's really cool!" Eddie burst. 

"Yeah, Matt! We want to become MFers!" Chavo joined in. 

"Really?" Matt asked. 

"Half-way," Eddie said. "I mean, Mattitude is really cool, but we can't be MFers 'cause we're already who we are." 

"Hey, that's good," Matt said. 

"Hey, guys, come on!" Shane yelled from far behind. "We've wasted 27 minutes out here! 3 more and we'll be checked out!" 

"Sorry, but we have to go," Lita said. 

"Can we come with you?" Chyna asked. 

"Sure," Matt answered. "As long as you don't call Jeff a devil." That was a laugh. "But there's no time to waste!" 

They all ran in three seconds before the checkin outer limit passed off and Latino Heat paid $42 each to get checked in. Los Guerreros and Chyna got room 315, and go back if you don't know who else in what else... 

6:10 PM: Billy Kidman, Sho Funaki and Torrie Wilson were just hanging out on the benches of a street basketball court watching two teenage boys play some hoops. 

"Man, those guys are good," Kidman said. 

"Billy, you are not joking," Funaki said. "And do you know what's even better?" 

"What?" Kidman asked. Funaki then whispered something in the ear of his friend. 

"Really? Man, that's great!" 

"What's great?" Torrie asked, wanting to be in the 'know what Funaki said' club. Funaki whispered the same into the ears of Torrie. 

"I feel happy for you, Funaki. Congratulations." 

"I think we better go back and help Mr. McMahon," Funaki said. 

"Okay," Kidman said. "Oh, uh, before we go, let me say this: the H5 vs. DX story going on right now: I like it but I don't like it. Don't ask what I mean. I'll tell you later." 

Elsewhere, D-...you don't want to know. 

An elsewhere you do want to know is the Angel City Hotel. Remember, Los Angeles is Spanish for The Angels. 

Room 317... 

"Excuse me!?" Matt yelled. Shane had just told him of something. 

"Sorry if you don't like it," Shane said. 

"Excuse me!?" Matt yelled. "I love it! Whoo! That ought to put a sock in their pants! But why'd you guys take time out of our good joyride to think that up?" 

"We're that dedicated to what we have to do at Backlash," Shane said. 

"Which won't be the topic of discussion for the rest of this out," Marissa said. 

"Huh?" Matt asked. 

"I talked to Lita, and she said we ought to go away in a restaurant and talk about...well, I don't know," Marissa continued. 

6:32 PM: They're away at a nearby Burger King, talking about this and that, etc, etc. 

"Hey, remember the day I kicked Taker in that puke?" Jeff laughed, eating his second burger. 

"You remind him of that, he'll execute you," Shane said. That cut the young Hardy's laughter. 

"Hey, Lita! You ever wondered what made this team be what it is today?" Matt asked. 

"I think I know," Lita said. "Jeff being your brother, Shane and Marissa, Shannon being your old MFer, and-" 

"Remember your part?" Matt asked. 

"What?" Lita asked a bit surprised. 

"You know, how we got into this relationship in the first place." 

"I saw you two kiss after the defeat of Dean Malenko," Shane said. 

"Yeah, that--HEY, HOW'D YOU KNOW!?!?" Matt exclaimed. 

"I was watching from backstage, duh!" Shane pointed to his head. "It's common sense, Matt. You're not demonstrating yours at all! Even Triple H saw it!" 

"Oh, god!" Lita yelled. 

"Why do you have to be so conspicuous at times?" Shannon asked. "Remember when Hurricane and I were teaming with Karagias?" 

"Hello, Shannon," The Hurricane...or should I say, Gregory Helms (the outfit, remember? He's unmasked, wearing the suit!) suddenly burst. "I see you're remembering a few days. Now why do you mention the 3 Count of old? The Hurricane was not even he. He was known as "Sugar Shane" back then. Remember that?" 

"There was no superhero, I know that," Matt said. 

"Citizen Matt, what is up with your interruption?" Helms asked. 

"Just remember, I turned on him and rejoined Karagias, and I can do that again," Shannon said. "And besides, I've seen something like this before. You know, Bruce Wayne being Batman, Terry McGinnis being the next Batman, Clark Kent being Superman, Prince Adam of Eternia being He-Man, etc, etc. I've seen this stuff before. And my only judgment is...you're another comic! You, Reporter Helms, and my old friend The Hurricane, are absolutely one and the same!" 

"That was known a long time ago, Shannon," Matt said as if that were supposed to be common sense. 

"It was?" Helms asked. 

"It was now that somebody decided to do something about it," Shannon said. "And that someone was me. Even the fans could figure this one out." 

"Guess I can only wear this on break days, then," Hurricane said. "In those comic guys' series, they aren't discovered, and I am. Well, Shannon, you might want to thank me for trying to help Matt and Jeff, who are listening, by the way." 

"You're right we are, now take that suit off," Matt ordered. 

"Hey, hey, hey! You want him to draw attention?" asked Lita. "If Jeff got on his regular outfit, there would be a bunch of girls going after him, and I'd have to dropkick one of them and undergo public custody, 'cause quite frankly, he knows not one of those ladies in the crowds. Now, can you leave?" 

"As you wish," Helms said, going right back into his own business and leaving them alone. 

"What was that all about?" Shane asked. 

"You mean you don't know?" Jeff asked. 

"Shannon was once partners with Hurricane and Evan Karagias," Matt cleared up what Jeff was talking about and what was going on between Hurricane and Shannon. 

"Boy band to tag team to egotistical crew of warriors it was," Shannon said. "We got into many troubles. I once turned on Hurricane and rejoined Karagias, who had turned on us earlier. There were those guys called the Jung Dragons that Jamie Noble was part of before he got unmasked as an American and ripped off. He and Karagias then formed a tag team after Karagias formed the absolutely meaningless version of Mattitude and turned on us. The thing is,-" 

"Anyway, where were we? Oh, yeah. You mean when the whole thing happened with Malenko? We went out on a most unpleasant date due to stipulations of a victory by him, and you guys saved me from the horrors, Hardys. Later, Perry, Dean and Eddie faced us and he forced me to tap!" 

"That's when enough was enough, right, Lita?" Matt asked with a slight smirk. 

"Absolutely. I already had you in my heart, but I didn't know what you thought of me. Until after I beat him, that is," Lita said. 

"Now you know, you can't forget it," Jeff sighed. 

"Do I sense jealousies?" Matt asked. 

"Did I sense jealousies when you turned against me when I had that match against Rob?" Jeff retorted. 

"That was the beginning of Mattitude!" Matt exclaimed in a good jump. 

"Well, it was also the end of the Hardy Boyz," Jeff said. "Now, we're just known as the Hardy Brothers, 'cause we're not the same kind of guys, you know what I mean?" 

"Absolutely, bro," Matt answered. "Absolutely." 

"You're crazy if you think I'm going to shut up," Marissa said. 

"You introduced me into the company! At least I think so..." Shane jumped. 

"Now that's a controversial memory, 'cause you don't even know if it's memory or imagination," Matt laughed. 

"Hey, thanks for the crack," Shane said. "Heh. I needed that." 

"Hey, what are best buddies for?" Matt asked. 

"Laughing and helping," Shane said. "Hey, remember Corp X?" 

"Shut up! You were with Triple H!" Lita yelled. 

"Oh, yeah." 

"Hey, guys, what's up?" Dean Malenko suddenly jumped. 

"Is that...Dean!" Lita jumped around and hugged what was Dean Malenko. Except he was wearing a brown suit. 

"What's this all about?" Matt asked. 

"Guys, this is Dean Malenko, and these are my friends in the-" 

Already, they all knew they were playing introduce yourself to someone you know, and they laughed. Lita became slightly embarassed, but she found it funny as well and then laughed it away. 

"You mean you actually liked me all this time?" Dean asked, because he saw that Lita had hugged him. 

"Nah, I just miss being completely sick of you," Lita grinned. That was a laugh. 

"Oh, yeah, I think you guys have been taking a trip down memory lane. Which I've been doing, too. Oh, and Lita...I'm sorry about making you sick back then." 

"Is that all? You're sorry?" Matt asked. "What was the meaning of this interruption? Just so you could apologize? Well, I'm glad you had the courage, Dean. That probably took a lot to apologize to her, here, after you know our relationship's gone for about two to three years now." 

"I wasn't even allowed," Dean said. "I knew I wanted to do this. I'm just a road agent and a warmup trainer. Who am I to defy Vince's assigned duties and just go on my own and apologize to you behind his back on any show days?" 

"Today's break was your chance, right?" Jeff asked. 

"Absolutely," Dean answered. "Oh, uh, Matt. I'd like to see you two kiss for old time's sake." 

"What?" Lita asked. "We're still together." 

"But you haven't kissed in a while, now have you?" Dean asked. "I feel friction...or a temper." 

"A temper is right, now leave us alone, Dean, before I'm forced to do something you won't like in here," Lita said. 

"Yeah, and I, Matt Hardy, Version One, will gladly and unquestioningly join her in this," Matt said. 

"You're lovestruck, rico loco," Dean said. 

"I am not a rico, and I am not Lieutenant Loco!" Matt yelled. 

"You ricoed me," Jeff corrected him. "And we talked to Lieutenant Loco." 

"Jeffrey Nero Hardy, did you have to say that?" Matt complained. 

"I think we need to go, it's the hotel checkin exit limit," Marissa said. "We'll be checked out if we don't get back before 30 minutes prior to our exit, or we'll be checked out and we'll have to check in again, and pay again." 

"We need to go," Matt said as the H5 got up. "Sorry, Dean, but we need to go." 

"You're absolutely right, Miss...say, who are you again? I think I've seen you before, but I don't quite remember where." 

"I'm Marissa Mazzola-McMahon, Shane's wife," Marissa said. 

"Oh, yeah," Dean said. "That wasn't wise wrestling those two matches then." 

"Don't remind me, that's why I'm just pain valet, and I don't come out that much anymore," Marissa said. 

"You can take 'that much' out," Shane said. "You haven't come back since Mania!" 

"Later, Malenko," Matt said. 

"Bye, guys," Dean returned the favor. 

The H5 left, Latino Heat having stayed in the hotel. 

"Let's not tell Lieutenant Loco that we reminded Dean who he was," Matt said. 

"I get it!" Shane exclaimed. "He might get loco!" 

That was funny, wasn't it, folks? I hope so, 'cause that was good humor. 

10:09 PM: Matt and Lita are in the outer side of Room 317. They're on the side which marks for a white table, a plastic shade roof and the ability to see the area out there. 

"Isn't it just nice?" Lita asked. "Just the two of us sitting here. No worries at all. We're just watching a city from here together." 

"Yeah, but you won't believe what Shane thought up," Matt said. "I come into D-Gener-" 

"Why did you have to interrupt the moment!?" Lita yelled. 

"Sorry, I forgot we're supposed to-" 

"HEY, GUYS! WE HAVE TO GO! IT'S PAST TEN!" Eddie burst into 317, interrupting Matt for the second straight sentence. 

"What!?" the interrupted one himself yelled. 

They were all on a desperate run to the plane. 

10:30 PM: By the WWE Corporate Plane just outside Staples, Vince was getting agitated. 

"Time's up!" he yelled. "Where are the H5 and Latino Heat!? 

"Here we are," Matt said, the nine of them panting heavily for breath. "Sorry we kept you." 

"I was just about to start the plane and leave," a pilot said. It was none other than the detestable Paul Bearer...I guess he had taken flying lessons. 

"Now get the hell in that plane!" the chairman yelled. He got in, followed by the H5 and Latino Heat. 

"Must have been on a tire trip," HHH said, laughing at the H5. 

"Shut up!" Vince yelled. "Now, anyone who starts a fight in here will be fired and dropped off the plane!" 

Okay, now I'm done. Sorry this was so uneventful. It was just a break. Well, not really. Stay tuned for _Chapter 15: Mattitude Beats HHH_, when we visit the home of The Godfather at the Las Vegas Arena in Las Vegas, NV! Keep reviewing! 

Until the next chapter: Mattitude is true attitude! 

Oh, uh, one more thing... 

Don't B² or B³. Although I have a Game³...minus the d. 

Oh, yeah, Demonna...you wished Chyna would be included more, right? I'll try...to a certain extent in which she doesn't actually take over what's supposed to be happening. 


	15. Mattitude Beats HHH

**The Extreme Generation of Enemies: H5 vs. DX**   
**Chapter 15: Mattitude Beats HHH**

Oh, yeah. By next chapter, I had meant next show chapter. Now, as for the titles... 

WWE Heavyweight Champion: Scott Steiner   
World Heavyweght Champion: Kane   
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit   
World Tag Team Champions: Edge and Christian   
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Scott Hall   
World Intercontinental Champion: Shane McMahon   
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio   
World Cruiserweight Champion: Billy Kidman   
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria   
World Women's Champion: Chyna 

That all? 

Monday, April 14th, 2003   
Las Vegas Arena in Las Vegas, NV 

9:21 AM: The H5 Team Extreme men are up, Shane makes sure to lock the door so if Lita and Marissa are up, they don't get in to interrupt what he needs to say. 

Meanwhile, outside... 

"Hey, Marissa, I heard from Matt that Shane had come up with a plan," Lita said. 

"Huh?" Marissa asked, confued. 

"When Matt and I were sitting under that plastic roof in Room 317 back at that hotel in LA," Lita answered. "I was talking on to him about the area, and he mentioned a plan." 

"Oh, yeah," Marissa remembered. "Shane, Shannon and I came up with a little plan. Let's get in." 

They realized the door was locked. 

"Hey, that's not fair!" Lita yelled. "Why am I locked out!?" 

"I think they're discussing our little plot," Marissa said sneakily. "I'll tell you." 

So, as both Shane and Marissa tell the others the plan from separate sides of the door, DX was still asleep, the Red Brood men were awake and trying to sort out why Trish would be in love with Edge and what to do about it, Latino Heat was heading for the Corporate Office, The Undertaker was waiting outside for a few things he ordered, etc, etc. 

Back to the H5, both teams are in, and Lita surprises the men by saying she knew of the plan and they should make modifications. 

"What!?" Shane jumped. 

"I told her," Marissa smirked. 

"Well, let's get on with it," Matt sighed. 

1:53 PM: The H5 members were all done sorting out their little plan, and they're just checkihng around the backstage area. Suddenly, Mr. McMahon whistles everyone into the warmups room. 

"The warmup room's technical difficulties have been fixed," Vince said. "It is now open for usage again! Who wants to start off against Finlay?" 

"I'm taking it," Lita said boldly. 

"What?" Matt asked. 

"I said, I'm taking it. You heard me." 

"Amazing," Chavo marveled. 

"Hey, hey, easy, Chavito," Eddie cut him off. "You think she wants to prove to one of the Women's Champions that she can beat a man in the ring, but I know something's up. Something else." 

"Yeah, but they don't know what's up with us," Chavo said. 

Matt left the warmup room. 

"Hey, where are you going?" Christian asked. 

"I've got a little thinking to do," Matt said. As he left, his thoughts were as follows: 

_Yeah, I'm thinking. About how DX is gonna get smoked by Mattitude._

A few minutes later in the H5 locker room... 

Matt was just thinking alone, when he suddenly heard a familiar voice shout out, "Yes! I won!" 

_Lita won?_ he thought. _That's impossible!_

"I beat him! I won!" She was still jumping all over about having beaten Fit Finlay. Which she should get destroyed for, anyway. Just kidding, Dumas lovers...I mean Lita fans. Come on, give me a break! Back to work: the rest of the H5 members were behind her. They all got in. 

"Hey, Matt," Lita started bragging. "You should have been there. You would be proud of me if you stuck around, because the winner was me." 

"Hey, that's great," Matt congratulated. 

"Thanks," Lita answered. "Want to go celebrate at a restaurant?" 

"That was a warmup match, so no," Matt decided immediately. 

"What's up with that?" Shane protested. 

"She beat Finlay!" Jeff yelled. "How could you, her very own boyfriend, not decide to celebrate for that?" 

"But, then again, since it was still my girlfriend beating a man, I suppose no harm could come of it," the elder Hardy reconsidered...or should I say, his words did so. 

"How long should we stay? We have a plot to do," Shane said. 

"Right," Matt said. "We should take about 30 minutes." 

2:21 PM: They're right outside the building. 

"Hey, you ready?" Shane asked. 

"Get away from me!" Matt yelled. 

"What the heck's up with you?" Lita asked. 

"Yeah, Matt, come on," Shannon pleaded. "Let's talk about this. You don't need to go angry at us." 

"I'm becoming DX!" Matt yelled. He then ran in past the others, still walking on their path. 

Lita responded with a gasp. 

"What's with this guy?" Shane asked. 

"I seriously don't get him," Jeff agreed. 

"Something's going on with his head, and we need to find out what," Marissa said. 

"Hey, I never noticed you're wearing black instead of cyan," Jeff said. 

"Don't mind," Marissa said. "Right now, we have bigger things to worry about-HEY!" 

Lita sprinted back into the arena and went after Matt. By the time she reached him, he was already talking with a smirk to Triple H. 

"Welcome to DX," HHH had said. 

"Hmph," she pouted. "Perfect. Makes me sick." 

She then sprinted back to the H5 locker room and got a smirk of her own. 

"Hey, what happened so far?" Shane asked. 

"Phase one completed," Lita said in a soldier's tone of voice. "Matt Hardy, Version One, has infiltrated D-Generation X." 

"Jeff, it's time for you to go," Shane said. 

"Right," Jeff said. 

"How do you come up with such plans?" Lita asked asked as Jeff left. 

"It's a gift, Lita," Shane said. "It's a gift." 

"From being a McMahon?" Lita added in the form of a question. 

"Absolutely," Shane justified it, proud of his family heritage. "I wonder if Dad'll ask me to go Corporate again. Oh, well. Until he does, if that's ever, I just better enjoy the moment with you guys." 

"Yeah, and you better really be enjoying it, or I'll arrest you," Lita joked. 

"That was not funny, 'cause everyone knows you're not the Boss Man," Shane commented. "Hey, speaking of Ray, I wonder how Jeff's doing." 

In the office... 

"So, you're suggesting that DX be split if they lose to your team at Backlash?" Vince asked. 

"And give Triple H a lineup of people he's most been around," Jeff said. 

"Indeed!" Vince agreed. "On one condition: if DX puts in any stipulations of their own, LEAVE IT TO ME!" 

"Sheesh, you don't have to get angry," Jeff retorted. "But then again, you're the boss." 

"That's what I like about you, kid," Vince commented. "You actually respect your authority. Unlike Triple H, who almost choked my daughter to death. That despicable son-" 

"Mr. McMahon, you're about to overrate this story," Jeff cut him off at the pass. 

"Thanks for the warning, Jeff, now leave," Vince said. 

_Phase two complete,_ Jeff thought as he left the office. _Vince McMahon is truly reasonable._

Back at the H5 room... 

"Lita, you don't even care how I feel!" Matt yelled. 

"What?" Lita asked. "you don't understand, Matt-what are you saying?" 

"I'm saying we're broken up!" the elder Hardy yelled before storming away back to DX. 

Jeff expected her to cry as he just showed up, 'cause she usually takes things hard. But this time, she completely knew it was a plan, and she only kept pleading until he walked out on her. Then, she smirked. 

"What happened?" Lita asked. 

"Phase two completed," Jeff reported. 

"So is phase three," Shane added. 

"Hey, Shane, you got our move?" Shannon asked. 

"You ready to zoom?" Shane asked. 

"Yeah," Shannon answered. 

"Then I'm ready," Shane said. 

9:45 PM: The Time to Play the Game entrance theme came up, and Triple H came out wearing a DX sleeveless shirt along with pants. 

"The thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home better get ready to put a sock in it!" HHH yelled on a mic. "Because you see, we've acquired a new member to D-Generation X. And his name is Matt Hardy, Version One!" 

Suddenly, in a "pick-on-him" twist, The I Don't Suck entrance showed out and Matt Hardy, in the Mattivest, greenish NC pants and V1 shirt, mocked Kurt Angle, raising the Mattitude V1 sign up in the air quickly with both hands crossed to cause Angle's fireworks. He then came in and did the sign hanging on the second rope. 

"Excuse me, fans, but I think Matt Hardy, Version One, has something to say. Cut the music. Pay attention here, because I have a few things to say. You see, the H5 Team Extreme has shown lack of Mattitude, let alone respect for the trademark. And I see a lot of it here in D-Generation X. I'll have you know that not even Lita supported Mattitude in the least. Speaking of which...we broke up this afternoon!" 

People were throwing things all over the place after they heard that Matt was not only joining DX, but also breaking up with Lita and accusing the H5 of not showing any respect for Mattitude, let alone any Mattitude whatsoever. Lots of things were falling down. Signs, beer cans, glass bottles, anything and everything. I think one of my back bones got a chill from that. After finally running out of things, the fans kept booing, watching Matt and HHH have their little degenerate celebration. Using the Mattitude V1 sign to show some "put a sock in it", Matt Hardy, Version One, founder of Mattitude, suddenly stopped, turned HHH around, kicked him in the midsection and gave him the Twist...of...FATE! The fans turned from jeers to cheers at the sight of it. Matt took back the mic he and HHH had used. 

"You see, Triple H," Matt said. "Everything that happened since we came back was all a plan! It was a premeditated setup! We beat you at your own game! It was DX which completely disrespected Mattitude, and Lita-" He was forced to pause as about 83½% of the fans chanted "You're still together!" at the sound of Lita's name. After a minute of pausing for the chants, he finally spoke once more. 

"Lita, these peole said it all. We're not broken up, we're still together! And, as for DX, put a sock in it yourselves! Everything that happened today was a plan of extreme ratifications!" He then taunted them with the "sock in it" pose. The Live for the Moment entrance popped up and Matt was celebrating, showing off the Mattitude V1 sign all over the place until X-Pac, Victoria, The Road Dogg and D-Lo Brown came out to chase Version One out. He went past the guardrail to take a backstage shortcut, and the DX members ruthlessly chased him. He was running. Suddenly, Shane, Jeff, Lita and Michaels obstacle these four members of DX! Shane delivers a Twist of Fate/Stunner combination to Dogg, Jeff delivers the Twist of Fate to X-Pac, Michaels hands a dizzening punch and greeted D'Lo's rise with some Sweet Chin Music, and Lita fired a dropkick to Victoria. Outfits: you don't need to know, the whole thing is happening too fast. But one can imagine what I have on them. JUST KNOW IT'S A LOT MORE THAN BIRTHDAY SKIN! 

Shannon Moore's entrance popped up, and Mr. Vroom-A-Zoom himself came right out. Anything to notice on the back of the shirt? It now had in OCR A Extended: 

VROOM-A-ZOOM SHANNON   
IS SPEEDING ON   
OUT! 

Front was the same. I'll call his pants the Speedster Design pants now. He's using the red ones with the Speedster lines white. He suddenly picked the uncionsious Triple H up by the head and gave him that same Twist of Fate Stunner just used by Shane! He took the mic, saying that "You have been introduced to Shane McMahon and Shannon Moore's Stun Twist!" 

Among other news, Chavo Guerrero had come out for a match against Rey Mysterio, taken a microphone and announced that Vince agreed to his request to be called Lieutenant Loco. His WWE Loco debut was successful, as he gave Mysterio the Loco Buster (Brainbuster) after not being home at a call and dodging the 619. Bill DeMott defeated The Undertaker via disqualification (steel chair) to be involved in a match for the World Heavyweight Championship at Backlash also starring World Champion Kane, Brock Lesnar and a mysterious returner. 

Be very prepared for _Chapter 16: The Screwball Gun_. 

P.S. Mattitude is true attitude! 

Oh, and I have something at Backlash from which you may think I copied a WWE 2003 event, but I truly did not. I had it planned all along. If I get to Backlash before No Way Out, you know it. If I fail to do that, you don't know it. Okay? 

Well, later, guys! Please review. I like to be complimented. 


	16. The Screwball Gun

**The Extreme Generation of Enemies: H5 vs. DX**   
**Chapter 16: The Screwball Gun**

Thursday, April 17th, 2003   
Centennial Garden in Bakersfield, CA 

1:32 PM: All the H5 members were up in such a great mood. Just three days ago, they had beaten the makers of degenerate attacks at their own game. They had outwitted DX, period. Now, Shane can't help but wonder why his dad didn't put in the stipulation of DX's loss equaling a split. Well, he didn't announce it, anyway, but Jeff told him it was official. Or, at least he thought. 

"Hey, guys, you ever wondered why Vince would forget the stipulation?" Matt asked. 

"I think he just decided to leave way for every match that was to go on," Jeff said. 

"It's obvious to me that he's saving the news for tonight," Shannon betted. 

"Really?" Lita challenged sarcastically. 

"Have you no respect for anything I think?" Shannon asked. 

"Just kidding around with you, that's all," Lita announced. "Say, how'd you come up with that, anyway?" 

"With what?" Shannon asked. 

"I think she's talking about the Stun Twist," Shane said. "Well, let's just say we got a page from a specific rattlesnake's book." 

"You mean Austin?" Lita asked. "But you may get fired! He walked out on us!" 

"He didn't even give us any permission. After all, this is a crossover finisher," Shane said. 

"I guess you're right," Lita said. "As sickly always." 

"Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" 

"What was that?" Matt asked. 

"I know that voice," Shane turning around. "Dad?" 

"Well, yeah," Vince said. "I see you guys are taking yourselves a little relax break, 'cause you outwitted DX, right? Well, I'd like to tell you that Shannon, you're teaming with Sho Funaki against Lieutenant Loco and X-Pac." 

"Since when did Funaki and Loco get invited into this mess?" Shannon asked. 

"Don't start that smart talk with me, or you'll be disqualified _and fired_ before the match even starts!" Vince yelled. 

"Shannon, you'd best be quiet," Matt advised. 

"Are you still trying to act as leader to me?" Shannon asked. 

"Well, you do seem like you need a little more educating," Matt joked. 

"He's just kidding around, he said that to make sure you don't get ripped off on us," Jeff said. "And I agree with my bro here. Vince McMahon is completely serious, and you're an important part of this team." 

"Thanks for reminding me that I shouldn't be so hasty," Shannon said. 

"Well, now that you're done, I tihnk we have someone who wants to talk to you," Vince said. Out stepped Sho Funaki himself. 

"Hey, SmackDown's #1 Announcer," Matt joked at what Funaki calls himself. 

"Matt, don't start with the disrespect," Funaki said in his own Japanese accent. "Oh, yeah. I have a little secret you will find out tonight." 

"Can you tell one of us now?" Lita asked. 

"Well, you look like you can keep a secret," Funaki said. "Come." 

"What do you want with Lita?" Matt asked. 

"Anything I know, he's not kissing her," Shane said. 

"Thanks for the assurance, but I think I better see for myself." 

Once Funaki whispered something in Lita's ear in some place out of reach to make Matt suspicious on purpose, they got back. 

"Tell me you guys didn't kiss," Matt said. Funaki just shut up and kept him suspicious. 

After a moment, Matt lost his cool. 

"Lita, why'd you do it?" Matt asked. 

"What?" Lita appeared as though she had no idea what Matt was talking about. 

"You know what I'm talking about, now spit it out," Matt ordered, foul from frustration and suspice. 

"Hey, Matt, we never kissed. I just whispered the secret in her ear," Funaki said. 

"Why'd you go away? Huh?" Matt asked. 

"What you thought happened is exactly what I wanted you to think," Funaki revealed. 

"Man, you're good," Matt marveled. 

"I think it's about time we went in for warmups," he then said after a moment. "I want to fight Malenko. Lita, don't come after me, 'cause Dean might get distracted by your presence." 

"You against Malenko?" Lita asked. "You don't have a match!" 

"I have a feeling I'm going to get one," Matt said. 

"Hey, Matt," The Rock interrupted. "Just came to tell you one thing and one thing only. You and your bro here are competing in tag action against two degenerates." 

"I'd rather say ingrates," Matt said. "But we never did anything for them." 

"We're talking Hall and Dogg here, kid," Rock said. 

"Easy to handle, yes. Scary, no," Jeff responded to knowing the opponents. 

"Actually, scary, yes," Rock warned. 

"What?" asked the others. 

"You see, it's a special match orchestrated by Traylor and approved by the assistants and Mr. McMahon," Ken Shamrock said from behind his partner. 

"Well, I'd like to know what kind of match that security officer even has in mind," Matt said. 

"What I'd be interested is what the heck is going on around here," Rico burst. 

"Rico!? What are you doing here?" Shane asked. 

"Just investigating," Rico said. 

"Investigating?" Marissa asked with a disgusted look on her face. 

"More like ricoing, don't trust him," Lita said. "I know what he did to Billy & Chuck." 

"What?" Rico protested. "You dare show disrespect for me? Rico? The third man of Three Minute Warning?" 

Lita then suddenly came up to Rico and slapped him. 

"Get out of here!" she yelled. Suddenly, Jamal and Rosey came bursting through Team Bring It, and they and Rico cornered Lita. The H5's male subjects saved Lita from near destruction, and Raymond Traylor then came over and hit all seven actually fighting men in the head with a night stick, to the point in which they were knocked out, but no blood was coming out. 

"Why did you take out Matt and the others? They were saving me from those savages," Lita pointed out. 

"But things could have gone out of order, my friend, and if there's one thing I know I'm useful for, it's stopping that," Raymond told her. 

"I think we understand," Marissa said. "But only take the Three Minute guys away. We're staying with the boys-" 

"Get out of here!" Raymond yelled towards another direction. 

"What?" 

"It's Dave and HHH." 

HHH and Batista were coming towards the H5 locker room. 

"Hey, Boss, remember what happened last time?" HHH asked. 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Raymond yelled. 

"Hey, hey, hey, is right!" a voice came from behind perhaps the two best members of DX. Vince McMahon, the Chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment, was behind them. "If you try anything today, you're fired! And even if you don't the stipulation I will announce still stands." 

"Let me tell you again, Triple H," Kurt Angle said from nowhere. "You have no integrity at all whatsoever. It's a shame I have to wrestle a snake like you." 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Vince yelled. "You two may have a match tonight, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you raise hell before the match even begins! That happens, you're all fired!" 

"Looks like you're solidifying your boss status," Raymond said. 

"Ray, shut up!" the boss yelled. 

"I was just-" 

"QUIET!" the boss cut the Boss Man. That's not his official name anymore, but that's still another way those folks know him. 

"Can you demote that 'Boss' from my name, sir?" Raymond asked. 

"Anything as long as you shut up and do your job, you've got a deal!" Vince yelled. 

"Mr. McMahon, you really need to calm down, sir," Raymond said. 

5:01 PM: Now, the whole situation was over with the boss. He was calmed down, DX was standing down, the H5 was up, Funaki and Shannon were wearming up against The Brooklyn Brawler and Fit Finlay, etc, etc. 

After a while, Funaki got a bulldog to Brawler from the top rope and got in the cover, 1, 2, 3. No, it wasn't long. 

Matt wanted a warmup against Malenko. End of the match: Malenko got in a leg lock, and Matt decided to tap out to save his legs for the actual match later rather than waste the time fighting. 

"They call me the king of warmup matches, and with reason," Malenko said. 

"With reason is right," Matt agreed. 

"Only Show got away with beating me twice so far, and he did it three times," Malenko said. "Not even Steiner won over me. I don't even remember him coming. Guess he thinks I'm a waste of time, me and these warmup matches." 

"_I_ think I'm off," Matt said. 

The H5 got back to their own locker room, and Funaki followed. 

"Lita, go on and tell the one you trust the most out of everyone in this room," Funaki challenged. "Whispering in the ear." 

"Absolutely," Lita agreed with a smirk. Already knowing who she'd pick, the redhead came over to the founder of Mattitude and whispered it in his ear. 

"Truly, you'd think I didn't know," Jeff criticized. 

"Jealous?" Lita flirted. 

"Hey, hey, hey, cut it out," Shane tried to break up what would be some kind of altercation. 

"I see your point," Matt said. "Both of you. Jeff, you know too well she's with me. Shane, you know too well about these old feuds Jeff and I once had, and you know it could start up again." 

"Hey, don't forget me," Shannon said. 

"What role did you have in any of this?" Marissa asked with some kind of annoyed look on her face. 

"Shutting up and letting the show go on," Shannon retorted. 

"That's basically nothing!" Matt cut. "Come on!" 

"I'm not even laughing," Shannon pouted. 

"Come on, rise and shine, Shan," Jeff persuaded. 

"Listen, we have X-Pac and Loco to worry about tonight," Funaki said. 

"You're right," Shannon jumped. "I'm here, I'm fighting DX, what's not to be proud of?" 

"Your lack of strength," Lita said. 

"This is a cruiserweight match," Funaki sterned to remind the redhead from Sanford. 

"Hey, Shane, the switch was undone, and you have a new entrance," Vince came out of nowhere. "I didn't feel comfortable in the different entrances. I was ordering the switch to be reversed back then on RAW, but the producers were too lazy. They did it today, I can come out today. No chance, son! No chance!" 

6:21 PM: The Hardys were just walking along, talking about how they're going to beat Scott Hall and The Road Dogg in a few hours, when suddenly, they come past Billy Gunn. 

"Hey, Hardys," Gunn called. They then ran back to him. 

"Hey, Billy," Matt greeted. "What do you need?" 

"Well, I just wanted to say that I really liked the way you drilled DX this past Monday night," Billy got right to the point. "I really wanted to see that happen to Triple H ever since he got that sledgehammer to deflect my steel chair." 

"Hey, thanks," Matt said. "When else could you get angry at your friends, break up with your girlfriend, join your arch-rival group and then betreay them immediately and get back with your girlfriend?" 

"How about when you did?" Jeff asked. 

"Exactly," Matt answered proudly. 

"Hey, I'm on my way to get something for Chuck. Mind helping?" 

"Sorry, but we can't," Matt said. "Need to get some food for my team." 

"Hey, that's exactly half of what I need," Billy burst. "Come on. All eight are on me." 

"Yeah, but make 'em skinny, we have a few matches," Jeff said. "Oh, uh, get some for Shawn and Dragon. That makes it ten." 

8:03 PM: The No Chance entrance came about with Vince's pyro, and then, the boss himself came out in a boxload of cheers. Wearing a business suit and carrying a microphone, Mr. McMahon wanted none of Edge--I mean was suddenly stunned by the fact that people were chanting "Vince McMahon" all over the place. Now, it was always good to hear the boss speak. He was a fair man, and he was oinly unfair to you when you were causing the working environment to become unsafe. But wasn't he the evil owner of the old days? After several minutes... 

"Now, you people have always known me to be a fair man ever since I took down the extension. The people were always thinking of me as a good, fine fellow here in WWE. Well, I'm sure you guys are going to love this. Jeff Hardy came up with a stipulation that may save all of the WWE superstars this past Monday night on RAW, but the entrance switch between Shane and myself was not reversed as ordered yet, so I had to wait until tonight to tell you! Wow, I wonder how those guys could have been so lazy back at the media production areas back there. Anyway, back to business. I am making at least one announcement tonight. Lieutenant Loco will be teaming with X-Pac against Sho Funaki and Shanon Moore! The Hardy Brothers will be teaming against Scott Hall and The Road Dogg in a special match refereed and suggested by Raymond Traylor, whose name the 'Boss' insignia has been removed from, and approved by ME! He'll tell you lazy fans what it is, and you'll wait! And, in a six-woman tag team match, we will see Lita, Torrie Wilson and Trish Stratus against Victoria, Jazz and Dawn Marie. The six-woman tag, no one was aware of, not even the competitors themselves. So, I'm not giving anyone an unfair advantage, here. And, as for the stipulation-" 

Suddenly, in no respect for the chairman whatsoever, Triple H came out in a Game jacket and double-lined pants, stopping at the top of the ramp. Had a mic of his own. 

"Hey, Vince, in case you didn't realize, I have a stipulation of my own, and do you want to know what it is?" the Celebral Assassin asked. 

"Triple H, who told you to just come out and interrupt the boss? Now, shut up!" Vince yelled. "Jeff Hardy's stipulation is that if you guys lose, you have to split up into two halves: D-Generation X and Raven's Flock. And, your amount of experience at work with each member will determine who goes where, HHH. Now, what's yours?" 

"At first, we were thinking to make Matt stop showing off his Mattitude, but we thought that the only thing Matt would do was go right back 2Xtreme, just like his brother, and risk losing a few fans and get it over with. That would be nothing. But this...this is going to do a lot more to Matt. If they lose, Lita is, by any and all means appropriate and necessary, obligated to join us and to never talk to Matt again!" 

Suddenly, from behind was a steel chair, and the holder was Shane McMahon in the Shane-O-Mac red/black/white short-sleeve shirt and black pants. After a little stare down at his attacked hunter turned prey, Matt's best friend then walked backstage. 

"I think I see why Raymond's match will definitely be needed," Vince followed up. "Oh, well! Enjoy the show, and welcome to WWE SmackDown!" 

The No Chance entrance popped again, Vince coming out. 

8:26 PM: Shannon Moore's entrance popped up, and he came out in an MF Vroom-A-Zoom sleeveless and dark red North Carolinian pants...man, these are becoming H5 famous. Showing the Speed Limit of 100 warning several times, including when he got into the ring, he awaited Funaki's jump at the Kaientai entrance, which is exactly what happened. Coming out in the same old blue and white-lined trunks, Funaki held that SmackDown's #1 Announcer cape-shirt. When he got into the ring, he took it off. Notice that instead of Tazz, a very familiar football commentarian by the name of John Madden was sitting down with Michael Cole. Madden ended up with the cape-shirt covering his face before he moved it off. 

The Degenerate X-Pac theme showed out, and X-Pac came out with Lieutenant Loco, the two accompanied by Loco's uncle Eddie Guerrero. Eddie wore a Cheat 2 Win shirt and green long tights of his multi-color design, Loco core black ones with his own design on them and X-Pac wore that same black-and-blue X-Factor outfit. The fans cheered for Shannon and Funaki and booed Loco and X-Pac. 

Funaki and Loco started off the match. Shane had a vital role this week, so don't say he was nothing just because he didn't have a match. Anyway, back to the match at hand. Loco went for a punch at Funaki's face immediately, and, although Funaki ducked out of it and ran himself into the rope Loco had his back turned to, Loco turned around and went after Funaki, flipping him down with a kitchen sink (the move). Loco went for the cover, 1, 2, kickout. Expected that. Loco then went up to the top of the turnbuckle, and when Funaki got up, Loco flew over for a cross body, and it landed perfectly. Going for another cover, Loco got a near fall after the count of two. He then came on top of Funaki and gave him some vicious punches to the face. Earl Hebner had a disqualification count of 5 started up. 1, 2, 3, 4, Loco threw his final punch right at 5 and then got off. He was threatened of a DQ, and before the senior referee could get it off, Loco held his hand, claiming he got off right at the final second, which, I hate to admit against my favorite team, he really did. Hebner reversed his decision of the DQ, 'cause he didn't even have it up yet. Watching that come to an end, Loco is oblivious to the fact that Eddie's yelling at him to look out behind him, 'cause it's Funaki who gives him a missile dropkick, flipping him over to the outside, and he almost fell over his uncle, who backed out of the way. Eddie then ran Loco away, but Loco broke free of the securing headlock, saying he wants to continue. Upon his arrival into the ring, Loco was met by a hurracanrana from Shannon. X-Pac then got into the ring and ran into several clotheslines from Shannon, whom, along with Funaki, once gave him a double suplex, Shannon getting the cover, 1, 2, X-Pac kicks out. Loco comes right back into the ring and gives Shannon the Lou Thesz Press and knuckles him like loco. Madden's comments: "Lieutenant Loco has gone loco intense." That being very agreeable, the fans are chanting "Loco Sucks" all over the place. Hebner then makes another count, and Funaki pulls Loco off at three, then starts doing it himself. Hebner starts the DQ count, 1, and before even two, Funaki lets go and falls right back down on the former Misfit in Action with a quick legdrop. He goes for the cover, 1, 2, kicked out. X-Pac goes after Shannon to make sure he can't do anything, but Shannon tosses him up in the air and gives him a front dropkick. Meanwhile, Funaki is readying for a chokeslam to be handed down to Loco, but he suddenly turns it into a Michinoku Driver! 1, 2, X-Pac stopped it by hitting Funaki. Shannon then turned him around and fired a Stun Twist, then went for the 450 Flip Splash, and Loco suddenly sprang up and moved X-Pac out of the way. Getting that accomplished, he stalked Funaki into the Loco Buster and covered him, 1, 2, 3! Your winners are Lieutenant Loco and X-Pac. Suddenly, Edge came out and speared Loco, and then Edgecuted X-Pac! Sporting his red long tights and Edgehead shirt, Edge suddenly hears Funaki speak on a mic. 

"Thank you for the help, but I did not really need it," Funaki managed. 

Suddenly, we hear the words "We are evil!" from a familiar voice, and then, "Indeed!" from Funaki, except he isn't actually saying it. Suddenly, Taka Michinoku's entrance pops up, and, EVIL shirt, namebrand Japanese long tights and all, Taka comes out to a load of cheers! Yoshi Tajiri's entrance pops out and he comes out in that same old gi of his, but this time, he also has a black/red/white INDEED shirt on! 

"This is the revival of the Kaientai, everyone, for we are evil!" Taka screams, having taken Funaki's mic. Tajiri helped him up. 

"Indeed!" Funaki managed before blacking out. Taka and Tajiri helped him backstage, and so did Shannon, who just got up. 

Speaking of backstage, Nidia was trying to calm her infuriated boyfriend Jamie Noble, who felt like punching someone because his friend ricoed him for Japan. 

9:12 PM: The old Anthology version (I like that one better) of Lita's entrance popped up, and she came out sporting the white fitness top with her name in black on the front and white beltless pants. That ended, and Torrie and Trish both came out to Over the Edge. Torrie sported a white fitness top and white pants, with some strange design in black - both of 'em - and Trish sported a black double-redlined pair of pants along with that shirt similar to Jacqeline's old jacket. Suddenly, Victoria's entrance popped up, and all three of them came out. Victoria sported a green/black version of her fitness top and tights, Dawn wore lilac fitness top and tights and Jazz sporting dark gray fitness top and tights of her own (see that picture of her on gerweck.net). Lita and Jazz used to be rivals, so they started this match off. Lita suddenly fell down to the ground as if she had fainted, and as Jazz hooked in the cover, she reversed it into one of her own and held on to Jazz's tights, 1, 2, 3! The match was won before it was even fought, but Raymond Traylor came out and disclosed Lita's trick onto the world. Then, the match was restarted, and Jazz took Lita down by the hair and started kicking her like a mad dog. After 16 kicks, she covered Lita, 1, 2, barely, but the Fireshell kicked out. Jazz then pulled Lita to her corner and tagged in Victoria, who then sat right on Lita's back and started viciously punching her, having scouted Lieutenant Loco earlier tonight and improvised on his blatant dark strategy. 1, 2, 3, 4, she let go before the 5 came up. She then brought Lita's head in between second and top ropes, then hung the back of her neck on the top rope. 1, 2, 3, let go. Like a fool, however, Victoria irishwhipped her right to her tag partners and left the room open for them to step aside and for one of them to undergo a blind tag. That happened, and the person who got the tag was Trish, and Lita countered the irishwhip with a flipping neckbreaker to Victoria. She then got out of the ring and Trish threw Victoria out, then flew right on top of her on the outside. Jazz and Dawn then got into the ring, chasing Lita and Torrie. Both assailants were backtossed out of the ring. Things were really becoming insane here now. All women were brawling outside the ring, when Chyna suddenly comes out of nowhere and hands over a Jackknife Powerbomb to Trish as referee Mike Chioda is completely confused on where to ref. Chyna manages to leave before Chioda spots her. Chioda orders order into the match, and the legal women were Trish and Victoria. The two of them fought again in the ring, and Victoria almost fired the Widow's Peak to Trish, who reversed it into a hurracanrana and got her in a cover! 1, 2, Dawn came in to break it up! She and Victoria then beat on Trish and that's when Torrie came in and clotheslined Dawn out. Lita came off the top rope and fired a hurracanrana to Jazz as she got in, and Trish fired in the Stratusfaction Bulldog to Victoria, getting the cover! 1, 2, 3! Over the Edge popped out again, and out came Matt and Edge checking on their girls. Well, in Edge's case, who knows? 

SPEAKING OF MATT HARDY, VERSION ONE... 

9:32 PM: The Mattitude connection started up, and once it came on, the Live for the Moment entrance came about and you could see a Matt Fact which said... 

MATT & JEFF   
WERE 5-TIME   
TAG TEAM   
CHAMPIONS. 

and 

THE H5 CAN   
SEPARATE   
DX AT   
BACKLASH. 

Both facts were very accurate. Matt sported the greenish NC pants along with a very light gray tanktop with that phoenix design (the ones he wears when he shows up on the SmackDown intro theme) and Jeff sported a white tanktop with the black NC pants. Both Hardys started showing their hand signatures all over, and once they were done, they asked for a mic. 

"You see," Jeff started, "there's this little something called the era of the Hardy Boyz which ended somewhere around last year when Matt turned on me. And we're now just simply known as the Hardy Brothers. Well, we can stop blabbering about the history leading to my point and let's just get to our point, but we may need to take a little time off the clock of the night. You see, after both stipulations were announced, my bro here was really feeling tense about anything and everything." 

"Let me explain to you guys this whole situation here in me," Matt said. "You see, it's been a while for me and Lita, we've been through a lot on both the same side and the opposition, though a lot more on the same side, as you should know. But there's really a major concern in me because of D-Generation X's stipulation. Triple H announced that his demented, degenerate, deranged team of folks made the stipulation that if they beat us at Backlash, then she is to go to DX and to never talk to me again, and any appropriate means necessary were approved. Which means, if I lose, everything we've gone through, everything we've worked for, it'll all be for nothing. (starting to cry) I know I'm not the only one who's ever been in situations like this, but if this goes the wrong way, Li, and we end up losing this sunday, I just want you to know, you're always in my heart!" Tears were in his eyes, and they were coming out. He fell down on his knees. No one ever believed this would happen, especially since the era of Mattitude started: Matt Hardy, Version One, in an emotional breakdown? Some cheered, others were speech impaired at the sight of it. A remote few booed. 

"Hey, bro! I was afraid of this!" Jeff yelled. "Look, I know you really wanted to get this off your chest, but this wasn't the right time! Come on, Matt! Get up! We have a match! Now I'm beginning to feel a little sober! Not that I didn't, but I think you've got my point. GET UP!" 

"Hey, yo!" Hall suddenly cut into the chase with The Road Dogg beside him and no respect for Matt's feelings at all. "You've only got two choices about this: beat us at the 'Lash or deal with it!" Wearing that soldier's metal cap, navy pants and a DX shirt, Dogg rushed at the distraught Hardys, then Jeff immediately punched him several times before clotheslining him over the ropes. Hall, in the black-and-white nWo tights, attented to Dogg while Jeff announced that they were to be known as the Hardy _Boyz_ again and managed to calm Matt down...or should I say turn his sorrow to anger. Both Hardys then put in Hall and Dogg and got in themselves. Now, it was nothing but a ruthless battle, each team with a purpose. The Hardys fighting to prove they could separate DX and keep Lita on their side, Hall and Dogg trying to prove that, come Backlash, Matt and his cherished girlfriend are going to have to learn to live without one another or the triumph of having broken down the most evil group in WWE history. 

Hall was battling Matt and Dogg was battling Jeff. At first, all four men handed right hands, until the DX members decided to try clotheslines, and they ended up getting duckpast and turning around to find themselves dropkicked down to the ground, and suddenly, the Boss Man entrance came about and Raymond Traylor came out in a black policeman's outfit and his night stick. The stick was in his right, he had a mic in his left. 

"If you guys thought you had gotten away from order just because of the hard insane action that has been raised into the stipulation, you have got to be kidding me!" Raymond yelled on the mic. "I was just busy testing out my abilities with this thing on the outside! Ever noticed the bell didn't ring yet? Remember, I'm the referee for this match! Now, before I keep rambling enough for you to think I'm John Cena, let me get to the point of what kind of matvh this is. You see, this is a guest referee nightstick security match!" Then, several security guards came out. "It's just like this. If you hit someone with a weapon, fire a low blow, grab on to me, anything that can get you disqualified, you will be hit with a night stick to the head. If any interference tries to come in, the security will fend them off. No-one is allowed at ringside, and if someone happens to get past security, EVEN IF IT'S JUST MARISSA, they will be hit with my stick - remember, she can slap or distract somebody - and taken out by the rest of the guards! Now, when I come into the ring, the bell will ring, and this historical matchup will begin!" 

He then comes into the ring and starts off this match. Guards are watching from the top of the ramp. 

Jeff and Hall face off in the center of the ring, and Raymond takes time to set the night stick down to the covert concrete near the announce table with Cole and Madden. Hall takes advantage of this little break and gives Jeff a low blow behind Ray's back, but he lets out too late - plus the truth in Jeff's reaction of pain in the crotch - and Raymond, catching it, gets out, gets his stick, gets back in and attempts to hit Hall, who moves out and pushes Jeff in the way! Jeff Hardy's hit, and Raymond has automatic regret and shock! He really wants Hall now. He's going after Scott Hall, and then, during the chase, he thinks to get in just as Hall does to the side. That working, he threw the night stick at Hall, and he was knocked clear calded cold. Matt and Dogg were warned not to get in by Raymond, who then checked on Jeff and tried to wake him up. He wouldn't do so to Hall, 'cause that's who he meant to get when he got both guys. 

After about a few minutes, they both got up. Hall's recovery was tougher, because getting a night stick thrown at you wasn't exactly a piece of cake compared to just a hit with a night stick, now was it? Anyway, they both get up, and after a few right hands by Hall blocked by Jeff into right hands of his own, he ran onto the ropes of their own corner and got a back tag from Matt, making the older Hardy the legal man rather than the younger one. But, Jeff deflected off the ropes and fired a flying forearm smash to Hall before getting out through the degenerate ropes. Before he could get back to his corner, The Road Dogg interrupted him, and they both fought on the outside with a few punches. Then, Dogg backed out of a Jeff clothesline and gave him a spinebuster right onto the covert concrete. Then, he started stomping the insanity out of him before getting cleared out from behind with a night stick. Someone familiar then sleaked from under the ramp onto it past the guards, and after the guards spot her, they, like everyone else watching, recognize her as the former DX valet Tori. Giving chase was futile for Raymond and the rest of the guards, as she escaped over the guardrail past the fans. Matt was distracted enough with the shock of seeing Tori again, but figuring out what she's doing here brought it into another story. By the time he figured out by her green top and black beltless pants that she was trying to do this to him as a degenerate setup all along, it was too late. Hall had knocked him down and was kicking the snot noze out of him. Ray got back there and made a 1-5 DQ count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Hall, watching for Raymond in order to trick him into hitting a Hardy again, spotted Matt running away from him, keeping Dogg from possibly throwing Jeff into the picture, and forcing him to take it. He ducked at the hit and tripped the Head Security Officer of the WWE. Then, Hall and Dogg had taken the match into their own hands for ten seconds, and Ray got right back up, He saw Dogg holding up Jeff for a steelchair from Hall. Stick iin hand, he awaited the hit, then, suddenly, Hall noticed and stopped. Dogg also noticed and that's when Jeff squiggled free, and Matt followed up with a steel chair of his own onto the back of Dogg's head from behind. Raymond sighted, and Matt ran away. Raymond had him one-on-one surrounded, for if he got in the ring, there would be a serious reprocussion for the cheating. Matt then got up to his corner's apron area, and Raymond rushed at him. The stick connected, and Matt was sent flying into the guardrail. He was out cold. As he was checking on Matt, Raymond was completely oblivious to the fact that Billy & Chuck had rushed in past guards to clean and jerk Hall and Dogg a little bit of their own medicine. Chuck fired a Jungle Kick to Hall, while Gunn shot Dogg in the midsection and fired the Fameasser before the two of them got sent back backstage, where they went celebratively, 'cause they dealt DX the cards and won the game. When Matt got up, Jeff was the only man up. Now, Raymond was going to have to let it be Texas Tornado for the moment because he forgot who the heck was legal! Getting both Hall and Dogg in and hanging Dogg onto the turnbuckle, the Hardys did the typical Poetry in Motion to him, then got the Twist of Fate to both degenerates, and laid Dogg on top of Hall as Jeff set up for a Swanton! Suddenly, from the side of the guardrail, out rushed Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. Benoit came in, ducked from a clothesline of Jeff and tripped him into a Crippler Crossface, while Kurt Angle got in the Olympic Slam to Matt. They then lifted the DX members up and threw them out of the ring. Then, they took a mic each. 

"I declare this match closed!" Angle said wearing the red Angle A wrestling outfit. Benoit wore blue Wolverine design tights. The fans booed as he continued. 

"You see, being that we're Tag Team Champions and all - so are 'sunshine' and 'jealous' backstage - Chris and I decided to make an announcement, but we never got any time to do it, so we felt as though we had to grasp it from guys like the Hardys and Hall and Dogg, who don't even have a title under their belt. That's pathetic! You see, we've decided to call in people whom we thought had the best likelihood of championship success here in WWE. And we're talking about two people whom we decided to bring into a project called Team Angle." 

"You see, we were thinking, what if we're defending these belts against part of a group, such as the H5 or the Red Brood, and they end up screwing us?" Benoit continued. "We enlisted two great wrestlers of today and decided to bring them into this game." 

Suddenly, the Thirteen entrance pops up, and out come Tazz and Charlie Haas (yes, I can use him, he came in 2002) in what I would call traiditional outfits. Tazz in a black sleeveless shirt with the 13 design and black double-orangelined pants and Haas in his Team Angle wrestling uniform. 

"We have here Tazz, the person who defeated me first at WWF Royal Rumble 2000, and that day, he just came from ECW, where he first built his reputation as one of the toughest men in this business. And into the World Wrestling Federation, and now World Wrestling Entertainment, he has proven over the years that he is a talent everywhere. Doing commentary here on SmackDown after an illustrious career was somthing most people thought only to be a dream or didn't think about at all. Well, now, it's true! Those who kept faith in his comeback were absolutely right! The Tazzmanian Devil is back wrestling again! And, here, we have Charlie Haas, who has undergone a lot over the time. First came his twin brother Russ Haas. The Haas Brothers were a great tag team in the developmental promotion of Ohio Valley Wrestling. But, when Russ sadly died - was it just passing away or was he killed, I don't know, and I don't wish for myself or for anyone of you to find out - Charlie had to go on his quest to move up from the developmental stage to the main roster of the World Wrestling Federation. Being trapped in because of Bolin Services and Lance Cade, he finally made it to the big leagues, just about a year after we became World Wrestling Entertainment, due to the stinking World Wildlife Fund - who took our name away without even having their wildlife wrestle one match, that's pathetic - could no longer be known as the Federation. Anyway, enough on pathetic foolishness, and welcome to Team Angle!" 

The I Don't Suck entrance came about, and Team Angle celebrated triumphantly as the guards escorted them out from public view. Neither members from the H5 or DX proved superior skills quite yet. 

A little bit of love sorrow, but no doubt about this: I'm updating the genre rating to Action/Adventure being primary because it's there all the time, and romance being secondary as in only involved in about a few of the chapters. Oh, well. We're that close, and I had to do something to spice up the story (in more genres than one) before Backlash, April 20th, 2003, which can only be known one way: by staying tuned for _Chapter 17: Emotional Final Showdown_. Not even any Pay-Per-View events will truly have this. Expect the 'Lash before No Way Out. And, did I just say a little bit of love sorrow? We're talking an emotional breakdown by Version One! How can that be "a little"? 

Keep reviewing! And, this chapter was made a long time ago, and I already completed 17. But, due to my delays such as keeping off the Internet and only using my Juno E-mail feature to talk to OnthaEdge487, and now the FFN matter at hand, I'm not publishing 17 until I get through a specific part of 18. Then, I'll be right back to regular programming with this story. The only thing that's changed from it is the removal of someone whom I just found out was recently deceased. I'm not telling you, it'll make _you_ sad for no longer of my concern! I'm a bit busy dealing with a rico, so if I'm rusted, tell me. 

Later, everybody! 

P.S. Mattitude is true attitude, and don't you forget it! 


	17. Emotional Final Showdown

**The Extreme Generation of Enemies: H5 vs. DX**   
**Chapter 17: Emotional Final Showdown**

Oh, one thing. Nightmares are in **_bold italic_**. 

Sunday, April 20th, 2003   
America West Arena in Phoenix, AZ 

4:32 AM: Lita's having a nightmare. Let's take deep inside her head. 

**_"We couldn't do it," Matt said. "It's done. Over. Finished. Our future is dead."_**

**_"I know," I sobbed. "We couldn't do it. Not even with all the help we got. Not even with all our efforts, we couldn't survive. DX beat us. We can't be together. No, it can't be anymore."_**

**_We were inside the Extreme women's room. Marissa had gone into the men's room with Jeff, Shane and Shannon. They all respected our wishes to be alone in this time of mourn, all because I got that Pedigree and couldn't kick out last night._**

**_"Li, don't even try an escape," Matt came stern at me. "They'll get you for sure, and you'll be forced to join them." As I was beginning to think he was coming cold to me and wanted me to leave, I suddenly notice tears coming down his face. I know he hates this as much as I do. It stinks. DX stinks. Triple H stinks!_**

**_"I know," I said, reducing the abundance of my own tears and wiping them away with the back of my hand. "Matt, before I leave for good, I want to remind you that...I love you."_**

**_Suddenly, as we begin to close in on one another, the closed door burst open, we looked and saw Rios, and he suddenly took me away. I yelled that it was only 36 seconds, not a minute._**

Suddenly, she awakens from the horror and sees Marissa also as slightly up as she is. 

"What's wrong with you!?" Marissa whisper-yelled. 

"Listen," Lita whispered, "I'm having this terrible dream. It's a nightmare. I didn't want to worry you by telling you, but it looks as though I have to. In the beginning of it, Triple H gave me a Pedigree and pinned me 1, 2, 3 in the match here. Soon after, I blacked out and when I woke up, I see you already awake. We come outside, and Rios asks me where I'm going with you, and I tell him I want to bring Matt here to say goodbye. He says as soon as I get back in here that I have 1 minute. I get him over there, we have our little moment of sad goodbyes, I tell him that I love him, we cry about not being able to see each other around again, but the thing is, he blows through the door and takes me away in only 36 seconds. Suddenly, that's when I try to tell that I still have 24 seconds, and that's when H comes and yells that they meant since I left the stopwatch's sound notice, and that those 24 seconds were taken getting Matt. When we reach the DX locker room, I beg, plead, even order him to give me the 24 seconds back, and he suddenly yells at me that I'm going to screw Matt out of a match he has against Spike Dudley, and if I take any time to spread any words into him or to kiss him afterwards or if I don't get with the program in any way, it'll be my head. He suddenly takes out this switchblade and I black out once again." 

"Oh," Marissa said. "But this is the third time." 

"I woke from it early, because my brain told me this was the same nightmare," Lita said. "But I think it was Kurt Angle's fault." 

"What do you mean?" Marissa was confused. "Kurt Angle?" 

"Yes," Lita said. "If he and Chris Benoit had only allowed one of the Hardys the time to cover one of DX, I would have been sure, but I'm not, that we'll win. If I were sure, I wouldn't be havintg this nightmare, because it started with a Pedigree to me from Triple H, so you should know it's that." 

9:32 AM: Lita and Marissa are awake, as they know Kurt Angle always wakes up consistently around 9:00 to 10:00, so he's got to be awake now. 

They storm into the Team Angle locker room once they find it, and they see Team Angle asleep except for Chris Benoit. 

"KURT!" Lita yells into Angle's ear. He had to get up from that. 

"Listen, Lita, I'm trying to sleep here!" he yelled. "I'm dreaming about kicking the APA's butts tonight!" 

"Excuse me, but I've been having this nightmare, and it's all YOUR FAULT!" she yelled. 

"What the heck are you talking about!?" Angle yelled in a manner which said 'this is preposterous'. 

"I'm talking about this past Thursday night at Bakersfield, 'Captain Kurt'!" Lita sarcastized. 

"What did our attack on the Hardys have to do with you!?" Captain Kurt yelled. 

"Listen!" Marissa yelled. "She would have been ensured of their victory against DX if only you let Matt and Jeff win! But no, you had to strike right before the match could end just to open this stinking team! You could have waited until a three! But you didn't even let a one! Now, her uninsured brain's had a terrible nightmare about losing three times, and neither of us really got half our necessary sleep!" 

"Hey, we're sorry about your-" 

"Shut up, Charlie!" Angle yelled. 

"But I was only trying to apologize!" Charlie pleaded. 

"Yeah!" Marissa chimed in. 

"Excuse me, but Charlie, what did I teach you guys?! Any WWE Superstar or Diva is either in Team Angle or nothing! And Lita is not in Team Angle! Therefore, she is nothing! And if you apologize to a nothing, you get kicked out of Team Angle, and considered nothing!" Angle yelled. "Now, Lita, you may be good-looking, you may have a boyfriend of an era, and you may be the Fireshell with a bunch of boys whose _skin_ color you don't even know being in love with you, but what you don't have is a membership to Team Angle! What you are not is a Team Angle member! Therefore, you are nothing! Why should I apologize to you!? Huh!?" 

Lita then slapped him, and she and Marissa ran back to the Extreme women's room. 

Back there... 

"That jerk thinks he's such a big shot!" Lita yelled. 

But, elsewhere, in the Extreme men's room, something peculiar's going on... 

"And then, after she tells me she loves me, just as we're about to kiss, she ends up being taken away by Rios, and that's when I get down on my knees and cry that it couldn't be ended the way it had begun." 

"Hey, this is a preposterous game DX is playing to chip you down," Shane said. "Don't start crying on us right about now. This is hard on all of us, kid." 

"Something tells me Lita had the same dream last night," Matt said. "We're the ones their victory will separate. It's more likely for her to have had this same nightmare than for her not to have had any nightmares about it at all. Call me crazy, but I know how she feels about me, and I'm not about to let this whole thing slide by and let her go like that!" 

"Hey, hey, hey," Shannon cut. "If you really had that nightmare, blame it on DX for making that stipulation in the first place. But don't worry. We'll do our best - and you should, too - to make sure it's DX, not you two, who get separated. And how could you two have a shared dream when you weren't even in the same room, let alone the same bed?" 

"What are we to do now?" Jeff asked hopelessly. 

"I'm not planning on going out anywhere-" 

"Hey, that's it!" Shane burst, cutting his best friend. "I have an excellent idea. First, dealing with today. You and Lita _should_ go out for a few hours - like two or three - and then come back here for warmups. Be sure to pick up some food for us, 'cause we don't need to be skin and bones. And, if we do happen to lose, how about this: he said she can't talk to you again, but did he say anything about Shannon? Nope! Shannon here can be our little messenger boy, and we'll be very thorough about it! That way, you two can actually talk to each other. At Judgment Day, request to team with Trish against Lita and Triple H, and she'll slap him instead of giving him a tag, then purposely leave and have him pursue her, and they'll lose by exit cowardice, and the very next night on RAW, she'll announce her permanent leave of DX!" 

"Hey, that's great!" Matt exclaimed. "But I'll still miss seeing her." 

"Don't worry about-hey, hey, hey! Stop thinking negative! Don't think about saving your relationship with Lita. That'll only bring you to desperation. Think about breaking your opposition. Think positive. Just think. If you win, D-Generation X will be divided into itself and Raven's Flock. You will have made history by separating the most dangerous group in WWE history into two! DX has become over before, but never split into two actual out-of-group units. That's our own stipulation! And you know what else? There's never been a group in the old WWF or WWE with more members than those eleven! That'll also be a record! Don't think of saving Lita. Go for the record! Think...split them up. You're becoming too desperate - that's exactly what they're trying to do to you. They're turning your feelings for her against you. Let them do it and you'll go to the point of cheating and getting disqualified. Then, your mission will fail. Besides, I have a feeling they want another female presence on that team - not need, want. And if there's anything I know they can do, they'll have Victoria degrade her and God knows what else." 

"And they're trying to chip me, too," Lita said. "I thought it was Team Angle's fault, but I guess I'm wrong." 

"You _are_ wrong, Lita-hey, how'd you get here without being noticed!?" Shane exclaimed. 

"Hmmm, let's just say you guys opened the door, expecting someone to show up," Lita said. 

"Oh, yeah, I wanted to get the Showstoppers and Team Bring It in, because they're the ones we're teaming with tonight." 

"If ya smell-ell-ell-ell-ell-ell-ell-ell-ell what The Rock is cookin'!" a voice had come from outside. The other half of the good team was out, and you know who said that. He continued. 

"I think they've done enough damage already, and I'm going to give it all I've got to make sure they don't lay another human being down as they've done so many times before!" 

"Excuse me, I'm the one who wants to destroy Triple H!" Michaels yelled. 

"We all want to destroy someone on DX, and for three of us, it is HHH," Nash replied. 

"Hey, Kevin, ever wondered who would win in a one-on-one between you and Steve Nash?" Jeff asked. 

"Who?" Kevin asked. 

"You!" Jeff yelled. 

"What do you mean? I suck at basket-" 

"I meant he'd let you choose what kind of match, and you'd pick wrestling and pick him apart," Jeff said. 

They were all staring at him, certainly not about to laugh. 

"Come on, I was telling a joke." 

"This was not any time to come up with jokes, Jeff," Matt said. 

"Bro!" Jeff complained. "Help me out here!" 

"Now who's begging who for help?" Matt asked. That was a funny, but then, everyone stared at him after one second of laughing as well. 

"Both of you need help now," Nash said. Then, they laughed and stared at him. The last person not to get laughed and stared at was Michaels in this little game of theirs. 

"Gotcha!" he jumped up and down like a kid who just won a game. 

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down, Shawn, we have serious business to handle here in a few hours. Say, let's check out what's up for the night," Matt said. 

They then head into the warmup room and look at the table of contents...I mean matches. The table of matches. 

Here's how it was displayed on the chalkboard. 

**Match Order - Contestants/Teams - Match Stipulations and Online Championships**   
Preliminary Match - John Cena vs. Rikishi - Intercontinental Title Shot   
First Match - Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio - WWE Cruiserweight Championship   
Second Match - The Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho - Heavyweight Title Shot   
Third Match - APA vs. Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit - WWE Tag Team Championships   
Fourth Match - Kane vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Bill DeMott vs. Mysterious Returner - World Heavyweight Championship   
Fifth Match - Scott Steiner vs. The Big Show vs. Mysterious Returner vs. Hidden Newcomer - WWE Heavyweight Championship   
Sixth Match - Trish Stratus, Edge and Christian vs. Latino Heat - World Women's Championship and World Tag Team Championships   
Seventh Match - H5 Team Extreme, Showstoppers, Team Bring It vs. D-Generation X - DX Loss = Flock Split, DX Win = Lita Joins 

"This is it?" Matt asked. 

"We expected more matches than this," Lita pointed out. 

"We did, all right," Shane agreed. 

"The thing is, our match takes up time space, so this stipulation and competition limitation is supposed to take place," Jeff explained. "But Matt, Lita, think about that first stipulation for the seventh match. I know you want to dedicate this match to each other and take it as saving your relationship, but that'll only make you so desperate you may end up screwing up. So, dedicate this to anyone and everyone who's even been perstered by D-Generation X and take it as stopping the advancement of the most chaotic team in WWF/WWE history." 

"Guys, we ought to come up with some sort of strategy before we do ANYTHING!" Shawn yelled. 

"Anything I have to admit, you're right," Shane agreed. 

"Since I'm the newbie around here, why don't I start by saying that the most common sense is that we should try mismatching them between speed and power?" Dragon asked. 

"That may or may not work, the best way to handle that is to balance it," Lita said. "But whatever you do, only put me up against Rios, X-Pac and Victoria. If Tori tries to get in the way, Marissa, you whack her." 

"What?" Marissa asked. "Why are you involving me in this?" 

"Excuse me?" Lita questioned. 

"Just kidding," Marissa admitted. "I know what to do. After all, this is the most likely the future for at least one person on either side of this match." 

"Okay, so we should be starting up on our little plan," Shane reminded. 

"Well, so nice of you to drop in here to have your little discussion," Vince sneaked from behind. 

"Huh?" They all turned around to see the boss as well dressed as usual. 

"Well, let's just say you're just in time, because I have a few awards to hand out right about now," Vince said. 

"Attention, please!" Raymond yelled on a microphone hooked up to loudspeakers all over the arena. "May all Superstars report to the warmup room! I repeat! May all Superstars report to the warmup room!" 

"Good work, Raymond," Vince acknowledged once the security officer was done. 

After about six minutes, all WWE Superstars and Divas were sitting down facing the Corporate Office members. 

"Now, I'm sure you haven't noticed anything other than the table of matches," Vince said. "Well, let me award you with something. There's this mini-chalkboard I have under the ring, and it just so seems that I have a few awards, session starting from the extension's end to now. The awards will be presented in the form of certificate." 

He takes out the black mini-board written over with white chalk and gets over to the podium (is that even the right way to say it?) to speak through the mic, setting the mini-board on it. 

"Introducing first, the Most Victimized Survivor award is presented to...Matt Hardy, Version One!" 

The Live for the Moment entrance theme popped out from a radio as Matt got up and took the certificate from the desk to the right of the podium. He then got back to his seat next to his girlfriend in the back. 

"Now, for the most valuable Office member...Raymond Traylor!" 

He went up to the desk and took his certificate as the Boss Man entrance went on board. 

"The best Diva certificate goes to Victoria!" 

Her entrance comes on and she gets that certificate. 

"The best entrance is a tie between Shawn Michaels and Matt Hardy!" 

"Hey, since I already won one, I'll let him take it," Matt quickly announced. 

_It's just one of those things that make me admire him,_ Lita thought. 

Shawn smirked at Lita as though he had read her mind before the Sexy Boy entrance reminds him of the certificate itself. 

"And, the best Superstar, the certificate of acknowledgement goes to..."BIG POPPA PUMP" SCOTT STEINER!" 

Steiner's entrance comes out, and he gets up to get his award. This repetition is unnecessary, isn't it? 

"Well, that's it, you can go-" 

"WAIT A SECOND!" Bischoff burst. "You forgot, there are still three, Vince!" 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Vince yelled back at Eric, whom, like all the office members, were sitting behind him instead of in front of him. Back to the others, he continues. 

"The best Tag Team certificates go to Eric Bischoff!" Vince yelled. 

"Me and who?" Eric asked, beaming. 

"You and your army!" Vince yelled. Some of the Stars and Divas laughed. "Actually, I was supposed to say Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit." 

The I Don't Suck entrance popped on as the WWE Tag Team Champions came up to claim their certificates. 

"And, yes, I do have a Best Comeback trophy, and whoever thinks they own it, stand up!" Vince yelled. Shane was planning to be honest and stay down, but Chyna and Shamrock refused to admit which one had a better comeback. 

"The name on the certificate says Ken Shamrock, now sit down before you get fired!" the boss yelled at Chyna. 

Ken's entrance came about and he stood to take the final certificate. 

"Well, now you can go," Vince said. 

They all left. 

Back when the H5 finally reached the Extreme men's room... 

"Ready to execute our little plan?" Shane asked. 

"I came up with a few additional parts to it," Jeff said. 

"Explain," Dragon said. 

"Well, let's just say it'll need Trish and Edge. We could help them get to know each other better. Besides, we'll need some guards just in case DX comes. Plus, they want to ruin two of our futures? We'll ruin one of theirs, because when they lose, not only will they be split up, but one member will be unceremoniously fired." 

"What do you mean, Trish and Edge?" Lita asked. 

"Take them out with us," Jeff said. "Maybe I can have a chat with Christian back here." 

"Christian?" Shane asked. "What's with you? Are you turning into one of the Red Brood." 

"Yes, and my new name will be Jay Collett," Jeff joked. When Shane started throwing a temper tantrum, Jeff shocked him by saying he was just kidding and that he really thought they could use some friend security. 

"Well, why don't you and Christian get their backs?" Shane asked. 

"Oh, yeah, I never thought of that," Jeff admitted. 

"You see, that's the problem with you," Marissa complained. "Your wild self can never get organized." That was a laugh. 

At the Corporate Office... 

"You know, I'm thinking it's unfair for the H5 to undergo such a dark stature. Matt can't ever talk to Lita again?" 

"What do you think we're supposed to do about it?" Vince asked. "Besides, they could go crazy and add some drama, exciting the ratings." 

"Well, let's think. They want to ruin two H5 futures, we'll ruin one DX future. If they lose, not only do they get separated, but one of their members becomes unceremoniously fired prior to the split." 

"That's exactly what we thought to propose," Shawn said, as he had sneaked off to tell Vince and the Corporate ones about Jeff's stipulation. 

"Well, that was a double thought," Vince said. "That's going in. I'll tell them...after they come out." 

"For the match?" Shawn checked. 

"For the match," the boss assured. 

2:53 PM: The Hardy Boyz, Lita, Trish Stratus, Edge and Christian are out as planned. They're headed for a fruit stand. There, they see Kurt Angle and Michael Jordan signing autographs. 

"Hey, Kurt," Edge greeted. 

"You know those guys?" Mike asked. 

"They're some of the guys I work with in the WWE," Kurt answered. "And quite frankly, the two guys that are not blond showed me some pathetic skill. If it wasn't for some guy called Billy Gunn, I would have waited until that match was over, and most likely it would be a loss for them. But, Billy helped them. Therefore, Chris and I decided to interfere before they could get the three." 

"Hey, who are you calling pathetic?" Matt demanded. 

"You, your brother and-" 

"Can I have your autograph?" a little boy asked tugging onto Angle's red, double-whitelined pants. 

"Sure," the Olympic gold medalist said. Both Angle and Jordan signed the autographs. 

"This, my friend, is a waste of time. Come on, guys, let's go," Christian demonstrated the fact that he didn't want to stick around. 

"I agree," Jeff said as they all turned to leave. He suddenly stopped as they also did. "Oh, uh, Kurt, just one more thing." 

"What?" the Olympian asked. 

"You suck!" they all chanted before laughing and leaving. 

"What's wrong?" Jordan asked, noticing something not being right in the look on Angle's face. 

"I do not suck!" the Olyimpian screamed. "Mike, you're on your own." He then left. 

Meanwhile, back in the Red Brood locker room... 

"I can't believe those guys!" Jericho fumed. "Why would they have to help the H5 out in some stupid last plan? I'm supposed to be the head of this group! I'm the King of the World! Why can't they just learn to listen to me!?" 

"Would you stop with that racket!?" Taker yelled. 

"Make me," Jericho dared. Taker then shot him in the midsection and set hip up for a Last Ride Powerbomb. How could that ever pass Raymond, I don't know. But how nothing ever does is that much of a mystery, 'cause he hit Big Evil with the night stick. 

"What was that all about?" Raymond then questioned Jericho. After hearing what's been going on in the H5 and Red Brood, he continues. 

"What's wrong with helping guys in need with a valid plan?" Raymond asked. "You think of yourself too much. At least Mattitude has enough compassion to have a girlfriend, while you probably couldn't even have a date with your kind of behavior." 

"Would you guys quit fooling around!?" Vince yelled from behind. 

Meanwhile, back out in the streets of Phoenix... 

"Hey, you guys know what this whole plan was orchestrated for, right?" Christian asked. 

"Yeah, we know," Matt said. "First and last dates. But if we split up-" 

"Don't you worry," Jeff said. "We have your backs. Christian, I'm guarding Matt and Lita, you keep for the brooders. Got it?" 

Christian nodded. 

"Good, now let's go," Matt hurried it up. They then split up, Jeff and Christian on each team looking every which way for any degenerate signs to show out. 

When the Hardy Boyz and Lita reached a Burger King about 16 minutes away and finally sat down... 

"Whew," Matt sighed. "Man, my feet are killing me." 

"You are not kidding," Lita said. "They wouldn't even let us in. Now, that's murder to the min." 

"Min? I expected max," Jeff commented. 

"Where can Trish, Edge and Christian be?" Lita asked. 

"Already worrying?" Matt asked. "Calm down. You're with your favorite man in the whole wide world and his brother. What in the world do you have to worry about?" 

"Probably not being around you again," Lita muttered. 

"Don't even talk about that, you're making us desperate," Matt reminded her, having heard the mutter. "We're supposed to be thinking to split DX and fire a member, not to save our relationship. We'll become desperate enough to screw up." 

"Yeah, you'll overwork yourselves for absolutely no reason," Jeff agreed in an unorthodox manner. "And it'll all be over, just like your nightmare." 

"Jeff, isn't that exactly what you're trying to avoid?" Matt asked. 

"Oh, yeah," Jeff remembered. "Sorry about that." 

Meanwhile, somewhere else out... 

"Hey, we've got our little plan set up, right?" one voice asked 

"Why exactly did I decide to go through with this, man?" the other one panicked, sounding more latino than the first. 

"You want Brooders, I want Hardys, now hurry up and cope with me on this one, okay?" the first one reminded him. 

"All right, all right, you don't need to get all toasty about it," the second voice showed his reluctance. 

Out step...Essa Rios and Eddie Guerrero. 

Meanwhile, at Burger King, back with the Hardyz and Lita... 

"Hey, you ever wondered why you're an Olympian?" Matt asked. 

"I never went to the Olympics," Lita complained. 

"Yeah, but you've always won it in my book. You're greater than the Olympics. Sure Kurt may have his gold medals and his Tag Team championship, but what's it worth if you don't have the perfect girl to share it about?" 

"Matt, please, just stop," Lita said. "It's creeping me out. I think you should just say the words. The main words, the ones that everything you've been saying for the past fifty-six billion years mean." 

"When Vince said Stephanie was the closest to ideal daughter anyone can have-" 

"Just stop it already, will you!?" Lita yelled. "Stop acting as though we're headed to lose! You have Mattitude, for crying out loud! You know the good and the lovers always beat the Decepticons!" 

"I just can't help it, it's exactly how I feel!" Matt pleaded. "Would you give me a break here?" 

"I just don't get all this poetic business," Lita sighed, calming down. 

"I'd rather find out why you hate it," Matt said in a somewhat frustrated and bored manner. "And besides, it's not really that poetic, because I didn't even have any rhymes." 

"Hey, guys, I think I see Rios and Eddie outside," Jeff said. "I'm going in after them." 

"What?" Matt asked. "You're crazy!" 

"How crazy is protecting your brother and his girlfriend?" Jeff asked. "I see those two latinos scheming. I bet Rios is using this same plan on the Red Brood later on. I know they're there, and I dare to get right past the traffic!" 

That he miraculously did on a reckless attempt and succeeded in passing all the police officers. The whole while, he was punching the heck out of Eddie and Rios, and they retreated. All the while, Matt remembering the words he said about his younger brother. 

_When I think of you, I think of the most daring brother anyone could have._

Those words were certainly remembered. Jeff dared to compete in Hell in the Cell with a security guard against the the Nature Boy and the Prototype on RAW and ended up winning. Many times, he's succeeded and failed spectacular stunts involving TLC material, not all of it being in those type of match. He's here today. He just tried going past Phoenix traffic to attack two latino predators, whom, in their complete opinion, were on the verge of attacking Lita and himself, and later on, a few of their outergroup friends. And he just succeeded! 

Once the latinos got back to the arena and met up with the other 12 of their groups... 

"How'd it go?" Chyna asked. 

"Not good," Rios said. "Jeff was there and he caught us." 

Chyna then slapped him for getting one of Los Guerreros into something as dangerous and demented as a strike in the streets and failing in the process. Triple H pushed her and the Guerreros out of the DX locker room and shut it tight. 

"What do you mean Jeff was there and he caught you!?" HHH yelled. 

"That's exactly what I meant," Rios excused. 

"I know that!" HHH screamed. He then continued after calming down. "Look, I was expecting this plan to be fool-proof, and according to what I just heard, a little Hardy just screwed the match open. We're going to have to do something about that guy. Daredevil. Ha! More like evil screwball." 

Oh, yeah? You're the evil one! 

Meanwhile... 

"Lita, I've heard a lot of guys claiming they have the perfect girl, but I know beter than to believe them-" 

"Oh, will you cut it out!?" somebody yelled from another table. "If you're only here to make love to her, you might as well leave, because you know we don't want to hear you!" 

"Where is this again?" Matt asked. 

"We're at a Burger King, and we just ordered some food," Lita seriously reminded him. "You're so busy trying to flatter me you don't really know what the heck you're doing around here. You really think we're headed to losing?" 

He hears several of Lita's remarks in his head. 

_Stop acting as though we're headed to lose! You have Mattitude, for crying out loud! You know the good and the lovers always beat the Decepticons! You really think you're headed to losing?_

He then lingered a thought about it for a moment, and came to his senses. 

"You're right, Lita. We're not going to lose. It's not just us two, it's everyone on this team which will ensure our victory. It'll take a lot of effort, but if there's anything I've ever learned in high school, effort never goes to waste. We'll do this. We'll create history by separating the most numbers of any group - let alone D-Generation X - in WWE history. You know it, I know it, everybody backstage can feel it, DX is running in chills, and you just gave me a positive Mattitude adjustment! Hey, you ever wondered why those people feel entertained by Matt Hardy, Version One?" 

"Because of me," Lita jumped expectantly. 

"Well, partially," Matt corrected. "The other part is the way I go about being me." 

"Now you're actually making sense," Lita smiled. 

"Thanks," Matt replied. "Now, can I take an order?" 

"I think you should," Lita commented. 

They then went up in the line and got their burgers, fries, sodas, etc. Lita got a Whopper with regular fries and strawberry soda and Matt got a Big Mac with peanut butter-like sundae in a Mattitude.com cup with french fries and coke. 

Once they're all done... 

"I think we should meet up with Trish and Edge," Matt suggested. 

"I'm asking you why you didn't think of that fifty years ago," Jeff said. "Besides, I want to talk to Christian." 

"All right," Matt said. 

Once the teams met... 

"So, how'd it go?" Lita asked. 

"He was as good as ever," Trish bragged. "So nice, so charismatic, so...I don't even know what to say." 

Right back to the degenerate locker room... 

"Well, I was hoping to save this for the match, but we have to go through with it now." 

5:10 PM: The H5 was discussing how the date went, etc, etc. Suddenly, as Lita was getting to the part which she decided to save for last in which he tried to flatter her with completely unprecedented lines of "poetry" and how she gave him a positive Mattitude adjustment, Billy Gunn burst in and started beating up Jeff Hardy. Billy punched his back several times, threw him into the wall and started kicking the living daylights out of him. The others stayed out of the way until they got over the shock of seeing Billy like this. He wouldn't want to hurt Jeff...or would he? As soon as Gunn fired the Fameasser in on Jeff, Shane pulled him right back out. 

"Hey, Billy!" he yelled. "What's the matter with you?! Because of you, our chances of making history are almost as bad as the Grim Reaper's skin!" 

"Hey, hey, hey, that's what I'm here for!" Billy noted before leaving. 

"That jack-" 

"Shut up!" Edge yelled as he, Trish and Christian just showed up, interrupting Matt. "I know what you're headed to say, Hardy, but I don't think we can let you." 

Here are the Backlash results before the big bad boss match. 

With the distraction of Albert, the referee was oblivious to John Cena giving Rikishi three low blows before coming away with a Fire Thunder Driver and a 1, 2, 3. After the match, Cena picked up the big Kish by the hair and clotheslined him out of the ring as he and the other two celebrated.   
Rey Mysterio countered the Dudley Dog Career into a spinning snapmare which hung Spike Dudley onto the second rope. The masked celebrity then fired away with the 619 and the West Coast Pop to successfully defend the Cruiserweight Championship.   
The Undertaker countered the Walls of Jericho, then got in a Last Ride Powerbomb to Chris Jericho. This time, because it was in the ring for the match, Raymond didn't interfere, and Taker ended up winning the Heavyweight title shot.   
Charlie Haas rushed in for interference to give Bradshaw the superkick, but Kurt Angle got it insteaed. Haas was ejected, and Ron Simmons fended off Chris Benoit, as Bradshaw won the APA the Tag Team titles with the cover on the Olympian.   
The mysterious returner in this match was "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, but since this was not a Loser Outs ruling, it went by one pinfall. Austin was too late in breaking up a Tombstone from Kane to Bill DeMott, because he was overoccupied with Stunning Brock Lesnar. The Big Red Machine is still World Champion.   
The mysterious returner in this match was "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan, and the hidden newcomer was Bill Goldberg. Goldberg Jackhammered all three opponents and covered Show to become WWE Heavyweight Champion.   
The same old, same old "cheat 2 win" routine was practiced by Eddie Guerrero, as he used a steel chair from behind the referee to Edge from the outside. Edge was out cold and bloodied, and Christian was given the Loco Buster. Trish was overconverned with Edge's ailments, and with no one to break up any counts, Loco won Los Guerreros the World Tag Team Championships and kept Chyna World Women's Champion in the process. 

9:57 PM: The Mattitude connection started up, and once the screen was fully connected to Mattitude, the Live for the Moment entrance came about, and out came the H5. Matt Facts went as follows: 

THE H5 CAN   
SPLIT THE   
MOST DX   
NUMBERS IN   
WWE HISTORY 

and 

MATT HAS A   
HIGHER   
ENTERTAINER'S   
RATING THAN   
JEFF. 

Anyhow, back to the match, it's about time you guys found outfits...man, this chapter is so boringly long I could skip it, do what I want to do and get right to the next part! 

Anyway, both Hardyz sported the same thing they had worn on SmackDown, Shane sported the Lions Shane-O-Mac and black pants, Lita the poison-logo top and midnight-green NC pants, Marissa (as valet) a full black outfit consisting of sleeveless shirt and pants, and Shannon _his_ recent SmackDown outfit. Doing their own thing (including the Shane-O Bullhorn Shane invented by putting up his middle and ring fingers and stretching them as far apart as he could), they suddenly hear the famous entrance of Version One stop. The Sexy Boy entrance comes on, and the other five members of that team come out and do _their_ own thing. Michaels sporting the same jeans he wore at Summerslam 2002, Nash sporting a black tanktop with his name in red on it and a pair of black jeans similar to that of Michaels, Dragon wearing the American version of the Ultimo, hence his known name of The American Dragon, Rock and Shamrock each wearing their own traiditional tights. Suddenly, before they all were done, out came Vince McMahon in his business outfit and the No Chance entrance. He, like the competitors, got into the ring with his microphone in hand, 

"Now, before I let this match go on, I'd simply like to do my part here in the making of this match before it even goes. DX! Let me warn you! You're either taking a major step or making a fatal mistake, because if you lose, not only will you be split into DX and the Flock, but before that split even goes, one of you will be unceremoniously FIRED!" 

Suddenly, the arena and crowd respond to the words: are you ready? The D-Generation X entrance goes on down, and DX itself rushes in to attack the H5. Flair sported short tights and knee pads, Rios sported red/orange long multi-lined tights, Hall sported nWo short tights and knee pads, HHH sported his namebrand short tights and knee pads, X-Pac sported an X-Factor Blue tanktop and long tights, Dogg wore a DX black sleeveless shirt and multiple X long tights, D'Lo wore a black wrestling fit with degenerate green D design and outline, Victoria wore degenerate green traditional top and beltless pants, Raven had short tights and knee pads and Batista wore those traditionally designed short tights and knee pads. 

Once Vince got to a seat next to Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler (the PPV commentary team), the starting bell rang to this match. 

About a month ago, DX started this war, and now, it's the beginning of the end of it. The two who fought at Summerslam 2002, Triple H and Michaels, are in the ring, approaching, sending words flying at one another. Suddenly, when HHH spits on Michaels' chest and smirks, the Heatbreak Kid goes over the limit and gives Triple H a hard falling clotheslines, then goes on top of him and constantly punches his head, an Albert tactic. Mike Chioda began to count the disqualification count, but when he got to 2, HHH pushed Michaels off. As the Game got up, Michaels gave him several punches, then irishwhipped him, and when HHH came back the other way, Michaels went out of his way. We soon discovered why when Michaels intercepts HHH's return path the first way with some Sweet Chin Music, but the HBK's former best friend knew him too well and ducked, so sweet chin didn't connect. Upon his second return the other way, HHH clotheslined Michaels, who fell to the ground. The Celebral Assassin then picked up the Showstopper and thursted his throat. Picking Michaels up again, HHH gave him a suplex. Then, that's when HHH tags in Dave Batista. Batista is ruthless to Michaels. Picking the HBK up by the hair, the 325-pound monster eats him up with punches to the face, the left hand holding and the right hand punching. Then, Batista threw Michaels' head down and did the "put a sock in it" gesture. Batsita was all over Michaels, but it's right when Batista sets him up for a Listen to the Dave that the match really blows open from there. Shannon Moore, who dropped outside from the apron corner to go to the right side and trip Batista by grabbing one of his legs, saw that plan only distract the big monster from Michaels to him. Batista and Shannon chase around the ring, and finally, the Vroom-A-Zoom speed of Shannon's causes him and Batista to actually go on a collision course. Dave tries to clothesline Shannon, who ducks out of it, then, as they intercept, the young man out of Raleigh, proud to have been a Mattitude Follower, lunges at Batista with a flying forearm. He can't knock him down, but Michaels just jumps up off the ground and started punching back at Batista! Once the degenerate monstrosity was too close to the ropes to remain in at one more punch, Michaels did the untraditioal thing and gave him that one more punch! Batista went flying out over the top rope. Michaels goes down outside, stepping on Batista. By now, Shannon was back in his apron corner...at least physically. He's watching Rios' every move right now, and I have a hunch that _he_ has a hunch. Rios gets off, goes to the right side of DX's apron corner, gets onto the turnbuckle and aims a dropkick all the way down to the outside towards the Heartbreak Kid, who's picking up the 325-pounder by the head, for another move, no doubt. It connects, and both men in the vicennity are down. Suddenly, you see Lita on another turnbuckle post, ready to hurracanrana him! But, he catches her, acts like a chivalrous one and carries her in a hero's way up the ramp, and halfway up, he lifts her up in scoopslam position and throws her down. Her back i severly hurt. Now, the former boyfriend of Lita is the one who is kicking the living daylights out of Lita. The Hardy Boyz, however, truly have something to say about that. Remember about 2½ years ago when Rios ricoed Lita and the Hardyz saved her? Well, this is becoming the same thing ². Matt and Jeff rush up the ramp, then they stop and strategically scheme. 

"Hey, what are we supposed to do now?" Matt asked his brother. 

"P.I.M.," Jeff schemed. 

"All right, let's do it," Matt said. Jeff then bent over, Matt backed up and then ran and jumped over his back and caught Rios in a bulldog. That was called the Poetry in Motion Bulldog. Matt then picks Rios up by the head and gives him the Twist of Fate. Suddenly, Dogg comes up and attacks the Hardyz, but Shane interrupts his assault with a Stun Twist! D'Lo and Victoria begin to go attack, but that's when Raven warns them that the only thing that will happen is that one of the enemies will simply come into the picture and attack them and that brains before action is a perfect strategy. Matt then picked up Lita in the same "hero" manner, except this time, he was no faker. No rico. No liar. None of that. Going down to the bottom of the ramp, Matt laid his girlfriend just behind the others at the apron, and he actually had the care to tend to her while she was out and take time off his participation in the match. I don't think he was taking advantage of the fact that Dogg and Rios were already out at the top of the ramp. Taking advantage of that would really be to outnumber DX. The thing is, he didn't take advantage of it itself, he took advantage of the time his team had because of it, for it wouldn't last when those two got back up. 

Meanwhile, Shawn and Dave were back in the ring fighting again. Both men trying their best to outwit one another, they punched at one another with all they had until Batista came away with a clothesline to Michaels. Dave now tags in Flair, who styled and profiled all over the place...as usual. He then tried to go for the Figure Four Leglock on a downed fellow legend (whom, in his mind, was a piece of arse carp), but Michaels quickly countered it and sprang up out of nowhere again! Flair tried to chicken out and tag to somebody else, but Michaels pulled him by his boots, and he wasn't going to be let go anywhere. Suddenly, Michaels turns his body around, Flair's feet covered in boots Michaels' hands are all over, and Michaels' hands are crossed, but he soon uncrosses them to cross the legs of Flair in order to get in a cross crab! Flair feels like tapping out, but X-Pac breaks up the count from the top rope with a leg drop. Both Flair and Michaels are hit, and X-Pac is stomping away on them, and The Rock's temper gets over his head! He suddenly bursts in, and Chioda can't stop him. He's laying the smacketh down all over X-Pac, hitting it strong, hitting it fast with those punches of his, then it's the smackdown slap, and X-Pac is sent retreating to the outside! Scott Hall suddenly comes in and sets up the People's Champion for a Razor's Edge, but Rock counters it into a back toss, and Rios comes right back up and into the ring to try to hit him, but only get the smackdown laid on him as well! But, now, Lita'd beginning to get back up, and two people jump out of the stands and ambushed her. You guessed it: Tori and Gunn! Shane and Marissa then took out Tori and Billy, Shane doing most of the work, Marissa getting Tori with a few kicks down and a slap to kick those off. Then, Raymond finished that interference by dragging them straight out of the arena with his security team. But, once in the process, Marissa accidentally stepped on Lita's low blow area! It was filled with pain when Lita woke up minutes later. Speaking of minutes later, Rios and Shamrock were fighting in the ring, when suddenly, in comes Victoria, and she slaps the World's Most Dangerous Man, and the Projectile gets in a bulldog. The 187-pound graceful cruiserweight from Tijuana, Mexico then goes up for a high-jumping moonsault to Shamrock! But, the former Intercontinental Champion and Tag Team Champion with Raymond rolled outside as Rios attacked inside, and there was nobody home! Shamrock then got back in and tagged in The American Dragon. Not a smart thing to do in appearance, but it is a smart thing to do for Shawn Michaels' student. Now, Dragon's on top of Rios' back and is punching the back of his head. Chioda starts the DQ count. 1, 2, 3, Dragon then gets up and stops. Rios gets up immediately afterwards and lunges at Dragon with a clothesline, but the agile 184-pounder jumps onto the second rope from behind him and jumps right off into a sunset flip pin! 1, 2, kicked out. That was the first cover of this extremely emotional match. No members of either team could afford to lose, not even the Showstoppers and Team Bring It members, because their heads each majorly wanted to get their hands on Triple H, and this was their best chance to make an impact against him. D'Lo Brown and Raven felt as though they've been sitting silen for too long, and Kevin Nash knew what they were up to when they dropped out and came around the ring. When they finally got to what they would think was behind the Diesel, he turned around and gave them a double jumping clothesline. Nash then set D'Lo up for the Jackknife Powerbomb, and that's when Raven tripped him down and it didn't go through. Hall, an old friend of Nash, decided to get him into a Razor's Edge. However, he was backtossed straight into the stands! That's when he started cleaning degenerate house with Raven while D'Lo ran in to clothesline Lita. She and Victoria had gotten tags and were both fighting in. Victoria and D'Lo were chemistrated for a clothesline sandwich, but Lita ducked. They both hit each other instead. Victoria was down and out cold, and it took a while for D':Lo to lose his balance. Once he got back up, Lita gave him a hurracanrana, but only got a two count out of it before D'Lo kicked out. Suddenly, he went for the Sky High Induction. It connected just like it did back on the RAW of Chapter 10, but this time, Michaels was up on the top rope ready to break up the count with a back elbow drop landing on one of D'Lo's shoulders! Meanwhile, Raven was had with the Jackknife, but Nash was had with the Razor's Edge. Suddenly, Michaels got back to the apron, Lita tagged him in, and they switched places in one most tricky move. He then got in, and as soon as D'Lo got back up, he felt something called Sweet Chin Music almost behead him! Now, the good guys block the degenerates, and Michaels gets in the cover, 1, 2, 3! 

At that sound, and that of the Sexy Boy entrance, the ten good guys heard their names called as the winners by Tony Chimel, and because this was so positively momentous for all the guys, they were celebrated with sprinkles of glitter coming from up there! Vince, still holding his mic, ordered the music cut and got up from his seat. 

"Now, I just told you that if DX lost this match, there were going to be mutliple stipulations. The first one you knew was the separation into two groups: DX and the Flock. But before that, someone is going to be fired. Now, Mr. 16-time World Heavyweight Champion? Mr. 'I will outpromote Vince McMahon'? Mr. 'I've outwitted the boss!' Dirtiest Player in the Game, if I say so? Ric Flair, you haven't shown me anything as far as wrestling is concerned. You can't main-event like you used to. Hell, you can't even beat Rico anymore! Flair, this decision was not tough, it was easy, and it was firm. YOU'RE FIRED! Raymond! Guards! Get him out of my sight! I don't ever want to see you again! And, as for the groups, we'll see. D-Generation X will continuously consist of Triple H, Tori, Essa Rios, The Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X-Pac. The Flock will consist of Raven, Scott Hall, Victoria, D'Lo Brown and Dave Batista. If, by tomorrow night's RAW, these groups are not so aligned, you're all fired!" 

The No Chance entrance popped on again, but only for a short time. 

"Oh, yeah, Matt, I almost forgot to tell you. Nidia asked me to tell you she wants to talk to you tomorrow at noon." 

The No Chance theme popped again, and it was celebration galore with the Corporate Office members watching as Vince McMahon's theme played the end of the enhancement of D-Generation X's name. The now separated members walk face down. Flair was already forced out. Suddenly, the show goes off the air. 

Afterwards... 

11:03 PM: "Hey, guys, I'm not ready to sleep yet, so you can congratulate me all you want," Matt announced as there were many Superstars crowding around him in the Extreme men's room. Most of the Superstars had either detested or feared D-Generation X in its new form, and now, it's in half commission. And some people wished Flair would just retire, and now he's fired. So, basically, only those 12 were not in the celebration. Meantime, Tori and Billy were let back into the arena, and they couldn't spoil the party as they had planned, because someone in a black top and beltless pants who looked like Chyna's little sister had assaulted Tori and scared Billy into telling HHH. 

"I need to see who that is, I can never really get a good clue because she scared the heck out of me," Billy said wearing the outfit he's been wearing all night: a gray DX shirt and his red BG trunks and accessories. 

"How can a mere woman scare you?" HHH asked. "You're a degenerate!" 

"Well, HHH, I'd like to give you one answer: by dismantling Tori out of nowhere right in front of me," Billy said. 

They then looked and identified her as The Kat. 

"Hey, Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty," HHH taunted. "You the one who jumped Tori?" 

"Look at this," Kat yelled, raising up a black shirt with red Just Bring It text. 

"I see," HHH said, he and Billy chasing Kat all over the arena. When she finally got to The Rock, who was in the H5 locker room, he and Shamrock stared down Billy and HHH. The two degenerates then considered dealing with business a little bit later and left. 

"Oh, yeah, Triple H, Billy, could you go and get your degenerate partners back here? We have something to tell you," Shane mentioned. 

After a few minutes, Tori recovered from the assault and the DX members showed up. No, not those who got reserved into the Flock or the fired Flair: only the ones who are remnants of DX. 

"Hey, Triple H, we have something to say," Jeff repeated. "Now, over the past month or so, you've made us sick, you've been despicable, you've tried to separate Matt and Lita, you've tried to destroy us, but you know what? We kept up through it. But we'll congratulate you on not only giving us a great match to go into and letting guys like me, Matt and Shane compete alongside guys like Shawn Michaels and The Rock, but also for giving us great rivals to compete about over the past month. Thanks a million, D-Generation X. We've split you and the Flock apart, but that doesn't take from what you tried to do to us. From what you could have done to us. Thanks for being outstanding rivals, we know you'll raise some hell around here, keep up the good work." 

Some cheered at the H5 about their sportsmanship and some booed because they were actually respecting DX. Either way, Jeff let Matt have a word. 

"Hey, you know what, though?" the 225-pound Hardy finished. "There's another opportunity that we need to thank you guys for. The opportunity you've provided me and Lita to prove we could stay together by breaking a record of being part of the team responsible for splitting up the most numbers of any group, not just DX, but any group at all, in WWE history. You've given us that, and we've taken advantage. Plus, Ric Flair was going to retire tomorrow anyway, so his firing was just him leaving a day early." 

"Who told you Ric was retiring tomorrow?" HHH asked. 

"He told me that before I went to bed last night," Matt said. "He also told me that if you guys lost that he expected to be fired, so it should have come as no surprise." 

"He never said that! Well, not to us anyway," Rios immediately chimed in. 

"Shut up, rico!" Matt yelled. That gave everybody a laugh. 

"Hey, Rios, I'm givin' you a challenge for tomorrow night," Crash said. 

"Winner faces either Cruiserweight Champion?" Rios asked. 

"Hey, you read my mind, latino degenerate!" Crash exclaimed, telling Rios his exact mark, and the Projectile was proud of it. "Say, why don't you and Lita have a kiss for old time's sake?" 

"No way am I letting my girlfriend kiss a rico like that!" Matt yelled. Rios was about to go after him, but Matt whoaed and the other degenerates held him back. 

"Where the heck is me?" Hall asked from behind. He might have taken a bath, 'cause he was in his nWo shortsleeve shirt and black jeans. 

"You're not even supposed to be here, Razor Ramon, so get on outta here!" Austin yelled. 

"Shut it!" Matt yelled. "Let him in if he wants to join the festivities, have a chat, etc, etc. There was no actually planned party, so there won't be any food involved. But maybe next week we can hold it? Oh, uh, one more thing. Don't get all rowdy all over the place or Mr. McMahon'll get mad if you know what I mean. And nobody wants to get Mr. McMahon or any member of the Corporate Office mad." 

"Hey, Matt, can we have a chat tomorrow at noon?" Nidia asked. 

"What do you want with me?" Matt asked. 

"You'll see," the female Tough Enough I Champion said. "You'll see." She and her boyfriend Jamie Noble then left. 

"Well, let's go," Matt said. 

"Huh?" Lita asked. 

"This celebration is gong on without us, and if you make any silly noises or whatever related to us-" 

Rios already made kissy kissy noises. 

"Hey!" Matt yelled. "GET OUT!" 

"Hey, hey, hey! I was just kidding around!" Rios retaliated. 

"Tell it to the judge," Matt said. He then walked over to him, kicked him in the midsection and gave him a Twist of Fate. 

"This'll teach you to pick on me and the precious one you threw away!" Matt yelled. "If you want her back so badly that you have to pick on me to make me show the bad side of me, well bad luck to that! You should have never ricoed Lita in the first place! Triple H, are you getting mad?" 

"We'll let it slide," HHH said after a while, which he needed to calm down. "After all, you guys won the decisive battle." 

Everybody knew how close Matt and Lita were, it was no secret, but now, it was showing more than ever. 

Meanwhile, once those two made it into the women's room of their team... 

"Hey, Li, let me ask you. You had that same dream from your point?" Matt asked. 

"What dream?" Lita asked. 

"They win, we meet in this exact room, we get ricoed by Rios just as we're about to end this show the way it starts." 

"How'd you guess?" Lita asked. 

"I just figured since you were fearing the same thing that you were fearing it in the same way." 

"Well, we couldn't end it the way it all started in the dream. Let's celebrate its continuation the same way it started." 

That is exactly what they did. After the long smooch... 

"Hey, where's yo' ticket to Thuganomics?" John Cena asked, coming back from the party. "You headed for the wrong room, and you're kissin' in our tomb." 

"What?" Matt asked. "You're the mistaken ones." 

"Well, come and see, and fried crunchy you'll be," Cena rhymed again. "And, yeah, the IC title I'm attackin' belongs to your buddy McMahon." 

"I think I'll go tell him that while you look to see who's in their right room," Lita said. 

Suddenly, Matt looks outside and finds the the H5 Women's room was aside to the one he was on, and that he was in the T&A door all along. 

"Hey, guys, don't tell anybody about this, okay?" Matt asked. "We don't want to look stupid." 

"Don't worry, we won't snitch, as long as neither your girl or Shane's is a witch," Cena said. 

"Shut up with that rap!" Matt yelled. 

"Oh, yeah?" Cena asked. "Make me or I'll bake thee." 

"Shut up!" Matt yelled. He then stormed from the wrong room into the right one. 

Meanwhile, in the Extreme men's room... 

"Hey, Shane," Lita called as she just came in. 

"What's the tale?" Shane asked. 

"You remember when John Cena beat Rikishi for an Intercontinental title shot in the preliminary tonight?" Lita asked. "He's going after your Intercontinental title instead of Scott's." 

"I'll just have to brace myself for anything that comes," Shane said nonchalantly. 

"Yeah, but we have more numbers than the T&A, at least now." 

"I think this whole thing has gone on long enough," Vince said from nowhere. "Now, everyone go about their normal business!" 

They did exactly that. Being the last one asleep, Matt slept at his traditional time of 4 AM. Well, actually, he took 63 minutes early. 

Oh, yeah, and Vince caught a cigarette pack in Road Dogg's things and wrote an official document declaring his DX contract no longer valid. You're fired! 

What does Nidia want with Version One? Find out in _Chapter 18: The Butt of Decepticon_. Be prepared, for it is the next title! 


	18. The Butt of Decepticon

**The Ruin of the H5**   
**Chapter 18: The Butt of Decepticon**

Monday, April 21st, 2003   
Delta Center in Salt Lake City, UT 

11:42 AM: Matt's up, and so are the rest of the H5. 

"I heard what happened last night with the rapping incident about you and John," Shane said. 

"What?" Matt asked. 

"And I've decided to award you with a present." 

In came Cena. 

"Hey, yo, it's Johnny C in here, ready to rap some pain into ye! I'm the untouchable who makes his own lunchables! My partners are just as bad as me, so don't screw with me or else you'll feel some pain. If you do come out of our room feeling a lot of ouchies and strains, that means you haven't been using your brain. Hey, Shane, you may need to ask Kane to help you because it's your head and Intercontinental title I plan to take and chew at Judgment Day on 5/18/03. The thing is, 18-year-old girls come after me. I tell them I'm not a freebe and they back away from me. One of them wins my interest but proves to be nothing but jack on the date and the next time she gets a chance, she shows up too late. So the next time you ask me what did your sister do to John Cena, she called me Sheena and then left the scene at about 11:30, then showed up at that time next time when she would have been on time over thirty minutes early. Word out." 

"What are you talking about?" Jeff asked. 

"Whose sister?" Shane asked. 

"Don't you get it? He's talking about Stephanie," Lita said. "He was looking at you when he mentioned the sister line. Obviously, Steph tried to talk to him somehow, but her plot completely misfired." 

"And if Vince McMahon knows, she'll _be_ fired," Cena said. 

Twist of Fate. 

"What was that for?" Shannon asked. 

"This guy's rap is getting on my nerves," Matt pointed out. 

"I think I remember clearly what he's talking about!" Shane jumped. 

"What?" asked the others. 

"Did you just do that?" Albert suddenly jumped in. "Did you just do that!?" 

"Your friend should know when to freestyle and when to resist editing his profile," Matt mocked. 

He then got the Baldo Bomb for speaking his point. 

Test then showed up and issued Jeff the Big Boot for being the little brother of the anti-Cena member of the H5 who just made himself known. 

"If any of you try picking a fight with our friend, you're dealing with us," Test said. 

The H5 was left with Cena and cleaning duty for about 15 minutes, so to speak, when suddenly came 11:59 PM. 

"Holy smokes!" Matt exclaimed, back up. "I think I'm needed in a little chat elsewhere." 

"Oh, yeah, Nidia," Lita said dryly. "Well, I don't trust her. The next thing you know, you'll be away from me in no time. Not that I even want half of that, but you just can't trust those SmackDown Divas." 

"What do you mean? The extension's over," Matt pointed out. 

"I mean those Divas that were on SmackDown during the extension." 

"Hey, hey, hey, after what happened these past few weeks, I'm not losing you," Matt sincerely stated. He had no idea what was coming to him, but before he got there, he was interrupted by Edge, who was looking around for him. 

"Hey, Matt, I need to talk to you for a moment," Edge said. 

"Sorry, but I think I have a little business to take care of," Matt answered. 

"Trust me when I say by the time it's over, you won't even be with Lita anymore," Edge said. 

"Why does everyone keep thinking that?" Matt questioned. 

"It's just an instinct we all have about girls like Nidia and Dawn," Edge said. 

"Hey, I need to go already," Matt said. 

"Like I said, I need to talk to you," Edge said. 

"If it's about Nidia, then I don't want to hear it," Matt quickly retorted. 

"No, it's about Trish," Edge corrected. 

"Good luck on that," before rushed Matt running away to the parking lot "tunnel", which is, where he figures, that people would want to hold conversations when in trouble. 

When he got there... 

"You're a few minutes late," Nidia pouted. 

"Sorry, but I got interrupted by a certain brooder," Matt said. "Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about?" 

"Actually, it'll be easier to show you than to tell you," Nidia said, putting a chill into Matt's bones. 

_Maybe they're right,_ the elder Hardy put into his head. _Maybe I shouldn't have come over here._

Before he can run as he thinks he should do, Nidia turns her back on him, bends over and pulls up her already exposively-short cut jeans, revealing at least 83 and a third percent of her buttocks. 

With a shocked and somewhat pleased expression on his face, Matt reached out with his hands to touch the beehive. The thing is, she turned right back as soon as she felt a hand and recovered as much of you know what as she could with those jeans of hers. 

"You like?" she flirted. 

"Hey, I've got to tell you, you're a firecracker," Matt replied. 

"Really?" Nidia beamed. 

"Really," Matt ensured. 

"Okay, if you really think that, I have a little proposition," Nidia said. "Turn your back on the H5 and never talk to them again by the end of this week, and you'll get to join me and Jamie." 

"You mean be a rico?" Matt asked. 

"Take the risk," Nidia said before walking off. 

_What did I just get myself into?_ Matt snapped himself back to reality. _That Nidia is nothing but body, her beauty is only at the skin. Inside, she's just like Dawn Marie. A brilliantly dark, calculating, conniving, vindictive, manipulative witch! How'd I sucker myself into this? How'd I let her get to me? And, I know that some people have criticized Mattitude for spreading lies, that's lessening every day. But I have Lita to worry about! Wht'll she think of this? When I get out of this, she won't talk to me. Why does this kind of thing happen? One problem after another. God! What am I supposed to do? I'm in this very same situation as that Scotty Singleton kid from that book written by R.L. Stine whose title I just can't remember! I've got to do something about this. My life is screwed, wrecked._

"What could be keeping him?" Lita asked. Continuing after seeing Nidia's smirk... 

"And what could she be laughing about?" 

"Maybe he helped her out in whatever she needed," Jeff said, trusting that his brother had done good. But little did he know... 

"Damn!" yelled Matt. 

"I think I figured something like this was going to happen," Edge said from nowhere. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Matt asked, surprised. 

"I watched the whole thing, and I was right," Edge said. "You idiot! How could you let her do this to you?" 

"Hey, don't start with those 'adult lectures'," Matt said. 

"For an older brother, you sure need one-" 

"HEY!" Matt interrupted. "I'm going to handle this the right way." 

"If you mean actually ricoing your friends, I think that's the wrong way to handle things," Edge said. 

"Hey, I'm not going to get Mattitude sunk down by false testimony again," Matt sterned. 

"Hey, if you just forget about it, no one'll ever know," Edge said. 

"How do I know you won't snitch to the world?" Matt asked. 

"What? Do you think I should?" Edge retorted. "The only people I can actually trust and tell are my fellow Red Brooders. They won't do anything about it. They might actually forget!" 

"Can we stop this game of 1-upsman talk now?" Matt asked. 

"Okay," Edge said. "But remember, I'm not the only one who's to stop." 

They then went separate ways. Once Matt got back to the H5's place... 

"Hey, I don't even want to know," Shane said, obviously figuring Lita would automatically want to know what was going on at that lot tunnel. 

"What was going on?" Lita asked, obviously concerned. This is exactly what both Matt and Shane expected. 

"Hey, give me a break, we were just talking," Matt said. 

"About what?" Lita coaxed. 

"Uh, stuff," Matt said. 

_Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ he scolded himself. _If she knows by someone else's telling, she'll hate you forever. And how can Edge be trusted? He's a member of the Red Brood, not the H5! He can rico you at any second! And how do I know his friends won't do anything to screw me up, either?_

"What kind of stuff?" Lita asked, with this thought: 

_Obviously, he's hiding something from me._

"Oh, I get it!" she then burst as an idea. "You've acquired some unsharable confidential information! Well, let's talk about it later, shall we? Well, now, we're here. We beat DX and split them into two. It'll be interesting to see how things fold with both units from here." 

"It sure will be," Jeff said. 

"Shut up!" Matt yelled. "Oh, uh, sorry." 

"That was not cool," Shane said. 

"Hey, am I trying to be cool or am I trying to succeed?" Matt asked. "If you lose that Intercontinental title, I'm getting it back." 

"Hey, I might give you a free challenge for it," Shane said. "Later on." 

"Hey, I think I've got a little celebration plan," Matt said. "You know, for making history and all." 

_To tell you the truth, this is a rico scene,_ he thought, ashamed of himself. _I could explain it to you in less than a minute._

"Oh, yeah?" Lita asked. "What is it?" 

"Well, actually, she came up with it," he lied. But that lie had its own truth. The thing is, he came up with it, but it was become of the situation with...who else? Nidia. He was not going to like this day. He would rue it until this whole thing was over. 

Meanwhile... 

"Scott, I'm transferring leadership of the Flock to you," Raven said. "And, you can go on with your grand master plan." 

"Okay," Hall smirked. 

What grand master plan are we talking about here? That will be coming here soon... 

9:01 PM: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the H5 Team Extreme!" Lilian Garcia welcomed all over on the mic. 

The Mattitude connection started up, and the entrance: Live for the Moment, the official theme of Mattitude! Matt Facts... 

THE MOST NUMBERS   
IN WWE GROUP   
HISTORY HAVE   
BEEN SPLIT BY   
THE H5 AND CO. 

and 

MATT AND LITA   
ARE LEGALLY   
STILL   
TOGETHER. 

Well, our very own Version One sported the same old purple Matt Pants along with his Version One shirt, his daredevil brother wore black and white Matt Pants along with that black shirt of his picture, Lita, Shane and Marissa wore the same outfits from last night and Shannon sported the MF Vroom-A-Zoom shirt and the red Speedster. 

"Now, we're here for a good reason," Matt said, taking the mic. "And that reason is to introduce you all to the ceremony of victory. We're going to display our entrance themes to show that we made history last night! Now, without further ado, let my entrance go out!" 

The Live for the Moment entrance played again, and Matt showed his sign all over the place, demonstrating that he is a member of the team which made history. Once his went off, they immediately played the Extreme entrance, and Jeff started showing of the 2Xtreme Gunshot, when Matt suddenly kicked him in the midsection and gave him a Twist of Fate. 

"What was that for!?" the others protested. 

"Hey, hey, hey," Matt spoke, using that same mic. "Don't throw a temper tantrum all over me. I'm just doing what's right. I have to leave." 

"What are you talking about!?" they demanded. 

"I'll tell you what really went down back there," Matt said. "Sorry, Li, but this news is going to be hard to take because it means our relationship really is done...at least for the moment." 

"What are you talking about!?" Lita yelled, getting to his mic. 

"I mean what happened at noon," Matt said. "Actually, it'll be better to show you than to tell you, because I just can't seem to get the words out." 

Okay, so footage of what happened earlier on was shown (from when he got there to the Edge confrontation), and after seeing it, Lita cried and collapsed on her knees. The others yelled at him, ready to pounce on the rico at any second. Fans booed at him and felt like throwing items all over his head again, because they were prepared to think it was an april fools joke the day after Backlash. Therefore, they didn't get any of this. 

"Sorry, guys, but I think I'm into a new team now," Matt admitted. He then left, acting as though he never really cared about any of their reactions. 

_This was the only way I could get this done and over with,_ he then thought. _I'm sorry. I hope you guys'll understand and forgive me eventually._

Backstage, a specific Cruiserweight had an enraged reaction to this turn of events. The reaction took place in the Holly Cousins' locker room. 

"Did you see that guy!?" Crash yelled. "Matt Hardy is nothing but a damn rico! Bob, d'you see how he dealt his friend like that!?" 

"Hey, Mike, you need to calm down," Hardcore ordered. 

"I'm not calming down, cousin!" Crash expressed his frustration. "It's too late for that! I'm going over to Vince's office and calling a match to beat him down to these new roots of his! He's stooped so low now! Betraying his broter again!? I thought that was over with!" 

"Mike, calm down," Molly ordered, who just rejoined her cousins (uh, could it really be cousin and brother? I don't know, really) yesterday morning, saying that she was beginning to get lonely all by herself. 

"Like I said, Molly, I'm not calming down!" he reminded them. "I'm going over to the boss right now!" 

Crash then walked in that same old rush fashion, except this time, he really did look angry as he really was. His cousins followed him. 

Once they reached the office... 

"Mr. McMahon, did you see what Matt Hardy just pulled back there!?" Crash yelled. 

"Look, you didn't come here for any ridiculous rambling time, did you?" Vince asked. "Because if you did, get out." 

"That was completely dishonorable, and I plan to do something about it!" Crash continued in his temper tantrum. 

"I can't do anything about it, because that would be infringing on my employee's rights," Vince said. "But, I think I know what you want." 

"I want a match against that rico right now!" Crash yelled. 

"Rico?" Vince was confused. "Oh, yeah, I remember. Ever since Rico pulled what he did on Billy and Chuck, that's become the known term for a traitor. Well, I think I can provide you with what you need. Tonight, it's Matt Hardy vs. Crash Holly! Eric, go tell him." 

"Sure," Bischoff agreed. He was about to meet with Noble and Nidia in their locker room when the former RAW GM notified him of this match. 

"He seemed really angry-" 

"I don't care!" Matt yelled. "Sheesh, what's with you people!? Can't you aceept me making a decision which I can barely take without all this complaining all about it!?" 

"Well, don't blame us when Lita dies of a broken heart! You know what!? If Crash didn't get to it first, I would have asked to compete against you!" 

"Oh, yeah? Bring it on!" Matt challenged. Eric returned that with a punch to the face. 

9:38 PM: The Eyes of Righteousness entrance popped and out came D-Von in his Testify shirt and purple/gray/white Dudleyville soldier pants tucked into his 3D boots. Lilian gets him a mic, and he can speak. 

"Oh, no, tell me that I didn't see what I think I saw first!" D-Von yelled. "Now, Matt Hardy committed two sins of the world - no, wait, three sins! #1 being consulting an evil woman, which is exactly what Nidia is, #2 being masturbation, which I don't even know, because I'm not that sure whether or not touching a woman's behind would count as masturbation, but there's no need to take any chances, so I'll just count it as so, and #3 being treason! And God does not like traitors, or should I say, ricos! Benedict Arnold was a rico and he could not succeed! The Big Show was a rico and he has no title! Ric Flair was a rico and now he's fired! Rico was a rico and everybody hates him! So, if things don't get better, Matt Hardy, the most recent rico, no longer deserving of the title of Version One, will be arrested for killing Lita if she actually dies of a broken heart! Matt, what do you have to say for yourself!? You disgrace!" 

The Live for the Moment entrance popped out of nowhere, without even the connection. Matt Facts have already been displayed, so what's the point? Matt came out in the same old outfit, except this time, he has that midnight teal/gold Mattivest. Plus, he's holding a mic. 

"Hey, D-Von!" Matt responded to the Reverend of Dudleyville's comments. "Let me ask you a question: since when was it ever your business to get into!?" 

"You can kill Lita of a broken heart right now!" D-Von yelled. "In case you didn't look into the H5's locker room, she's still crying!" 

"I think I expected more discipline in the situation!" Matt yelled. 

"I just came into their room, and I asked Lita what was wrong, kid!" D-Von informed. "And she said under sobs that if you had only told her straight up, she would have set up a match teaming her and Shane against Noble and Nidia! And when I told Shane about that, he said he'd gladly agree to it, and that if you had told him, then that same match would be in stake, and that they'd give it all to win! But showing it to her and ricoing the team because of it-" 

"A win by Lita and Shane wouldn't keep lying off the record, kid!" Matt yelled. 

"You said you'd never lose Lita, and you threw her away! Isn't that a lie in its own right? And besides, I'm older than you, boy! You can't call me a kid!" 

"I mean lying off the Mattitude record! I told her she was a firecracker, already! If I didn't go by Nidia's bet, that was a lie on the Mattitude record!" 

"Which lie do you think would be worse!? A lie on the Mattitude record spoken to Nidia or a lie on the Mattitude record spoken to Lita!? I heard all about that Burger King in Phoenix, and I knew you cherished her! Now, you're going ahead and doing this!? This is ludicrous! If you two were in the nWo instead of the H5, you'd be spray-painted or locked up!" 

Instead of any entrance that would make them look like Raven's Flock, the team of Flockers came out in the nWo for Life entrance, all sporting nWo shirts and their usual backstage bottom attires. 

"Hey, yo!" Hall started on a mic. "Now, we're nWo, and we've got to settle a little wheel here. First, it's Matt Hardy, Version One. Now, I know you didn't just do that! For all I know, you could have let us win and we'd still be in DX! The very same thing happened here in a different form! Ric didn't have to be fired! We didn't have to be split! The concept of the name Raven's Flock sucks. So, as of now, we are the New World Order! Back in black!" 

"What did you come here about? To ramble about your name?" Matt questioned. 

"No. We came here to fix a few things," Hall responded. "I've already dealt with you, dorky foolhardy, so now, I'm here to settle a conflict which D-Von just put up. Now, why'd you have to mention the name nWo?" 

"I didn't even know you just turned into the nWo," D-Von said. "Besides, if Batista ricoed you, you'd automatically think to give him a Razor's Edge and then spray paint him or something!" 

"You're right, but we have to punish the both of you," Hall said. He, Raven and Victoria were in the ring with D-Von while D'Lo and Batista stayed back with Matt. Well, it's exactly as Hall said: the nWo punished both men However, the nWo members at D-Von left early and went after Matt, who was fully assaulted. 

10:21 PM: Crash's entrance popped on, and out he came in his black trunks with the light green namespace, being accompanied by cousins Hardcore and Molly. Molly sported a white no-sleeve short similar to one of The Undertaker's old A.B.A. vests and black pants, while Hardcore fixed himself up with black jeans only. Meanwhile, the Live for the Moment entrance came up, and Matt, feeling lots of pain from the nWo's thrashing, which he barely esacped alive, was slow getting to the ring and barely showed off any Mattitude. Being accompanied by Nidia (blue tied top and same short jeans) and Jamie Noble (SmackDown shirt and cut jeans), Matt immediately tried a lunge at Crash the moment he got in, and the Cruiserweight countered into a Mahistrol cradle and would have gotten the three not for Nidia's voice distracting him. Doing the same thing she did to get Matt onto this team once she got the Holly's attention, she got him immediately angry enough to start chasing after her. Suddenly, going past Noble, Nidia celebrated as Crash suffered the Tiger Bomb. Before Noble could put the 12-time Hardcore Champion into the ring to be liable to a pinfall, Hardcore and Molly attacked the trailer couple, and there was an all-out brawl outside the ring. Once Crash got back up, he immediately got into the ring and tried to set up the pained Hardy for a Crash Landing. The thing is, Matt wouldn't let Crash get the best of him that easily. He fired a low blow and immediately made it a school boy pinfall so the ref wouldn't know. It worked, and Hardy got the 1, 2, 3. The Hollys were concerned for the Cruiserweight cousin as Matt started doing a little showboating of Mattitude with his new team. 

Instead of his entrance, he heard that of The Undertaker, and out he came without his bike and started laying the thrashing on Matt, Noble and Nidia. He immediately got a mic and said that Matt was better off turning 2Xtreme again than doing what he did in terms of the teams, and that now, Mattitude was nothing but a world heavyweight disgrace to any and all special character brandings. 

Backstage, Jeff's walking to get some water for his bottle with the 2Xtreme brand on it still, and he suddenly comes across a locker room branded "Mattitrails". 

"So that's the new team," said Jeff umder his breath. He then spat at the door. 

Looks like more than the H5 offend Matt's new decision. Why would he let himself get into this kind of situation!? Matt, you should have never talked to Nidia! By doing so, you have destroyed yourself, and Lita's crying so hard she might die out of heartbreak! YOU DON'T FIX THIS RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE A KILLER! Well, step out for _Chapter 19: The Execution_. Oh, yeah, I'm not ensinuating that Matt's a dumb cheater. If there's anything I know about my favorite superstar, he's anything but an idiot or a cheater. Speaking of cheating, did you see that gimmick played by the Guerreros? Okay, back to serious business. I wanted to do this part a long time ago. Oh, yeah, you know Hogan, Goldberg and Austin were my idea because I had them in before No Way Out. 

P.S. I have match setup documents on the MS Works Word Processor on my computer, and I'm setting one up for Judgment Day (I know where I'll hold it) so I don't have to think after thinking. The next PPV is completely pre-planned. Plus, when I said that for Chapter 12, from then on, no actional course was going to alter itself with the actual WWE storyline, I meant that when that chapter was posted separately in H5 vs. DX as my first posted chapter in which it was actually 2003. 2002 was the main setup year for this whole thing, so once 2K3 came, there was no need for any more of this. I heard the Bring Me To Life theme from Evanescence, and I think I'm going to find out whether or not it's usable according to date. I really need it in this thing now, I'm under an entrance crisis since bringing the nWo! 

Oh, yeah, Mattitude is true attitude, and don't you forget it! 

Keep with the reviews, and wish me luck! 


	19. The Execution

**The Ruin of the H5**   
**Chapter 19: The Execution**

Thurday, April 24th, 2003   
Pepsi Center in Denver, CO 

9:24 AM: Matt, Noble and Nidia are all awake. Matt's bed was brought into the Mattitrails locker room. His defect is sure. He'a an undisputed rico. 

"Hey, guys, where's my daily dosage of Mattitude?" Matt asked. 

"Hey, don't start gettin' all Matty on us now," Noble warned him. 

"Let him be free to express his Mattitude or we'll simply lose this kid," Nidia countered. 

"Hey, we've all spoken right on the same round. That's not supposed to happen," Matt pointed. "But, hey, knock yourself out. This is a free team made of trailers and Mattitude!" 

Noble and Nidia then "yeah"ed at that statement. 

Meantime, over at the H5 men's room, Lita and Marissa are on their way in...wait a minute! She's still crying!? Man, this must really hurt... 

"How can any one of us believe half of this!?" Shane screamed in disgust and desperation. "I mean, Matt was such a good friend to us all, he tried a flatter to Lita, he saved their relationship by making history with the rest of us, the Showstoppers and the Team Bring It males, and now he's just going to go ahead and be a rico whenever he gets locked into a situation!? Come on! I could have challenged Noble to an IC title or pink slip match if I wanted to!" 

"Well, at least he's still him," Shannon sighed. 

"No, this is not Matt Hardy at all," Shane sterned. "He doesn't realize it yet, but he's been knocked senseless by buttocks and he's being used by Noble and Nidia just so they can actually call themselves a group! Come on! We can't just let it slide as if nothing happened!" 

"Hey, Li, you've got to stop crying," Jeff consoled. He was the only one who had noticed the girls getting in. "Listen. There are billions of other fish in the sea. And I'm one of them. So are Shane and Shannon and any other guys out there. You know there's more than one person who you can fall in love with. Take, for example-" 

"What do you want to say? Sylvester Stallone? Jean Claude Van Damme? That kid who plays Cody Banks?" Lita questioned, her voice blurred by the tear sadness. "No. I don't want any of these guys. I want Matt. I want him back." 

"You can't be so obsessed you'd let him rico you like that and still want to be with him, especially since he hasn't been in the least bit of remorse," Shane said, him and Shannon now being aware of the girls' arrival. 

"It's like I heard you say," Lita said in a confident sob statement. "He doesn't know he's being used. Once we can get somebody to get it across to him, he's coming." 

"Hey, you don't look so good," Austin suddenly burst in. 

"What do you want?" Jeff demanded. 

"Well, I think I've heard a specific redhead has been ricoed by her boyfriend," the Texas Rattlesnake answered. "Well, I think I can take care of him for you. See what I mean when I say 'Don't Trust Anybody'?" 

"Point proven," Shane strongly agreed. 

Austin left. 

"Listen!" Marissa yelled. "We've got to get it through his head that Jamie and Nidia are not his friends, and that he'd have more laughs with us in one year than with them in three! Which is obviously why she had to use her butt to get him to be a rico!" She then slapped Shannon on his left cheek. 

"Stop it with the petty excuse-" 

"And you stop it with the darn unproven accusation!" Jeff retorted. 

"Listen, he made an excuse for Matt," Marissa seriously stated. 

"Shut up! This is nothing but nonsense!" Shannon yelled. "If this is how we'll handle the situation, he's never coming back!!" 

Lita nodded at that. 

"Hey, Shannon, feel like walking around?" she then asked. "It might relieve some of this stress. Besides, we need to units to think this over." 

"All right," agreed the young former 3-Counter. 

"Why couldn't it be either of us?" Jeff asked once they left. 

"I don't know," Shane said. "Perhaps he just handles the situation more calmly. Or maybe it's that he was the last one who knew Matt before the extension's end." 

_This is my opportunity to prove that I'm not Mr. Just There on this team,_ Shannon thought, as he and Lita put arms around shoulders outside. Edge caught them on their little charade. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa," he observed. "What's going on here?" 

"We're just talking about what's been going on," Shannon said. "Or, should I say, we're planning to talk about it." 

"What's with the shoulders and arms?" Edge asked. 

"Hey, she's in some trouble, and she needs some help-" 

"You're telling me she may cry and fall about it?" Edge asked with that old grin. Neither Lita nor Shannon could tell if he was asking seriously or joking about it. 

"Come on, seriously," Edge demanded. "What's with the arms all over the shoulders?" 

"Look, there's nothing wrong with friends doing that, so could you please get out of our way?" Lita asked. 

"Oh, sure, Miss Tears of Blood," Edge sarcasted about Lita's red hair and her teary attitude which came up ever since Matt's ricoing of the team. They then went separate ways. 

"Was that blatant disrespect or what?" Shannon criticized. 

"He's just trying to cheer us up," Lita confirmed, "now will you let go before some bad guys like the Mattitrails, DX or the nWo get all worky suspicious?" She was now falling into tears. 

_She mentioned Matt,_ Shannon figured. _I'm sure that it's the mention of the Mattitrails that's got her depressed._

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!" Rock suddenly burst. 

"Hey, we don't need your senseless blabber," Shannon said. 

"Am I sensing anger here?" Rock asked. "You two are taking things too seriously right now. Rise and shine. Take a coffee break. You're not being you anymore, Lita. Come on! I'm not saying this whole thing is your fault, but if you're going to keep getting all emotional about it, soon enough, those guys are going to show up every match you have and make you cry. Speaking of matches, you're booked tonight against Bill DeMott." 

"Shut up, Rock, just SHUT UP!" Shannon yelled. "If all you came to do was talk about Matt and matches, then get away from us! If she keeps hearing or mentioning that rico, she'll cry herself to death, now SHUT UP!" 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Shannon, I never meant for you to through a temper tantrum at me, now, did I?" Rock asked. 

"I guess not," Shannon answered. "I'm getting a little carried away about this whole thing. And I'm going to beat one of those guys up right now!" He then began to storm off for the Mattitrails' locker room. 

"No, you won't," Raymond suddenly came. "Look. You attack and you'll be lifted back to the H5, the both of you, and I won't let any of you outside for the whole day and night. Got it?" 

"Well, I guess order's the best priority, huh, Shannon?" Lita asked. She noticed he wasn't even around. "Shannon?" 

She then tries to run off in the direction she guesses he's gone: the one where the Mattitrails' room is. She's no longer crying over Matt right now: her only conern is to keep Shannon out of major trouble, because not only will it hurt him, but the whole H5 in the process as far as tonight's episode of SmackDown is concerned. So, she's running in the direction of the Mattitrails' room. Shannon is stopped when he gets there, because the door's locked. Lita then yells out his name once she gets there and sees him. 

"Shannon!" 

"Huh?" He was startled that Lita caught up with him before the door came unlocked. 

"I'm pretty fast myself," she reminded him. "And I figured you'd be here. I know you want them as much as I do, but the fact of the matter is that Ray said any assaults would lead to locker room confinement-" 

"Can I help you two?" Matt opened the door. 

After seeing him, Lita burst into tears and fell on her knees. He then went over to her, kneeled down to face her and lifted her face to look straight at his. He then whispered a few sentences to her. 

"Listen. I know it's hard for you to be going through this. I know. I've done it again. I don't like this at all. I feel miserable right now. I can't even cope living myself. I can't believe I was so stupid! I thought you'd dump me or curse me out if I told you! I'm terribly sorry, Lita. I've screwed up, and now, we have to endure this hardship...if we want to live, let alone live our dream of becoming champions." 

"Matt, right now, I don't care about becoming Women's Champion or even competing in any matches anymore," Lita sobbed. "All I want now is for you to come back to me." 

"Hey, boy!" Noble threatened. "Get back in here or we'll kick your stuff out!" 

"Can't a guy have a moment here!?" Matt replied, looking back at his 'friend'. He then looked at Lita and started whispering again. "Someday, we'll be together again. But not now. Now's not the time. Someday, I'll get bored of those guys and come back to the H5. Heck, that team might be over by then. But, if you're still here, I'll come back to you as you wish. Sorry, but I have to go." 

He then gave her an embrace...the last one he'd give her at least in a long time. During it, Lita noticed that a tear was coming out of his right eye. 

"Listen, Matt, until we're back an item again...will you miss me?" Lita asked in a quiet, hopeful tone. 

"Sure," Matt brought that hope up. "You can't ever forget that. You're with me in my heart." He then got up and went back to the locker room of his new team. Well, actually, Shannon used his left hand to block Matt so he could talk to him for a moment. 

"You didn't really want to do this after all," Shannon concluded. "You felt guilty, as though you couldn't stay with us after doing something like that. You felt as though you were a shame. So, you left us bewildered, saddened, angered." 

"Which I regret, because I realize I could have handled the situation by calling on you guys to help me," Matt sadly stated. "But I was too selfish for Mattitude. I totally regret that. I want to set the record straight in the ring tonight." 

"That tear in your eye," Shannon noticed. "You still love her, right?" 

"Yeah," Matt admitted. 

"Then why don't you get away from them?" Shannon asked. 

"Mattitude again," Matt said. 

"But you did your deal, you can get out of it right now!" Shannon yelled. 

"No, I can't," Matt disagreed. "She'll still go out there and call me a liar to my face." 

"Don't worry about Nidia," Shannon said, knowing exactly who the 'she' was that Matt was talking about, and it was not the 'her' that he was talking about earlier. 

"I can't not worry about Nidia. It's not only her, it's Jamie. They'll say I was a double rico when I was dericoed if I came back over to the H5 right now. Besides, I need to get bored with them before I can leave." 

Meantime, Austin went to go talk to Taker, but his room was locked off. 

_Somethin's goin' on here,_ thought the Rattlesnake. 

Elsewhere, Shannon and Lita went to the office. 

"What can I do for you?" Raymond asked. 

"Well, for one thing, you can let in so we can ask a favor of Mr. McMahon," Shannon said. "And, for another thing, you can keep up the good work." 

"Thanks for the remark, I know it was sarcastic, but who can help it?" Ray replied as he let Lita and Shannon through. 

"What can I do for you?" Vince asked. 

"For one thing, I hear you put Lita into a match against Bill DeMott," Shannon said. 

"What about it?" the chairman asked. 

"Seeing as how everything's gone, can you please cancel the match and not assign me any matches until further notice?" Lita requested. 

"Well, that can be done," Vince said, "but the people won't really like it, because you're the one who's missing action. But, then again, the cancellation of that match reminds me of that old policy that was put up about singles intergender contact." 

"Right now, she's not in the mood for competition," Steph added to that. 

"All because of some stupid rico who had to go off and touch another woman's behind!" Eric added angrily. 

"Shut up!" Vince yelled at his assistant. Turning his attention to Lita again, he continued. "Your request is answered. Eric, make yourself useful and tell Bill he's-" 

"Not going to be competing tonight?" DeMott asked from behind in his wrestling outfit. 

"Precisely, Bill," Vince answered, noticing "Bully Demented" behind Lita and Shannon. 

3:32 PM: "That is not going to be the end of it!" Shane yelled, with all the remnants of the H5 back in that room. 

"What? But he still wants to be around me!" Lita complained. "I realize now that all I have to do is wait." 

"Wait?" Shane fumed. "Wait!? I'm sick of waiting! Damn! I'm not about to lose my best friend to some psychopaths just because a girl other than his girlfriend showed him the beehive, especially when that other girl is one of those psychopaths, and the psychopaths are Nidia and Jamie Noble!" 

"Calm down, Shane!" Shannon pleaded. "We have to let time manipulate this." 

"Listen," Shane burst. "I sure as hell don't agree with that! Nidia and Noble will never let time manipulate the process. They're going to keep trying out more things in order to make it be that Mattitude is still in their corner, and that he never gets bored from them! Now, are we going to fight back or are we going to let this slide!?" 

"I'm not for declaring war, but I see your point," Shannon supported. "I'm in!" 

The others agreed, Jeff being the most reluctant. After all, he didn't like to fight his brother. 

8:01 PM: Matt Hardy came out to the Live for the Moment entrance sporting V1 shirt, purple/gold Matt Pants, no Noble or Nidia following him and a load of Mattitude to show off! Some of the fans cheered, and some booed. But, behind all the energy, his eyes were blurred by tears. 

"You know, I sound a little bit sick," he started on a microphone. "In fact, I'm as sick as ever. Except for that emotional breakdown I had last SmackDown, I've never sounded so sick in my life." You could tell he meant emotionally sick, because he had a tearful voice. "Now, I have to set the record straight. Now, all remaining _and_ retreated Mattitude Followers, listen to this. It's not that I don't like Lita anymore, but I've had a little bit of a storm eagle to pass through. Now, as you all know, the Mattitude promotion would have gone straight down to the dark fire if I hadn't done what I did, because, many of you have criticized Mattitude for lies before the brand extension ended and Lita, Jeff and I reunited. But, there's more behind the ricoing of the H5 than that. After what happened, I couldn't hold on to myself. I couldn't bear the fact that I had actually done something like that while still remaining a member of the H5. I had to get out of there." 

Suddenly, the old Lord of Darkness entrance popped out, and would you like to know a good secret? The Undertaker's dead side awakened! With that same old zombish skin, dark soldier's shirt, long black hair and TX pants, he came out to confront Matt. 

"Now, everyone should know that my Dead charade is only for the last SmackDown and the last RAW of each month," Taker informed them. "Now that you know that, I've been plotting my first execution of the new millenium all along. Well, for once, I'm executing someone for an understandably good cause. You see, it's sick, and even I can't help but figure it. Your feelings for Lita...I think I've seen them before. But, I think I have a good conception that they've shrunk a good bit. Because if they haven't, you wouldn't have even touched that behind of Nidia's and let yourself get detracted from the team. Instead, you would have ordered her to turn back around and given her a Twist of Fate. I know you. You can't do anything right, Hardy. Now, listen. I've seen your gold, and right now, I see your chocolate. And I'm going to execute you right-" 

Suddenly, the Glass Shatters entrance goes on, and out comes Austin in the What shirt and cut jeans, microphone in hand! 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Austin started. "Undertaker! Earlier today, I promised I'd take care of this example of 'Don't Trust Anybody' myself! And you're in the damn way, now get the heck out! And as for you, Hardy, you're a perfect example of DTA! Your girl cried at least one tear every day since this has happened, and you didn't do a damn thing to stop it!?" 

"Hey, hey, hey yourself!" Matt retaliated. "I consoled her earlier today!" 

"Oh, so you did!?" Austin realized. "I bet you never said sorry, now didja?" 

"Hey, hey, hey, that I did," Matt quickly stated. Although he was telling the truth, he couldn't shake the feeling that he said it in a way which told Austin he was lying. 

"What?" Austin asked, starting one of his charades. 

"I said, I did apologize," Matt pointed, this time looking more serious and believable. 

"What??" 

"I apolo-" 

"What!?" 

"I-" 

"WHAT!?" 

Now, it was a series of What every time Matt started to open his mouth to speak. Taker then attacked Matt, giving him the Last Ride Powerbomb. He then lifted the Hardy up on his shoulders. Nidia and Noble tried to show up, but Austin did something completely psychotic: he stunned Nidia, and Noble, who went ballistic, started beating on the Rattlesnake, who then immediately bounced back and laid the trailer boyfriend in a Stunner of his own! 

Later on, once Taker got into his locker room, we see four coffins. Now, he puts Matt in position for the Tombsone Piledriver right in front of the coffin, which obviously tells spectators one thing: he was going to bury the older Hardy alive! However, Austin immediately busted into the room and started beating up on Taker! Some watching fans from the stands who saw this on the Tron began to boo, while others cheered loudly. And you know what? Right after he stunned Taker, half of the cheering population made the booing population become 75% of the fans in the arena! That's when he shook hands and hugged Matt, who had just gotten up. However, he threw Mattitude into the wall and stunned him! 

Before Austin could walk out, however, he was stopped by Lita, who clarified to him that everything he said in that ring was true. The Rattlesnake simply responded with those same three words: don't trust anybody. He then left. Noble and Nidia came and saw Lita tending to Matt in Taker's room...no, wait. Actually, they saw both buried in Undertaker coffins. They then got Matt out and Nidia punched Lita a few times with the hand that wasn't holding on to the neck. Austin then stunned Jamie and scared Nidia into faint, and the two were out again! Matt was stunned as soon as he got up! 

9:53 PM: Vince McMahon and Raymond Traylor came out in the usual outfits to the No Chance entrance. Vince held a microphone and Raymond held his night stick in hand, and if you cause chaos, he could give you the Boss Man Slam. 

"Now, I think we've all heard of everything that's gone down tonight as far as Mattitude is concerned, and now, it's time to take it from hell to business. So, you see, this next Monday night on RAW, this is what'll go down: In one corner, it will be The Undertaker! In the other corner, it will be Matt Hardy, Version One! And, in the last corner..."Stone Cold" Steve Austin! And, Raymond's Nightstick match will be reintroduced!" 

Lita suddenly popped out in poison skull top and midnight green NC pants, holding a microphone of her own. 

"What in the blue hell do you want!?" Vince asked. "Oh, yeah, you're the darkened sunshine girl, Lita. I almost forgot. Well, what brings you out here." 

"Well, I heard the match you just made, and I'd like to add one thing to it: please ban everyone from ringside, especially Noble and Nidia. I want this match to be a straight up Triple Threat, nobody involved." 

"I'll have security guard every nook and cranny," Raymond assured her. 

"Thanks," Lita replied, as she turned and left. No tears were coming from her eyes, but she was still in that same old distressed attitude. 

Well, there you have it! I think I ought to send in a few notes now. I'm trying to find another theme for Lita to be able to use as an entrance theme. And, I think I might need some help, because I'm stumped. The Bring Me To Life theme was made too late for utilization in the essence of the situation, and I need a new entrance before Lita has to be put into the ring. Oh, yeah, _Chapter 20: Austin's Strike_ is what's coming up. 

"STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN IS BACK IN MORE PLACES THAN ONE! Whoo! 


	20. Austin's Strike

**The Ruin of the H5**   
**Chapter 20: Austin's Strike**

Monday, April 28th, 2003   
Target Center in Minneapolis, MN 

1:39 PM: The H5 Team Extreme is in the Extreme men's room trying to work out what they're going to do now. 

"Well, I have no idea, for one thing," Shannon said. 

"Hold on!" Jeff burst. "I have an idea. But, we're going to have to discuss it long and hard." 

"What are you planning to do?" Lita asked. 

"Simple," Jeff said. "I interfere to help Matt kick butt." 

"Hey, that's simply not on my agenda! I'm not about to help him after what he did!" Shane yelled. 

"But hey, that's one step towards proving that we really want him here!" Jeff retorted. 

"Even counter that Raymond's coming with his guards at every nook and cranny in the arena?" Lita asked. "How are we going to be able to do that?" 

"How about I sneak under the show ring?" Jeff asked. 

"That'll never work," Shane automatically tried to discourage him. 

"If we interfere after the match, they can't do anything about it, because it's not during the match," Marissa burst. "I've got it!" 

"Fly away, flypaper!" Jeff yelled. 

"Huh?" asked the others, confused and dazed. 

"Shut up!" Show yelled, busting into the room like a madman. 

"Come on, I was kidding!" Jeff yelled. "Flypaper." 

Show then chased him. The slow giant was easily passed as Jeff made a chase. Although he was headed off by DeMott, he managed to find an opening before Show could get to it and corner him. Once the 780-pound tag team got tired, DeMott and Show stopped for some water and then went right back for their locker room. 

"Don't you know you could've gotten yourself killed!?" Lita pleaded. "Come on! I've already lost one Hardy to a tramp! I don't want to lose another to the grave!" 

"Hey, you've got to admit, he can catch you and take you down no matter how far or high you fly," Jeff said. "I've been through this myself." 

"Hey, Big Show!" they heard Noble's voice from way outside. 

"Oh, my god," Lita sighed. 

"Look, it's his fault we're even in this mess, and we've got to do something about it," Jeff said. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!" Rock suddenly burst with another of his worthless little lines. 

"What do you want?" Shannon demanded. 

"Hey, don't get all with that bad attitude on me again, Shan, I'm serious," Rock said. 

"What right do you have to tell me what to do?" Shannon asked. 

"And I thought he was the calmer one in this situation," Shane said. 

"To think that obnoxious attitude is what Lita called for a little walk this past Thursday night is absolutely beyond me," Rock stated. 

"Shut up!" Shannon yelled, ready to confront the Great One. 

Rock simply started to walk away. 

"Wait!" Lita yelled, attempting to stop him. He did stop, and he turned back. 

"What?" Rock asked. 

"You obviously came here for a reason, now spit it out," Lita said. 

"Actually, we did come over here for a reason," a familiar female voice said. Remember, The Kat gave Tori a little beating after the big match at Backlash, which obviously could tell you one thing: she was the one behind The Rock. But what was up with that? 

"What are you doing here?" Lita asked. 

"I'm coming back tonight," Kat proudly announced. "In the meantime, since you so need help, I think we'll give it to you. You see, you've got to keep making Matt look on your side and confronting those other two folks of his, Jimmy Know-It-All or whatever he's called and Newbia or what in all." 

"They're called Jamie Noble and Nidia, but thanks for picking on them," Lita smiled. "It makes me feel just a little better knowing somebody's against them." 

"I really didn't know their names, and besides, I thought it might do some good to give them an error," Kat revealed. 

"Whoa, Kat, whoa-ho," Rock interrupted. "Did you forget our main point in coming here? We need to hand out the ultimate advice. Li, come with us." 

Lita followed them into the Team Bring It locker room. 

"Hey, should we follow them?" Jeff asked. 

"Things are looking fishy," Shane said. "But, then again, Funaki fished our suspicions last time." 

"I don't think The Rock would be the kind to torment Lita," Shannon said. 

_I hope I'm right,_ he then thought. 

In the TBI room... 

"Shannon gets a creepy vibe from me being around to talk to you, don't you get it?" Rock asked. 

"What do you mean?" Lita asked. 

"He's all angry at me all over the place, what's wrong with you? Haven't you noticed anything?" 

"So Edge gives him a creepy vibe too?" 

"Who on this team knows an arse carp about Edge?" Rock asked. 

Kat and Shamrock shrugged. That's all they did. 

"Well, anyway, I may be wrong, but let's cut to the chase here. You're getting too worked up over this cheater called Hardy," Rock advised. "You can't show him how sad you are. Just act natural, be you, don't cry everywhere you go. If Noble and Nidia even care how you feel, they'll take advantage of you, Lita. Get it through your head, they care about nobody and nothing but themselves! The only thing they need out of Matt is extra help, extra commerce space, a good laugh out of a misfortune and an identity. Nothing's real when it comes to friendship with those guys. Ever noticed that Tajiri left for the new Kaientai?" 

"What does that-" 

"Have to do with it?" Rock interrupted Lita, finishing her line. "It has everything to do with it! They had a group identity with no name when Tajiri was there. When he left for the reborn Kaientai, they lost that company, they lost that damn space, they lost that identity, and they needed it back! So they decided that since they were chipped for a new group that they would chip to make a group again, and apparently, you guys seem like favorite targets for every evil plan alive. Look, just act natural. Once he sees the same old you, he'll be thinking two things which can force him back to you. First of all, he'll be missing the you he knows and loves more than ever. Second of all, he'll think that perhaps you've got a new guy or you've forgotten all about him. The thing is, that'll all make him rush back to you. Understand?" 

"I get it," Lita said, being more confident. 

"I heard everything, and I think it's splendid," Marissa said, startling the other four in the room. 

"What are you doing here?" Rock asked. "Let me guess...Marissa Mazzola-McMahon, wife of Shane McMahon and daughter-in-law of Mr. Vince McMahon, right?" 

"I see you remember me quite well," Marissa observed. 

"Oh, yes, I do," Rock said. "You went into the ring two matches, then shut that system off your books. So, how's Shane?" 

"Temperamental about losing his best friend to despicables like Nidia and Noble," Lita and Marissa answered at the exact same time...don't creep me out, please. Just don't creep me out! 

"I heard that, and I say you make him think you've gotten over it-" 

"You repeated what I just said-" 

"It doesn't matter what I repeated!" Shamrock yelled, using the People's Champion's own line on him. 

"Hey, that was good, Ken, try me again," Rock complimented with a laugh. 

"No, thanks, I'm here for serious mode." 

"So, was that it?" Lita asked. 

"I guess so. You can go now," Kat answered. 

"Thanks for the help, guys. See you later," Lita said. 

"You can talk to us anytime," Rock said. The two shook hands, then Lita and Marissa left back to the H5's room. 

Meantime, Trish and Edge are just walking along, when they spot Matt walking right past them. 

"Hey, Matt! Get back here!" Edge commanded. He and Trish stopped. Matt stopped and turned right back to them. 

"The day you yell at me like that again-" 

"I had reason, you rico," Edge said, interrupting Matt. "Listen. I have sources from Phoenix, and what I understand is you were trying to flatter Lita with poetry at a Burger King restaurant over there. And now, you're gonna just betray her like that? Have you no moral sense? She's crying all over." 

"Hey, I talked to her this past Thursday," Matt said. "Please get out of my way, she knows I miss her a lot-" 

"Oh, really?" Trish interrupted. 

"I hate being interrupted, now stop it," Matt ordered. 

"Well, you're going to have to deal with it," Trish trashbacked. "Because as far as I can understand, you're destroying the heart of one of my friends. And I don't like it when people hurt my friends. So if you please, I think I have something for you." 

She then slapped him hard on the cheek. He immediately recouperated and chased her, and she ran behind Edge, who was speeding ahead of them. Suddenly, Edge turns back the other way, passes Trish and spears Matt! 

"Don't you dare say we wanted to do this!" Edge yelled at a downed V1 before he and Trish walked away. Christian showed out of nowhere and gave him the Unprettier for good measure. 

"You better stop it right now!" Raymond yelled, who was walking over to Christian. "What just happened?" 

"What just happened is that we confronted Matt because of what he did to Lita a week ago," Christian informed. "Trish and Edge had a few words for him, and then, Trish slapped him. He ran after her all over the place, she was following Edge, and no one seemed to notice I was behind Matt. Suddenly, once he gets far ahead enough, he turns back and gives Matt a spear right next to this door. His head hits it a little bit-" 

"Which brings me out of my room," Rey Mysterio suddenly burst from outside his locker room. "I see there's been a fight goin' on around here, right?" 

"Can you please not interrupt me?" Christian asked. "Anyway, then, I took the opportunity to give him the Unprettier." 

"Vince just made a match for you and Edge to rematch Los Guerreros for the Tag Team Titles, but once I tell Vince, he'll be happy to unbook it. But, he might give you the match anyway, seeing as how you were so honest and all." 

"Uh, what happened again?" Mysterio idiotically asked. 

"What do you mean what happened?" Christian questioned. "You heard me crystal clear when I told Ray what happened, and now you're asking me-" 

"Cut it!" Rey ordered. "I know what happened, and I think I've got a plan to take care of it...personally." 

Rey walked over, mask and all, into the Corporate Office, closely followed by the Boss Man himself, the head security officer of WWE, Raymond Traylor. 

"What summons you here?" Vince asked. 

"While I may have a Cruiserweight championship under my belt, what I don't have is an opportunity to get something off my chest about this whole Mattitrails situation," Rey answered. "I seriously think Matt's gone cuckoo...well, not really. But I think I'm about to put him out of his misery...no, not that way. I mean I'll have to beat him back to the H5. You see, I've got a little sneak plan. How about this: I team with Spike and Shannon against Matt, Noble and a partner of their choice, this Thursday night on SmackDown. And if we beat them, Matt has to come back to the H5 before Indy Week and he cannot leave for Noble and Nidia again." 

"You know what?" Vince said. "That's a good idea. Besides, according to what we know, Matt would love to lose that match. Although I seriously don't like this one bit, I can't really do anything about it because of my interest of fairness and the employee's policy that they may protest to an attorney at any time if their boss treats them unfairly for no decent reason. Now, you must know that I had a list of people I couldn't _stand_ here which consisted of Rock, Hogan, Undertaker and Austin. Now, as much as I want to order Matt to come back to Lita as a condition of employment, I don't want to make him OR ANYBODY ELSE hate me enough for me to revise that list. Now, if you please, this is most likely the only valid solution. Plus, as for tonight's match, Matt vs. Taker vs. Austin, I think I have a little secret to reveal as a McMahon plan. Should be fair enough, but it'll harm all three men's chances. You'll find out later...as in tonight. Now, can you go off to nowhereland? You have a title to defend tonight against X-Pac tonight." 

The Man of Mystery left off to do his own bidding...um, I meant training. Don't mind me, I just like to use those theoretical phrases...SHUT UP! 

Sorry. 

Anyway, enough stupid ranting, and... 

10:41 PM: The Lord of Darkness entrance comes off and out comes The Undertaker in that old black robe. Once he comes into the ring, he removes the robe and reveals TX long tights, an old pair of boots, and the dark soldier's armor shirt...just like last week. Once he's done, the glass shatters, and out comes Austin to his own theme, and he's sporting the vest and a pair of cut jeans to go with those knee braces and boots, and he's ready to raise some insanity. Once Austin's done showboating, he and Taker have a few words...they were negative and ugly, but none went as far as profanity. Suddenly, they stopped and looked with more disgust at the top of the ramp of RAW than they did at each other when the Mattitude connection started up and the Live for the Moment theme got underway, because Matt showed up with not only the V1 shirt and purple/gold Matt Pants, but he also had Jamie Noble out there with him. Noble sported a flannel vest and a pair of cut jeans of his own. 

Suddenly, something that came as a surprise to all who were not Rey Mysterio or any Corp Office members: Vince McMahon came out in suit to the No Chance theme. 

"Well, I know you guys are surprised to see me ghere, and I surprised myself with a plan out of a chat. Well, you see, this match is no longer a Triple Threat, but it's still a Security Nightstick match, as Raymond'll come out with the guards as soon as this fourth participant is introduced. Introducing, a powerful yet underestimated bullish character of 280 pounds, the nWo's own, "Bully Demented" Bill DeMott!" 

The nWo for Life entrance came about, and out came DeMott in an nWo shirt cape over his wrestling outfit, and Show had a pair of black pants with a sleeveless nWo shirt tucked in. It was clear to all that Bill DeMott and The Big Show had joined this third unit of New World Order. DeMott literally ripped off the shirt cape when he reached the bottom of the ramp. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Vince said. "Now, this is supposed to be straight up fair, so now, all security, including Ray, just get on out, get Noble and Show out of here, and then guard every nook and cranny of the arena!" 

Vince's order was followed, and Raymond, who was obviously refereeing this match, ordered it to start. At the sound of the bell, all four men went at it, Matt trying to attack Taker and DeMott getting his beehive handed to him by Austin. Soon, the emperor of the darkness grew tired of the weak punches he was receiving to the face, and he proceeded to immediately attempt to chokeslam Matt, who got immediate boos at a low blow. Raymond then got his nightstick from his shirt pocket and hit Matt in the head with it, knocking him out. 

_Man, I almost blew it,_ the guard thought. _I guess I'm so angry at him I can make him bleed if I get in one more inch of strength._

Taker then immediately picked up the Hardy and set him up for a move he invented as the Badarse...remember, I hate profanity, so bear with the improvisation. Anyway, I'm talking the Last Ride Powerbomb. He then went to cover him, but Austin, who had gotten ready to stun DeMott, had stopped in the midst to break up the count. Austin then started beating on both the Dead Man and the 280-pound underrated bully. Taker was getting stomped, DeMott was getting punched. When the Executioner got back up, they were both being clotheslined down. Matt was taking damage in unconsciousness, because Taker kept falling over him. Suddenly, both men get ready for a double clothesline, but they end up hitting each other. Taker, however, quickly gets up, and he and Austin are now in a staredown. Suddenly, Taker pushes Austin, and the Texas Rattlesnake, angry as always, charges after him with a clothesline, but is responded to with a drop toe hold from Taker. The Undertaker then picks Austin up and sets him up for a Chokeslam from Hell, a move he and Kane invented...him first, just like the Tombstone Piledriver, which he used to shut Matt and Lita into those caskets this past Thursday night on SmackDown. But the rattlesnake counters with a Stunner! Now, DeMott's back up, and he's starting to lay Austin to the wayside with a few punches. Irishwhipping "Stone Cold" into the turnbuckle, DeMott runs after him to make him a turnbuckle clothesline sandwich. However, Austin got out, and DeMott, trapped in the corner, received a world heavyweight trap of chops before countering one into an armbar. Austin was too close to the ropes: he got there, and Raymond ordered DeMott to break the hold. However, DeMott didn't listen, so he expected a five count. However, Ray just shut it and he didn't get it, so he thought Ray was letting him get away with it, when after two seconds, bang. Night stick. He's not exactly out, he's down in pain. Austin goes to cover Taker like an idiot, but the Dead Man's shoulders are not down, because he stepped all over Matt Hardy! While Austin's arguing with Raymond, Matt slinks up from under Taker and when Austin turns around, Mr. 3:16 is walking straight into a midsection shot and a Twist of Fate. Speaking of Undertaker, he gets up after Austin miraculously kicks out after two! "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's laying a can of whiplash all over Matt Hardy when he suddenly gets the Chokeslam from Hell. Matt tries to go for the Twist of Fate, but Taker pushes him into an irishwhip. DeMott then gets up and clotheslines Taker. Matt's running to him in the whip, so he gets knocked down. DeMott then gets in the Demented Powerbomb to Matt and thinks he has a successful cover, but The Undertaker's back up, and it's time for pain! Taker immediately rips DeMott off Matt. "Bully Demented" lands outside the ring, as he's thrown over the ropes. Taker tries to pick Matt up for the Tombstone, but he gets a low blow. Matt puts him into Twist of Fate position and performs the move. However, DeMott goes right back in and steals the pin! 1, 2, Matt broke it up. Remember, this is not elimination, so the first person to get someone to tap or pin someone 1, 2, 3, wins the match. Suddenly, Austin gets up and starts laying the can of whiplash all over Matt and DeMott _again_! Three punches to DeMott, then Matt gets up, then it's clothesline 3:16 all over the place. Austin then stuns Matt after knocking DeMott down once, and finally, the demented one gets a Stunner of his own! Undertaker rises up as if from the grave, but is met with a Stunner as well! Austin then can't decide who to cover for the win: he's hit all three men with Stunners just now. Taker's gone disgustingly dead again, plus he got in Austin's way. Matt proved the line "Don't Trust Anybody" to Austin by riciong the H5, and DeMott's a part of the nWo. Oh, well. He was going to take Matt. 1, 2, barely, but the elder Hardy kicked. Then, he had to get Taker. 1, 2, nope. DeMott got up as well as Matt and Taker, whom he double clotheslined out of the ring. Austin then Stunned him again and covered him, 1, 2, 3! As Austin's theme is on, the Rattlesnake celebrates victory while Raymond hits Matt with the night stick for his...two low blows, I think. Somebody tell me, I'm too lazy to go back into context. 

Suddenly, the security's gone, and Jeff immediately ruishes in to attack Austin. Demonstrating all his daredevil moves while trying to avoid hitting his brother and the Boss Man, Jeff made long work of the three Heavyweight division superstars. He then extended his hand to Matt, who was getting up. Matt simply walked the other way. Sporting an opposite color of the November Spike Pants and a shirt of his picture again, Jeff wanted to look identical to his brother to prove himself to him. However, Matt refused to take the hand when it was oiffered and turned away in order to get up. Shane and Lita then came out, both sporting the exact same things **over again**. They then tried to get their points across to Matt, protesting the move he made last week, and Matt took a mic in order to respond. But before he could, Noble and Nidia showed up at the tron from outside the Mattitrails' room. 

"Hey, boy! What're you doin'!?" Noble yelled. 

"In case you didn't know, I'm trying to help my brother out!" Jeff yelled back at him. 

"No, really, why so?" Nidia ordered. 

"You guys aren't his friends. You're only using him for a group identity, extra company and a third cheaterbox," Lita protested. "That's all you ever wanted. Oh, yeah, and if it weren't for your butt, Matt and I could be kissing right now. I'm not about to cry about it anymore, but the fact that you didn't come right after the match like us to save him means that for all you care, he could have been left in the rubble with no help and you wouldn't go out there. You're afraid of The Undertaker. You're scared of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. You tremble at "Bully Demented" Bill DeMott. But we actually came down to help. You're no true friends. You're nothing but cowards, implants and beehive. We're true friends, because we came to help." 

Matt just responded to all this by walking backstage, not wanting to hear anymore of this. He felt like crying, but that would screw everything. That would make Noble and Nidia get suspicious, and one way or another...they'd know of his encounter with Lita and Shannon at Denver. They'd kick him out, but...wait a minute. They already do know! So what was keeping him from bursting into tears. Oh, yeah. He remembered perfectly. He was enduring the hardship in order to live. 

Meanwhile, The Undertaker got right back up and then sent hell to the three H5 members. Uh, do I need to explain this one? 

Once he was done with Jeff, Shane and Lita's decimation, he took the mic and made an announcement. 

"I've decided that I'll be staying Dead for awhile." 

That being done, Taker heard the Lord of Darkness entrance go on and he then did the old execution sign and left. 

The Undertaker sure doesn't look like he totally respects the antics of Mattitude...and with good reason. I so want to finish this angle! So, we're headed to _Chapter 21: Leaving_. 

Later, guys! 

Oh, yeah... 

MATTITUDE IS TRUE ATTITUDE, AND DON'T YOU PEOPLE FORGET IT!! 


	21. Leaving

**The Ruin of the H5**   
**Chapter 21: Leaving**

Thursday, May 1st, 2003   
Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis, MN 

10:57 AM: Nidia's the first one awake among Mattitrails. She has some kind of smirk on her face as she slinks past both Matt and Noble. 

_Lita's gonna get it from those comments,_ she thought. _She's gonna get it. Nobody tells me and Jamie what we are, especially not an idiot like Lita. We took her treasure, now she's gonna just jump up and disrespect us anytime she wishes? No. I'm not taking it. I'n going to defend my crew with this scheme, even if it means I'm injured._

With those words in her head, she slinked over to the Extreme women's room. Lita and Marissa were just talking about Matt and Shane a little bit when Nidia rushes in to beat Lita up. Both opposing women are startled of feeling hurt. Marissa's pain hurts the most because she's not fit for wrestling as the other two are. Well, Nidia's _barely even_ fit for it, unlike those old Tough Enough days. She ought to thank Al, because if it weren't for him, she wouldn't even be here! He, Tazz and the other trainers never even figured this kind of thing would happen to her. I can see their idiot faces now, claiming that she deserved nothing which she received. Not really, but she's barely even in any matches. Anyway, during her ambush of Lita and Marissa, Trish was walking along, and she saw it. Disgusted, Trish rips Nidia off her inter-group friends. 

"What are you doing?" Trish asked, confronting Nidia outside that door. "Neither Jamie nor Matt is even up, and you're doing this to Lita. Don't you know that if she got injured, you'd be sued a thousand dollars from your contract, and I'm sure you don't want that to happen. Besides, she and I are friends, now go back to that locker room where you came from with your boyfriend and that...TRAITOR!" 

Nidia slapped Trish, then walked away. Lita immediately screamed at Trish not to go ahead and attack because the exact same thing might happen to her instead. 

It took a while, but Trish calmed down and came in to chat. 

"How's everything with Edge?" Lita asked. She knew Trish had a crush on Edge ever since that day which came full of "just bring it" surprises. She couldn't get it out, so it was apparent already. The crowd was taking photos of Trish crying because she couldn't tell it to Edge. And here she was, with a down expression on her face, because Lita had asked her about that guy, and as far as she knew, she still couldn't get it out of herself to Edge, which is what she really wanted to do. 

"What's the matter?" Lita asked. Trish wasn't talking. 

"I still didn't tell him yet," Trish admitted after a while. 

"I know how that feels," Lita informed. "In fact, if it weren't for defeating Dean, perhaps Matt and I would never know our feelings and we'd never be together. Look, I know what'll happen. I grew to like Matt for some time now after I'd defeated Rios. It suddenly went deeper with me, and I couldn't hold on after the Malenko match. We ended up kissing in the middle of the ring, it was so awesome that he had the same feelings for me as I had for him. But now, he's gone. Don't worry, Trish. Someday, you'll have to explode your feelings out to Edge, and he'll tell you whether or not he loves you just as well." 

"Isn't that going a bit overconfident, Lita? What if he grows to hate me after I say it?" Trish asked. 

"If you want to get it off your chest, stop thinking about all the possible negatives," Lita advised her. "Are you going to just sit around imagining of how it could be if you told him and he actually did have those feeling for you? Are you just going to be jealous of me and Matt when we get back together? I know it'll happen, don't ask, but I have the feeling that he's coming back to me. Anyway, let me continue. Are you just going to sit around jealous of all relationships or are you going to do what Matt and I did and live for the moment?" 

"But what if-" 

"Shut it, Trish. If you keep thinking what if, then you'll be an old woman and he still won't have heard it come straight from you. You're no Mattitude follower, but you have to tell him." 

"I'm afraid of-" 

"You're always afraid, Trish," Lita snapped. "I understand why you haven't kissed him yet. You're too scared to tell him yourself. If he likes you as well, it's a good thing, not only for you two, but for the Red Brood. You know too well you can trust Chris and Christian not to pick on you two. Maybe they'll call you lovebirds, but that'll be about it. You weren't afraid of stealing Over the Edge from them, were you?" 

"That's a different story-" 

"Just tell him. The worst he can do is say he doesn't like you." 

"That's what I'm af-" 

"raid of, right?" Lita interrupted again. "Look, at least he doesn't hate you. Look at it that way. You feel so strongly for him he'll have to be at least your friend once he hears you out. Maybe that's not exactly what you're looking for, but it's something. If he hated you, if you weren't half welcome, somebody would have kicked you out." 

"What if I'm only there because I'm a blond Canadian?" Trish asked. 

"Nonsense," Lita sterned. "If that were it, Test would be in there. He's blond. He's from Toronto. But do you see his face in the Red Brood? No. You see his face with Albert and John Cena in T&A." 

"He didn't-" 

"STOP CREATING EXCUSES!" Lita yelled. "You're trying dsperately to eject him from your heart because you're scared, but you know you love him and you can't get him out. He's glued in, and you want him out. The thing is, you have to stop it. You have to tell him." 

_Gosh, this is going to be harder than I thought,_ she thought with a sign. 

"Loiok, I don't want to spend 50 hours on this," Lita said. "And, as I can tell, nor do you. So can we talk later?" 

"Okay," Trish said. 

Coming out... 

_She's right,_ Trish thought. _I am trying to vacuum him and spray him out, and I did glue him into my heart. I need to tell him before he goes on a nervous breakdown. But I just can't bring myself. Not now. Not yet._

Meanwhile, Mattitrails room... 

Matt and Noble got up and heard of Nidia's mess. They didn't scold her or anything: they just threw a temper tantrum against Trish. Well, Matt didn't. Noble did. 

Elsewhere, Rey Mysterio's locker room... 

"Hey, listen up," Mysterio started. Spike and Shannon were in. "I got Mr. McMahon to set up this match. Spike, I don't know if you want to be in it: you might feel like you have nothing to do with any of this mess." 

"Oh, but I don't," Spike said. "Nor do I think it's right. I'm in." 

"And Shannon, I know you want to get Matt back to your team, right? Well, you're going to have to bear with me. Now, I assure you, if there's anyone I know Jamie'll pick, it's Bill DeMott, who likes to pick on the smaller guys, so we need to be careful, okay?" 

Spike and Shannon agreed. They've seen DeMott from that match back then. 

"Both teams know it?" Rey asked. His cruiserweight partners nodded. "Oh, yeah, Shannon, I found out of Marissa's stupid search mistake. Tell her that Rios and UD were never one and the same." 

"What are you-" 

"That error was before you joined, according to what I know." 

"Oh." 

Minutes later in the Mattitrails' room... 

"What are you doin'?" Noble asked. He obviously was concerned about Matt, who was just sitting down, head down. 

"I can't hold on to life like this," Matt said. "I just can't. Excuse me for a moment, please." 

He then got up. 

Meanwhile, H5 room... 

"I hate that Undertaker!" Jeff yelled. "I'm trying to help my brother realize that we're his friends and not them, and he has to beat us up!? Damn him!" 

"Calm down!" Shane responded. "I'm sick of the whining!" 

"I just can't help it! Taker's not supposed to be doing this to us! We're trying to get him back, and then, we're beat up! I hate Taker!" 

"No, you don't, you're going mad-" 

"And you! You were the most fragile one in there and you're not mad!?" he yelled, interrupting Lita. 

"That's because I know he was sick of us kissing up to him!" Lita yelled. 

"You guys don't stop this, I might as well cancel what I just had PLANNED!" Matt yelled. 

"What are you doing here? You didn't see what The Undertaker did to us, didja?" Jeff demanded. 

"No, I didn't, but I was wondering if we could take a trip back home," Matt said. 

"Shut up!" Jeff yelled. 

"Uh, didn't you hear what I said?" Matt asked. 

"Yeah, I heard it. I was just going mad about-" 

"My attack this past Monday night?" Taker asked. He just came out of nowhere himself. 

"Of course!" Jeff yelled. "Why wouldn't I get mad!?" 

"If you realized that you were kissing up to this guy as usual, even after he betrayed you, then maybe this kind of thing wouldn't have happened," Taker said. 

"Why, you little runt!" Jeff yelled. 

"I'm no little runt, now if you want me to repeat what I did, keep getting mad," Taker dared the devil, so to speak. 

"Jeff, calm down and pack your bags!" ordered Matt. 

"Don't you think Vince should know about this?" asked Jeff. 

"Good idea, let's go over there and tell him," agreed Matt. 

They then went to the Corporate Office. 

"The Hardy Boyz!" exclaimed Vince in surprise. 

"Wow, I never expected to see you two together ever since you know what," admitted Eric. 

"Well, we're here, and we'd like to take a temporary leave of absence, please," requested Matt. 

"Sure," Vince agreed. "But just one thing: don't waste the world's time while you're away, okay?" 

"I follow," Matt answered. 

"Now, if you're planning to leave, you might as well pack your bags. Oh, yeah, and make sure to come back before SuperBrawl in June. I don't know when the first SuperBrawl took place. I hope we get that fixed for the number. We're going to have two flagships. Oh, yeah, one more thing: we're going to hold a battle royal at Judgment Day." 

"Okay, thanks a lot," Matt said. They then started packing their things under huge protest from each group. 

At 7:42, they had everything. They decided that they might as well hurry before SmackDown goes on, so they each bought a soda can from the machine for $.50 each, and then, they departed. 

8:03 PM: The No Chance entrance theme came about, and out came Vince and Raymond again. They wore the very same things they always wear. Vince gets a mic and speaks these words: 

"Now, it's a strange thing that I would be coming out here at the beginning of SmackDown, but to tell you the truth, this is an important announcement to put in WWEMattitude.Com! (audience boos) The thing is, Matt and Jeff Hardy came to the office earlier today and told us they wanted to take a leave of absence. They packed all their items: bottles, clothes, magazines, books, whatever they could have, they packed it all up tonight, so we won't be having that Spike, Shannon and Mysterio vs. Matt, Noble and Rios match. Matt and Jeff wish for WWE programming to continue without them for the time being, for they have a few things to handle privately. No, no, no, no, no, you sickos! Not like that! I mean **_SERIOUS_** matters! Now, if you please, the world will be at hand. Now, before I hurry up, I'd like to call out four people to come out at the exact same time. No music, no fanfare, no nothing. Maybe cheering from the crowd, but no more! I'm calling out "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan! I'm calling out The Rock! I'm calling out The Undertaker, and I'm calling out none other than..."STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN!!!" 

The four of them came out. The Rock wore Just Bring It shirt and double-whitelined black beltless pants, The Undertaker wore the same thing as before, Steve Austin wore the What? shirt and cut jeans and Hulk Hogan wore the Hulkamania shirt and black pants along with his Hulkamania bandana. 

"Now, the four of you are going to agree with me when I say it is best to get along with your boss, right? So why is it that at one point or another, I have hated one of you!? Okay, I get it. I was helping Triple H, so you two couldn't stand me, Rock and Austin. Hogan, I was just sick of Hulkamania's age, and Undertaker, the Ministry of Darkness and the Corporation were completely hectic. So, because of all that, one of you was my enemy at one damn point or another. Now, this is the rule that will make it be that you don't hate me again and that nobody back there hates me again! And I forgot about calling Triple H. _Especially_ forgot about calling Triple H. No, no, no, don't bother coming out, but this goes for you as well. If anybody back there treats me - not one of my decisions, but _me_ - with anything worse than respect, then it'll be automatic: YOU'RE FIRED!!! Don't worry, that was no termination, that was a warning. More will go around, but I'm sure someone's going to break the automatic respect rule. You guys can go now." 

The No Chance entrance came about and all six left: well, Raymond was standing in the back waiting for anything bad to happen. Nothing did, and they went to their separate rooms. 

8:52 PM: The Lord of Darkness entrance came about, and out came the Dead Man, wearing the same everything. Robe not included. Noble's entrance came about, and he came accompanied by Nidia, who was wearing a long blue tied top and those same jeans as always. Noble was wearing cut jeans to go with those pads and boots. 

Taker was simply taking it to Noble. This match was very easy. First, they started on a grapple. Then, Taker lifted Noble in that position and brought him down hard, and his feet lost banace. He fell. That was a front grapple atomic drop. Taker then picked up Noble for a scoop slam. He then got the cover on the former 5-month Cruiserweight Champion, who kicked out after the count of two. Noble began to punch Taker once he was on his knees. The Dead Man's gut was a bit hurt. Noble got back up with a few punches to the face, but they barely had any impact on Undertaker, who pushed him down to the ground. Noble felt like running away, but Nidia told him that if he had any Mattitude, he wouldn't leave the match. Noble decided she was right. He got back up after a one-second good-luck kiss and suffered the Chokeslam from Hell. 1, 2, Nidia did the same thing she had done to Matt and Crash. She then ended up running for her life. She knew she'd be buried alive if she didn't run away from The Undertaker. While she was faster than him, she was oblivious to the fact that Kane was coming down in his new fit. Next thing you know, Nidia ran right to him frantically and she got choked. Kane decided to give her the Chokeslam when he got her to the ramp. Nidia's back was broken - that was the forgone conclusion from that hit. Noble got up and challenged Taker for what his unactual brother did. Once Taker got up on the apron and back into the ring, Noble then gave him a front dropkick. He felt a little awkward because it had little effect and because he didn't hear Nidia's come-onning voice. He then clotheslined Taker out of the ring and flew out himself out of anger. Both men were down outside. Kane was looking coldly at Nidia as she was being carried by the EMTs. The two opponents got up, and Taker did the same thing to Noble as Kane did to Nidia. He then pulled Noble's jeans and hair to get him into the ring...boy, that hurt. Then, it was time for the Tombstone Piledriver and then he got in the TX cover pinfall. 1, 2, 3! The Lord's theme got on again and he carried Noble on his shoulder. SmackDown went into commercial stage. 

9:00 PM: The Undertaker had Jamie Noble in position for another Tombstone with a coffin on the ground before the Dark Executioner's foot. He then delivered Noble the move and shut the coffin. He then looked for the hospitalization room, where Arn Anderson and few doctors were looking at Nidia. He immediately pushed off Anderson, ignored the doctors' protests, and took Nidia from her hospital bed. Then, Taker laid her on the ground in his room and he locked it so no one could get in. Once he got another coffin down, he picked up the Noble one to an area no-one smaller than Kobe Bryant could reach. Nidia fell into consciousness and screamed for help. However, Taker had the second coffin open and he set her up. She then got Tombstoned into it. Taker shut and raised that one. He then unlocked his door, went across the hall and used his so-called "powers" to set fire to the Mattitrails' room. He then went into his own and rested confident. It took about 45 minutes to put the massive deadfire out. 

GOD! That was sick! But, they got what they deserved. Matt leaves, then they get thrashed by the Brothers of Destruction who aren't really brothers. 

Stay tuned for _Chapter 22: Heavy Fact_. Whatever the heavy fact is, you'll love it if you're a Mattitude Follower...I've been waiting to do this!!! 

Oh, yeah. 

MATTITUDE IS TRUE ATTITUDE, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!! Would you guys please just REVIEW!?!? 


	22. Heavy Fact

**The Ruin of the H5**   
**Chapter 22: Heavy Fact**

Ah, a few speaking grammer editions are being put into all the chapters and are going to be used. Find the deception...I mean difference, but DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!! Oh, yeah, and I've seen that the tables don't actually work on the site. Plus, I think I should rename the old theme of Undertaker, because it doesn't sound right saying it's that of the entire Ministry, because that's not even around. Looks like I'll have to use my contingency plans... 

Monday, May 5th, 2003   
Resch Center in Green Bay, WI and Hardy Boyz' House in Cameron, NC 

10:34 AM: Inside the Hardyz' house, Matt had awoken from bed. He was wearing short jeans and nothing more, as was his brother Jeff: it had been a long ride, plus it was pretty much hot outside. Immediately, Matt decided to go into the bathroom. He locked it up wisely, knowing someone could be snooping, and if YOU PEOPLE ARE FANTASIZING YOU KNOW WHAT OF MATT HARDY, THEN SHUT UP!!! 

Sorry for being so loud, I just don't want the ultimate disrespect to be issued to Mattitude. Anyway... 

We head immediately to the H5's locker room. They once had two separate rooms: men's and women's. But when everything got ruined inside the Mattitrails' room, the H5 was then forced to give up the Women's room to that team, because it was for sympathy of them and disgust for the Mattitrails that The Undertaker had done what he had done this past Thursday night on SmackDown. Oh, yeah, and for another reason which will be figured here... 

"Why would Vince punish us for it?" Lita asked. "It just doesn't make sense. We know he's trying to get them a room, because theirs burned up. We know Matt took his room bed with him because Jeff took his. Well, didn't he?" 

"Exactly, that doesn't make sense," Shane pointed out. "We didn't do it." 

"Hold on, I think I've got it! He was only trying to do it in the fairest way possible," Marissa figured. 

"That's right, we had two rooms," Shannon added. "Besides, Taker's actions were an attempt to help _us_. I get all of Vince's punishment. Which isn't what it really was." 

"I just hope that whenever the Hardyz come back that they're both back on our side," Lita said. 

"Girl, what'd I tell you about that sucka yesterday?" Booker T asked from nowhere. 

"You mean when we were on the plane, right?" Lita asked to be sure. 

"Yeah. I told you Matt Hardy was nothin' but a sucka who just wants to attack any behind his eye catches onto. I said that he don't know what real love is, and he never will know until he gets beat up by somebody who knows it. And it ain't gonna be me, 'cause I have no time for any mess. NOW, CAN YOU DIG THAT!?!?" He then left. 

"Uh, Booker, what about the final word?" Shane asked. 

"SUCKA!?!?!?!?!?!?" he burst right back. This time, he left for good. 

"I seriously don't get him sometimes," Shannon admitted. 

"He used to be the head wrestler in WCW during the Alliance line, and I once teamed with him against The Rock in a World Title handicap match when it was the WCW Heavyweight Championship," Shane said. "I quite remember the old days. Unforgiven 2001, he whipped us." 

"But now, Book's gone better, and he told me yesterday that-" 

"SHUT UP!" Booker's voice came from outside. Apparently he told Lita a secret which she forgot was a secret for the moment. Whatever it could be, she almost spilled it. 

"I won't ask," Shane promised. 

"Thanks," Lita approved. 

"Well, the world's about to come to an end, so why don't we just kill it?" Shannon asked. 

"Um, you're kidding," Lita assumed. "Right?" 

"Obviously," Shannon felt as if that was supposed to be a forgone conclusion. 

"How was I supposed to know that was a joke?" Lita complained. 

"Could we really destroy the world?" Shannon asked. 

"Okay, you're right, we can't," Lita admitted. "But it would be fun to try." 

"You turning into Jeff?" Shane asked. 

"Absoluely not," Lita smirked. 

At the office... 

"I don't get it," Eric complained. "I mean, why would Matt and Jeff leave together after what's happened? It _so_ doesn't make sense." 

"Can you please get off that, Eric?" Vince ordered him in the form of a question. 

"Yes, sir," he quickly responded. 

"Well, we might as well get on with what we're planning on doing tonight," Vince suggested. 

Meanwhile, at the Hardyz' place... 

"Well, I'm up," Jeff said yawning. He just got up about six minutes ago, and he really seems tired. After all, they barely got any rest, so it'll take a few yawns until he gets back to full strength. 

"What are you doing? I'm left here with all this dust and you're not doing anything!" Matt yelled to his younger brother. 

"Well, it's not my fault I couldn't sleep at all!" Jeff complained. 

"You could have at least said something!" yelled Matt. 

"I tried and you said shut up," Jeff muttered. 

"Why do I always do that!?" Matt cried. 

"Shut up!" Jeff yelled. "Sheesh! I get the day off today." 

"Don't even think of it," Matt threatened before dusting the living room again. "Maybe I'll give you a half-hour off." 

That'll be more than long enough, Jeff thought to himself. 

"That'll be what?" Matt asked. 

"Matt, shut up," Jeff commanded playfully. 

The Hardyz ended up having a chase around the room, and Matt was once hit the wall trying to catch his brother. 

"Whoa, are you okay?" Jeff was concerned of his brother. "Well, it goes to show you. Don't decide to just go after your brother at any point in time." 

"Owwww!!!" Matt grimaced in pain. "Get out!" 

"What?" Jeff questioned the judgment. 

"OOOOUUUUTTTT!!!!" Matt repeated. 

Ouch! he thought to himself. 

"Well, it's not my fault you chased me," Jeff spat back at him before he changed his mind. 

"Shut up!" Matt yelled. 

Jeff simply decided to get back to sleep: he wasn't going to stay awake for something so useless as an argument. 

3:23 PM: Shane decided he should call Matt or something, so he took out his cell phone and dialed Matt's cell number. For this little phone chat, I'll just put the name, a colon, and then what they say until the chat ends. 

Matt: Hello? 

Shane: Matt, it's me. Jamie's unnaturally better in happiness and normality and worse in attitude since you've left, and Nidia seems a bit angry at him about it. 

Matt: What? 

Shane: Really. Just yesterday, Edge tried to talk to him, and he ignored him. He's been telling Nidia how great he feels, and she's got that angry stare in her eyes. 

Matt: Well, what should I care? How do I know this isn't just a trick to get me to come back? 

Shane: Look, if you don't want to talk to any of us again, then just say so! 

Matt: Give me a break! Can you please get off if you're going to be rambling? Cause Jeff and I are at a autograph signing. 

Shane: Well, excuse me for wanting to give you information. 

Matt: Can you tell Li something for me? 

Shane: What? 

Matt: Tell her I love her. 

Shane: And all the while, I thought you were just being arrogant with us. 

Matt: Did Shannon try to tell you? 

Shane: I wasn't about to listen to either of those two, but I see it's the truth. So you just didn't feel as though you belonged with us after doing that, right? You thought Mattitude was about to be dead, is that correct? 

Matt: That's about it. 

Shane: Oh, well. I guess it's hopeless. You might as well stay with them when you come back. 

Matt: What do you mean? Don't you want me back on the team? 

Shane: Yeah, I do, but I don't think you'll be that happy when you come back. 

Matt: I hate it over there, I never know what's going on. 

Shane: What are you talking about? 

Matt: I'll talk to you later, okay? 

Shane: You got several people in the line? 

Matt: Yeah. Well, later. 

Shane: Right, bye. 

Matt: Okay, bye. 

They both hung up, and I'm headed for the Marshall's in which they're signing. 

"Who was that?" Jeff asked. 

"Shane," Matt told him. 

"Shane?" Jeff repeated to make sure. 

"He tells me Noble's been happier and cockier and Nidia doesn't like it since I've been gone," Matt explained. 

"Well, looks like some combustion in the Nobles," Jeff concluded. 

"Hey, those two are not married!" Matt yelled. "Wait a minute, why did I just say that?" 

"Offended the couple idea," Jeff explained. 

"Well, I guess I better just admit that I think Nidia likes me," Matt said. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"She's actually supported one of my Mattitude lines when Jamie tried to stop it. And now, with what I find from Shane-" 

"Well, looks like a true lovers' tiff is about to happen." 

"Well, I don't know, bro. Just one thing: in case it's about me, I'm not watching." 

"Oh, you're not? Don't you want to know what happens with your friends?" 

"NO!" 

"I mean the H5." 

"Shut up!" 

"Well, I'm warning you. Guys like Noble like to talk behind their friends' backs. Just like you're thinking behind his." 

"Well, I think it sucks that this ever even happened." 

"Should've listened to Edge and never talked to Nidia." 

"Don't even remind me of that!!!" With that, Matt chased after Jeff all over the store. The younger Hardy obviously eluded the older one. 

9:42 PM, during RAW: The Hardyz watched from their home as the Ministry of Darkness theme went out. They've been hearing it for a while since SmackDown the 24th. They see his outfit, an even older one. The Dark Lord wore a black torn sleeve button shirt and midnight blue long tights along with black boots with the white taping thingy on them. The others have the Laker purple. Anyhow, they saw him inferno the area around the ring with his "dark powers" and do the Destruction sign at the turnbuckle, the fans handing him an applause. 

"Well, I'm here, I'm a champion, I'm an undertaker," he started on a mic. "And as far as I'm concerned, Jamie and Nidia wanted a handicap match against me, so they've got it. Although, I have to be careful what I do, I'll admit. And as far as Matt Hardy's concerned, I hope you learn your lesson while you and your brother are away. You see, in case you never knew, I had a one-on-one against Jamie Noble, and during the match, they got a killswitch on them. Nidia tried to seduce me as she did you, and the next thing you know, she's running away from me. Kane grabs her in the chokeslam and performs it on her at the bottom of the steel ramp, she needs hospitalization. Her boy ordered me back into that ring, and when I got in, he tried to kick me, but he only dropped himself, and he didn't hear Nidia's voice. She was being taken down to the medical attendance room. But, he clotheslined me - and himself - out of the ring. I got up first, and he got the samne treatment from me as Kane gave Nidia. I dragged him into the ring, Tombstoned him and got the 1, 2, 3. Now, let me continue where I left off, okay? It so appears that Jamie Noble's been full of himself and Nidia has disliked it since you've left. Not saying I'll excuse the whole thing, but what I am saying is that Noble hates you. He thinks you are nothing but a load of flap. And if you stay with them, you will be punished severely. Now, Kane and I agreed on something earlier today: that we would face off one-on-one at Judgment Day for the World Title and then form a group with The Hurricane. The name of the group...well, stand back. We don't even have it yet. I talked to Hurricane, and he was completely okay. After all, you would consider me sort of a freak. Howevber, don't think just because that's what you say, you won't get hurt, because, as far as I'm concerned, I know when you mean what you mean when you call me a freak, so if you think you can operate behind my back, you're being undertaken to another thing coming." 

Steel chair from behind: Jamie Noble. Took Taker's mic and threatened him. 

"You wanna cause trouble, big man!? I'll give ya trouble! Cause tonight, when you step into that ring with me and my girl Nidia, we're gonna show you what it's like to be threatenin' us!" 

Kane showed up in the old mask, the old one-sleeved red shirt and the pants to go with it, and Noble, who had come by himself, was panicked. He had an idea, though. Kane came all the way to him and was about to get him in a bad move, but Noble ducked under through Kane's legs and ran off for backstage. A little parody of Brian Kendrick, though it really had nothing to do with it. 

"Run away, coward! You can't hit me!" Kane yelled having taken the mic, as Noble had dropped it when he appeared at the top of the ramp. 

The MoD theme came again, and then, Kane helped Taker up. Once that happened, the two of them walked off backstage. 

Hardy comments: 

"So, what are you going to do?" Jeff asked his brother. 

"They're facing Undertaker?" Matt asked. Why would Vince do that? 

"Well, yeah," Jeff answered. "Obviously, according to what I heard." 

"You're so damn sarcastic sometimes," Matt sighed. 

"Well, you're not a guardian angel yourself," Jeff retorted. 

"Shut up," Matt immediately shut off this conversation. 

10:21 PM: Noble and Nidia's entrance theme came on, and the trailer boy had on the pair of cut jeans and Nidia had on a brown shortsleeve top covering from under her chin to her breasts. The MoD entrance theme had already gone off with Undertaker not changing the outfit and coming by himself. The moment Noble got in there, Undertaker chased after him and clotheslined him down. Nidia hung on to his back and started punching him, but the attack had no effect. Taker just jumped up and fell on his back. Nidia was crunched, her implants flattened a little bit. Noble got up, started with a few punches, but when he tried an irishwhip, it was countered into a standing cloesline. Noble and Nidia had no chance. Nidia got up, trashtalked him and slapped him, but he only slapped her back, and it was a harsh one. He then chopped the area above her implants and they were severely empained. He then asked Nidia if she'd had enough, and she pleaded for him to stop. He said he'd end the show, but he got tripped onto something: Noble did it. Taker fell down a bit hard, and he didn't like that. He immediately rolled over on the outside and grabbed a mic. 

"Boy, you've done it now, it's about time you paid your dues." He threw the mic into the ring with those words, careful not to hit either opponent so he couldn't get DQed, as they didn't realize that was their chance. Next thing you know, when he gets in, he's getting the fist treatment from Noble, and therefore, it takes him about six seconds to get up. He rips Noble's hands away, irishwhips him and kicks him with a boot to the face. Next thing you know, Nidia charges at him with a spinning heel kick. With his left hand, he catches the foot, and with the right, he uses her thigh to throw her out of the ring. He then gets the mic with his right hand, transfers it to his left, and a resurgent Noble gets the right hand all over his neck. Next thing you know, he says something again. 

"Do you want to get chokeslammed?" 

"No, no, no," Noble pleaded to him. "Don't do it, Taker. Don't do it." 

"Then you will admit it," Taker demanded. 

"What are you talkin' about?" Noble asked. 

"Don't you know?" Taker criticized. 

"You mean Matt, right?" Noble took a guess. 

"That's right, what do you think of him?" Taker asked. "NOW!" At the "now" tone, he tightened the grip on Noble's neck. 

"All right, all right!" Noble confessed lowly. "Matt Hardy ain't nothin' but crap to me." 

"This win I'm about to give you will soon be revealed a loss," Taker preached. "Your sins will be punished." 

He then let go of the mic and Noble's neck and walked away. Lilian Garcia announced... 

"Here are your winners due to exit cowardice, Jamie Noble and Nidia!" 

They weren't about to celebrate, 'cause Noble was mad and Nidia was out. Speaking of mad, let's go over to the Hardyz. 

"Damn!" Matt yelled. He couldn't believe what Noble just said. "I'm just useless space to that guy!? And all the while, I thought he was my friend!" 

"Well, as you can see, he's not," Jeff paraphrased the finishing of that statement. "So what are you gonna do now?" 

"Come on, Jeff!" Matt ordered him after about three seconds. "Let's pack our bags tonight and head for Chicago tomorrow night!!!" 

"That's what I've been waiting for," Jeff proudly stated. 

"Well, what are you waiting for? Come on!" Matt ordered. 

Cell call. 

Matt: Hello? 

??: Heard what just happened? 

Matt: Edge? 

Edge: Yeah. I just saw it from our locker room, and those guys got you good. So, what are you headed to do about it? 

Matt: Shut up and wait. 

He then turned it off. Back in the Red Brood room... 

"Well, he didn't want to talk about it," Edge told his fellow Brooders. "I guess the best thing to do now is wait." 

Well, there you have it. What's Matt going to do? _Chapter 23: The End of the Mattitrails_ should give you a good clue right there. I had originally planned for Matt to go into his room and for Noble to publicly state it and for Jeff to tape it and show him, but I think this is better, because it shows that Noble really is a liar. He didn't even say it behind Matt's back, he just hid it. He tried to lie to himself and to everybody else that he was Matt's friend, but with The Undertaker, that lie was out the window. So, what do you guys think? 

Mattitude is true attitude, and don't you forget it!!! 


	23. The End of the Mattitrails

**The Ruin of the H5**   
**Chapter 23: The End of the Mattitrails**

Thursday, May 8th, 2003   
United Center in Chicago, IL 

3:15 PM: All of WWE is up, and everybody's in the cafeteria talking about what happened with Taker and Noble. They couldn't believe Noble took somebody he didn't even consider at all into his group. Meanwhile, Lita was the only one standing in a frown while they were all sitting and gossiping. Christian noticed and stopped talking to Edge to come up to her. 

"Hey, head, what's wrong?" Christian asked. 

"I'm just angry about the fact that this is causing so much attention. My friends are ignoring anything I have to say, and when I look around for somebody to help me out, I just keep hearing something about either Jamie, Nidia, Matt or Undertaker, and I'm sick of it to tell you the truth," Lita answered him. "Christian, I just need someone to talk to. If there's anyone who should even be talking about it, it's me. None of them had begun in this business. And, why'd you call me head?" 

"You're a redhead, and I improvised from calling you red," Christian told her. "But what am I doing here?" 

"Hey, dude," Rob Van Dam came from behind. "What's wrong? You all drenched up about that redhead or something?" 

"No, Rob, she's, quote, 'just a friend'," Christian told him sternly. He was being honest, all right. There was no blushing. But, carefree attitude states RVD's next words. 

"Whatever. Anyway, Lita, I think I might be able to help you out here." 

"Can we talk?" she asked. 

"Hey, Christian!" Edge called from his seat. "Would you mind getting us some beer while you're chatting with red here?" 

"Edge!" Christian complained. "It's like the moment I talk to someone, you have to get me like that!" 

"Fine, if you're going to be such a crybaby about it, I'll get the cans myself!" 

Edge only got three, remembering that Trish didn't like beer. 

"Hey, where's the fourth?" Austin demanded coming up to him. 

"You could have asked," Edge said. He went to go get one. Anyway, Austin, Edge, Jericho and Christian toasted and drank Steveweiser beer. 

"That's all we're taking, right?" Christian asked. "Because I don't want to become a drunkard before tonight comes. I want to know-" 

"Ahem," Lita was frowning again. 

"Oh, yeah, you need to have a chat, right?" Christian asked to make sure. 

Lita nodded. 

"Well, I don't think you should focus on that too much. I'm sure something new's on the verge of happening right now. I tried calling Jeff, but he left an away message." It rang clearly in his head. 

_"Hey, this is Jeff Hardy, one half of the Hardy Boyz. We're unavailable for contact today, please try again later."_

"Well, that's new," Lita said. "That even disregards me." 

"Well, I don't exactly know why neither of them would want to talk to you," Christian shared her sentiment. 

"You and Edge are sure good friends of them as well," Lita confirmed her portion of it. "Well, at least I know that there's something going on. But it doesn't smell fishy to me. No, it smells sweet. You know Nidia and Noble are facing the other BoD, right?" 

"The other Brother of Destruction as in Kane, right?" Christian expanded with a question. 

"Yes, and don't tihnk I've forgotten that day during the DX war when you guys rudely disrespected Matt, Jeff and Shannon," Lita immediately attempted to make him feel bad. 

"We didn't exactly have Trish or a good attitude," Christian countered that. "Well, now we do, and we've decided to put things aside and call it a friendship." 

"Which is actually good of you, because something happened that I never thought would again," Lita added. 

"What could that be?" Christian asked. 

"The fact that you and Chris actually have positive fan recognition," Lita simply told him in a nonchalant manner. 

"Well, who am I?" Christian asked. 

"You're Jason "Christian" Reso, and don't think I've forgotten," Lita said with a smirk and laugh. 

"And I'm not about to let some Hardy girl take over the world on me," Christian joked. 

"Just like old times," Lita recalled. "We used to be joking around all the time, the five of us. You know, the Hardyz and I, and Edge and yourself. But when it was ring time, the challenges came about when it came to the Tag Team Titles, and...well, you guys were just like the Outlaws, the APA and the Dudleyz: mortal enemies. Of course, the APA had the T&A and Trish for a while and Jacqueline for at least a nigh, Billy and Roadie had the rest of DX, the Dudleyz had the little guy, Spike, the Hardyz had me, and you and Edge had-" 

"Rhyno," Christian finished for her, because he knew she was not going to remember the correct person." 

"But you also had Gangrel, whom I was about to say," Lita attempted to add. 

"Well, that was when we were basically nothing and we didn't talk at all," Christian seriously tried to correct her. "That was the first Brood, which I call the Ministry Brood, part of the...well, Ministry of Darkness, led by Undertaker in its past existance. It's no more now. Then came your boys coming with Gangrel forming the New Brood: that got us fed up, and we finally ended up getting our way into the big time, thanks to them. I'm talking about the fact that we and Rhyno had made friends before the Alliance storyliine came around, and he helped us win that WrestleMania TLC match." 

"That he did, but I'm afraid something bad's happened," Lita admitted with a sigh. 

"What?" 

"Cut." 

"Oh, boy." 

"Don't talk to him, though. He might throw a tantrum." 

"Thanks for the advice. Anyway, I think you should go and look for those two." 

"Good idea." 

Lita soon walked about a few blocks before she found a row of houses. 

She then went to one of the doors and knocked. An old lady answered. 

"Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to see Matt and Jeff Hardy anywhere, would you?" Lita asked. 

"Who in tarnation are you talking about?" 

Another door, a little boy. 

"Seen Matt and Jeff Hardy anywhere in these parts?" 

"No." 

More places, here are responses, this kept up for about two hours. 

"Haven't seen them." 

"I have no clue who you're speaking of. Who are you, anyway?" 

"If I'd seen the Hardyz, I'd be famous!" 

"I wish." 

"Who are they?" 

"Nope." 

"They haven't shown up anywhere as far as I'm concerned." 

I'm not giving you every answer in the book. 

"I reckon you haqven't found them?" Christian asked when she showed up back in the arena. 

"Well, for one thing, some people didn't even know who they were," Lita said with a sigh of disappointment. 

"I don't think it seems natural that you're hanging out with me instead of Trish or any of your guys," Christian admitted. "Well, it seems as though I'd better be headed for the locker room." 

When he got to the Red Brood's room... 

"I haven't seen any of that loser show last night--hey, Christian, how are things with your new girlfriend?" Jericho asked with a laugh spreading from Trish and Edge. 

"Excuse me? You know too well I _don't_, **and I mean I don't** have a crush on Lita." 

"I know, I know, I was just fooling around, man, don't be all tense and upset," Jericho informed him. "But really, how are things?" 

"She's gone door to door asking for the Hardy Boyz, but apparently, she hasn't had any luck at it," Christian reported. 

"Well, that doesn't sound good," Edge said. 

"Or does it?" Christian cut in. "She said something was going on, and it smelled sweet - not fishy." 

"Ah, she's just dreaming, they're not coming," Jericho tried to get them off that topic. 

"Be quiet Chris," Trish ordered. "I know the Hardyz are coming, and if you get my point, they've got to be waiting until a specific point." 

"Come on, guys, let's go talk to Lita," Edge suggested. 

"Good idea," Trish agreed. Jericho and Christian nodded, then smirked. They knew there were more reasons Trish thought it was a good idea than just wanting to chat with Lita. In fact, there was Edge. She was crushing on him, and the world already knew it. She'd listen to him at every whim. Well, for one thing, they didn't have a clue that those two reasons actually combined. 

They had gone to the H5's room, and Lita's sitting down with Shane. 

"What makes you think they're here?" Shane demanded. 

"You might as well call again," Lita countered. Shane did as she told, and instead of the message Christian got calling Jeff, he heard a "Hello?" in there. 

Shane: Uh, Matt? You there? 

Matt: Yeah. 

Shane: Where are you? 

Matt: Jeff and I are just checking out the city. 

Shane: What city? 

Matt: Chicago. 

Shane: So, you're here, right? 

Matt: Well, we're coming on our way as soon as seven. 

Shane: On your way to the arena, right? 

Matt: Yeah. 

Shane: You know where we're supposed to go, right? The United Center? 

Matt: I can't wait. 

Shane: What can't you wait for? 

Matt: For seven to come so we can be on our way. We have a portable TV for their coming, and we'll be hanging around someplace...wherever we can find, anyway. Hey, what am I doing telling you this!? 

Shane: Well, I guess you're off, right? 

Matt: Absolutely. 

The two hung up by pressing "end" on their cells. 

"What happened?" Lita asked curiously. 

"I'm not telling you," Shane said sternly. 

"What?" 

"I said, I'm not...oh, what does it matter? You're the kid's girl for crying out loud. They're coming." 

"Hey, that's great!" Lita exclaimed in joy. "Well, I think..." 

"What are you talking about?" Shannon asked. He and Marissa are (as idiotically unaware as it sounds) playing chess. 

"The Hardy Boyz are coming back to WWE," Shane proudly announced. 

"Hey, guys," Edge greeted them coming in. The door was unlocked, and he just turned the knob. 

"Well, if it isn't the Red Brood," Shane said. "Come to crash our party, huh?" 

"We didn't come to crash anything. I believe we heard correctly that the Hardyz are coiming back?" Edge asked. 

"Indeed," Shane confirmed. 

"Well, in that case, tell them Christian and I want to talk to them in the ring," Edge said. "Can you do me that favor?" 

"Well, of course. Any friend of Matt's is a friend of ours." 

"Hey, dudes, I hear the Hardyz are coming back tonight," RVD burst in. 

"What in tarnation are you doing here?" Christian asked...no, wait, demanded. 

"Hey, don't worry about it, it's cool," RVD calmed him down. "The even cooler thing is, they at least look like they're on the same page." 

"Which is excellent, because Jeff's not the kind of guy who'd be in a group with the likes of Noble and Nidia," Edge pointed out. 

"I really like the sound of that," Jericho admitted. "After all, it's not every day in the world you see a Mattitude Follower in a group of Canadians." He then smirked at Edge, who began to get a little angry. 

"Hey, hey, hey! I'm Matt's friend, not an MFer!" Edge yelled running after him. Y2J didn't exactly outrun Edge, but he managed to keep from getting hit, and when Edge closed the gap, he immediately laid himself stomach flat and eluded him. Now, he had the room to tell Edge to calm down and that he was just playing around. 

"Now, why didn't I know that?" Edge asked, not knowing if he was speaking more to Jericho or to himself. 

5:56 PM: Shannon had a shocking suggestion about this whole thing. 

"Let's go tell Team Bring It!" 

"What!?" Lita jumped. "Why would we tell them!?" 

"Why wouldn't you? We already found out." A voice came from outside, and Team Bring It was seen...the three of them. 

"Well, what do you think?" Lita asked. 

"I say it's cute," Kat said. 

She's completely confusing me, Lita thought. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" 

"I'm just confused by the way you say things, that's all." 

"Why do I never tell you to live with it?" Kat asked. 

"That's not the kind of thing you're used to saying to people," Lita immediately replied. 

"Well, hon, you're right, and I think you and Matt make a great couple," Kat interjected. 

"Thanks," Lita responded to that comment. "But I don't know if I can be with him again after what's transpired." 

"Just follow your heart," Shamrock said. "Follow your heart, redhead. Follow your heart." 

"I'm letting my head get in the way of my heart?" Lita asked. 

"Indeed you are, now get rid of that," Rock ordered. "If he wants to come back to you, don't push it inside yourself and wish you could get him to stop holding a wall between you two. You actually have to do it!" 

"Why do I get the feeling we're not needed in this chat?" Shannon asked about himself, Shane and Marissa. 

"Well, I don't see why you can't say anything if you do have anything to say," Rock informed him. 

"Sorry about being such a pistol when you tried to talk during this whole thing, okay?" Shannon apologized extending his hand out. 

"Apology accepted, kid," Rock said as the two shook hands. Suddenly, Shannon had a hard time pulling is hand out. Suddenly came the one gift he could be waiting for: ROCK BOTTOM!!! 

Uh, actually, he didn't do it, he just set it up and started laughing. Once he got that done, he let go. 

"The Rock says he'll whip those candy asses at that battle royal! You'd better be watching." 

8:53, during SmackDown: Noble and Nidia came out in the same outfits from this past RAW, but they weren't exactly what I'd call feeling good. Looking outside, the Hardyz had their bags just inside the door. Jeff sported Matt's old H3 shirt and a black and silver version of the Matt Pants, and Matt sported the V1 shirt and the purple and gold Matt Pants. 

"Come on, Jeff, let's go!" he yelled. The Hardyz ran through the entire arena all the way until they got to the music station. Noble and Nidia just got in the ring when the old Extreme theme came on and they rushed out from behind the draperies, leaving Kane to just go on back! 

Suddenly, when they got in, Noble tried to escape Jeff while Nidia was running from Matt: however, the Hardyz crossed on their paths to be a little creative, and they immediately rushed in. Neither Noble nor Nidia were able to escape, although both got up across the guardrail. Suddenly, the Hardyz soon caught them and threw them back onto the ring's side. Jeff embarassed Nidia by kissing her, and Matt immediately ran himself and Noble on top of the announce table and gave him a Twist of Fate, landing both of them right through it with all the items on it! 

Cole and Madden were left with nothing. Meanwhile, Nidia tried to run, but Matt told Jeff to keep her in. Suddenly, he did exactly that, brought her into the ring. She tried to go out the other way, but Matt blocked her and told Jeff to sit on her, take off her jeans, and then hold on to her feet, covered in those socks and Nike shoes. That revealed a white thong! Suddenly, Matt grabbed a steel chair, and Jeff held on to her feet while looking out for Noble. Matt came up and started spanking Nidia's backside with the chair! When Noble came up to attack, Jeff told him, and Matt hit him with the chair and busted him open! He got back to spanking Nidia, who began to escape when the shoes Jeff was holding onto came off, and her feet were only covered by those socks. She tried to hurry and scurry away, but Jeff caught her feet again before that happened. Matt was going on with the chair spank all over again, until Matt's arms felt tired and he decided to stop for the sake of sanity! 

Suddenly, he went down to get a mic. 

"Well, (what) as you Mattitude Followers can plainly see, (what) I heard what Undertaker forced Jamie Noble to admit (what) and I didn't like it. (what) I didn't like Taker's methods, but that's not what I meant. (what) I meant I didn't like the realization that I was being used. (what) And I seriously take an offense to being used as a tool. (what) So, as of now, (what) Matt Hardy, (what) Version One, (what) the official founder of Mattitude (what) is back in the H5, (what) and the Mattitrails (what) are officially (what) OVER!!!" After that announcement, he threw down the mic, and the fans applauded as the Hardyz showed off their signs and the Extreme theme went on again. 

The entire H5 had come around Matt, who was showing some Mattitude as he and his brother were walking up the ramp. They had all stood at the top of the ramp and raised their hands in victory! 

9:32 PM: Matt was pleading to Lita for the past world breaks. 

"Lita, please! You've got to forgive me! I'm back, aren't I? Isn't this what you wanted?" 

"Matt, I don't think we can ever be together again," Lita severely told him. 

"No! Please, don't tell me I did this for heartbreak!" 

"No, you didn't, but I really need some time," Lita told him. "It won't be that easy to win me again." 

"Well, looks like you have even more regrets," Shane laughed. 

He then immediately ran off. 

"Where the heck's he going?" Shane asked. 

"I don't know, but we might as well leave him alone," Jeff said. He and Matt had only been talkiing to one another for a whole week, so to speak, and it was nice to be in the locker room and in a full group again. But now, Matt was feeling completely dejected. 

11:31 PM, after SmackDown: Shane and Lita were now looking around for Matt. She hadn't seen him since he had run off earlier tonight. 

"You don't think he's walked out on us again, do you?" Lita asked. 

"Well, I don't think you should have done that," Shane criticized. "You know you still love him, you...you..." 

"Don't say it!!" D-Von ordered from just outside the Dudleyz' locker room. 

"Should have never done that!" Shane said. D-Von was in relief, but no one knew whether or not that's what Shane wanted to say or if he was changing the words. 

"Hey, what's happening?" D-Von asked. 

"Well, for one thing, Lita failed to forgive Matt, and he's run off to who knows where," Shane said sternly. 

"So now you two are a search party, right?" D-Von finished. 

"Well, you're absolutely right," Lita said. 

"What now?" S-Con...I mean D-Von asked. 

"He might be outside." 

In the H5 room... 

"That vengeful heartbreaker!" Jeff fumed all over the place. "I can't believe she would _be_ this way!" 

"I don't like the looks of this either," Marissa said. 

"Count me in your category," Shannon added himself. "But Jeff, you've really got to calm down." 

"I'll show you calming down! That guy was sad in his heart when he was with those two trash cans, and even though he had betrayed her, he also felt as though he had betrayed himself! So what's with the bad attitude!? Anybody got any answers for her!?" 

"I thought you were the wise guy," Shannon joked. 

"This is NO TIME FOR GAMES!" 

"You will SHUT UP!" Vince ordered from outside. He then left. 

Jeff sat quietly with that bad frown in his eyes. After a minute... 

"I'm going to look for Lita and confront her right now," Jeff disclosed his decision. 

"What?" the other two were surprised. 

"Well, I don't have anything else to do." 

Meanwhile... 

"Matt!" Lita exclaimed when she saw him. He was sitting down in a corner near the entrance/exit door to the arena. The Hardyz had gotten their bags in. He had his face down, and he slowly lifted it. You could clearly see that he had been crying. She immediately ran and knelt over to him. 

"Matt, don't cry yourself to death! Please!" she begged. 

"What did you expect me to do?" Matt said softly. "I mean, I ditched the Mattitrails, you didn't want me back." 

"You could have talked to the Red Brood about this," Lita said. 

"I did, and Edge told me that if you weren't going to forgive me then I should just forget about it all, and I couldn't just forget you, Lita. I didn't trust that any of the others would give good advice, so I just continued running away until I got here. That way, I'd be easier to find if you cared." 

"Oh, but I do care, you know that." 

"Now I do." 

"Can we talk outside?" she requested. 

"Sure, why not?" he agreed. 

When they got to a bench outside the arena... 

"What happened?" Matt asked. 

"Well, for one thing, I'm terribly disappointed," Lita told him. "You know what Ken Shamrock told me this afternoon before SmackDown? He told me to follow my heart. So, obviously, somebody had good advice." 

"How could I follow a broken heart?" Matt demanded. 

"So you did," Lita told him. "So you did. But listen. If I made you cry, I'm sorry. I just wanted you to learn a point." 

"What could that be?" Matt asked. 

"If this were someone else, they'd forget about you or they'd slap you in the face," Lita explained her point. "And you see, you're not supposed to do things like that. You're lucky I actually still care for you." 

"Your feelings...they've decreased, haven't they?" 

"No, Matt, I still love you as much as before, I just needed you to learn your lesson." 

The two of them were facing down towards the ground. Suddenly, Matt looked at her and he turned her face around to look him in the eye. 

"Look, Amy, I have to say these words: you are my life." The two of them kissed for a moment, before hearing something coming from the door: it was Jeff. They then stopped: this whole thing happening with Lita being shocked at Matt using her real first name. 

Jeff also stood in wide-eyed shock because he busted his brother. 

_And all the while, I was waiting to confront her,_ he thought. 

"Hey, you might want to go inside!" he called. 

"We might as well," Matt shrugged. They all went in. See how easy that was? 

The Mattitrails are over! But the war sure as heck isn't. Well, find out how, from both sides of the coin in _Chapter 24: The T&A Express_. 

Mattitude is true attitude, and don't you forget it!!! I'm kidding when I say this, but...I hate Brian Kendrick. He beat Funaki _and Shannon_, and he _almost_ beat Chuck...embarassing people with jobs, right, boy!? And now, he's got to take out **_V1_**!!! I hate this doofus! Well, you know I'm kidding around, but I can't stand it when people purposely embarass the Mattitude! 


	24. The T&A Express

**Warside Vengeance**   
**Chapter 24: The T&A Express**

Monday, May 12th, 2003   
RCA Dome in Indianapolis, IN 

10:31 AM: Matt's up, the H5's up, they're all in renewed energy, but there's only one problem: Kane and The Undertaker are standing at the door. 

"What are you two doing here?" Jeff asked, noticing them. 

"Matt, come over here," Taker ordered. 

"What are you talking about?" Matt demanded. "I don't even have a problem with you!" 

"Well, come on!" Kane yelled, getting a little frustrated. "Can we talk to you about something?" 

"Why didn't you just say so?" Matt asked. "Where do you want to hold this conversation?" 

"Outside," Taker told him. 

"Okay, lead the way," Matt accepted the talk. "Guys, you may need to come. Follow me." 

"Now he's more careful," Kane whispered into Taker's ear. 

"That's a good thing," Taker said. "That way, he won't get bumped by any Diva's butt anymore." 

"Hey, I heard that!" Matt yelled. 

"That was a compliment!" Jeff informed him quickly. 

"Come on, Jeff, you know I was kidding around, right?" Matt asked. 

"Oh, so you were?" Jeff asked. 

"Of course I was," Matt answered him. 

"Would you come on already?" Taker commanded. 

"Okay, okay, stop being so gruff," Matt complained. 

The Hardyz followed the Brothers of Destruction outside the arena. The Indianapolis Week of WWE was on. Of course, it included Judgment Day, which was coming on the 18th from the Conseco Fieldhouse. 

"Well, we're here," Taker said before noticing Jeff beside his brother. "Hey, I didn't need both Hardy Boyz here! But, since you already are here, Jeff, you might want to make yourself useful by getting Lita over here." 

"What for?" Jeff asked. 

"Don't argue with me, young man! Just do it!" Taker ordered. 

After about a minute, Jeff had gotten not just Lita, but the entire H5 and the Red Brood to keep watch on the whole situation. 

"What in hell, fire and Brimstone are you doing!?" Taker yelled. "I only asked for Lita, not the entire pack of rats!" 

"I think he's trying to be safe by bringing everybody here," Kane told him. 

"Oh, yeah," Taker said, having not thought of that. 

"So, Taker, what did you want to talk about?" Matt asked. 

"Well, for one thing, it's all over. Our work here is done. You're back in the H5, Matt. You're back with your girlfriend. Your best friend. Your little brother. Your former follower. Your best friend's wife. And you have the Red Brood on six sides again," Taker spoke. "We wish you luck in the future, but now, we have to give you a challenge. Will you let things slide and forget about Noble and Nidia or will you do something about them?" 

"We'll just leave that to you," Kane continued for his non-brother. "And, one more thing. Marissa, you might be needed to spy on the T&A locker room: it'll impact what you have to do." 

"Would you just tell us what you've found out?" Matt asked. 

"I'm not even sure if I got the information correctly," Taker explained. "That's why I'm having Marissa spy there. To make sure what's going on." 

"I'm on it," Marissa said, heading back in. She looked for the T&A locker room until she found it. Once she did, the wife of Shane pierced her ear to the door. She heard a familiar voice which said, "Welcome to the T&A Express, and we'll get 'em before we rest." The word "thanks" was heard from another voice, the second being more detestable, the world knowing why. 

When she reported back outside... 

"Well, what happened?" Taker asked. 

"I heard John Cena welcome someone to the T&A Express, and Jamie's voice came out with the word thanks," Marissa reported. 

"Information confirmed," Taker announced. "Jamie Noble and Nidia are official members of the T&A...oh, yeah, and according to what I know, the word 'express' has got to have been added to the name." 

"They want a war," Lita suddenly stated. "I can smell it." 

"Like you can smell what The Rock is cookin'?" Rock suddenly asked from behind. 

"You're the one who's about to need to smell what the Nightmares of Brimstone are gonna be cookin' at SuperBrawl XI," Kane threatened him. "If you don't shut up." 

"The Rock says he's winning that Battle Royal at Judgment Day and he shall layeth the smacketh down on either one of your candy-" 

"SHUT UP!" Jeff warned. 

"Another profane cutoff?" Rock asked. "There have been plenty of those lately." 

"Well, I have buried them alive and burned their locker room before," Taker said. 

"Costing us our women's room," Lita protested as a conclusion to that statement. 

"Shut up," Matt told her. She looked at him strangely, and he just laughed and put an arm around her. Turning to Taker, he said these words: 

"Hey, Taker, we're not attacking until they show signs of it." 

"Well, don't tell us, they have a better chance of finding out," Taker immediately stopped Matt from saying anymore. "Now, you guys can leave. Edge, I need to talk to you for a second. Everybody else, H5er or Brooder, LEAVE NOW!" 

2:32 PM: Triple H has never been executed before, and he has a strange feelings that Kane and Undertaker are up to something. Just yesterday, Hurricane interrupted the show, saying that Taker challenged HHH to a match. But now, HHH had come up with a grand plan. Anyway, off those now unimportant bums and back to work. 

Matt was feeling a little bit bad about what he had done to Lita over the past PPV monthspan. He was thinking about this and that. He was thinking about what could be happening to his Red Brood friend Edge as we speak. He knew The Undertaker worked to get him back to the H5, just as the Red Brood had a little bit. Undertaker was the major person, and as far as he was concerned, if it weren't for him, he and Lita would have never kissed, and he would have never gotten his heart out of its own prison. He would never be free to be Matt Hardy, Version One again. He wanted to thank Taker, but he feared that the Dead Man's response would be one he did not like. 

"I didn't do it for gratitude, you know," Matt imagined Taker telling him. 

But now, he was afraid for his friend. Eric Bischoff set up Edge and Jericho to wrestle one another in a match to be Christian's partner in a #1 Contender's match which was not going to be held until SmackDown. Christian and the winning partner would face off against Angle and Tazz, the winners earning a Tag Team title shot at SuperBrawl, which was coming on June 22nd. However, according to sources, Mr. McMahon was pending on whether to change the official date of SuperBrawl to a day in July or to keep it the same. 

Back to thinking about Edge. Matt was a little bit afraid for Edge, because according to what he knew, the old Brood was a portion of Taker's own Ministry of Darkness. Matt was thinking that maybe Edge had been punished by Taker because the Brood left the Dead Man when the Ministry was over, and Edge had revealed on several occasions after the end of the Brood that he was _not_ a complete evil misfit with no ability to speak a human word and that he _was_ a human being just like everyone else. Taker's face could make anyone afraid of execution, and it had happened to Matt. He didn't trust the Man from the Dark Side. Suddenly, he heard a voice call his name. 

"Hey, Matt!" the voice said. Matt turned up from his serenial state in order to see Edge. 

"Hey, what happened?" he asked. "I was a bit scared that you had been beaten down by Taker." 

"Well, for one thing, he didn't undertake me as you thought he would," Edge informed. 

"Good assurance," Matt responded. "Hey, Lita, could you get me my bottle?" The thing is, he had undergone warmups, and no member from the Red Brood nor Kane nor The Undertaker were around. The match was unfairly tiring for him. The opponent had been Laurinatis, Johnny Ace. He didn't hear anything. "Lita?" He then looked around and noticed that none of the H5 were here. 

"Uh, guys? This isn't funny, now cut it out! Where are you?" Matt was left clueless. He didn't know what happened to the H5, but he thought it was a trick. All the while, Edge was laughing. When Matt finally saw the burst of laughter from Edge, he demanded to know what was so funny. 

"I saw the H5 going somewhere as I was just walking along. I realized you weren't around, and that's when I came here," Edge said, getting serious. 

"Shut up!" Matt yelled. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

"I forgot," Edge told him. 

"Sheesh," Matt complained. 

"I have a little secret," Edge said. "You know when Jeff was talking to Christian yesterday?" 

"What?" Matt asked. 

"I thought you knew," Edge said. 

"Well, I don't," Matt clarified. "But that would explain me not seeing Jeff yesterday when I woke up. It was pretty late for an early morning. How'd you know?" 

"I was there, of course," Edge assumed it was common sense. "It was in the Red Brood locker room!" 

"Well, what's the secret you were talking about? Is that it?" Matt wanted to know. 

"Well, this'll be hard to tell you. One of the things Jeff said was that, well..." Edge stopped right there. 

"Come on, would you just say something!?" Matt ordered. He knew something was up. Edge stood there. It was just like the old Ministry and Brood days: even when confronted and ordered to speak, he would say nothing. But then, he really was fitting into the Ministry of Darkness. Now, it was different. Whatever he had to say was really serious. 

"Edge, speak! You're not an evil misfit!" Matt tried to get it through to his head. 

"Okay, okay!" Edge gave in. "Jeff told us that he...well, he...likes...Li." 

"WHAT!?" Matt was completely surprised. He hadn't expected to hear this. What if Lita finds out and returns those feelings? Matt feels as though he's been doomed. 

"I see you don't take it so lightly," Edge assumed. "Well, I have a little suggestion: you talk to Jeff about this." 

"Well, I'd like to know why you didn't tell me this earlier," Matt scolded. 

"Hey, hey, hey," Edge tried to calm him down. "I was afraid you'd probably betray the H5 or kick Jeff out or something." 

"Well, I'm not," Matt assured him with a little smirk. 

"What?" Edge asked. 

"I'll talk to him about it," Matt told him. "That'll be much more worth. In the meantime, I think I've got to address the people in about a few hours." 

Suddenly, as Edge left, the rest of the H5 came back. 

"Well, I see you've been stirred from your little thinking trip," Shane said. "So, what happened?" 

"Matt, can I talk to you for a second?" Lita asked. 

"We don't have the-" 

"Women's room anymore? Remember, we can talk elsewhere. Like, somewhere in here where no-one'll be able to mind what we do? Besides, this is our team's room. We can do whatever we want in here. They know about us. You know, our feelings and relationship and stuff. They know it. They respect it. You don't need to worry about anything." 

"Well, I just found out how to pay respects to the New World Order last night," Matt joked. 

"You make me stop worrying when you do that," Lita told him laughing. When she stopped, she continued. 

"But I have something serious to talk to you about. Do you know about...well, Jeff?" 

"I thought you said you wouldn't tell!" Jeff complained. 

"Unless I felt I had to," Lita told him. "Anyway, Jeff singled me out during our little outer party, and he told me that he liked me, and that he cared about me a lot. I was confused. How could he just go on and keep that hidden for so long without breaking open? When I ask him that, he tells me that it had come about while I was crying for you when you betrayed us. I'm not about to call you a rico, you're back with us. And I know Rico will never go back to Billy & Chuck. Besides, those guys are said and done as well, so I can't say what'll happen. Anyway, the day's done." 

"The first part, Edge told me he told the Red Brood yesterday before I was awake." 

"Can I continue here? I'm not finished. He said he felt miserable when I was hurt. He said he felt terrible about the fact that I had been crying. But he thought it was more than that, but he didn't really know what was it that was coming on inside him that made him more concerned than himself. When I walked up to him on Saturday and he was breathing heavier, he realized the inevitable truth: he actually had feelings for me that had been lying dormant inside him all this time, but they were now taking effect. But here's the good part. He understood I wanted to be with you, and he decided that he'd just do the usual and stay second. But if he saw me hurt, he would say something that would be the thoughts of both of the Hardy Boyz to whomever did it to me. Remember on Yu-Yu Hakusho when Yusuke burst out of the pool of Hate Fish and attacked Rando with that Spirit Gun?" 

"Yeah, Rando came back up and gave him the words, right?" Matt made sure. 

"You have caused me pain," Jeff quoted from the anime demon. "I do not like that." 

"Oh, indeed, Jeff, that's a good way to put what we'll be thinking," Matt told him with a smirk. "Bro, I think I'll do you a favor and put us as equals to Lita." 

"No, man, she wants _you_ to be with her, and I'm letting it happen," Jeff declined his brother's offer. 

"Thanks, Jeff. We owe you part of our contract." 

"Hey!" Lita protested. 

"I mean, I owe you part of my contract," Matt corrected himself. 

9:44 PM, during RAW: The Mattitude Connection went on, leading to the Live for the Moment theme going on. Matt comes out in the sleeveless V1 shirt and the purple and gold Matt Pants to go with everything else. It went on for the longest time since before, as Matt was celebratively showing off more than ever before getting a microphone and addressing the people. He was hearing girls screaming for him as the loudest of the cheers, and that's what made him scowl. He wanted Lita, not those other girls who he doesn't even know who scream out his name whenever his theme comes out. Not all those teenyboppers who get his autograph every time he has a chance. But, that's the way those H5 guys were. They always found girls who scream for them. Lita and Marissa didn't like all those girls screaming after the guys, especially those who they knew as their own, the other two best friends among the sextet (group of six, now LOOK IN THE DICTIONARY!!!) Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon. He was reflecting on that as he was celebrating, and I think it took him awhile, until he regained his control with this thought: 

_Oh, well. That's us. At least we know our place._

"You know, it's been a great few days for Matt Hardy, Version One!" he started on a microphone when he was done and the theme got off. Cheers and screams got to him again, and as fans and teenyboppers were chanting "Matt-i-tude", he needed a little moment to think, and the people gave it to him. Now, he continued. 

"And, as of now, I'd just like to say something serious. I just found out from Lita and Edge today of several incidents telling me something that could have put a dent in my heart not for a part mentioned. What I'm talking about is that Jeff likes Lita a lot and he's concerned about her. Oh, and I don't mean he likes her as if he thinks she's cool and would make a good friend or whatnot, I mean he seriously has feelings for her. But, he understands I'm around, and I'm the one who's taken her heart prisoner, so to speak, so he's letting me have her. And, anybody watch Yu-Yu Hakusho?" That silenced the fans, 'cause they didn't know why he was asking that question. 

"Anyway, guys, put the question up on the tron. Now, as you can see, it's a good Mattitude question. It reads, 'Which remark of Rando compares to Matt and Jeff's thoughts any time Lita's found hurt?' Now, let me give you a hint: it's directed to the person who hurts her. Now, Number 1 says, 'This is always the hardest part.' Number 2 says, 'You have caused me pain. I do not like that.' Number 3 says, 'He was clearly the victim!' Now, which one do you think we think like? You will yell it out at the count of 3. 1, 2, 3." 

About 92.7% of the fans voted for Nuimber 2. 

"Looks like the majority of the audience is correct! Now, I have to dish out some special thanks to several people who tried to help me realize how blind or evil I was or who tried to talk to Lita...yes, I know who did and who didn't, Shane told me about it all on the plane on Friday. I'd like to thank the Red Brood. I'd like to thank Austin. I'd like to thank Team Bring It. I'd like to thank the Holly Cousins, I'd like to thank Eric Bischoff, and I'd like to thank Mr. McMahon. I'd most importantly like to thank The Undertaker and Kane. If you fans hadn't noticed, Taker's been the most vital person to this whole return process of getting me back into the H5. Well, I think I know you want to come out here and tell me you didn't do it for gratitude or for the love of Lita, and you'd rather puke or die than do anything if those two reasons I just mentioned were the only two reasons for anybody to do anything. I know what you want to tell me. You only did it because it was right. You choked the truth out of Jamie Noble because it was right. I respect that, Taker. You inflicted master pain on Noble and Nidia during SmackDown on the first day of May. I know you did it all...because it was right and they deserved it. I respect that. Now, let me repeat what I said earlier-" 

Suddenly, Cena's second theme goes on, and out he comes, already equipped with a mic. 

"Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Hold up the crack, 'cause you don't even know! Man, your name may be Matt, but your girlfriend would forget about you and fall all over Bratt! And he ain't nothin' but a lassie, and you ain't but a laddie. You know what? I have all the money, and all the fame, and I know how to play the game! That's why you needed Michaels to beat DX, that's why you'd be with my new dudes if it weren't for TX, that's why Undertaker never picked you as his faker! I ain't surprised you betrayed Lita, because you got played for a sucka! The world is in, you're the next of kin! The next of a kin of losers which will never take up onto any boosters! All hits come to you and always go right through your mitts! You ain't nothin'! You're just a glumpin' sucka! It's an obvious thing in the ring that you can't beat your baby brother! Now that's a shame, and so is Shane! As far as I'm conerned, I'm a new IC champ, he's a chump. You guys might as well sit on a tree stump, 'cause that's all you're good at! You can't even beat the detective Hardy Boys!" 

"That's it! Shut up!" Matt yelled furiously, cutting off Cena's theme. 

"Well, you should cut up!" Cena retaliated. As he was coming into the ring, Noble and Hurricane came from behind the guardrail and started beating on Matt. After a while, Noble was about to give Matt the Tiger Bomb, but Hurricane kicked him from behind in the wizards, then waited until Noble turned around before firing a Shining Wizard! Then came the Eye, and Albert came bulling past Cena. The two of them then double-teamed Hurricane and soon threw him out of the picture, only to be met by dropkicks from Jeff and Shane! Lita and Shannon ran to set up Albert and Cena, then gave the two super hurracanranas, one from each for each. The Live for the Moment theme went up. Matt got up to it. He saw those four. With Marissa, who didn't have the wrestling skills to be able to come out, the four of them were with him as the H5. That made him proud. He had such good teammates. 

10:21 PM: The No Chance theme went up, and Traylor and McMahon came out again. The boss was about to speak. Both wore their traditional. 

"Well, it's pretty much apparent to me that the word sanity has stopped meeting with the H5 and its problems since WrestleMania. However, although sanity has been cast away, that won't happen to Mr. McMahon! According to what you should know, sanity will be put into the situation, because I've got something. An idea. A match. You see, this all started when Nidia seduced Matt Hardy into breaking up with his girlfriend. Matt Hardy earned no chance at staying together with Lita. But on the other hand, the thing is, they got back together because Nidia's boyfriend Jamie Noble was exposed by The Undertaker and forced to admit he thinks of Matt as NOTHING BUT CRAP! Excuse the word's usage, but this is serious, and this is exactly what Jamie said! I mean, if Lita died of heartbreak, don't you think those three should be arrested? We should all be grateul to Undertaker for revealing Noble's true attitude. The thing is, now the H5 are all 6 again. Which leads to what happened tonight, which I DON'T need to say. In fact, let me tell you what I've decided to do. I've decided to make things relationship vs. relationship at Judgment Day in order to end things in the spirit of competition. You see, it's going to be Matt Hardy and Lita vs. Jamie Noble and Nidia!" 

The What Does Everybody Want theme comes on and out comes Al Snow in the Snow Man's long tights. 

"Now, Mr. McMahon, in case you haven't found out, I'm currently getting two of my kids - and when I say kids, I mean Tough Enough students - to work out their differences and work with me. I'm talking Maven and Nowinski. Right now, everything's going well, and there haven't been any cold stares coming from either man to the other for the past week, and I think my work's almost done. This next Thursday night, I'm getting the two of them to work together in a tag team match. Now, seeing as though Nidia was one of my Tough Enough kids during the first session as were Maven and Nowinski, I realize two things. How about this: first, on SmackDown. Why don't we let it be Maven and Nowinski against Noble and Cena? And now onto Judgment Day: if Nidia and her antisocial boyfriend lose to Matt Hardy and Lita, then she's forced to join us." 

"That's an awesome idea!" Vince agreed with a smile. "I'll book it! Wait a minute, let me add to that. Since now they have a chance to stay together when they step into the challenge, unlike Matt and Lita, who weren't even given a chance, why don't we let it be that, um...if they lose this match, they can never get into a relationship again for as long as either one of them is in WWE!! Now, Al, can you leave? I'm about to." 

The No Chance theme goes off again, and now, Vince and Raymond have smirks on their faces as they head off. 

10:26 PM: The Mattitude Connection starts up and hands the show over to Matt and Shane, who come out to the Live for the Moment theme. Matt wears...well, you know. Shane sported the Lions' Shane-O-Mac and black pants. Meanwhile, Test comes out to the This is Test theme in the silver semi-short tights and Albert comes out to his theme in the short tights. 

This was a rematch of an old #1 Contender's challenge for WrestleMania. Matt started off with a furious charge at Albert, who was the first legal man of the tag team consisting of the two biggest men among the T&A Express. Jeff is seen watching with Edge and Christian in the Red Brood locker room. He has a hand over his forehead. What caused that was that as he was charging to Albert, the big man tagged in Test during the run, but Matt didn't seem to know - or care - so he ended up running into a clothesline from Test. The Testicle Man then stomps away on Mattitude for about 10 seconds. He then picks Matt up by the head and gives him an uppercut. He gets knocked down. Test then drags Matt by the hair and tags in Albert. The 380-pounder gets into the ring and starts to make things worse. He gets Matt up and starts to give him a two-handed chokelift. Then comes the disqualification count. 1, 2, 3, 4, and Albert throws Matt down at the five. Matt is barely able to get any breath as the evil footsteps close in, and Albert picks Matt up by the head and stood there, not knowing what to do. Suddenly, after about three seconds of thinking, he tried to clothesline Matt out of the ring, but Matt manages to duck, run, return and hand him a flying forearm! The big man's down! Matt then tags in Shane, who leaps into the ring for a cross body takedown as Albert gets up! Shane then gives Test and Albert a group of clotheslines before finally attempting the McMahon's Strike on Albert and getting clotheslined by Test from behind, leading to a double team from the 662-pound tag team. Matt's on the top rope and he dropkicks Albert from the side. Albert's shoulder's aching in pain. Matt picks him up immediately, lays him on the turnbuckle, and gets a few shoulder thrusts onto Albert's gut. Now, the bald-headed hairy bully is in a pretty bad predicament. Matt Hardy remembers something that happened to Booker T a while back and immediately picks him up for a Twist of Fate! Meantime, Shane's beginning to battle back from the assault of Test. With a few punches, Test is a little bit wobbly. Shane takes the time to run into the ropes and return with a clothesline. He then stalks Test after showing the Bullhorns. YOU HAD YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN IN A PREVIOUS CHAPTER, AND IF YOU CAN'T FIND IT, THEN TOO BAD! Uh, sorry. Anyway, once Test gets up, it's Stun Twist time. Matt comes in for the cover, and Charles Robinson says no due to the fact that Shane and Albert are legal. Matt sees Shane covering Albert and points over there. Robinson goes over there and counts 1, 2, 3! 

10:33 PM: Lita and Shannon come out to Shannon's theme. Lita wears greenish NC pants along with a shortsleeve purple, green and black H3 top. Shannon sports the MF Vroom-A-Zoom shirt and red Speedster pants. Noble and Nidia come out to their theme. Noble wears a flannel vest and cut jeans and Nidia wears a blue tied sleeveless top and exposively short jeans. 

Lita and Nidia start this match, but not in a sweet manner. They immediately confront each other. They're standing face to face. Nose to nose. The 5'7" Divas look like they're about to kiss being so close to each other, yet they each know that they have as much hatred as Rock and HHH once had. Suddenly, to break the happenstance, Lita pushes Nidia hard. This intergender tag team match says Noble had full freedom to attack Lita. He rushed to assault her, but she dropkicked him down and tagged in Shannon before he could get up and inflict pain on her. Shannon jumped onto the top rope and gave Noble a hurracanrana at the moment of rise. Shannon ran to the ropes and returned with a front dropkick to a dropped trailer man. Noble landed outside the ring. Nidia thought to jump onto Shannon, but all he did was out his hand onto part of her leg and then drop backwards, crushing her. He got up. Noble got up into the ring and thought to attack, landing on a drop toe hold. Shannon gets Noble in a drop toe hold, but Nidia gets to Shannon's right and distracts him by calling his name. She then seduces him with the pulled-up pants trick again and he responds with in irritated look on his face. She's beginning to get a little concerned when she feels a strong hand: Shannon actually spanked her! But, it left time for Noble to get up and hand Shannon a Tiger Bomb. However, before he could get the cover, he sights Lita about to hand him a hurracanrana. The thing is, he responds by catching Lita a bit up and turning it into a powerbomb! Noble covers Shannon and goes for the cover. 1, 2, Shannon's right hand is hanging onto the rope. Noble then gets up and stomps on Shannon. Lita and Nidia are both in pain...in their own little ways. They stand back at apron corners. However, when Noble tags in Nidia, she goes on with a slingshot leg drop. Things are looking even bleaker for Shannon because all I know is this: he got hit by Nidia and couldn't do anything about it. However, she tried to pick him up for some Emerald Fusion, but he gets off landing on his feet! Shannon then irishwhips her into Noble before giving her a monkey flip, then finishing her off with a 450 Flip Splash. The thing is, the 1, 2, 3 part doesn't exactly work as planned, because Noble kicks Shannon off just as the 2's about to reach. He's stomping Shannon again, but Lita punches him and tries to irishwhip him. It doesn't work as planned, because he counters it and clotheslines her. Shannon then gets up, and it's Stun Twist time for Noble. 1, 2, 3! Brian Hebner took this match. 

10:52 PM: Jeff and Christian are seen entering Mr. McMahon's office after The Rock just beat Eddie Guerrero. 

"What can I do for you?" Vince asked. 

"Well, for one thing, I say we want a match against Test and Albert at Judgment Day," Christian responded. 

"It's on," Vince said. 

They then leave, met by Edge. 

"What did he say?" the cool grinning Brooder asked. 

"We've got it," Jeff responded. The three of them smirked. 

Well, it's about time I finally got this done. I've been out for a week. Been grounded. Couldn't finish this. Now I'm back. But I have a strange feeling that three words are coming on...not for long. Anyway, await _Chapter 25: A Little Jazz Flavor_. And if you DON'T await it, I'll be forced to break your head off and feed you to Matt Hardy for dinner!!! 

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 

Don't worry, you guys know that was a joke. Oh, yeah, Ma...okay, that catch phrase is getting a little annoying. MAYBE NEXT TIME. 


	25. A Little Jazz Flavor

**Warside Vengeance**   
**Chapter 25: A Little Jazz Flavor**

Thursday, May 15th, 2003   
Market Square Arena in Indianapolis, IN 

11:56 AM: The Hardy Boyz were talking to Edge and Christian in the Red Brood locker room. Trish and Jericho were getting things. She wishes she could be with Edge, but he and Christian felt like having a talk. "Besides, the Hardyz might come over and pay us a little visit. You two go on. It's okay." Those words were quoted from Edge. 

"I actually told Lita how I felt," Jeff disclosed to the Canadians. 

"You what?" Christian was shocked. 

"I told Lita my feelings," Jeff repeated. 

"But if that's true, then why isn't Matt trying to beat you up?" Christian demanded. 

"Let's just say he knows she's happy with me, and therefore he's letting us be," Matt said proudly. 

"Hey, don't boast about it, man," Jeff advised him. 

"Good thing Jeff's not ambitious," Edge said. 

"Back off, man," Jeff retaliated with a laugh. 

"You sure haven't lost your sense of humor," Edge grinned. 

"Who has?" Matt asked. 

"Um, I haven't, so can you please get out of our way?" Trish's voice was from behind. She and Jericho were behind the Hardyz, who were blocking the entrance. 

"Oh, sorry about that," Matt apologized as he and Jeff left room for the other two Brooders, who carried bags with things such as sunglasses, fries and hamburgers from McDonald's and KFC chicken. 

"I see you're back with the stuff," Christian welcomed the fact. 

"Well, I'd like to know why Mr. McMahon ate my lunch yesterday," Jericho said. 

"You offered it to him because he was tired after lots of talk on the cell phone," Christian reminded him. 

"Speaking of which, I wonder what could be important enough for the boss to be using the cell about," Jericho wondered out loud. 

"The only clue I can think of is that he was talking to this guy named Evan," Edge said. 

"Must be Karagias," Matt suspected. 

"Who?" the Red Brood asked. 

"Evan Karagias," Matt repeated. "Shannon and Hurricane's old 3-Count partner. He betrayed them to team with that band greeder Noble." 

"That's bad," Edge said. "I wouldn't trust him if I were you." 

"I know, he could be joining those guys," Jeff added to that. 

"Yeah, but I bet Mr. McMahon told him something about that," Christian said. 

"I heard him tell this Evan not to come until everything was over," Trish added to the information. 

"Well, that only means Shannon's old friend is being kept from the opposition," Matt said. "That is, if it really _is_ him. 

"Old friend?" Edge asked. 

"But I thought Evan betrayed 3-Count," Trish recalled. 

"Well, let's just say Shannon betrayed Helms and joined Evan," Matt added to the facts. "Afterwards, Noble was way out of the picture. Don't ask me how I know. Mattitude has picked up a lot of information from the WWE's active members of 3-Count over the past few years." 

"Well, was Mattitude going then?" Jeff asked in an attempt to remind him that Mattitude never even existed in any human mind before the July Hardy Betrayal. 

"Uh, it was hidden in my head?" Matt tried to lie. 

"Don't try to hide," Trish said. "You didn't even think of Mattitude back then and you know it." 

"Are you trying to make me feel bad?" Matt retorted. 

"No, I'm trying to be honest," Trish said nonchalantly. 

"I can accept that," Matt said. "After all, it is true that nobody ever thought of Mattitude back then. The _sign_ was completely uncommon at the time." 

"You can say that again," Edge grinned. 

"You still hate me from those old days, don't you?" Matt asked. 

"No, man," Edge said. "I never did. It was just the competitive edge." 

"And do you have any words that can make me believe that?" Matt asked. 

"Um, no?" Edge said. 

"Ah, just kidding, I know you like the competition," Matt said. 

"Uh, Hardy Boyz, you're needed by Mr. McMahon in the office," Heyman told them from behind. 

They turned around. 

"What?" Matt asked in the 'please repeat' form. 

"Mr. McMahon needs you to come into the office," Heyman repeated. 

"Lead the way," Jeff said. 

That the former ECW owner did. When they got there, Matt asked what the boss needed. Vince got right to the point. 

"Well, I just want to say that Eric's been in charge of a nationwide poll determing which tag team is the most popular, and he's called saying that more people selected the Hardy Boyz than any other tag team in WWE." 

"That would explain him not being here this week," Matt said. "Is that it?" 

"Well, for one thing, welcome back," Vince said. 

Jeff snickered. He knew what the 'welcome back' was about. 

"What are you snickering about?" Matt asked. 

"It's just funny that the boss is welcoming you back to a group he's not even in," Jeff explained. 

"Well, now you can leave," Vince excused them. 

The Hardyz left for the Red Brood locker room. 

"What was it about?" Edge asked. 

"Eric's poll says we're the most popular tag team around," Matt boasted. 

"So far it does, but we're going to come up," Edge said. 

"I'm guessing that some people voted for Jericho and Christian as well as Edge and Christian," Jeff said. 

"So you're saying that me having both as tag partners makes it be that neither I nor either of them can't really get a big chance?" Christian asked. 

"Absolutely," Matt said. He knew his brother would say something that meant yes, so he decided to do it for him. 

"Matt, I think we should leave," Jeff told him. 

"Why?" Matt asked. 

"For the simple reason that the H5 might be worried about us." 

"You're just saying we're taking too long," Matt said. "But I believe you. Sorry, guys, but we've got to go." 

"Maybe another chat later?" Edge asked. 

"Yeah," Matt assured him. The Hardyz left. 

1:31 PM: The H5 Team Extreme just finished with a few little things, and now they were back in their own locker room. 

"Well, we're here," Lita said. 

"Our first full SmackDown as a whole team now," Matt finished for her. She turned to him with a smile. 

"Well, it's about time you came back," Marissa told him. "Why'd you leave us like that?" 

"I'd rather talk about how we're headed to dealing with them," Matt answered. 

"Well, for one thing, it's not going to be easy," Lita said. "That's all I can say. The thing is, actually, with a few warmups, we have it in the bag." 

"What, the match against Noble and Nidia? That's easy. I mean, Nidia barely ever wrestles and Jamie's just a cruisrerweight." 

"You're only six pounds over," Lita informed him. 

"Come on," Matt complained. 

"I'd rather say we're also here," Shane interrupted. 

"And I'd rather say you're about to pay!" Cena yelled from outside the door. 

Matt decided to try chasing him again, now completely infuriated by the rap, especially since Cena turned out to be part of the enemy. 

The thing is, he was soon led into a steel chair shot from Noble. 

"You ain't gettin' nowhere on us!" 

Close behind, the rest of the H5 immediately came up to the two bad guys. In an attempt to run, Noble and Cena ended up bumping into...unfortunately, The Undertaker and Kane. 

"Ow!" Taker screamed. He then punched Noble down. 

"And it figures it's those two," Kane said. Cena ran the other way, cornered by the H5. He was trapped. Suddenly, he realized: there's a door! He could hide in there. He finds out where that door leads as he enters. It's none other than Goldberg's locker room. You can hear some very painful sounds coming from in there. 

"Should we go in?" Lita asked. 

"Nah," Jeff said. "I think he's already got enough cajun for one day." 

The H5 left into their own locker room. Shane carried Matt in. 

A few minutes later... 

Shane and Jeff, who were checking on Matt while everyone else was just conversing amongst themselves, jumped up and left. As they were walking down the hall... 

"I tell you, Jeff, this plan is not only going to work," Shane bragged, "but it'll also...um..." 

"Ensure he's up and mad?" Jeff finished. 

"Yeah, until he remembers the steel chair," Shane said. 

"That'll tell him we did good, all right," Jeff said. 

"Well, here we are," Shane said. "The water room." 

He then knocked, and out came Arn. 

"What do you need?" he asked. 

"A bucketful of water?" Shane answered, making it sound like a question. 

With the words "stay here", Arn left. After about a minute, he had a bucket full of sink water in hand. 

"Thanks," Shane said, taking the bucket. They then left and went right back to the room. Before they got there, however... 

"Now I don't think what they did was right," Lita said. 

"I know, but we can't overreact or we'll be punished...somehow," Matt calmed her down, thinking she was ready to do something ballistic to them. He had gotten up in the middle of their scheme. 

"Well, bro, we're up at bat," Jeff said. 

"Huh?" Matt asked. 

"Now!" Jeff yelled. At that point, Shane poured the water all over Matt's head. 

"Hey!" Matt yelled, pointing at Jeff. "You were in on this, weren't you!?" 

"Actually, I was," Shane corrected him. "The thing is, we thought that it was the only way to wake you up. Actually, I came up with it and told him that, and he agreed, so I decided to go along with it. But, we saw that you're up already, so we decided to do it anyway for fun." 

"That was a waste of water!" Matt yelled. 

"Come on, Matt, lighten up," Lita persuaded. 

"Yeah, man, it was only a joke," Shannon added. 

"Well, that wasn't a very good one, because I haven't heard any laughs," Matt countered. 

"Oh, really?" a voice outside the door came, and there was Edge. 

"What are you doing here?" Lita asked. 

"Look outside," Edge said. Lita did, and she saw Christian in a horrid laugh. 

"That was hilarious! Man, you should've seen the look on Matt's face!" 

"All right, who's there?" Matt demanded to know who was laughing at him. He then saw... 

_Just as I suspected. Christian takes it as a joke._

"Look, I'm sorry if that made you mad, all right?" Shane decided to apologize before Matt did something rash. 

"Hey, I know no harm was meant," Matt said, now excusing it because he actually knew what he said he knew. 

"Yeah, but that was so funny you guys could use it as a clown act and earn some extra money!" Christian laughed. "Maybe you could half-double your pay!" 

"Shut up," Edge told him. He was getting sick of this laughing. It's been recklessly going on for an entire two minutes. 

"All right, I'll stop," Christian finally did so. "Sourpuss." 

"Hey, what was that?" 

Meantime... 

"Welcome to the group," Cena's voice rang out from under that door. 

Welcome who to the group is what everybody wants to know. That might be provided sometime soon... 

8:14 PM: Lita and Trish came out to the Over the Edge theme, which was given a little Stratusfaction parody by putting in the opening laugh to Time to Rock and Roll in to be simultaneous with the "You think you know me" remark before the actual music starts. Lita was wearing that old H3 top from RAW and greenish NC pants while Trish wore a red tanktop and red double-lined pants with the Stratsfaction Guaranteed sign. Then came Noble and Nidia's theme. The trailer park girl came out with her boyfriend and none other than Jazz. The tough "Dominant Diva" as she was called was the same height of 5'7" that Lita and Nidia went by. She sported a golden top with black spots and golden short tights while her tag team partner wore a brown tied top and the exposively short jeans again. To bring memories of the old WWF Commissioner Mick Foley in his wrestling days, the top was cut from a version of the old sleeveless Mankind shirt. Meanwhile, the only man who would serve ringside, Jamie Noble, was out there wearing a flannel vest and cut jeans. Did I say the only man who would serve ringside? 

I don't think I was right, because right after the starting bell rang, Matt came out in the V1 shirt and purple/gold Matt Pants and Edge came out in the Edgehead shirt and blue Edge long tights. Matt chased Noble while Edge cut his route with a Spear. Matt and Edge then carried Noble up the ramp. Matt let Edge take the whole load and said something to him and the 240-pounder from Toronto nodded. Suddenly, Jeff came in the sleeveless Imagination picture shirt and the black/silver Matt Pants. The Hardyz watched the match from the middle of the ramp, which was currently being dominated by Jazz as her tag team partner was at least momentarily holding her own against Trish. Jazz now picks Lita up by the head and hits her in the back. Now, Jazz is just laughing at Lita and every time she tries to get up, she gives her hard punches to the back. Okay, now Matt's beginning to go mad, but Jeff's trying to plead him back into rationality, and surprisingly doing a good job of it. Suddenly, Lita trips Jazz flat on her back and Whispers her, and Trish irishwhips Nidia onto the guardrail. At that point, Jazz kicked out of Lita's cover, which could have probably ended in a whole three if Jazz didn't get over being taken by surprise. Suddenly, out comes Cena himself sporting a Redskins version of his old tights. He uses his elbows to knock both Hardy Boyz down from behind and he then used his steel chain to knock them both out. It was on both his hands, which were folded together during the elbow attack, but more dominantly on his right. That's the one it was on as he made the knockdown. Meantime, Lita had fired a few punches to Jazz when she finally noticed fans booing. She then felt as though she was being disrespected by the fans, but she didn't understand why. She suddenly thought it could be something else. At that point which Jazz returned to her on the Irishwhip, her concentration was broken. Jazz took advantage. She noticed that they were booing before that and Lita was disconcentrated. She suddenly looked at the ramp. With a big smile on her face, she noticed the Hardyz getting the tar chained out of them. She suddenly flips Lita stomach first, comes on top of her and moves her so as she could see it perfectly without turning around. She then painfully turns the downed woman's chin up as if to make things unbearable for Lita. Now, Trish had taken care of Nidia. However, in her attempts to get into the ring, she was blocked by referee Mike Chioda. Suddenly, she went onto the turnbuckle. Chioda thought she was going to jump onto Jazz's back. That was going to hurt Lita as well, as she would be crushed underneath the rubble. He ordered Trish to get off that thing. Ignoring that command, Trish called Jazz's name. However, Jazz's ears were unwilling to listen and kept on with the painful hold. Trish tried it again. No answer. Finally, a third time, Trish screamed at the top of her lungs. Jazz finally heard, and she threw Lita's head down, got up and looked up at Trish. She walked straight into a Hurracanrana...or so we thought, because Jazz stopped it in midtime and turned it into a Death Valley Driver. She suddenly picks Trish up, thinking it's time for the Flowing DDT. However, Trish rips her off and headlocks her into position for the Stratusfaction Bulldog. At that, Trish fires. 1, 2, 3. Nidia's back up, however, and she's behind her. Things don't look well until Michaels (white sleeveless shirt and full jeans) and Nash (black sleeveless shirt and long redbolt design tights with white outlines) come out. Michaels calls Cena's name. Cena stops. He attempts to run away from Michaels and Nash. They do the same thing Matt and Edge did to catch Noble except Nash's cutoff move is a kick to the midsection and a bringing into the ring. At this point, Nidia's already laughing about having handed Trish some Emerald Fusion. Cena calls her to help. Nash corners Cena to a turnbuckle post and then irishwhips him towards another. Michaels shoves Nidia off and hands Cena a little bit of Sweet Chin Music! Now, the boos are gone. The Hardyz are up and bloodied. We know Jeff and Michaels were scheduled to go against Noble and Cena, but apparently the head of the Express has destroyed one half of the opposition, and he didn't think the other half cared. 

8:42 PM: Lita and the others stand in concern for the sitting Hardy Boyz. 

"Damn him," Jeff muttered. "Damn that kid. I can't wait to get my hands on him-" 

"I heard that," Matt said. "And I say we stay here for the rest of the day." The Hardyz each had more than a pack of bandages on their heads in order to keep blood from dripping. 

"No," Jeff decided. "I want to keep going. Shawn and I are gonna beat those two. It's the least I can do to prove I'm not just a monkey. 

"Jeff, I don't know if people'll think you're more or less of a monkey if you actually go forward with this," Lita told him. 

"Who really cares? That kid tried to kill me with that chain. If it weren't for Shawn and Kevin stepping in like that, we'd both probably be dead. The least I can do to repay the man is to keep going with this match and make it be that we both make that kid pay. 

9:05 PM: The Sexy Boy theme goes on suddenly to a world of cheers and screams as Michaels comes out in the red Hearts long tights and Jeff comes in the same old outfit plus a bandaid bandana. Cena's theme goes on to boos as he comes out with the same Redskins version of his semi-shorts and Noble sports the same cut jeans as always. 

Noble and Cena immediately double-team Michaels before Brian Hebner can put order in. They know Michaels is as well-conditioned as ever, and Jeff's head is a living hell. The thing is, HBK was able to fight them off, and Jeff decided to give himself a minute's break before actually doing something. Suddenly, the T&A Express members backed Michaels into a corner and decided to stomp on him. Now Jeff had to get into the act. He decided to knock Cena down with a front dropkick to the back. He got Noble's attention and immediately blocked a punch which was headed for the forehead and handed a few of his own. Then came the irishwhip. He decided to think mat - or should I say think Matt - and go with the Side Effect. He caught Cena running after him and started the setup for a chokeslam. He then threw Cena down and started stomping him to heck. It was at that point that Noble decided to come from behind and hit Jeff. He then turned him around and Irishwhipped him. At the return, Jeff ended up taking a Drop Toe Hold. Suddenly, Noble came down sitting on top of Jeff's back and started nooging him. That itched. Michaels then kicked Noble's head from behind and stopped Cena from hitting Jeff from behind with the steel chair he held in hand by calling his name again. Cena decided to try going after the HBK, who ended up handing the steel chair some Sweet Chin Music! It then went right into Cena's face. It was painful. It probably knocked him out. Noble then clotheslined Michaels out of the ring and decided to apply that same submission Jazz did on Lita to Jeff. But since Jeff had nothing to see, Noble had once taken three seconds during the minute of submission to keep ramming Jeff's head on the ring canvas. Albert tried to come out in leather pants and plain shortsleeve shirt (all black), but there was one problem. He wasn't going to get to the bottom of the steel ramp without everyone being interrupted by the Lord of Darkness theme, which automatically leaves way for Undertaker's arrival. Taker decided to run in his torn sleeve suit shirt and loose long tights before the walking lurking beast could get into the ring. Suddenly, Undertaker and Albert had a confrontation just outside the ring. They exchanged a few right hands, and then Taker got the upper hand of them. He knocked Albert down wth one and waited for his rise. Once that occured, Albert was thrown into the steel steps. Taker picked him up and Tombstoned him. While that happened, Noble and a resurgent Cena were distracted, but so were Jeff and Michaels. Noble then continued trying to make Jeff tap. Jeff had heart and determination, though. He wouldn't give in. Finally, he reached the ropes. Noble was forced to break the hold. Cena came in with the chair and actually hit the HBK, who had come in at the same time. In doing that, Cena got his team disqualified. He then hit the downed HBK again with the chair to the skull twice. He was about to do it a third time, but the chair seemed 10 times heavier. He looked behind him, and he saw why: Undertaker was holding it off. Suddenly, it was snatched. Taker threw it away. Cena was shocked. He thought Taker had left. Suddenly, he found himself lifted upside down being held by the Prime Minister of Brimstone. It came. Tombstone Piledriver. Cena was lights out. Noble was stomping on Jeff, but Taker saw that. He then turned Noble off and chokeslammed him. Then came the Last Ride Powerbomb. Taker slid out and left. 

9:35 PM: The No Chance theme came and Vince and Raymond came out in the very same old outfits again. Another announcement from the boss was sure to come. As he took a mic from Lilian, the news went up. 

"Well, there are a few things that I need to get on point right now. First thing, it's about Judgment Day. I've been seeing several Internet complaints about the Battle Royal. Since the WWE Heavyweight Champion Bill Goldberg isn't even on the card, the battle royal means he won't be at the show. Well, I've decided to replace it with a match that puts possibly the two most dominant wrestlers in the history of this business against one another. So, this Sunday at the Conseco Fieldhouse in front of thousands and on Pay-Per-View in front of millions and millions of WWE fans, Goldberg will be defending his title against the 295-pound monster from Minnesota, BROCK LESNAR!!! Now, onto other issues. Kane and The Undertaker have come into the office and said that they want their World Heavyweight Championship match to be a Tombstone Casket Match. Now, I didn't understand that at first, but they explained that there were going to be two caskets in the ring. One was going to hold Kane in it, and the other holds Taker. When it's time for the match to start, both caskets will open and the match will lay the SmackDown on the industry! The winner is the person who can send the opponent back into HIS OWN coffin via means of TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! Now, onto other issues. It's been made official about the fact that Nidia and her boyfriend Jamie Noble are forced to win in order to keep her off of the team of Al Snow, Maven and Chris Nowinski. They haven't specified a name for themselves yet...no, wait, Al came into the office earlier today and told me they named themselves the Tough Trax with the x instead of c-k-s at the end. Oh, and yes, it's still unfair to Matt and Lita that they didn't get the chance to keep themselves alive...not revive themselves, KEEP THEMSELVES ALIVE!!! And that Noble and Nidia do. But I trust that this Sunday will put a judgment on these two problems. Now, for the last thing. All the office assistants. Stephanie, Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff. They are...no, they're not getting anyone else in the cast. The thing is, Linda's coming this Sunday, and right now, we're thinking of assignment positions for the assistants. Vince McMahon is done speaking. Enjoy the rest of the show. Goodbye, everyone! Until Judgment Day!" 

The No Chance theme goes off again as Vince and Raymond leave. But Vince goes back in and takes the mic again, and he speaks once more. 

"Oh, yeah, and if you two - I'm referring to Jamie and Nidia - lose and you're not separated accordingly by the time RAW is over this coming Monday night, then there will be severe reprocussions. And they are as follows: (evil voice) YOU WILL BE FIRED. (normal voice) And with NO invitation of return! Plus, I also forgot to mention that SuperBrawl is brought into the second half of the year. Its date will be changed to what should be the date of Vengeance: July 20th. On June 22nd comes a brand new Pay-Per-View Paul came up with last night. It is called EXECUTION!!!" 

10:31 PM, after SmackDown: The H5 is once again in their locker room. Jeff sat on the edge of his bed and the others looked at him in concern. 

"Owww!" Jeff grimaced in pain. His head was killing him after that match. 

"Well, I think you have regrets about going into that match now," Shane concluded. 

"Jeff, calm down," Lita persuaded. "Stop moving around. You need to get some rest." 

"Why couldn't you have let me or Shane take the match?" Shannon asked. 

"Because neither of you asked," Jeff said. "Argh! My head hurts!" 

"Jeff, be quiet and get some rest!" Matt ordered faintedly from his bed. "Lay down, go to sleep. Don't do anything. It'll go away by Judgment Day. Right now, you need to let your blood cells take care of everything." With that, he was so fast asleep it looked as though he passed out. 

"He's okay," Shane told Lita before she could go into the panic stage. 

"Are those guys okay?" Steph came and asked with concern. "They sure were roughed up back there." 

"I think those two'll be all right if they get some rest," Marissa told her. 

"Good, because I already have work to worry about." 

"I know," Shannon told her. "But don't worry. You'll be okay. He won't let anything happen to you. Don't worry about Matt and Jeff. They just need a little rest and they'll be good as new by Sunday." 

"I think I'll talk to you guys later," Steph said. She then left. 

"What's she worried about Matt for?" Lita asked. 

"It's natural," Shane nonchalantly said. 

Matt, Jeff, Lita and Shane all have a match at Judgment Day. First, we head to Jeff teaming with his good Red Brood friend Christian. Will those two be able to defeat Test and Albert? And, seeing as though Christian betrayed Edge back in 2001 and Jeff got betrayed by Matt in 2002, will the 215-pound Canadian pull a double repeat on Jeff? If so, will it be before or after the match. Also, Matt and Lita are in a so-called couple vs. couple match against Noble and Nidia. The stipulation says is Noble and Nidia get beat, Nidia has to join the Tough Trax and kiss her relationship with Jamie Noble goodbye. But is that truly bound to happen? Are the expectations for Matt and Lita to win put correctly? Or has Cena already done the damage? Speaking of Cena, he's got a match against Shane for the World Intercontinental Championship. Will the thug take what was once the Federation's greatest gold or will Shane-O-Mac keep it in the H5's corner? Plus, as we just found out, Vince is naming positons during the Pay-Per-View as it pertains to his assistants. Who's doing what? That is all to be awaited DEARLY in _Chapter 26: The Final Match of Judgment_. 


	26. The Final Match of Judgment

**Warside Vengeance**   
**Chapter 26: The Final Match of Judgment**

Sunday, May 18th, 2003   
Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, IN 

10:36 AM: The Hardyz are still in need to lie in bed right now. The Red Brood and H5 Team Extreme had all been very concerned about them over the past few days. Their heads seem to be almost fully recovered from the hulking blood concussion caused by the chain assault. 

"They're getting better," Lita reported. 

"That's good," Shane said. "They're at least in competition shape, but they still need some rest. Or else, I don't want to say this, but they might not be able to compete afterwards until Execution." 

"Shannon, would you stop humming like that? It's annoying," Marissa told him. He's been humming the Launch Octopus theme from Mega Man X for the past hour, and it was getting very annoying. 

"Give me 44 minutes to do so," Shannon said, still in that tone. 

"Argh! You are impossible!" Marissa yelled. Shannon was trying to hum the same theme for 100 straight minutes, nonstop. I don't know if that's ever happened before. And if he needed to speak in the tone once in a while, that was okay. As long as he stayed on it, he was still on the record. 

A knock is on the door. 

"Come in," Marissa invited whoever was there. 

The door opened, and in stepped Hogan. 

"Well, I saw what happened to Matt and Jeff this past Thursday night, so I decided to drop in and check on him," Hogan said. 

"Well, now they're better," Marissa said. "But they still need a bit more rest." 

"I understand," Hogan said. "I'm not even competing tonight. It sucks, but I've got to wait another day. The two of them have already been booked for tonight, and I don't want them to go under the same suck as me. I hope the two of them can recover. When they're up, tell them I wished them good luck." With that, the Hulkster left. 

"He's such a class act," Shane said. "It's one of those things which make people respect him. You know, with that kind of greatness in his book, you would think he was an arrogant jerk. But he went out of his own way to actually wish the Hardyz luck in their recovery, and he's barely ever talked to anyone in this room. I can't even remember any time he ever did." 

"It takes a tremendous show of respect to know one," Lita commented. 

"I don't know about that one," Shane said. Lita and Marissa stared. He laughed and they sighed, shaking their heads. 

"What's going on?" Shane asked. 

"Don't you know?" Marissa asked. "By the looks of it, you have no sense of humor." 

"What!?" Shane was surprised. 

"You heard me," Marissa said. "You are not funny. At least that wasn't." 

"Well, don't pick on me!" Shane yelled. 

"Shusk!" Marissa ordered pointing to the Hardy beds again. 

"Hey, what...happened?" Matt asked faintedly. 

"Well, for one thing, we're here at the Conseco," Shane explained. 

"And tonight's Judgment Day," Lita added. 

"You ready?" Matt asked her. 

"Oh, yeah," Lita said. 

Suddenly, in comes Nidia. 

"Can I talk to you for a second?" she asked, looking at Lita. 

"Whatever can you possibly say to make up for what you've done?" Lita demanded. 

"Come on, just...just hear me out," Nidia quickly pleaded. 

"What?" Lita asked. 

"Can we go outside?" Nidia asked. 

"If you're planning on using that trick on me, you're sadistic," Lita said sternly. 

"That is not my intention whatsoever," Nidia assured. 

"Well, what is? Luring me into a trap? Locking me into a dark room?" 

"No, now come on." 

"Go on, Li," Shane said. "But I'm behind you." 

"Yeah, me too," Marissa said. "Shannon, you coming or what?" 

Shannon was still trying to make humming history when his concentration was broken. 

"Huh?" 

"Are you coming? Nidia wants to talk to Lita, but we don't trust her, so we're accompanying. You coming?" 

"Yeah, but why'd you have to destroy my record?" Shannon protested. 

"Stop whining about some dumb hum record and come on," Marissa ordered firmly. 

"Okay, but I don't like that," Shannon said in a pout before getting up from his desk chair. 

"Oh, shut up," Marissa sighed irritatedly. 

When they got outside the arena... 

"What did you want to talk about?" Lita asked. 

"I'm sorry," Nidia said. 

"What?" Lita asked in the 'please repeat' way. 

"I mean, I never wanted to actually harm you in the way I did." 

"What are you talking about?" Lita demanded. 

"Okay, okay, I know you don't trust me, and I know that's why you brought your friends along, but this is all fair and good. I'm terribly sorry about seducing Matt. I really did want to talk to him that day. I didn't want to seduce him. Look." 

_"At around four o'clock on April 20th, the day of Backlash, I told Mr. McMahon that I wanted to talk to Matt tomorrow at noon. When I came into the locker room, Jamie asked me where I went. I told him nowhere, and then after a while, he forced me to tell him. He said I wasn't going to talk to anybody but him, and I was forced to agree to that. But then, while he was watching some show with lots of ladies on it in swimsuits, I protested against him for about a minute. He says that as I was blabbering around, he thought of something. He says the ladies did take his attention for a moment, and that was exactly what he was going to make me do to Matt. He said I was going to talk to him, but through my butt."_

"After actually going through with that sick scheme, I felt sick. Don't get me wrong, I don't think your boyfriend sucks. I actually kinda like him. But I never wanted to do this! I mean, tearing a dent in a team and a felow woman's heart isn't something I'm accustomed to doing. And nor is forcing a guy to be around me through my buttocks. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you guys. But please. Don't treat me as a friend when we're in the ring, okay? I won't hold anything back, because right now, as it stands, Jamie and I are defending our relationship, and you and I are enemies tonight. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't love him for what he did. I do so for who he is. As for what he did, I hate it. But if I let my protestive feelings take over, though, he'll suspect something, and who knows what those guys would do to me if that happens." 

"Let me tell you this," Lita responded. "Rest assured that you're getting your wish. This is Judgment Day for you two. Your relationship will never live again after this night. Don't let on to them about this. Right now, you and Jamie Noble are against us in a match to save your future together. Forget all about your anger concerning what he did to me and Matt. But if - and I'm going to make sure this happens - you two end up broken up tomorrow, then you can let the man, yourself and everyone else on about how you hate him for what he forced you to do to us." 

"Thank you," Nidia said before turning and leaving back in. 

"Do you trust her?" Shane asked. 

"Her voice was sure and true," Lita said. 

"I take that as a yes," Marissa assumed. 

"You are absolutely right," Lita confirmed. 

"Okay!" Marissa celebrated. 

"All right, all right, let's cut it out, but let's get some food as to not look suspicious," Lita said. "Besides, I think the Hardyz'll need it." 

"Where do we get that?" Marissa asked. 

"There's a Subway station nearby," Lita said. 

"Yeah, and their burgers are tasty and really cheap," Shannon said. "Plus, I hear they don't make you fat." 

Lita led the way. As they were walking, Shane did a little singing... 

"Onto Subway we head, the way a sandwich should be. But there's one order which will be followed by we, and that order is...eat fresh." 

A few minutes later, they came back into the arena, headed for the H5 locker room. They had ten tasty burgers from Subway, each covered in plastic, 2 in a brown bag. Lita and Marissa held two bags each while Shannon and Shane carried three each. When they get there. 

"Matt, Jeff, wake up," Lita said. 

"Huh?" both Hardyz said. They each got out of their beds. 

"My head still hurts a little bit from that assault," Jeff complained. 

"Yeah, but you'll be good to go if you get a little more rest," Lita said. 

"I can see that, but why'd you wake us up?" Jeff asked. 

"We bought a few burgers from a Subway near here," Shannon answered. 

"Let's take 'em," Matt said. 

"Yeah, but we didn't just buy for this team. We also got some for the Red Brood," Shannon continued. 

"Let me guess, ten in all?" Jeff guessed. 

"Absolutely," Shannon answered. 

"Bring them in and tell them not to make noise," Matt suggested. 

"Might as well," Marissa said. "Meantime, I've got other business to handle. If any of you ask, I'm going to pull a rico on all of you." 

She then trails off to do her own bidding. 

Meantime, the Red Brood are in a very interesting conversation. 

"So, what'll we do about this? Only two of us have a match," Christian pointed out. 

"Wait, I've got a plan," Jericho started. "Christian, I'm your company for your tag match with Jeff. Edge, you go with Trish when it's her time. Good plan?" 

"That evens the score a bit," Christian said. 

"Shut up!" Trish commanded. "You people should already know why I am very grateful of this idea." 

"Well, then it's settled," Edge said to put an end to the conversation. "Might as well head over to the warmup room to check out everything els-" There was a knock at the door. 

"Come in," he called to whomever was there. Turns out it was three members of the H5. 

"What are you losers doing here?" Jericho arrogantly asked. 

"We're not losers, Y2J," Shane countered. 

"Come on, man, I was just kidding," Jericho said. 

"Oh," Shane said. 

"Well, what are you guys here about?" Christian seriously asked. 

"We just decided to invite you into our locker room for a moment," Lita explained. 

"Okay," Edge approved. "But why?" 

"Well, for one thing, we decided to let you guys have a little check on the Hardyz," Shannon said. "And another thing...no, wait, I'll let you find out for yourselves. Come on." 

The Red Brood decided to get off their seats and follow the H5 back. There, they saw the other reason. 

"Ten Subway Sandwiches!?" Edge exclaimed. 

"One each," Lita regulated. "They're eating, too." 

"What happened to Marissa?" Edge asked. 

"Well, she decided to take care of business, but we don't know what she was talking about," Lita answered. 

"Okay, now I can tell," Marissa said from outside the door. 

"Edge, open the door," Lita ordered. 

"Why me?" Edge asked. 

"You're the only one who seems to be doing anything," Lita told him. "Besides, I want a 'ten time lunch'." 

"I'll do it," Christian decided. He did so. Marissa stepped in. 

"I asked Mr. McMahon to take my maiden name of Mazzola out of WWE recognition," Marissa revealed. 

"Why would you do that?" Lita asked. 

"I think I'm too long for writing," Marissa answered. 

"That's nice," Edge said nonchalantly. 

"I suppose we should all-" 

"Wait," Lita interrupted her friend. "We need to get these two (points to the Hardyz) out of bed." 

"We can do that ourselves," Matt declined assistance. "Least I can, anyway." 

They both did, Matt first. 

After they all finished with the sandwiches... 

"So, how are your heads?" Jericho asked the Hardyz. 

"Ah, we're not completely a hundred percent yet, but we should be good to go," Matt commented. 

"In a few more hours, we'll be good as new," Jeff added. 

3:15 PM: The Hardyz were good as new, and they were up and ready to go. The rest of the H5 are in the locker room as well. 

"Whoo! The Hardy Boyz are back in business!" Matt exclaimed. 

"That's good to know," Shane responded. "I think you guys need to know something." 

"What?" Jeff asked. 

"It's about Nidia," Lita said. "She never wanted to be involved in this. That boyfriend of hers forced her. She did want to talk to you that day, Matt. She didn't want to do what she did." 

"What are you talking about?" Matt asked. 

"She told us this morning," Shane said. "Called Li out. We didn't trust her, so we followed along. Apparently Li trusts her by the tone of her voice." 

"Continue," Matt showed he was interested. 

"Jamie found out she told the boss that she wanted to talk to you at around 4:00 PM on the day of Backlash, and he completely disapproved. Then, Nidia caught him attracted to a bunch of swimsuit models. She was yelling at him, he was thinking. 'Perhaps I could use Nidia to attract _Matt_ away from _his_ girlfriend just like those swimsuit models distracted _me_ from _mine_' was probably what was in his head at the time, because he then said that Nidia was going to talk to you after all. Except she was going to do it through her butt," Lita told them. "She says she felt sick when it happened because of the dark magnitude of her actions. She's sorry about everything, but right now, she's fighting to stay with Jamie, and this protestive attitude'll lie dormant until they're no longer together. And that's _big_ until, so we better not screw up." 

"Well, I'll gladly put her out of her misery," Matt boldly stated. The rest of the H5 gasped. 

_Don't tell me he'll kill her,_ Shane panicked in thought. 

"By beating them tonight," he finished, making them sigh in relief. 

"That's Mattitude for you," Shannon said. 

Nice try, it caused a laugh. 

"Well, what do we do now?" Shane asked. 

"I think we should get some warmup helpings," Lita suggested. 

"Good idea," Shannon agreed. The others nodded to back that up. 

That they did. Lita had the Brawler, Matt had Finlay, Jeff had Laurinatis and Shane had Malenko. The Hardyz won their matches, while Lita and Shane lost theirs. But don't worry, warmups don't count in the record book. Marissa then called all of them to view the table. 

**Match Order - Contestants/Teams - Match Stipulations and Online Championships**   
Preliminary Match - Lieutenant Loco vs. _Billy Kidman_ - World Cruiserweight Championship   
First Match - Trish Stratus vs. _Victoria_ - WWE Women's Championship   
Second Match - _Chyna_ vs. Jazz - World Women's Championship   
Third Match - Jeff Hardy and Christian vs. Test and Albert   
Fourth Match - Matt Hardy and Lita vs. Jamie Noble and Nidia - Noble and Nidia loss = Nidia joins Tough Trax   
Fifth Match - _APA_ vs. Bill DeMott and The Big Show - WWE Tag Team Championships or Pink Slips   
Sixth Match - _Shane McMahon_ vs. John Cena - World Intercontinental Championship   
Special Intervention - Vince and Linda McMahon will name the job positions of the Office Assistants   
Seventh Match - _Bill Goldberg_ vs. Brock Lesnar - WWE Heavyweight Championship   
Eighth Match - Kane vs. _The Undertaker_ - Tombstone Casket Match, World Heavyweight Championship 

Meantime, in the T&A locker room... 

They're all talking, and Noble answers. 

"Package for Jamie Noble," a man says outside the door. He's holding a wrapped shoebox. 

"You're lookin' at him," Noble assured, taking it. 

"What's this? New shoes?" Cena asked when the man left and closed the door. 

Noble then greedily opens up. He finds his old blue Spearsword tights and a big smirk all over his face. 

"Excuse me while I go change," he then says. 

After a few minutes, he's back. The jeans are off, the Spearswords are on. 

"How do I look?" Noble bragged. 

"Ready to compete," Cena commented. 

"Good, now you're in the real spirit of competition," Nidia said. "We are absolutely sure to win this one." 

On to Judgment Day. 

Eddie Guerrero came out with Torrie Wilson tied up, therefore distracting Billy Kidman, who was just fighting off of one of Lieutenant Loco's assaults. That made him vulnerable to the Loco Buster, costing him the match and his Cruiserweight title.   
Trish Stratus was about to get in the Stratusfaction Bulldog when Bill DeMott, the nWo member sent to accompany Victoria, beat up Edge, breaking her concentration. She had decided to let go and fall through the ropes to try to help Edge. That desperation maneuver failed as she fell too hard. Victoria was able to put her back in the ring and knock her out with the Widow's Peak. That was an easy 1, 2, 3.   
Eddie comes off with his second strike, as Chyna was gaining the upper hand. John Cena was about to come interfere, but the Uncle Latino kept him off. Jazz now had no means of avoiding the Jackknife Powerbomb. Chyna got the cover and retained the World Women's title. 

8:18 PM, during Judgment Day: The Extreme theme goes on and out comes Jeff in the white shirt and black NC pants. When he's done with his dramatic entrance, out comes Christian with his theme in the old sleeveless brown mini-transparent shirt and a dark gray pair of long tights with his design in dark red. He is accompanied by the King of the World, who comes out in the short-sleeve Fozzy shirt and the pink namebrand pants. Out come Test and Albert to the This is Test theme. Test wears the white semi-shorts. Albert wears the black tights. With what? You should know. 

The two teams discuss for a few second who will be in the ring and that's when Albert and Christian retreat to the apron. Jeff points to Test and says some very disrespectful things, and who can blame him. The young leader of the group which includes the 662-pound tag team tried to kill Jeff with the steel chain. Hearing the remarks, Test immediately charged at Jeff, who ended up ducking and trying to go into the turnbuckle and set Test up to take a twisting body attack. The only problem is that this is at Albert's apron corner, the turnbuckle is. Because of this, Albert is able to push him, and Jeff Hardy came tumbling down. That caused a major problem, because now, Test is able to dominate on Jeff. He picks him up around the ribs from behind and drops him down in a german suplex. Jeff is lying flat on his stomach, and now he's picked up by the hair. Test then sets Jeff up for a powerbomb, but turns Jeff's body around. Now, they're both facing the same way and Test is holding Jeff up on his shoulders. He then throws Jeff up and before he can land on his feet, the Hardy feels a hard arm knock him down. His landing is a bit uncomfortable, as Test had him clotheslined. Jeff is laid, his neck hung on the second rope. Test presses the back of Jeff's neck in order to choke him out, since the pressure would be returned by the ropes. Now, Jeff's not feeling very good. Anyway, Test got off when the DQ count started by Earl Hebner comes to 4. Test now chopslaps the back of Jeff's neck. The problem: they're too close to Christian. Albert's yelling at him to "bring him back here!" and then, Test picks Jeff up by the back of the neck. Swinging and dropping, he throws Jeff over to the other corner. When Test gets there, he tags in Albert and immediately, the big bald man gets in and works on Jeff's head, holding it by the hair with the left and punching the brain with the right. When Hebner gets tired of seeing it, he calls the DQ count. 1, 2, 3, 4, Albert throws Jeff down. Christian's standing on the bottom rope yelling for Jeff to go over there and tag him in. Test points to him, and Albert immediately attempts to ram him off into the guardrail. Problem is, Christian sees it and gets off to the outside. Albert's momentum is used against him as he's practically thrown back. Before he goes too far, though, Christian trips him by placing his right hand in the path. Albert's left foot now slips. Christian uses it to drag him out. Now that Christian's done that, he stomps away on the bigger man until Albert gets up and chokes Christian as if going for the Baldo Bomb. However, he throws him into the stands, getting Christian out of the way. If only temporary, this bought time. For both teams, because Jeff was able to get back up. When Albert got back into the ring and went after Jeff, he was met with a few punches to the gut. Jeff then ran the other way and came back, but was met with a shot to the midsection. Albert then chokes him for the Baldo Bomb. However, when he finishes the raise and is actually about to bring Jeff down and out, Jeff actually manages to give him a trapped dropkick to the face and the move doesn't work! Jeff elbows Test off to the outside and goes for the Twist of Fate. However, he gets pushed into irishwhip. Upon his return, Jeff is met by a headbutt. Hebner, focusing on the match, is completely unaware that Jericho just got Christian out of the stands. Christian slides into the ring and punches Albert's spine three times. With those hits, the big bully is down on his knees. However, he manages to tag in Test, and the ref gets Christian out. Test picks Jeff up by the hair and irishwhips him. However, Jeff actually changes the route towards the turnbuckle nearest to Christian. He goes for another twisting body attack. It works. Jeff gets the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Jeff gets up and tags in Christian. Now, Albert gets in as well. Christian is on fire. He's punching both men down. After awhile, they're both up, and they're ready to hand him a clothesline sandwich. He pretends to fainy at the last minute, and they end up getting each other. They're both down hard. Christian picks up Test and sets him up for the Unprettier. Problem is, Test has too much power for this guy and he turns it into a backslide pin. 1, 2, kickout. Chrisrian's mad, now, and he dropkicks Test. Albert gets up and clotheslines him. Too close to Jeff, Albert gets guillotined. Albert's down. Jeff climbs up and gives Albert the Swanton and tells Christian, who just got up, to throw Test out. That the Canadian does, and Jeff gives him the Swanton all the way down outside. Christian isn't sure why Albert's down as though out, so he ensures himself that it's three time with an Unprettier. He then gets the cover. 1, 2, 3. 

"Here are your winners, Jeff Hardy and Christian!" the Fink called as Christian's theme blared on. 

8:34 PM: The Mattitude connection comes out and out come Matt and Lita to the Live for the Moment theme. Finally, the Matt Fact Section is back on, and these pertain to Matt and Lita tonight. They are... 

LITA IS   
OFTEN   
REFERRED TO   
AS VERSION   
LOVE. 

and 

MATT SAYS   
JAMIE NOBLE   
KNOWS NO   
MATTITUDE. 

Matt wears the same V1 shirt and purple/gold Matt Facts while Lita wears the white poison skull top and midnight green NC pants. Meanwhile, Noble and Nidia's theme goes on and out comes Noble in the Spearsword long tights he wore back in WCW (in case you never figured it out yet) and Nidia wears a leopard skin top and the same exposive jeans. 

Matt and Noble head behind the ropes into their apron corners. Lita and Nidia shake hands. Nidia then betrayas Lita by kicking her in the midsection and attempting to copy the Twist of Fate. However, Lita syhoves her off and attempts to go for a hurracanrana. However, Lita held on to the ropes at Matt's corner. Matt decided to grab onto her hair when she got off and he started spanking her. Noble was now infuriated. As Matt was spanking Nidia, Lita was punching her face. They heard the DQ count the moment it got to one and stopped. Mike Chioda officiated this one. Noble tried to get into the ring with a steel chair but Lita came away with a spinning heel kick to slap it right back in his face. That hurt her right ankle a little, though. Nidia throws her down by the hair and stomps away on her. She then elbows Matt in an attempt to get him out of the area. However, that doesn't work, and Matt gets in. He looks at Nidia with stalking eyes. She's back to stomping Lita now. Only the fans notice. Now, she picks Lita up and suplexes her...or so she thinks, because she ends up dropping the load and falling down faster and harder than she thinks. Why? V1's got her. He lands Lita on her feet. Following that, despite officials' protest, he drags Nidia by her hair over to hers and Noble's corner. Ramming her head against his, Matt decides to fall outside on top of Noble. That plan works. Lita irishwhips Nidia and goes for a hurracanrana, but before that happens, Nidia stops in the middle of the whip, showing some veteran wisdom, which is unlikely from someone who's technically a rookie. Last Judgment Day, she aided her man Noble in securing the WWE Cruiserweight Title from The Hamburglar...I mean The Hurricane. This Judgment Day, she's fighting with him to stay with him. That's a shame, isn't it? Meantime, Nidia goes off with a roundhouse kick and Lita's down hard. The thing is, Nidia doesn't have the old gun like Shamrock does, so it can't exactly finish the job. However, she does go for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Matt and Noble are back at their apron covers. Nidia gets a few quick legdrops on Lita before getting another cover. 1, 2, kickout. Nidia picks Lita up and gives her a snap suplex. 1, 2, kickout. Nidia now gets set for the Emerald Fusion. Problem is, Lita gets out and lands on two feet. Now going off with that same spinning heel kick she fired on the chaired Noble, Lita manages to hit Nidia hard. 1, 2, kickout. Cena comes out in the Jets color version of his tights and tries to attack Matt. The problem is, Matt saw that, and as soon as Cena tried to take him down, he moonsaulted right onto the T&A Express man. The surprising thing is who comes out now. Who am I talking about? "HOLLYWOOD" HULK HOGAN!!! That's who! The Hulkster walking down in that Hulkamania shirt and the black pants along with the Hulk Still Rules bandana. While walking down the ramp, Hogan stares at Cena. Cena notices and tries to run, but Matt holds him back. Hogan then comes and goes with the three punches. Matt turns him around and hands him the Twist of Fate. But that's not all the reason that John Cena can kiss the People's backside. Why else? Right after that, Matt picks him up and holds him up into a big boot from Hogan. What happens next? It's simple: the Hulkamania Leg Drop. Why does anyone asK? Meantime, in the ring, Lita's in trouble, because Nidia tagged in Noble, and now the West Virginia redneck is trying to catch her. Now that he finally has, she's screaming for help trapped in a sleeper hold. Matt immediately attempts to storm in, but Chioda won't let him. He suddenly comes up with a more than brilliant idea. Since Mike Chioda won't let him in, he might as well take out Nidia. He then slinks over to that other corner, takes Nidia down and gives her a Twist of Fate! He then throws her into the stands where all the men can look and try to touch. There's one problem, though. Noble's infuriated. Matt sees that Noble calls him in, and the only thing he can do about it smirk. Why smirk? I think he's proud of the fact that he'd dealt Noble a piece of his own psychotics. Matt tells Lita to get to their corner and runs back there so she can give him the tag before it's too late. Once that's done with, Matt leaps over the ropes into the ring, telling Noble that he'd come in. Noble continues to look down and turn his back to Matt until the clothesline effect comes to Version 1. Cena suddenly thinks to disqualift Matt and Lita by hitting Noble in the head with a steel chair (he's back up, you know), but Hogan takes the chair and decides to give Cena another treatment of Hulkamania. A few more punches. A scoop slam. A Hulkamania Leg Drop. Noble's stomping away on Matt. Nidia's conscious again. She's scrambling to get out of the crowd. However, that doesn't prove to be good luck at all. 

_Now, I'm good-looking, but not this much!_ she protests in her head. _They act like I'm a slut sleeper!_

The No Chance theme goes off and Mr. McMahon stands at the top of the ramp with his suit on. 

"I can clearly see they're some misconduct coming from the people far ahead on the right of the ring," he pointed out. "Now, would you fans do me the honor of stopping the crazy acts and LETTING NIDIA GET BACK TO THE MATCH!?" The fans booed, and those over there kept on with the act. "Oh, yeah. Well, I can manipulate this. If she's not on the inside of the rail by the count of ten, Matt and Lita are disqualified! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8-okay, now I'll be going over to the table. I'll start the count not all over again, but from eight if this happens again. However, I'll take the number down by every two minutes. You people act like sexual lumberjacks! I'm never bringing another Pay-Per-View to this place again!" 

The fans did let her off at the eight, and now they booed McMahon. I don't like saying this, but he did the right thing, the boss did. Nidia was practically molested, and now she was basically tired out. Unable to go back into the ring. 

In the meantime, Noble tried to go off with the Tiger Bomb, but Matt backtossed him. Problem is, now Matt was not asking, but telling Noble to get up. Noble tried to make the referee think Marvin Harrison was in the arena so he could give Matt the low blow without being disqualified. Matt saw right through that trick and ran to the ropes, Noble got up and tried to greet his return with a clothesline, but Matt ducked and stopped. The two turned around, and now Matt fired a shot to the midsection towards Noble and the result of that: Twist of Fate! Matt hooked the leg for the cover. 1, 2, 3! 

"Here are your winners, Matt Hardy and Lita!" 

That's right, Howard. Version One and Version Love have defeated the Trailer Park couple, indeed ending any hopes of a future these two ever had! The Live for the Moment theme blared again! And this time, Matt and Lita were completely victorious! They made history again. They broke up, got back together and OFFICIALLY separated the couple responsible for their breakup, a feat that had probably never been accomplished before as far as the record books are concerned. And they have plenty of people to credit for it! Everyone who made an effort. His fellow H5 Team Extreme members, the Red Brood, Kane and The Undertaker, Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash, Hulk Hogan, everyone who were part of the anti-Mattitrails resistance effort. This war was now one match away from coming to an end! During the celebration, the two showed a lot of Mattitude and even got in a quick kiss. Meantime... 

Off to another part. 

After Bradshaw got the Clothesline from Hell on The Big Show, Ron Simmons made a surprise move of breaking up the three count and handing Bradshaw the Faarooq Spinebuster. Once that was done, he got Show on top of Bradshaw. 1, 2, 3. Show got out of the way, DeMott fired the No Laughing Matter Moonsault. Apparently, Simmons forgot the stipulation of losing, as he just cost himself and Bradshaw their titles. Vince came out and reminded him before firing the APA. 

9:03 PM: The Mattitude Connection goes off, and people are expecting Matt Hardy. There's one problem, though. It's not Live for the Moment by Monster Magnet that goes on, it's The Anthem by Good Charlotte! Out comes Shane McMahon in an old WWF Attitude shirt and a black pair of pants. It's his new theme! Oh, yeah, remember, the Matt Facts are back, and here are about two pertaining to Shane. 

MATT   
RECOMMENDED   
THE ANTHEM   
TO VINCE   
FOR SHANE. 

and 

SHANE IS   
5 YEARS   
OLDER THAN   
MATT. 

Meantime, out comes Cena to his theme wearing...you know what. 

Shane decided to lunge at Cena, but got a Drop Toe Hold in the process. Being tripped like that isn't cake and candy. Ask him. He knows now. Anyway, Shane gets up from it and manages to counter a right hand from Cena. Normally, he'd just lay a few regular punches on somebody, but in this case, he's laying the smacketh down on John Cena! He irishwhips him into a Hurracanrana. He now gets the cover on him. 1, 2, kickout. Shane decides to pick up Cena and deliver more of the smacketh down! That's The Rock's technique you're using, Shane! Stop it! You're being a copycat! Oh, well. Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. The Rock should understand there's no disrespect intended in what Shane's doing. I understand that better than anyone. In fact, Shane's keeping it up until finally, Cena's at the rope. He clotheslines Cena out. Shane now quickly comes out and then throws Cena into the steel steps. That would be called psycho move. However, Shane understands that Cena assaulted and probably would have killed his best friend wasn't for the HBK, Shawn Michaels. Now, he felt vengeful. He wasn't going to let Johnny C escape this match in condition to compete the very next night. Shane brought him in and went for the Twisted Moonsault. The problem is, he missed. The ruthless aggression sprang in Cena once more as he now sat on Shane's back and punches the back of his head. DQ count by Mike Sparxx. 1, 2, 3, 4, let go. Cena picked Shane up and gave him a few punches that sent Shane to one knee. He then suplexed him. It was his turn to be aggressive. He irishwhipped Shane and greeted his return with a toss to the outside in which Shane's chin collapsed into the guardrail. Cena was booed by frantic fans. They were afraid that those two men would try to kill each other. Why does Cena want the IC title this bad? No, I think it's ruthless aggression. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. Now Cena brings Shane back into the ring and tries to choke him. DQ count comes up. 1, 2, 3, 4, let go. Cena now tries to go for the Fire Thunder Driver, but Shane lands on his feet and counters it into D-Von's Saving Grace! 1, 2, Cena miraculously kicks out. Takes a while for both men to get up, but they're both trying to vicously attack each other. Shane's attempting to go forward with a speeder jab. Cena's trying to punch him. They're both blocking each other. It takes a pretty long time for this to end, but the next thing you know, Cena steps on Shane's right shoe. The simple yet painful maneuver is enough for Cena to fire the Fire Thunder Driver on Shane. That being done, Cena gets the cover on Shane. 1, 2, 3. John Cena is your new World Intercontinental Champion. 

But, that really doesn't matter that much now because the main match the H5 needed to win was Matt and Lita vs. Noble and Nidia, and that match went into the hands of good old Version One. Anyway, back onto the show, we're headed to the other parts. 

Vince and Linda McMahon came out and named the assistants' positions. Heyman got the position of contract negotiator. Bischoff got the poaition of match booker. Stephanie's position was messenger and stipulator. Linda also announced that she was going to be sticking around and staying in the office.   
Bill Goldberg got Brock Lesnar in a Jackhammer after a long hard fight. After getting the cover, 1, 2, 3, the monster was still roaring and holding the World Title.   
Several chokeslams came into play, but none could win the match. Kane was about to Tombstone The Undertaker into his own casket, but Taker got out of it. Although he landed in, it was not the way Kane would win. Soon, Taker was able to fight of the man and for him into a Tombstone into the red coffin. He then called out Hurricane and announced the group's name as the Nightmares of Brimstone. 

11:21 PM: The H5 was all back. 

"Whoo hoo! We did it!" Matt celebrated. 

"Damn it, I lost the title!" Shane pouted. "**And** I was beginning to live for the moment!" 

"Relax, man. Christian and I kicked the big men's butts and we finished off Jamie and Nidia," Jeff said. "That's really all that matters. Besides, you did your best. That was awesome the way you laid the smackdown all over John. You lived for the moment, all right. But we can let the gold wait another day. Tomorrow, we've got to make sure those two follow the rules." 

"Yeah, you're right," Shane agreed. "We did it! We ended them, and it didn't even take a weapon!" 

"Good thing Hulk Hogan was here," Lita added. 

"Hogan? Oh, yeah, I saw it!" Marissa exclaimed. 

"It's a basic principle of Mattitude," Matt started. "Where there's a will, there's a way. And we found the way! Lita, you don't know it, but we've made history again!" 

"What!?" Lita shrieked. 

"Don't worry, I'll explain later," Matt calmed down. 

"Okay!" Lita exclaimed. 

Elsewhere... 

Nidia walked off and left the T&A Express locker room. She headed to that of the Tough Trax. When she finally got there, she knocked on the door. 

"Come on in," Al greeted. "You're one of us now." 

"What's _she_ doing here?" Nidia commented about Ivory. 

"She was basically always a Tough Enough trainer, and she'll be one of the veteran leaders of this little group of ours," the Snow Man explained. "The other being me. Now let's get some sleep." 

"Speaking of which-" 

"It's been taken care of," Al assured as if he knew what she was talking about. 

The exclamation point will be put on this part in _Chapter 27: The Truth is Running Wild_. And that's exactly what it's doing indeed! 

Mattitude is true attitude, and DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!! It's finally done... 


	27. The Truth is Running Wild

**Warside Vengeance**   
**Chapter 27: The Truth is Running Wild**

Monday, May 19th, 2003   
Allstate Arena in Chicago, IL 

1:12 PM: The WWE Superstars had made it off the plane about one hour ago (slower than usual, you know) and are now in the arena. But we don't really have the time to focus on all the Superstars. We now head over and out to the locker room of the H5 Team Extreme in a very cheery mood. This was the second straight PPV monthspan in which they had been greeted by a problem, and last night came the second straight Pay-Per-View event in which a problem was kicked out. It was beginning to become a bad habit, but to them, this was the best bad habit they've ever seen. 

"Well, it just goes to show you what effort can do," Matt said. "But it's not just us." 

"I know," Lita cut in. "We owe The Un-" 

"Cut right there," Matt interrupted. "Excuse me? What you said, it shouldn't even be said right about now." 

"Well, you cut me off, so it wasn't exactly said," Lita countered. They then laughed. "Oh, yeah, we're shunning everyone else off." 

"That time, we didn't have to tell," Shane commented. 

"And that's a good thing," Shannon declared. 

"Hey, are you turning into Page?" Matt asked. 

"Not exactly," Shannon said. 

"Hey, we might as well call it soul chasers day," Matt declared. 

"You turning into Undertaker?" Jeff asked. 

"Come on, man," Matt complained with a laugh. 

"Ah, well, we can joke around today," Marissa said. "After all, this is the immediate day after we took care of those T&A guys." 

"And this is the official debut of the Nightmares of Brimstone," Hurricane commented bursting in. 

"Don't you realize that was a little bit rude?" Shannon asked. 

"What, interrupting?" Hurricane asked. "Come on. It's a little bit of humor." 

"He means barging into that door without the slightest notion of a knock," Taker said from outside. 

"Well, I understand perfectly now," Hurricane countered. 

"Now you do, but you wouldn't have if I said nothing," Taker reshifted the advantage. 

"Ah, well, we're here anyway, so why not join the fun?" Hurricane invited himself and Taker so as to change the subject. 

"I say we be careful because if we try anything silly-" 

"Then, it's game over for the three of you," Shane immediately finished for Kane, who was also outside the door hidden by the wall. 

"We knew that one was coming," Taker said as he revealed himself from the right of the door. Well, the H5 were facing him and that was the other way, so to them, it's from the left. 

"So, why are you guys here?" Matt asked. 

"We came to wish you congratulations," Taker said walking up to the H5. He then shook hands with Matt and, in a surprise twist of fate, set him up for a Tombstone Piledriver, yet only threw him down instead of getting the whole move on him. The hellish fate that was feared at that ionstant did not befall Matt Hardy. 

"What was that all about?!" Lita complained. 

"That was payback for what the man did to you guys," Taker said. "If he wasn't back or if he wanted that to happen, I would have executed the man already." 

"Well, that's exactly why you shouldn't have even done anything!" Shane yelled. 

"What in the name of Michael Jordan is going on here?" Angle immediately cut in from behind. 

"Nothing much," Kane answered for him. "Undertaker here decided to fire some payback at Matt for what he did, except he didn't do it all because the dark job was undone." 

"What do you mean he didn't do it all?" Kurt questioned. 

"Look and see for yourself," Kane said, poking himself from behind the other side of the door. 

Angle immediately got in and saw Matt favoring his back in pain. He then knelt to see if Matt was all right. 

"Hey, kid, are you okay?" Angle asked in concern. Immediately turning to the cold master of the undead, he protested. "What was that all about!? Don't come around telling me it's what he did, because it was already undone." 

"Look at the boy," Taker commanded in the 'look more carefolly, you idiots' tone. "He'll be all right. You can clearly see he only got knocked down. He would have been out with the Tombstone if I didn't know that." 

"But that still doesn't excuse the fact that you tried to hurt the _boy_," Kurt countered. 

"You want a one-on-one because of this?" Taker asked as insurance. 

"Oh, yeah, I do," Kurt confirmed in a confident nod. "Oh, yeah. And if I win, I get a match at Execution for your World Heavyweight Championship. Is it a deal?" 

"Count on it," Taker closed the deal. 

"Now come on, let's go tell Mr. McMahon," Angle decided. 

"I think I've already done that," Benoit answered from nowhere. "Vince once proposed a handicap match with the two of us teaming on Undertaker after I told him what happened, but I said that you'd like to handle it alone. Didn't know about the title shot, though." 

"Well, let's go tell," Kurt said. "Good work, though. (turns to Taker) YOU don't follow me. Understood? I don't want to make this look like I don't hold anything against you, because tonight I do. I don't know about any other night, but tonight, the grudge match is on." 

"We have better things to do anyway," Taker agreed. "Come on, guys. Let's go." 

Kane and Hurricane followed Taker back to their lounge of terror...I mean their locker room. 

3:22 PM: It was around this time in which Noble and Nidia put on their schedule to meet for the last time as a twosome. Where, you ask? Um, let's just say the words 'parking lot' apply here. 

They were now walking along from separate paths in order to meet over there. Thing is, Nidia's path took her past the H5 locker room. She had some things she needed to say to Lita, so she decided on stopping to knock on the door. 

"Come in," Marissa invited. 

She then opened the door and came in. 

"Li, can we talk again?" Nidia asked. 

"Sure," Lita invited. "Matt, come on. This is important." 

"I knew that," Matt replied. Once they got outside the door... 

"It doesn't seem traditional that I would just ask for help like this as if nothing happened, especially when I know it's my fault," Nidia admitted. 

"We know, you don't like any of this and you hate Jamie for forcing you to do something like this," Lita sighed. "But what are you here for?" 

"Thanks a lot," Nidia said honestly. "Now, I can be open to the man. But listen. Vince let me and Jamie meet for the last time and the scheduled time is 3:20 to 3:30. The boss said if we don't start a meet in that time span, we can't do it." 

"Why are you telling us this?" Lita asked. 

"Well, for one thing, I'm letting him know that he's got some information coming from me tonight, and when I come out at the beginning of the show, he'll be hearing from me," Nidia revealed. "This is it for us, and there's nothing he can do about it." 

"Go get 'em, partner," Lita encouraged with a smirk. 

"Do you think this'll work?" Matt asked once Nidia left. 

"Of course it'll work! She knows exactly what Jamie's gonna ask and she has it in the bag," Lita assured. "You getting skeptical or something?" 

"Don't tell me," Matt immediately interrupted. "You women know what you're doing." 

"Precisely." 

"Am I ever about to live off of that?" 

"Not for a while. Anyway, let's head back." 

"You know know, Jeff and Shannon have matches tonight," Matt said. 

"Oh, yeah, against two of the Red Brood," Lita pointed out. "Nice to know we're competing against friends instead of enemies. In fact, that's exactly what we used to be doing. The old rivalries were absolutely great, weren't they?" 

"Hey, Matt!" Jeff called from outside the H5 door...they didn't get far, you know. "The 'man' is on your cell." 

"Get over here!" Matt yelled back. 

Jeff tossed the cellphone over to Matt instead of coming to hand it, and as trusted, the elder Hardy caught it. 

"V1 here. Who's this? (pause) What are you doing here? (pause) Well, that might be arranged. He came in earlier. I don't know what you want with the man, but I might as well What do you need, though? (pause) I think I can arrange that, but I don't like the looks of it. Not tonight. I've got something else to worry about. Maybe Thursday or next week? (pause) Heh. That's you. Anyway, I've gotta go. Bye." 

"Who was that?" Lita asked. Matt stayed silent. 

"Come on!" Lita pleaded. "Why can't you let me in on it?" 

"All right, but be like Austin and **don't trust anybody** about this, okay?" He then whispered it in her ear. 

"I can see why no one's to know who it is," Lita said. "Moment word gets around, they'll think you're up to something against me. Wait a sec. Jeff knows who the so-called 'man' is, right?" 

"Yeah," Matt confirmed. "So what?" 

"I betcha right now, Shannon's trying to get it out of him. Come on, let's go." 

Going inside, they notice nobody trying to at least plead it out of Jeff. 

"THERE'S A FALSE DOCTOR ROBBING THE HOUSE!" Matt joked. Lita laughed hysterically at that statement, but not only because of that statement, but because Shannon actually screamed like a coward. Thing is, he laughed as well. Jeff, Shannon and Marissa looked dull about it at first, then they snickered and began to laugh as well. 

"Shush!" Matt ordered. The laughter was broken into silence. 

Meantime, going into the Team Bring It locker room... 

"What do you have in mind?" Shamrock asked. 

"We'll team our new members against, um...let's see here, Bill DeMott and Big Show," Rock answered. 

9:02 PM, starting RAW: The Mattitude Connection comes onto the screen, immediately followed by Shannon's theme, and he's districuting the Speed Limit of 100 all over the place. The MF Vroom-A-Zoom shirt and the red Speedster pants are on this quick little ex-MFer, and here are our Matt Facts about Shannon Moore. 

SHANNON SAYS   
HE CAN TALK   
TO LITA FOR   
SEVEN DAYS   
AND NOT   
FALL FOR HER. 

and 

SHANNON   
STILL LEARNS   
WATCHING THE   
HARDY BOYZ. 

Christian's theme interrupts and out he comes in the black tanktop and the black long tights with his design. 

The match kicked off as the two shook hands, and then prepared to grapple. However, only Christian went for it and Shannon turned back and snapmared him. Immediately coming up with a sleeper hold on Christian, Shannon is getting half cheered, half booed. The booing half was cheering for Christian. It was only natural that the people would split the deal between these two. After all, they were both young men who could easily entice the ladies. After a moment, though, Christian fought out of it with a few elbows to Shannon's gut. When he broke out, he decided on running to the ropes and returning with a shoulder block. It worked. Shannon was getting up when he tried it again. Sercond time, it worked. The same sequence repeated a third time except that this time, Shannon didn't exactly get hit. Instead, he countered using the drop toe hold. He then tried a few legdrops to the neck of Christian. Shannon then rolled Christian flat on his back and hooked the leg. 1, 2, kickout. Shannon picked up Christian by the head and elbowed him down on his stomach. Going with another few quick leg drops to the back of the neck, Shannon goes for the cover once again. 1, 2, kickout. Shannon soon went to the top rope and did the Mattitude Tarzan Call. I hope Matt gave you permission to do that or something's bound to happen. All right, back to work. He then went for another leg drop from the turnbuckle. Christian rolled outside the ring as Shannon made his jump, so he ended up flat on his backside, which he is now favoring in pain. Now, Christian gets back in, picks Shannon up and hands him a neck breaker. He then goes for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Christian now begins to stomp away on Shannon. That's when he decides to go for other moves. He suplexes Shannon, picks him up, irishwhips him and greets his return with a powerslam. He then hooks Shannon's leg for the cover again. 1, 2, kickout. He then gets Shannon in a Boston Crab, and Shannon looks like he's in a lot of pain. He's desperately trying to make it to the ropes. After about three minutes of stretching pain, he finally manages to hold onto the bottom rope with his right hand, forcing Christian to break up the count. However, while he's hanging onto the rope more and more, Christian is stomping away on him. Christian picks him up using the arms and goes for the Unprettier. The move connects, therefore giving Christian the easy 1, 2, 3 on the cover. Christian is the winner for the second straight night. The thing is, this match was for a Cruiserweight title shot as Lilian announced during Shannon's entrance, so Christian gets a chance to either defeat Rey Mysterio or Lieutenant Loco in order to become a Cruiserweight Champion. Most likely, he's holding the shot for either SuperBrawl or Execution. 

9:33 PM: The Extreme theme goes off as Jeff Hardy comse out in the white shirt and black NC pants. The Break Down the Walls theme interrupts that once Jeff is done with his entrance, and out comes the King of the World with the black long tights with the blue/red/gold flame design. 

Jeff and Jericho shake hands, but the thing is, Jericho immediately kicks him in the midsection and attempts to do the Twist of Fate. Problem is, Jeff Hardy wasn't about to let himself get caught in the maneuver. He instead pushes Jericho away and shoots him in the midsection and tries the move himself. Problem is, Jericho was too smart to get caught in his own trap...even if he stole the trap from his opponent's book. As Jeff signaled for the move, Jericho suplexed him and quickly hooked the leg for the cover. Referee Timmy White, who's back, counted the 1, 2, couldn't be three because Jeff kicked out. Now, Y2J stomped away on Jeff for a while. Next, he picked him up and rounded him into another suplex. He lifts him in sitting down position and now gets him into a sleeper hold, expecting the man to have the air sucked out of him when (and probably if) he gets out. After a while, Jeff manages to get some ground, feeding off the "Hardy" chants in the arena. With a few punches to the gut of Jericho, Jeff manages out. He then runs to the ropes, but his return is greeted with a shoulder block from Jericho. Y2J now comes down and goes for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Jeff ain't willin' to just give in like he's a piece of candy. That's an obvious fact. Anyway, back to work. Jericho picks Jeff up by the back of his hair and begins to go for the Flashback when Jeff immediately spins behind Chris and gets him in the reverse Twist of Fate. He then goes up to the top rope and attempts to go for the Swanton Bomb. Problem is, Jericho rolled out of the way and got up. That incident led to the Walls of Jericho. Problem is, read once against where I said Jeff ain'y willin' to just give in like he's a piece of candy. Anyway, now that that's been clarified, how about I bring an end to this match? Anyway, Jeff makes it to the ropes after doing some hard time in the walls, but has the damage been done? Can Jeff Hardy stand? Thing is, his legs can't take it, and he can't stand if he only depends on physical strength. Thing is, he reaches deep into his soul in order to be able to stand while Jericho gloats around like the arrogant enemy he once was and can be. Anyway, Jeff callsJericho, who runs to attack. Thing is, Jeff blocks the clothesline and issues a right hand to Jericho. He stumbles. Y2J tries again. Jeff blocks, hits and stumbles again. Then, the exact same thing happens for the third time in a row, except Jeff is no longer stumbling. He manages to punch Jericho until he's at the rope. Now, he Irishwhips him and greets his return with a missile dropkick. Now, Jeff tries the Swanton again. This time, it connects. There's one problem, though. Jeff's tired legs won't let him capitalize on the downed Jericho for one full minute. When he finallt crawls over Y2J, White can't get the three because Jericho gets his shoulder up! He gets up quickly before Jeff could ever think of doing so with his dead legs and now goes for the springboard lionsault. It connects, and Jericho gets the cover. 1, 2, Jeff kicks out! Actually, it was only his shoulder which was able to be used in the process, as his legs were dead tired. Now, Jericho decided that there was only one more thing to do. He then got Jeff in the Walls of Jericho for the second time in this match. This time, Mr. 2Xtreme had no choice but to tap out and lose to a Red Brooder as Shannon had done earlier. The H5 and Red Brood members all came out to check on Jeff and Jericho. Y2J was okay: only a bit tired. While Jeff had his legs dead tired from so much action. Jericho and Edge helped Jeff over to the H5 locker room. 

9:48 PM: The H5 was inside checking on Jeff, who was lying in bed. He couldn't stand, so this was all he could do after that match. 

"Don't worry," Shane assured the rest of the team. "The kid'll be okay." 

"Yeah, but we have more to worry about," Matt said. "Like, if Nidia actually shows some integrity. Because I know a specific woman who might want to come back just to be in Team Angle and help teach those who break the rules of integrity a superior lesson." 

"Who could that be?" Shannon asked curiously. 

"Can't tell you," Lita immediately denied doing so. 

10:31 PM: Nidia comes out using the entrance that she and her ex Jamie Noble have used for so long. And as for the Judgment Day info...actually, the Cruiserweight Championship data was at King of the Ring 2002, not JD. I made a mistake, I'll admit it and it's corrected right here. Anyway, off I go. She sports a white flannel tied top and those same short jeans. She takes a mic from Lilian and begins to speak. 

"Now, there are many hidden things that you people don't know yet about this world," she started. "But right now, I will reveal one of these things to you. You see, it's about Jamie Noble. You people think that I don't have a heart and that I don't have any regrets about what I did to Matt and Lita and that I could only have regrets about being in that match against them. Well, the thing is, it's the opposite case scenario. In case you people never knew, at Backlash, after the H5 and their partners beat DX, when Vince said I wanted to talk to Matt, I actually _did_. 4:00 that day, I had the boss tell them. Problem is, I was yelling at Jamie while he was watching some show with some swimsuit models all over, and he said I was going to talk to Matt...through my butt. Now, I still wanted to be around him. But when I looked at him, I saw half my Jamie, half an evil conniving detestable jerk. Oh, and let me say something to you, James. Don't act surprised. You were changing into bad brood and you know it. It was more than pride and chip for chip. It was selfishness. Admit it! You were turning into bad brood! You know it, I know it, now the people know it! There's no denying you attempted to become evil. No disrespect to the Red Brood, but still...you know what I'm talking about. It's about time I got out of there. I just hate being used for a decepticon, and that's precisely what you did to me. I hate you for it, and that won't be changing any time soon. I actually find it good to be around people who haven't just gone demented at any time. And as a matter of fact-" 

The Live for the Moment theme suddenly goes on. No Matt Fact, no connection. No NOTHING! The Live for the Moment theme just goes on, and Version One himself...yes, Matt Hardy, **Version One**, comes out in V1 shirt, purple/gold Matt Pants and a microphone, which tells you he plans to speak. Not really taking much time, he comes out with a smile on his face. 

"For everyone who doesn't know who I am or would just love to hear me introduce myself, I am Matt Hardy, Version One-a! Boyfriend of Lita, unofficial leader of the H5 Team Extreme, and founder of MATTITUDE!" During this little showboat introduction, fans cheered, girls screamed. He earned a little time to think through what he was going to say. After a few moments, he spoke once again. 

"You know, it's been an awesome adventure. That's all I can say about everything that's basically gone on since WrestleMania. It's been an adventure. That's all I can call it. An adventure. That's the only word that fits the bill. Adventure. Okay, okay, okay! I'm getting a little annoying repeating the exact same thing all over again! Look. Let me be serious now. Nidia, after I had to face the reality that it was either Lita or Mattitude, I was a bit selfish myself. I didn't consider the fact that she might have slapped me in the face, which they say obviously wasn't about to happen, although I don't fully believe that statement. All I can say is the possiblities are absolutely endless...their end is that of one's imagination. But then, afterwards, I kind of regretted saying what I said to you and then handling it the way I did. Inside, I was completely broken. That's why I had to leave. But judging from what I heard, you also need to thank The Undertaker. As far as I'm concerned, I would have never been back in the H5 if it weren't for the Dead Man, and as far as you're concerned, you would have never been able to free yourself of the burden of being a part of an evil deed. A reluctant part, but a part indeed. Now I see why according to Shane, you felt worse while he felt better after I was gone. Except you only felt worse because you were angry at him for boasting himself to the high of the sky when as far as we're all concerned, he never deserved it. Well, you might want to listen to this next sentence. This whole case of good vs. evil with me and my fellow H5 Team Extreme members is over! As far as I'm concerned, we're gonna compete for the purpose of winning and moving up in the ranks, and we're gonna support each other through wins and losses. And as far as I'm concerned, I know somebody who's pretty much not liked as usual since not being seen after a while, and we have a specific squad to back us up in case evil problems attempt to show up. Nidia, I commend you. You've done well getting out of this jam. You actually lost on purpose, didn't you?" 

"No, I wanted to keep the fire alive, but now that it's dead, I can say what's on my mind," Nidia detailed. "I thought I already told you that." 

"If you did, I forgot. You probably told Lita, but me? I don't think so," Matt clarified. "Anyway, you're really a good seed. You thought Jamie was one, and that's why you stayed with him. Now you know it's a decepticon and not an honest abe, and you've decided to straighten up. I respect that. And don't ask if I'm just saying this to make you feel better, because I really do trust you." 

"Thanks, Matt," Nidia said, a tear coming over her eye. It was a tear of joy. She was glad Matt trusted her, because any normal man who she pulls into this situation would naturally think something was up. That Matt Hardy was something else. He was not any normal man. He was Version One. Lita had picked up the perfect version. "Your girlfriend should be pleased with herself for picking you. It's just like you to see the good in people." 

The Live for the Moment theme played again, and Matt and Nidia left with smiles on their faces, but they really looked more like friends than a couple...that was absolutely what they were supposed to look like. Friends. That's what Nidia would be with the H5 for a while. 

On other notice, the two newest members of Team Bring It turned out to be Booker T and Rikishi, who defeated DeMott and Show. After that match, McMahon granted Booker and Rikishi a Tag Team Title shot and immediately designated it to be used to meet DeMott and Show for their gold at Execution. Angle had defeated Undertaker, earning a match against him at Execution for the World Heavyweight Championship. "Stone Cold" and "Heartbreak Kid" got a rematch of WrestleMania XIV, the winner getting a match for the WWE Heavyweight Championship against the Big Bill at Execution. One problem got in the way, though, and he goes by the name of Triple H. Thing is, he hit Austin and Michaels, causing the match not to be decided as of yet. Rock got in and attacked the Celebral Assassin, fending him off. Problem is, Eric came in and said he had booked those four to be in the Battle Royal, which was, if I didn't say anything earlier, put in for WWE Execution. 

The declaration has been made and Matt is ready for a round of proper competition and no sense of hatred. Most likely, his teammates would like a little break to conquer the round of dark that had befallen them for the past two months. Matt has freed the path for it. Fans had booed Nidia when she first came out, but from the moment her speech really got to "the point" all the way to the things that Matt had to say, the crowd was giving props to the former Trailer Diva and the Founder of Mattitude. They both deserved it and they both got it. But who in the rock is Matt talking about? Speaking of Rock...V1's teaming with a friend of the Great One this Thursday night! Check out _Chapter 28: The Humilitaker_. 

Mattitude is true attitude, and don't you forget it! Prime Time over and out... 


	28. The Humilitaker

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 28: The Humilitaker**

Remember, the real 2003 can't be here because it's the story year. The last setup year is 2002. That'll explain part of this immediate portion of the chapted being FICTIONAL. 

Thursday, May 22nd, 2003   
Bradly Center in Milwaukee, WI 

1:59 PM: Going deep into the head of a Hardy we IMMEDIATELY head with no stalls. 

_Sometimes, I just hate living. I feel like it absolutely sucks. I mean, what have I ever done to deserve my head being given an extreme test which costs me my girlfriend? What did I ever do to deserve some degenerate manipulative beings going around trying to destroy me and my friends? This isn't right. Every time I think about the past two months, I'm hating these memories. I've been torn away from my girlfriend for being stupid enough to be caught by a butt that never even wanted to be there at that statement. I can tell that girl wished she had cut her butt off while everyone else was asleep. I can tell that as a fact. I mean, I'm Matt Hardy, Version One! What's not to tell after hearing a story?_

_I keep thinking about every day these past few months. Ever since WrestleMania Nineteen came around, my life has been a living hell. If anything, my friends and I are lucky to be alive right now. If they wanted to, all those guys could have just shot us with a pistol. Most of all the guys who are now among DX, the nWo or the T&A X. They could have all decided to just shoot us all. I mean, wouldn't that be much easier? To just die instead of enduring constant endless torture? I mean, I'm not a bad guy. We're being hunted down as though we were evil. I really don't like this at all. Mattitude isn't supposed to be undergoing such a damn unfortunate twist of fate! That's my own line I'm relating to happenings against myself! I can't believe this!_

_I think about it all. Those cold, lonely days with Jamie and Nidia. I was beginning to think that I had an opportunity to make new friends with new interesting things and a new atmosphere. But that hope wasn't high enough to make me forget what I had before that. Oh, how I longed to gaze into her eyes once more...I got that wish almost immediately. In fact, I was able to embrace her. That was the first time I had gotten to show any of the shame and agony I had felt since my brain betrayed me and forced me to betray them all...my brother...my friends...how I so wanted to be back in this very locker room I sit in once more. Problem is, I knew that wasn't about to happen again until I decided to leave with Jeff. That was the miracle of my life. Just the excuse I'd been looking for to get out of there. Out of that depressing corner with that arrogant pig Jamie Noble. If I told Shannon my thoughts, he'd atomatically tell me that I was also an arrogant pig at one time. I believe him. As strange as it may seem, I believe him._

_When Mattitude started, I did think of Jeff and I did think of Lita. Problem is, I didn't think of them enough to realize what I was doing. Jeff and Shannon are best buddies just like me and Shane. In fact, we're among the Peroxwhygen unit, the three of us. Me and my only actual tag team partners working in this company before I bumped into Shane. Look at me again. During the beginning of Mattitude, I had been a jerk. When Shannon decided to become a Mattitude Follower, what did I do to welcome him? I forced him into a match with Brock Lesnar. I yelled at him while he was knocked out with that F5. Compared to Shannon, Brock was a superhero. I actually called Shannon a suitable replacement for me when I knew that him helping me stood much more of a chance than him being the one in the ring. I knew all this stuff. But I didn't care. I knew this would take Mattitude off the right track. I didn't care. Lita thought I was eyeing Trish...okay, so maybe I was, I can't even remember. Some people claim that Mattitude sucks...and it did. I hate to say this about myself, but I really did suck back there at showing the people that I had a heart. I can't remember exactly what the times were, but I used to bully Shannon around every time. I remember that day. I don't know who I was going against, but whoever it was, Shannon tried to help me beat them, but the plan backfired. I actually spoke something that showed I had a heart and hugged the kid for God's sake. That's when later on, I was accompanying him to the ring. He had a match against Bill DeMott. Shannon was't giving in. That's all I cared about. No matter what happened to Shannon, no matter what I did to him, I only cared that he never gave up. I didn't even matter his physical condition. I had no heart, the people say. If I didn't, I wouldn't be alive. But in a sense, they were right. It was like, 'quit and die or continue and suffer' for Shannon. And I didn't care. Anyway, I helped the kid up and showed some compassion. Suddenly, that's when I give him the Twist of Fate. I'm such a jerk...no wonder the MFers are slipping away from me!_

_I remember the coming of the Royal Rumble, 15 men from each roster were to come in. Jeff and I were both among them. I was one of the members of SmackDown. He was among those guys who were coming from RAW. I entered 3rd. Albert and DeMott were in before me. Suddenly, as we were all fighting inside the ring along with some guys from RAW who came out, his theme blares on. I look at him. The girls are all screaming for the man as they still did for me. I get applauded by the audience once in a while, but he gets it all the time. I didn't get it that night. He did. The thing is, now he rushed into the ring. Bill knocked me down from behind. Two people were stomping on me. I suddenly heard it from Cole, who was there with JR. And I was stunned: "Jeff Hardy getting Albert off of his brother!" Oh, my god. I couldn't believe it. Jeff helped me? He's supposed to hate me! I betrayed him! I had gotten stepped on a few times, and I saw it was Jeff and Bill. I know what I mean when I say Jeff's a monkey. But when he saw my spine was crushed, he rolled me under and slid under to tend to me while I was hurt. Soon, there were few people left. I was good enough to go back. We went in. I wasn't going to say a word to him. I didn't want to let on that I was shocked. I was about to knock Rico out when he stopped himself from the return and slid under. I ended up going over the top, but I didn't touch the floor. I slid sideways a bit when I saw Rico knocked out. I looked up behind me...it was bro. Jeff did it. He saw me and helped me up. I was even more shocked that night. My bro kept me from being eliminated. _Unbelievable_! He's supposed to be my enemy, yet he's standing WITH me! He's supposed to beat me up for what I did to him! Kane was there ready to clothesline me out. He pushed me out of the way and got himself eliminated. I was in so much shock and surprise I could no longer ignore it. I was carried up and eliminated by what I later found to be Dave Batista._

_Later that night, Jeff decided to talk to me a moment before the rosters had to split accordingly again. We each had tears coming from our eyes. He had told me that he didn't care what I had done to him. He said that I was his brother and that was all that mattered to him. I was his brother and nothing that had transpired in the past could change that. He didn't even scold me about anything. When Eric called the RAW guys to go, I had cried a little bit. We embraced that day for what I thought would be the last time. Then came my late birthday present of...um, let's say, four or five months? When Vince announces that the Extension is over. Jeff...bro...thank you. Those were the words I wanted to say to him again. I looked for him in the locker room, and he suddenly came up from someplace. I told him what I had realized that night. Before that day, people were saying that I never had a heart and that they were surprised that a jerk like that was ever the boyfriend of a lovely diva. I finally listened to the cries of the people who said I was better the way I was before and that Mattitude was ruining the way I operate. I saw his point. Lita comes to me. I'm ecstatic to see her. I embrace her quickly like crazy for a few seconds. What happened then, I could not believe. I had told her that I'd missed her the whole time we were separated. She said it wasn't that much for that long. I tried to hide it, but it was no use. In a moment, she was going to leave. Suddenly, she kisses me on the cheek! She says that I'm still right for her in spite of all that happened. I betrayed Jeff and treated Shannon like a chumpstained sucker, and she still loved me the same. That was the day I realized the Team Extreme was getting reborn, and that my heart was and would always be opened...by and to those closest to me. Not only was my heart opened, but so was my mind. I was now aware of what I was doing to Shannon - my little MFer and Jeff's best friend in this company - and that it wasn't right at all._

_Then comes when I bumped into Shane and Marissa on that day...it was a SmackDown. Marissa was actually going to wrestle, and along with everyone else, Shane, Jeff, Li and I didn't approve of it. Thing is, she did well, but only because Nidia took her as a joke. When she considered her seriously, Marissa was dead-ended. By the time that weekend ended, Shane and Marissa had become best friends with Lita and myself. I knew things were going to go well in the end._

_The truth is, I was right. Things didn't go well at first. They had seemed like hell for me. But the thing is, I kept my lousy little head up, and here I am. This little thought session proved it all to me. I was a jerk. A bad guy. And it seemed fate offered bad guys to come onto my door and make my life a living hell as soon as I came to my senses. I paid my dues. Having to go through Triple H and Jamie Noble was never a piece of cake. But both guys attacked me with everyone and everything they had. Neither passed because my friends and I were determined. We gave it everything as well, and look at me. Now, things are cleared up for me. The road is no longer cloudy. As I said this past Monday night, I've passed the test. We're all free. Finally free! I guess it's about time this mystery-_

"Why are you just sitting here?" Lita asked. 

"Huh?" Matt stirred, disturbed from his thoughts. 

"What's wrong, Matt?" Lita paraphrased her question. 

"I'm just thinking about everythng," he explained. 

"Come on, spit it out," Lita coaxed. "You're regretting ever looking at Trish and Stacy, right?" 

"No, I'm thinking about how everything came to be this way," Matt corrected. "You see, when I betrayed Jeff due to jealousy - I'll fially admit it - I began to become an arrogant jerk. I didn't realize it, but I was soiling myself." 

"Now, Matt, you know that's not true," Lita tried to lift his spirits. 

"Stop it, Li. Don't feel pitiful for me. I know it's true. When Jeff helped me in the Rumble, he didn't care about that. It was then that I was beginning to come to my senses and be the even truer Matt Hardy, Version One...the me you see today is _absolutely_ me. Of course, I am going to try to help Jeff out on some high-risk moves and times, but I like to play it safe...that everyone knows. But the reason I'm helping him out in that focus is because we're brothers. He's shown me that no matter the differences that have come across, that's all that really matters. I guess it was good that he was the one I went back to Cameron with." 

"You are getting wiser," Lita said. 

"I guess it's good that I've decided to think about it a little bit," Matt admitted. 

"Can I just rest here for a moment?" Lita asked. 

"Oh, you sure can," Matt approved. She then rested her head on his lap: he was sitting down. She had her knees on the ground as he petted her. 

That's right, he thought. I have grown wiser since the Rumble. 

"Hey, Matt," Shane called him. "What do you say to a little warming up now?" 

"No, thanks," Matt declined. "I'll do it later. Meantime, I'm going to just sit here. 

"All right," Shane said. He, Jeff, Shannon and Marissa left for the warmups. 

When they got there, they found Hurricane going against...oh, no. Evan. Evan Karagias. 

They immediately retreated to he H5 locker room to report the news. 

"We just saw Hurricane in that ring with Evan!" Shannon reported bursting in. 

"What!?" Matt yelled. 

"EVAN!" Shannon yelled. 

"Lita, come on!" Matt yelled. 

"Huh?" she asked, stirred from rest. 

Matt immediately got up and picked her up, yelling at her to come on as she was behind the others. 

When they reached the room, Karagias had defeated Hurricane and didn't exactly have a nice stare. 

He spotted Shannon and immediately yelled at him to get into the ring. 

"Don't," Matt immediately recommended. 

"This guy wants a battle, he'll get one," Shannon responded, getting in. As soon as he did, Evan viciously attacked him. The match was vicious. Evan didn't want to warm Shannon up: he wanted to kick him to the curb and make it look as though he had a match that night. After a few stomps, Shannon was almost caught in the STD. He was able to overcome Karagias' furious velocity and win in a lot of time. What made Evan so angry at his former 3-Count partners we don't know. Problem is, Shannon had a little bit of a problem in the back of his neck, due to one of the attacks Evan hit on him. 

When they get back to the H5 locker room... 

"That guy is going to pay!" Shannon declared. "He's gone way out of line!" 

"Rookie mistake right there, Shannon," Matt immediately tried to stop him. "You don't just get so angry that you viciously attack. You can't be so senseless. Sooner or later, this kid might be able to file a restraining order or get Vince to hand you either type of suspension...or fire you, for that damn matter. Besides, you're only a rookie to this company, not to the entire business, now STAY BACK HERE AND SHUT UP!" 

"If he comes after me, then attack him?" Shannon asked. 

"Okay, then you can go ahead, but if things get too dangerous-" 

"I know, get out of there. I've been in this business for a few years, you know," Shannon retaliated. 

"Then act like it and show some brains," Jeff said. Shannon was beginning to get mad, when Jeff tried to soothe the awakening beast. 

"Sorry about the bad comment, but seriously, you don't just go reckless after somebody or let him provoke you nonstop." 

3:53 PM: We have a huge problem on our hands, and it goes by the name of Undertaker. He used his handraise fire ability to set the walls of the H5 locker room on fire. Why he did it, we'll never know. 

"Why are you doing this!?" Lita yelled in demanding panic. 

"Shut up!" Taker ordered. "Let me get on with it. The answer is obvious. The traitor among you is why I'm doing this." 

"But I thought you only wanted to bring him back in! You never said anything about this!" Shane protested. 

"That's to test you," Taker explained. "Unfortunately, you have failed to reject him, and because of that, you will be punished for supporting a committer of treason against the group. So, as of now-" 

"That's enough," Kane said from behind. "Let's take care of thses guys later." 

"Okay," Taker agreed as he lowered his hands to make the fire stop. 

5:21 PM: Hogan was just walking along and he spotted Shannon running and being chased by Matt. He decided to chase after his tag team partner for tonight and figure what's going on. Once Matt and Shannon stopped in the warmup room, Hogan caught up with them and asked what was going on. After hearing Matt's explanation... 

"Evan's back?" he asked. 

"Exactly," Shannon answered. "And he tried to kill me in that warmup match." 

"You need to calm down and stop. Getting into another match and trying to kill him won't do you any good," Hogan immediately objected to any ideas Shannon had of provoking a fight with Evan. 

"I'll take this over to the office," Shannon decided. 

When they got there... 

"What in the blue hell is Evan doing in this place!?" Shannon immediately yelled. 

"SHUT UP! I DON'T ANSWER TO ANYBODY! ACCORDING TO WHAT I KNOW, I AM THE BOSS, AND YOU ARE ONE OF THE WORKERS, AND WORKERS DON'T YELL AT THEIR OWN BOSSES!!!!" Vince screamed. "Get the hell out of here. NOW! One more outburst like that and YOU'RE FIRED!!!" 

"Come on, Shannon," Matt immediately pulled his arm back. Shannon jerked off and ran back to the warmup room, seeing Evan in the ring. 

"Don't you dare try to kill me again!" Shannon yelled, rushing into the ring. They had another go at it. This time, they went all out, relentless, whatever. Matt and Hogan jerked the two out of the ring so as to stop them from getting one another injured. 

"That's it! YOU ARE GOING TO BE SUSPENDED!" Raymond yelled. 

"He already is, and I planned a week," Vince said from behind. "Now, it's more than that. I'm ruling an ARENA suspension against you, Shannon! Get the hell out of here right now! As for you, Evan, come into my office. We need to talk, and I mean RIGHT NOW!" 

When Matt and Shannon got back in and Shannon started packing his bags, Marissa immediately demanded to know what was going on. Shannon wasn't about to tell when Matt suddenly answered. 

"Shannon went after Evan again and got suspended." 

"What kind?" Lita asked. 

"Shannon, this time, you will tell or else I'll take that shirt you're wearing, throw it in the trash and pretend you never were a Mattitude Follower," Matt immediately issued the ultimatum. 

"Arena," Shannon admitted with his head down and no choice. 

"That's terrible," Lita said with a gasp. 

"Absolutely," Matt agreed. "Don't worry, man. You're not out of our heads. We'll call you." 

"Thanks, Matt," Shannon said. With those words, he left that locker room. For how much time, that nobody knew. 

8:42 PM, during SmackDown: Molly Holly's old Snowflake theme popped up with a new similarly matching pyro on the tron. Lita comes out in the poison skull shirt and and the midnight green NC pants with the pink belt. It's hers now! Victoria's theme soon interrupts, the demented woman being accompanied by Show. While the big monster wears an nWo tanktop and black jeans, the psycho wears a black nWo top and black loose pants. 

The WWE Women's Champion immediately runs into the ring and clotheslines Lita. As the more experienced redhead is down, Victoria kneels over and punches her in the head several times. Referee Jack Done (I believe) doesn't let her get away with it without a DQ count. 1, 2, 3, 4, she lets go. She now picks Lita up by the head and immediately hands her a dropkick. Coming up with the cover, she only gets a two count. She now stomps away on Lita, who manages to escape to the outside but Victoria immediately attempts to rush in. While she complains to Done, who gets caught trying to stop her, Big Show actually gets to Lita and rams her onto the guardrail. Show's just gloating about, signaling for the Showstopper Chokeslam. Problem is, now's when Matt gets infuriated. He soon shows up running out in the outfit he's been wearing for a while now and he hits the giant in the back the moment Lita's up and ready to be struck. Now, Matt is basically having no chance. He soon realizes that Big Show's too big. However, he runs. Show chases him with a slow mind. He runs in and out of the ring. Done and Victoria block Big Show. Matt gets a steel chair and hits Show in the head. Ow. That didn't knock him out, though...yet. Suddenly, after about three more hits, the big man is absolutely down. Matt gets onto the apron and goes up the ropes. Then comes the Mattitude Tarzan Call and the leg drop off the top rope landing on Big Show. Now, the match is getting chaotic. Matt and Done can't get Show out that easily, so Jeff comes to help with _his_ same fit and finally, they manage to do it. But, Victoria's standing dementedly, and she kneels over to a downed Lita in the ring. What had happened? Victoria had shoved Lita into the ring, picked up the chair, and hit Li in the head with it. Lita was now out cold. Ask Cole and Madden...they saw it. The Hardyz stay to see why Lita was down when they saw what was going on. Done saw the cover and began the count. However, the Hardyz noticed the steel chair in the ring. They tell Done to look at it and compare its sight to that of Lita being knocked out like that. Problem is, the interrupted referee was lied to by Victoria that they could have set it in there to get Victoria in trouble while she was delivering the Widow's Peak to Lita. He got back to the cover. 1, 2, 3. Victoria picks up the win. The Hardyz go in and complain about what she could have done...which is exactly what she did do. Done tells them he didn't see what happened, and he can't make heads or tails, so why should he even make judgment on it? They now carry Lita back to the H5 locker room. 

9:23 PM: The Lord of Darkness theme goes on, and out come Taker and Hurricane. Hurricane wears the same old green H sleeveless shirt and long Hurritights while Taker sports the torn sleeve button shirt and black loose tights. As those two come out in the unnatural fashion of good and evil, the entrance is suddenly interrupted by the Mattitude.com Connection. The Live for the Moment theme comes up as soon as we're connected, and Matt Facts are as follows. 

MATT HAS   
BEATEN THE   
UNDERTAKER   
2 OUT OF 3   
TIMES. 

and 

MATTHEW IN   
HEBREW   
MEANS   
BRAVEST   
ONE. 

Wearing the purple/gold Matt Pants and V1 shirt and showing a load of Mattitude, Matt soon gets his theme cut by the Voodoo Crush one, and out he comes: the Hulkster himself. Matt's tag team partner is Hulk Hogan! The red and yellow Hulkamania shirt and bandana along with the red and yellow long tights and boots are personiied to completely fit for Hogan's showboating. The legend of Hulkamania is a story admired by many who have seen the man in action, and right now, he's teaming with whom, when it comes to fan girls, is among a team of six in which four are among (if not) the most celebrated young wrestlers in this business. Of course, both teams consist of a young star and a legend. Anyway... 

Matt starts things off with Hurricane. Hurricane goes for a kick to Matt's knee. It's immediately blocked, all four men are cheered for in this match, and Hurricane takes advantage of Matt holding the left boot with an ensuguri. Matt's just clocked down. Hurricane attempts to go for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Now, Hurricane immediately chips Matt off the block with a Shining Wizard. Cover. 1, 2, kickout. Matt's trying to shake the cobwebs from those two kicks. Hurricane picks Matt up and punches him a few times before Irishwhipping him and taking him down with a flying forearm. Now, he tags in Taker. The veteran from Hell Fire and Brimstone comes into the ring, picks Matt up, holds him upside down and rams him into the turnbuckle at his corner. Noticing that, he doesn't let go of Matt at the ram. He keeps the hold, turns around and slams him down. Taker now comes over to Hogan and punches him down, earning a few jeers. Matt's on his knees...no, not begging, you idiots! Anyway, he decides to let the right knee get a break and trips around Taker with the right leg. The Dead Man's down. Matt's got an advantage for the moment. He immediately gets up and hits a few quick leg drops, putting a bit of strain on his legs. Hogan's back. He gets the tag. He goes in. He punches Taker a few times, then irishwhips him. He doesn't go for the boot. He uses a powerslam. Hurricane gets in. Punched down. Taker gets up. Punched down. Hurricane gets up. Punched down. Process continues until Hurricane rolls out of the ring and Taker uses the Small Package rollup to get the count. 1, 2, kickout by Hogan. Now, the two men are in a battle of even and equally powerful punches until Taker decides to use the Chokeslam from Hell on Hogan. Matt's up on the turnbuckle. He calls Taker. The Man of the Dark Side turns around and gets caught by a dropkick from the founder of Mattitude. Hurricane's up on the opposite turnbuckle. Matt gets up. Swinging neckbreaker. Hurricane goes through with his superpose, and now, he does something very uncharacteristic and attempts to do Matt's own brother's turnbuckle finisher, the Swanton Bomb. And you know what happens? Matt sees Jeff and rolls out of the way. He sights that it was really Hurricane, and he's angry at his old friend for reminding him of Jeff in such a disrespectful fashion. Immediately getting up, he picks Hurricane up before his will says so and hands him the Twist of Fate. Undertaker gets up and collects Matt for the Tombstone Piledriver. It connects. Taker turns, knowing Hogan's the legal man and not Matt. However, he turns right into a big boot. Then comes the Hulkamania Leg Drop. 1, 2, kickout. Taker can't get up, though, so Hogan uses another drop of the big leg. 1, 2, Kane's theme comes up and out runs the Big Red Machine with the black shirt and long tights with the orange tapebelts (I call them that) and the new mask. He attacks Hogan with a clothesline. He picks Matt up and gives him a Chokeslam from Hell. He stalks Hogan and hands him the Tombstone as soon as the Hulkster gets up. He now lifts his hands slowly and, at no moment's notice, immediately puts them back down in a snap, causing fire to surround the ring. He gets Taker and Hurricane up, and the three walk out. Suddenly, as they're at the top of the ramp, Taker sights a mic placed on the floor and takes it with these words. 

"Matt Hardy, Hulk Hogan, you have faced the price of hell from the Nightmares of Brimstone!" 

And with these words, he's booed. Yet when the Dudleyz' theme steps up, all four Heads of Dudleyville come out, Stacy standing back a bit. Bubba gets Kane in the Bubba Bomb, D-Von gets Taker in the Saving Grace, and Hurricane gets a Dudley Dog from Spike, who used the mirror wall off the SmackDown design. 

"You want to talk about darkness!?" D-Von yelled, taking Taker's mic. "Well, Undertaker, darkness is evil! And evil is sin! And sin comes with a price. Come on, Bubba! Let's show him what I'm talking about!" They both get to the ring, but look for something under it. Out they bring a wooden table, the Dudley Boyz' trademark item. They set it up at the top of the ramp. Bubba lays Kane off the stage, and Spike does so to Hurricane. Now, Spike picks Taker up and pushes him towards Bubba, whom, along with D-Von, have him scored into a Dudley Death Drop...right through the table. D-Von picks up the mic again. 

"You see, it's like it's been said before. I want nothing more than to testify and send sinners through wood the Dudleyville way!" 

At that whole incident, the fans cheer. The fire was out since this incident began. Matt and Hogan are up. D-Von's about to throw te mic down, and Bubba catches it before it hits the ground. 

"Oh, and Stace, you can embarass that evil dead man," Bubba pointed out. "Come over here, and I'll give you the details." 

He then whispers something in her ear. The Dudleyville miniskirt she's wearing? She takes it off, revealing a cyan thong. What does she do? She sits on Taker's face and rolls it all over! 

The Dudleyz, the fans, Matt, Hogan and everyone else who saw that are absolutely laughing at Taker. The very evil World Heavyweight Champion has been humiliated in front of thousands in attendance and millions and millions watching at home and less than a hundred backstage...now that's a lot. Except the thousands and hundred add to the millions. Suddenly, Matt comes down and gets another mic from Chimel. 

"Hey, Stacy!" he calls. "I know this is hilarious, but you can stop now! I need to introduce someone back to the WWE, and the first thing this person will do is finish the job. I know I'm making introductions for someone who's gonna be on a team other than mine, but still, who cares? Although I'm in the H5 Team Extreme, it doesn't mean it's not right for me to introduce to the world the newest member of Team Angle. And, welcome back none other than...SUNNY!" 

Whatever entrance theme she had then, I don't know it, and it's now gone, because she's taken a special interest in the Introduction Highway theme music from Mega Man X...I'll call it the MMX Highway theme to make things short. Sporting a top and short tights of the American Flag colors, she rolls up her tights and, just like Matt says, finishes the job! Undertaker has been humiliated by two Divas on the same night! The first being a valet for the guys who knocked him out before she did the job, and the second being introduced back as the only woman on the team whose major captain is his World Title-seeking opponent at Execution in exactly 31 days! 

On other notes, Cena is no longer the most recent Intercontinental Champion, because Scott Hall lost his WWE IC title to Tommy Dreamer, who didn't have to fend off interference: Mike Sparxx ejected Raven and had Chimel announce everyone was banned from ringside for this match before it even got underway. After a hard match, Dreamer had finally gotten the Death Valley Driver and covered Hall, 1, 2, 3 in order to take the title. 

10:39 PM, after SmackDown: The incredible happenings of Sunny returning and finishing Stacy's job of embarassing The Undertaker is something that Matt got to laugh about along with the rest of the H5. That moment's over...except for the fact that wherever he walks, he's getting snickered at, and none of the Nightmares of Brimstone even know why. Speaking of the H5... 

"That was really funny," Matt commented on the matter. 

"Yeah, and wait'll Taker finds out what happened to him at the hands - or should I say buttocks - of Sunny and Stacy. He'll be a raving lunatic!" 

"That's the bad part," Lita warned. "And he'll hate you for life, Matt." 

"Why?" Matt asked. 

"You're the one who introduced Sunny back in the first place." 

"Who said that?" Lita asked. She saw Nidia outside the door. 

"Hey, guys," she greeted. 

"Hi, Nidia," Jeff helloed back. 

"How are things?" Marissa asked. 

"I'm just fine, thank you," Nidia said. "Sorry if that sounded any rude, but seriously. Thanks for asking." 

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Lita asked. "I mean, Jamie did hit you pretty hard back there." 

"I know, but you automatically know what I mean when I say I've been through harsher," Nidia answered. 

"I know exactly what you mean," Lita dully answered with a sten look at Matt. 

"What did I do?" he complained. 

"Never mind," she sighed. "Anyway, how are things with the Trax?" 

"Fairly well," Nidia responded. "In fact, Maven's really been a kind friend to me." 

"The tone of your voice tells me there's more," Lita judged. 

"What are you talking about?" Nidia demanded knowledge. 

"You already know," Lita told her. "Besides, whether or not I'm right, I'm not going to ask. I would be rude to intrude." 

"Well, it's been nice talking, but I have to go. Al and the others might get a little worried, and I don't want that to happen." 

"I swear, Matt, you can get yourself killed when Taker gets the video!" Edge says from outside, excusing Nidia on her exit path. 

I can't disagree with that one, Edge. But let's see what happens in _Chapter 29: Rurouni Kayashi Taikusho_. Confusing title, eh? Well, maybe if you people wait for next chapter, I can give you an explanation. 

Until then, Mattitude is true attitude, and don't you people forget it anytime soon! 


	29. Rurouni Kayashi Haikusho

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 29: Rurouni Kayashi Taikusho**

Monday, May 26, 2003   
Resch Center in Green Bay, WI 

9:46 AM: Shane gets up, the others are asleep. All except for...Matt? Where the heck did he go off to? Now, he's on an immediate search. He finds the Red Brood locker room, and he asks for Matt. Edge and the other blond Canadians shrug or shake their heads, saying they haven't seen him or they don't know where he is. He now checks the Tough Trax locker room: he could be checking on Nidia's progress on the team. Their reactions to him asking: haven't seen him, I don't know. Now, he goes into the Dudleyz' room: could be talking to them about Undertaker. They haven't seen him yet either. Goes to the Team Angle locker room to see if Sunny's okay and because he thinks Matt could be doing the same thing. Ah-ah! 

When he gets back to the H5 locker room, he's not in a good mood. He's walking back and forth, thinking. He decides to sit on the bench, and what does he find? He's stepping on a sheet of paper. It reads as follows: 

Meet me in our   
room. We have a   
few things to discuss. 

..........-The Undertaker 

"GUYS, WAKE UP!!!!!" he immediately yells standing up. 

Jeff, Lita and Marissa immediately awoke. 

"What's wrong?" Marissa asked. 

"Shut up!" Shane ordered. "We've got to go to the Brimstone room, and right now!" 

"I really need to know--oh, no. If it's what I think it is, then..." 

Far down the hall, Matt came out of a door with a black eye and as though he was shoved out, as he carelessly bumped into a wall. He was in a lot of pain, clue told when the H5 showed up and he had his hands on an itching forehead. They immediately rushed to him in demands to know what was going on. 

"It was just as Edge said," Matt explained. "Can you get me to bed? I need some rest." 

"The Nightmares of Brimstone saw the tape and attacked?" Shane assumed. 

"Yeah," Matt confirmed. 

"I knew it!" Edge exclaimed out of nowhere. "I'm such a genius! I guessed it right!" 

"Edge, this is no time for jokes," Lita scolded with a frown. 

"Sorry about that, I guess I got caught in the heat of the moment," Edge admitted. 

"Exactly, now shut it up," Shane said. "We need to get this kid to bed." 

"Pronto," Edge added. 

"Exactly," Shane approved. 

"Hey, hasn't Taker already fixed everything about getting Matt out of the H5?" Jeff asked. "So why is he still attacking us?" 

"We are the H5, you idiot," Shane corrected. "He got Matt out of the Mattitrails." 

"Oh, yeah," Jeff remembered correctly. They all laughed over that one. 

"Hey, you picking on me about-" 

"Sunny?" Marissa interrupted Taker, who had opened their door. "No." 

"If I find you just lied, I'll take you on, woman," Taker said. 

"Vince would never constitute it," Marissa and Shane countered simultaneously. 

"Well, I could...forget it. I'm wasting my time!" With that, Taker closed the door. 

"And we're wasting our time trying to fight again," Matt said. "Oww!" 

"He's right, we're finally free, quote last week," Lita agreed. "Now come on. Let's get this rough one to bed." 

Matt smiled as if to say he'd laugh were it not for his head. They then decided to bring him in. 

3:19 PM: Matt was sitting down on the H5 locker room bench, and Lita was next to him. His head no longer hurt from the push, and his eye area was gaining its normal color back. He was okay...all he needed now was his eye to show it. 

"Hey, Matt, are you all right?" Lita asked. 

"Well, I'm just thinking about stuff," Matt said. "What I said this morning about it being useless to fight now-" 

"Don't talk," Lita cut him off. "I see your point. There is no point in trying to fight the Nightmares of Brimstone. After all, we're free. We've already experienced a living hell. Why let ourselves go into a living hell of fire and Brimstone?" 

"Exactly," Matt said. "We only compete to compete now. We're not supposed to hate people...even if they hate us. I mean, Triple H and Noble couldn't work their evil plans. Why should we give anybody else a chance?" 

"Hey, I just worked a deal with the Kaientai," Jeff said. "They say they need us for a surprise. We've got to go over there." 

"Well, we might as well," Matt said with a sigh. He and Lita got up after a quick kiss. Shane and Marissa decded to follow. 

Meantime, Vince McMahon was satisfied. A contract was just signed by someone. Another old Superstar is coming to WWE. Whoever could it be? That question's only path to an answer: stick around and watch the show in order to find out. You can't even get it asking Vince...I think. 

Few minutes later, The H5 was walking along in a very confident mood. Everything was going so well. Their surprise for the Kaientai was going to be a grand special...at least for any Japanese fans that would be in attendance at Resch tonight. Once they got into their locker room... 

"Want to hear another Perumbo tale? It's been so long since I've told one," Lita said. 

"Nooo, thank you," Matt declined. 

"Hey, chicken!" Jeff joked. "Make sure you eat your bird seed while you're clucking." 

That one earned a laugh. 

"Hey, don't start talking about me," Matt warned. That broke the laughter into silence. 

"Ah, what the heck? We're free, right? Knock yourself out!" he changed his mind. 

"O-kay!" Jeff exclaimed. 

"Hey, guys," Edge came in. "If you were holding a party, why not tell me about it?" 

"Ah, we're just feeling a little free right now," Shane explained. 

"I see," Edge responded with a bit of hesitation. 

"So, why'd you come in?" Marissa asked. 

"Need to talk for a moment," Edge said. "Matt, Li, come with me." 

He led them a bit across the hall outside the rooms, where Jericho stood with a steel chair in hand from afront, prepared to hit Matt and Lita. As they began to retreat, he dropped the chair and laughed himself down to the ground. 

_They fell for that one?_ Edge thought to himself. _What idiots. I thought they were smarter than that._

He then went over into the locker room, telling them to come on. When they got there again, they saw Chris laughing his head off. 

"Was that a joke to him, scaring us off like that?" Matt asked. 

"What, are you guys dumb? Of course it was a joke! And take out that 'to him' while you're at it." Edge answered. 

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Chris kept on laughing like crazy. 

"Hey. Chris! You can stop laughing now!" Matt called. 

That he did, and he was finally able to stand. 

"Now that we're here, let's get on with it," Edge said. 

"Yeah, right," Chris chuckled a bit. Once getting serious, he continued. "Well, Matt, you remember correctly that the day you betrayed the H5 to go to the Mattitrails, Edge wanted to talk to you about Trish Stratus. He's been waiting for the shot at it for some time, now." 

"Thanks, Chris, now let me take it from here," Edge cut. "You see, just one small memory of the day she joined the Red Brood, it's obvious she loves me so much she can't even say it, right?" 

"Well, of course," Lita said. "I've tried to talk to her about you a few times, but...she still hasn't said it herself, has she?" 

"She won't be satisfied until she does, you know," Matt added. 

"Well, no," Edge repled. "She hasn't. But that's only half the issue." 

"Huh?" Matt and Lita are confused. 

"The other half is that Ed-" 

"Shut up!" Edge cuts Jericho off. "I said let me take it from here, you wild liver. Anyway, as I was saying, the other half of the matter is that I have feelings for Trish, but I don't tell her because I don't want her to go crazy or change the way she is. Besides, I don't like getting all sentimental all over the place. It just doesn't look like me." 

"Hey, you're just as afraid as she is," Lita objects to part of what he said. 

"And, getting all sentimental isn't really an issue," Matt said. "The audience all over knows it. You're cool, she's hot, so what if you go lovey dovey?" 

"That's exactly it!" Edge yelled. 

"Look, you can tell her that, but please...try to express feeling in your words yet be you at the same time," Matt advised. "Don't start growing desperate eyes and crying all over. That won't work." 

"Thanks, man," Edge said. "You always give good advice." 

"Well, come on," Jericho coaxed. "Let's follow that advice." 

"Are you that thirsty to see this happen?" Edge asked. 

"I don't know," Chris answered. "Am I?" 

"Come on, man," Edge sighed. "Let's go." The two Red Brooders walked up and were leaving. 

"Hey, Edge!" Matt interrupted their departure. 

"What!?" Edge called back. 

"Good luck tonight!" Matt yelled. 

"Thanks!" Edge replied. 

"I'm the king of the world!" Jericho exclaimed. 

Matt and Lita laughed for about three seconds while Jericho and Edge left. 

9:23 PM, during RAW: Noble's theme pops up and he comes out with the Spearsword blue long tights. Once he's done with his ordinary entrance, out comes X-Pac to his theme (not the X-Factor, that got borrowed by Hall) and DX semi-short tights. Suddenly, as Shane comes down to The Anthem and his white short-sleeve shirt with the Shane-O-Mac in light gray inside a black outline along with a pair of black pants, he also carries a microphone. Stopping halfway down the ramp, he speaks. 

"Noble, X-Pac, I bet you're wondering who my tag team partner is tonight. Well, let me introduce to you someone who is the newest member of the Kaientai, the only Japanese group in WWE. He is a former Jung Dragon, and he's worked on a new finishing move called the Tornado Suplex. Ladies and gentlemen...KAZ HAYASHI!" 

Taka's theme, which I have named Taka Village due to its good sound which can fit it with any Japanese village, comes up, and out Michinoku comes as company to Hayashi indeed. Sporting those Japanese black/blue long tights and an EVIL shirt, Taka accompanies Hayashi, who wears a pair of long tights with black on one side and dark blue on the other. 

Shane and Hayashi talk about strategy once the theme comes off. Now, Noble immediately attacked Hayashi from behind with aclothesline into the corner. Shane watched Noble stomp the now downed Kaz for only a second before interrupting. The old enemies were now standing face to face. Shane then made a gesture saying this was pathetic and clotheslined Noble down. He then got him into a sleeper hold. Noble fought out of it after a moment, countering it with a snapmare and getting the cover on Shane. 1, 2, kickout. Noble then kept stomping him, picked him up, gave him a scoop slam, covered him to get a two count, picked him up again, Irishwhipped him, tripped him on a drop toe hold and now got a Boston Crab on him. Now, Shane was only thinking about getting out of it. However, that happened for him. Noble took his feet off the ground and left the submission a little bit to make sure Shane's arms would have to be pushed in order for Noble's legs to move. Before Shane escaped this maneuver, however, Noble immediately decided to use his feet in order to slingshoot Shane out of the ring. Not waiting for Shane to get up after that, Noble shot up over the top rope and fell right onto Shane's back. That took a lot of wind out of both men, but Noble got up first from taking less damage. Now, if Shane could get up, get in and tag Hayashi before Noble tagged in X-Pac, chances of victory were going to be high for them. Noble crawled over to his and X-Pac's apron corner and tagged in the degenerate. X-Pac now chased down Hayashi in order to get a cheap shot, but Kaz knew it and decided to drop himself and pull the top rope down a little bit, causing X-Pac to go right over the rope onto the outside. Shane got back up, stomped on X-Pac a little bit, then placed him back into the ring. Then, he slid in, X-Pac got up, and Shane connected on a few punches to X-Pac before Irishwhipping him into a flyng forearm smash. He got the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Shane tagged in Hayashi, who flew in from the top rope on a cross body takedown. It worked. 1, 2, kickout. Noble got in to attack Kaz again, but I suggest you run away from him rather than rush to attack, because that only got Jamie a powerbomb. Shane went down, slid in a bit and pulled Noble to the outside, where he'd keep an eye on him. Hayashi sat X-Pac on the top rope, walked up onto it and operated a Tornado DDT...except its true end was that of a suplex. This must have been the Tornado Suplex Shane was talking about! Hayashi got the cover on X-Pac, and Mike Chioda worked it perfectly. 1, 2, 3! 

The Taka Village theme went up again, and Taka came up. He, Chioda, Shane and Hayashi had their hands raised as Kaz's first match back in WWE was an absolute success. 

9:52 PM: The Live for the Moment theme came up, and out came three Matt Facts for the Hardyz' as they would now compete in a match against Edge and Christian. 

The Matt Facts are as follows: 

MATT DREAMS   
OF BEING   
ON GELATO   
BEACH WITH   
LITA. 

JEFF   
DISLIKES   
MATTITUDE   
A BIT. 

and 

EDGE SAYS   
MATT   
GIVES   
GOOD   
ADVICE. 

Matt wore the Phoenix design shirt and greenish NC pants, giving the newest outfit of Mattitude a break, while Jeff wore a white sleeveless shirt and the black NC pants. Edge's Never Gonna Stop theme soon followed, and out came Edge and Christian. Christian wore the red tanktop and red long tights with his design in silver. Edge wore the same old blue Edgehead long tights. They were accompanied by Trish, who wore a white short-sleeved shirt and jeans. 

Now, Matt tipped things off with Christian. The two shook hands, Matt with a lot of satisfaction about competing against friends again rather than living in hatred. First thing that happened, though, Christian decided to try his hand at a grapple, but only got a hip toss from Matt. He immediately retreated to his corner, tagging in Edge. As he walked in, there was a lot of anticipation. They all wanted to see Matt and Edge fight it out again in the spirit of competition: it had been so long. Then, the two hugged for a second or two. Once that broke, Matt told Edge to "give this one everything you've got, pal." At that point, Matt's agenda was a shot to the midsection and a Twist of Fate. However, Edge pushed away as anyone would do when they can get away from the move that would be described as a super neckbreaker. Matt didn't return from the ropes, however. He held on not to go, and therefore, Edge couldn't get to Spear him. Least not immediately, because Matt looked like a standing duck. Thing is, he actually moved away, causing Edge to go right through the middle and top rope. Although barely, his head did hit the guardrail. Trish immediately rushed to Edge's aide, thinking it could be a concussion...or worse. Matt was about to go down and attack Edge some more, but he stopped right there. Jeff asked what was stopping him, and he pointed to the scene of the two Brooders. It touched Matt because it reminded him of himself and Lita, along with Shane and Marissa. Matt decided he would help Trish check on Edge for a moment. Thing is, Edge actually told Trish to get away and for Matt to get him back into the ring. They both did as said, and Matt slid in and went on the attack again. Matt picked Edge up, ran to the ropes and returned with a front dropkick to the knee of Edge, driving the young Canadian down flat on his stomach. Matt now rolled him over and got the cover. 1, 2, Edge kicked out. Matt was still on the upper hand of this match. He picks Edge up and gets him in a scoop slam. Now, Matt gets in a few quick leg drops. Goes for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. All fou men were being cheered for here in this match, although some methods of action may be booed or awed. Goodness, these people are so good at appreciation. Anyway, Matt decides to tag in Jeff, who leaps into the ring like a little monkey. Edge is on his knees trying to recover. Jeff gives him a front dropkick to the side of the head and goes for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Trish is now in absolute worry. She gets up to the ring, calls Brian Hebner - who officiated this match, I might add - to her and begins to seduce him. At that point, Christian comes in to ambush Jeff, seeing as how the referee's distracted. When he thinks about it, however, he decides not to go through with it. Instead, Christian came down, walked over to where Trish was, called her down and told her that Edge would appreciate her care, but he would not appreciate these methods. Jeff is caught off by that, surprised that Christian would actually condone fair order and Trish would try to cheat. Edge is getting up. Fans start to cheer. Christian's going back. Jeff has another suspicion Edge could be getting up, so he turns back and decides to attempt to punch him back down. Edge, who indeed is up on knees, blocks it and goes off with a few right hands of his own. He stands up and Irishwhips Jeff, runs to the opposite side, and goes off with a Spear on the crash course! Jeff's down. Edge is down. Edge, however, has momentum to count on, so he can get to his corner and tag in Christian, who immediately stops Jeff from tagging Matt in by picking him up, Irishwhipping him and giving him the kitchen sink. Christian now sets Jeff up for the Unprettier. It connects. However, when Christian goes for the cover, it's basically like this: 1, 2, Matt interrupts with a leg drop to Christian's neck. Edge gets in and spears him. Jeff goes down to Trish and talks to her for a bit. We believe it's to buy time, but neither Edge nor Christian notices until Jeff and Trish slap hands at a laughing point in the conversation. They both go down to attack Jeff. I guess Trish thought that one would buy time the other way, but going back to action, Jeff runs away before Trish can hold him back. Jeff runs into the ring, and Christian leads a following assault right into a baseball slide from Matt. Both of the Canadian best friends are knocked into the guardrail. Suddenly, out came Sunny without a theme. None of the competitors seemed to care, but Trish was suspiciously keeping an eye on her. However, Sunny walked over to Trish in a white shortsleeve vest and pale blue bra and skirt, catching her off guard a little bit. Sunny talked to Trish a bit, then both women walked off and left at the top of the ramp. Edge and Christian get up from the assault, but using the Poetry in Motion technique with his older brother, Jeff gives Christian a great big wallop of a dropkick which sends him over the guardrail. Edge shoves Jeff into the ring, then slides in himself. He now Irishwhips Jeff and attempts to use the technique of the Spear once more, but the thing is, he gets cut off with a Twist of Fate from Matt! Now, Matt gets the cover on him. Hebner recalls Jeff and Christian being the legal men. Matt told Jeff to go get Christian. Matt decided to throw Edge out and go to his apron corner. Jeff went to the other side of the rail to get Christian back to the ring. Once he got both himself and Chritian to the inner side, he placed Christian in, got up to the apron, went up on the top rope post and fired the world famous Swanton Bomb! At that point, Jeff looked like he was going to get the win. 1, 2, 3. Problem is, the three didn't get down because Edge got up there and broke the count just in time. He stomped away on Jeff, unaware of the dropkick that was indeed coming his way from Matt, who was on the turnbuckle. He got hit on the side of the head and ended up needing to roll out. Jeff and Christian were both up now. They were punching away at each other with the right hands when Christian got one in which knocked Jeff down. Christian now got up to the top rope post and fired off a body splash. He then went picked Jeff up and set him in for that Facebuster Powerbomb he used to do. However, right after he got the move on him, Matt turned him around for a Twist of Fate! He then rolled Christian to be flat on his back and placed Jeff on top of Christian. Hebner counted it. 1, 2, Jeff's dead tired body was pulled off of Christian by Edge, who tried to spear Matt, who moved away and let Edge's shoulder make love with the turnbuckle. Matt was about to place Jeff's body right back on Christian, but Hebner wasn't about to let him. Matt did the right thing and immediately backed off to the apron. Jeff crawled over to go on top of Christian. Hebner counted it. 1, 2, Christian turned it into a small package for a cover of his own! 1, 2, 3! 

That was an awesome match, but finally someone came away with the victory. The former 10-time Tag Team Champions Edge and Christian are winners! Lita came over with the poison skull top and greenish NC pants, and all three women checked on the winners. Matt and Christian were okay. Jeff and Edge needed help. However, all of them were quite tired. Matt and Lita got Jeff up, and Trish and Christian helped Edge up. Sunny just kept an eye on the whole situation, making sure Matt and Christian didn't collapse on Jeff and Edge...and making sure Lita and Trish stood the press of the men. 

The four heroes of the night were those guys, although they didn't main-event the show. Those guys could use a rematch at SuperBrawl or Execution. 

11:41 PM, after RAW: The Hardyz were in no condition to get up after the long tire of a match. Well, Mat was in little condition to do so, but Jeff was in none. Lita kneeled over in between their beds. 

"You guys okay?" she asked. 

"Yeah, we just need some sleep," Jeff said. 

"Well, Kaz said you guys put up a great match," Lita reported. 

"I had a feeling that would come from somebody," Matt said. 

"I know!" Lita complained. "I'm just telling you it happened." 

"Okay, so what's your point here?" Jeff asked. 

"If I...(sigh) forget it," Lita said, shaking her head. 

"Hey, Fireshell," Shane said, using Jeff's nickname for her. "Mind talking to Shannon? He needs to say something to you." 

Check out _Chapter 30: The Big Twenty_. You'll find that one out. 


	30. The Big Twenty

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 30: The Big Twenty**

Oh, damn it!!! I forgot to take out some of Shannon's lines or give them to someone else in the last chapter! He's damn suspended!!!!! 

Oh, well. Better get it taken care of. 

But before that, I might as well tell that the champions, groups and other extraneous data will be dealt with in the next chapter. 

Thursday, May 29th, 2003   
Target Center in Minneapolis, MN 

10:51 AM: Vince McMahon has gathered everyone in the warmup room. He also has a podium there, meaning he's ready to speak. All four men in the amazing tag match of last chapter are okay as it currently stands. 

"Well, all right, everyone," Vince started. "It's been about four months since I've ended the brand extension split and the WWE has begun to shape into what it is today. However, I have a slight problem. You see, my friends, the WWE arena structures have been losing space availability due to the fact that there are 88 Superstars and Divas plus a few others in the arena every time we hold a WWE event. Plus, some of the people aren't really living up to expectations as desired. So, I'll have to make a few tough, but firm decisions here. Some people will go, some will be warned, and most know they're still here. American Dragon, let me start with you. You look like you have a promising career ahead of you. But I have to say this: we don't really know what to do with you here. So, Shawn, I'm sorry, but your kid is cut. Dragon, come up here and get your notice of termination. Then, leave this arena on the getaway cars and look to wrestle elsewhere until you get better." 

Dragon does exactly that, and Vince continues. 

"Now, I have to go to Scotty Too Hotty. Once again, we have no idea what to do with you, either. Sorry, Kish, but your old pal is out of here. Scotty Too Hotty, your position is also terminated. Please come up and receive your notice and leave at once." 

Scotty does so as well, but before he leaves through the back door of the arena, he gives the Superstars the entertainment of one last Electric Worm. Some of them laugh, but most don't for reasons only they know and you can guess. 

"Now, William Regal. I understand you and Lance Storm make for good tag team partners and all, but I haven't really seen much shine out of you, Regal. Lance, you have to let your partner go. Regal, your services are no longer required. Receive your notice and leave." 

William also does so, but not before handing Bischoff a hit with the brass knuckles. 

"Get the hell out of here!" Vince orders. 

"Hardcore Holly, you got yourself cleared to wrestle early, and your neck didn't seem to be a problem. I was actually impressed. However, now when I look at you, I see a man who uses cleared excuses in order not to do his job. You're always going around, saying, 'Sorry, Vince, but I can't do it. My neck hurts.' What happened to the tough guy I saw in you before!? Are you beginning to turn into a coward on us right now? Hey, hey, hey, hey! Stay in your seat! I haven't called you up yet! You were originally on warning, but now that you rudely attempted to interrupt me, YOU'RE FIRED!!! Wait for me to give you your notice in the office, I have them ready when I have someone warned, and when you get it, you can get the hell out of this building! Now go to the office and wait!" 

"Ahem," Stephanie interrupted. "I think you're going mad a little bit, Dad. I might as well continue from here." 

"Go ahead, Steph," Vince agreed, sitting down on his chair in the center as Stephanie took her stand on the podium. 

"I'll take care of the notice," Linda said. "After all, I'm not saying anything." 

"Okay," Vince approved. Linda left. 

"Okay, so now let me get to the people on warning here," Steph continued for her father. "Justin Credible. You have shown great talent and usefulness, but the surprise you promised us at Backlash about what would happen after and if DX lost. You didn't even do squat. And for that, you are on warning. Let me continue with Steven Richards. Ever since you broke up with Victoria, your presence here has been useless. And that won't constitute for anybody who is in this business. So, we've devised a challenge for you two to keep your jobs. If you can select and defeat any two members of the Kaientai tonight in a tag team match, then you can keep your jobs. Can't do that, go home. Marissa McMahon, my sister-in-law, the wife of my brother Shane McMahon. I have a problem. You haven't even appeared since Backlash. If the people are going to forget about you, if you're only going to be a behind the scenes supporter, you might as well go back to home cooking. I better see you out there sometime soon or you can kiss your membership to the H5 Team Extreme goodbye. Johnny Stamboli, Goldust and Billy Gunn. Tonight, you three will be pitted in a Triple Threat Match. It says simply like this: the winner stays, the others go home. Why? Lack of performance. Simply put. That's all we needed to get to-" 

"No, no, no, no, no, wait a second," Eric interrupted, telling her and the others there's still more. "We're not done yet. Here, let me step up to the plate." He then went up and Steph took her seat. "Tonight, I will name the 20 competitors in the Execution Battle Royal in alphabetical order. That is all we needed to get to. See you guys later, you can go off and do your own business." 

When the H5 reach their locker room... 

"I see her point," Shane said. "I mean, you're being afr-" 

"I can't be enslaved like this! I enjoy going on the road with everybody else!" Marissa complained. 

"Can I help you?" Matt asked. 

"Yes, by te-" 

"No, I mean, can I help you get through this? I mean, I know we're going to be given a match if she's warning us about this," Matt cleared it up for her. 

"I know that!" Marissa complained. "We always get matches! I think." 

"Marissa, stop whining!" Shane yelled. 

"I'm not a baby!" Marissa retaliated. The infuriated woman is still at her seat despite all this, showing amazing control. Shane kneels to her and uses his hands to fix her head to him. 

"Listen," Shane started. "You know, you're in this company for us and for the people. And if you're not going to show up in front of the people and give us assistance from ringside, then that leaves the office every reason to fire you. But you know best that I wouldn't like to see that happen. So, basically, you're going to have to do more for this team. After all, if we remember correctly, you're just unable to wrestle, but you're ceasing to do everything else. You need to show up and help us at ringside, okay? That's the only way to stay." 

"I see," Marissa responded. 

"First Matt and Lita, then Trish and Edge, now you guys," Jeff complains. "Who's next?" 

"Excuse me, we've been longer than Matt and Lita, let alone Jeff and Trish," Shane iimmediately took offense to Jeff's comment. 

"McMahon's order of business for tonight: the Hardyz and Shane vs. Bill Goldberg and Brock Lesnar," Angle announced from outside the door. 

"Who's that?" Shane asked. 

"It's Kurt, man," Matt answered. "Come on in." 

Kurt opens the door and enters. 

"I just felt like telling you guys that outside the door," he explained. 

"Don't even mind!" Matt yelled with a laugh. 

"So, from what I understand, it's me, Matt and Jeff against Golberg and Lesnar?" Shane asked as insurance. 

"Yes," Kurt clarified. "Oh, and Brock told me to give you a message: here comes the pain." With that came the departure of the Olympian. 

3:52 PM: The H5 decided to pay a few visits to a few friends. First, they head off for the Red Brood locker room. Once they find the door with its label, Shane knocks on the door. 

"Come on in," a familiar cool voice invites. 

Shane opens up. 

"Hey, it's the H-fired Team Marissa," Jericho mocked. Marissa then chased after him in total frustration. She tackled him and attempted to choke him down. Unfortunately for her, he easily knocked her off, and Shane held her back. 

"This is not what I meant, Marissa! Calm down already!" Shane yelled. "Can't you see this is getting you fired!? The man was just playing around, having a little fun the way you know he always does, and now look what happens! You come around and chase the man around his own team's locker room and make a mess! Besides, this locker room is more like a nice little resort room, if you ask me! Why mess something this good up!?" 

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down! Can't you see the girl's crying, stupid!?" Matt yelled. Shane came the other way, attempting to look at her face. He saw nothing, as she quickly turned away. 

"Marissa, just look at me," Shane said. 

She wouldn't. 

"Hey, idiot! If Shannon hears about this, he'll definitely get mad at you! You don't just come up and yell at the girl for making one stupid mistake! Goll-lee!" Jeff scolded him. "Come on, Marissa. I'll get you back to the room." 

That he did. Meanwhile, Shane was surrounded by the Red Brood. 

"Um...guys? Help me out here?" Shane asked. 

"Pay the price for your wife," Matt said nonchalantly before leaving with the rest of the group. 

"WAIT!!! WHAT ABOUT OUR MATCH!?!?" Shane tried to sway Matt's mind. That was a success, because he came back and told the guys not to hit him and to let him leave. However, that didn't mean he wasn't going to do something about Shane's yelling at Marissa. 

"Listen here," Matt warned. "If you don't manage to get Marissa to forgive you, I'll give you a Twist of Fate after the match. Undertstand!?" 

"Yeah, whatever," Shane shrugged it off. 

"I'm serious, man! Think I'm kidding? Try me." 

"Damn," Shane muttered. "Now, my friend's a rico again." 

"I heard that," Matt cut him off at the pass. "And I'm not a rico. If you don't apologze to your wife, however, _you are_ a rico." 

6:12 PM: Shane has been trying this whole time to get Marissa out of her little anger tear haze. Problem is, although she has stopped crying no matter all the words he used, none were the right ones she was looking for. Now, as the turning point in everything is about to begin, she's sitting on a chair inside the H5 locker room. He just told the rest of them to go off and take predictions in their own camp as to wether or not everything will go better. Outside, they thought about it. The three originators of the entire concept of Team Extreme. 

"Chances are, she files divorce," Jeff said, getting a frown from the other two. 

"Do you even know what you're talking about?" Matt asked. "You've never had a girlfriend before, let alone a wife." 

"And you only _like_ me, remember?" Amy also objected. 

"You think she'll forgive him?" Jeff asked. "If that were Shannon yelling at Crystal like that, she'd have probably-" 

"Walked out on him? Give me a break," Matt quickly shrugged off any idea of negative effect. 

Inside... 

"Marissa," he began on one knee. "I'd like to say something to you. Please listen to me. I didn't mean to be so loud with you. It's happened before: I'm sure you know it. Well, maybe not to you, but it has happened before. You remember the day after WrestleMania? Things got better instantly. Lita forgot about all that. I forgot as well, but here this incident completely reminds me. Listen to me. You've been getting furious ever since you heard you were on warning. Jericho decided to try to cheer you up with a little humor, hoping you'd laugh and say it was pathetic or something. No one thought you'd just come up and jump the man. Their completely good room hasn't been destroyed, but it's been messed up. I got carried away in all the harm of his situation. But I know I should have handled it better. I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry about yelling at you, I feel pathetic inside right now, and I truly hope you can find it in you to forgive me once again. These words that I'm about to say, they're hard to come by. But, right now, I feel as though you have to remember them once more. These three words are the reason that we're married in the first place. Although you probably know enough clues about these words, they mean a lot more when they're actually said than when they're figured out, so I'll just tell you right now." At that point, he stalled a bit, and we go outside. 

"Listen to that," Lita said. 

"I think he's about to burst it out," Matt predicted. 

"She still won't forgive him," Jeff continued to underestimate the power of love. "Do you not realize how harsh that was?" 

"You completely underestimate-" 

"The power of love," Lita cut Matt off to finish that line...HEY, THAT'S MY LINE!!!! You two better apologize or I'll go red on you!!!! 

Back inside... 

"I love you," he finally said before breaking into sobs of his own. 

At the sound of those words, she rose from her seat and picked him up. Then came something called MTMR. Figure it out, don't tell. I mean don't tell me...or anyone I don't quite seem to trust. However, we don't stay in there. We immediately head outside before it even gets to ten seconds. 

"Listen," Eric was speaking to the Hardyz and Lita. "This coming Monday night on RAW, we're going to begin a little series of what I like to call opposidious tag team matches." 

"What are you talking about?" Matt asked. 

"And what's that got to do with us?" Jeff added. 

"Now, that has a lot to do with the two of you," Eric immediately commented. "Because, if I recall correctly, you're a tag team, too, right?" 

"Yeah, so what?" Matt asked. 

"So what? So what!?" Eric yelled. "I'll tell you what. You, Matt, are going to team with D-Von Dudley against Jeff and Bubba Ray!" 

"Is that a punishment?" Matt asked. 

"No, you idiot!" Eric continued yelling before sighing and calming down. "I'll tell you what. It's not a punishment. It's the opposidious tag match. This stuff'll be going on until Execution. Oh, yeah, and as for the rules. The people who win the most matches in each tag team are the winners, and the winners team against the losers the night after Execution. And, Edge and Jericho are the ones teaming up from the Red Brood. I'd like to see if combustible elements develop between each tag team. That's all you had to know, now let me get lost." At that point, Shane and Marissa come out all smiles. 

"Jeff's the only one who doubted the power of love," Matt reported. 

"You are one young idiot," Shane told Jeff. 

"Shut up, man," Jeff said, immediately trying to evade all the satire. 

"Hey, now let me get on with it," Matt said. "There's this something called the opposidious tag team matchup series. It starts this next Monday night on RAW. Two tag team partners will compete against each other in tag matches. I have to team with D-Von against Bubba and Jeff." 

"So one member of one tag team and a member of the other go against the other members of that same tag team?" Shane concluded. 

"Exactly," Matt confirmed. 

"Eric said this would go on until Execution, when none of that occurs," Jeff added. "But guess what: they actually count everyone's wins. And all the winning partners take on all the losing partners, the winners being those who score off the most victories." 

"So, you could be put against somebody you can't or couldn't stand?" Shane asked. "If anybody from DX, the nWo or the T&A Express is there, you're telling me you guys are going to have to team against each other and with them someday, right? Well, I don't know what they could be thinking." 

"They're probably trying to produce good TV," Matt said. "But I don't like the idea. He said he'd like to see if there was any animosity between the teams when this was over." 

"We just gotta do what we gotta do," Jeff said in a matter-of-factly way. 

"Remember, go through with the matches as WWE Superstars competing, but out of those matches, you two are brothers. Understand?" Lita tried to immediately put an agreement between the two. 

"Yeah, we get the point," Matt approved. Jeff nodded to display his approval of the idea. The two brothers shook hands and embraced. 

8:01 PM, starting SmackDown: The I'm Back theme goes off and out comes the Bischoff. Biker jacket, black shirt and blue jeans, Bischoff carries a mic right here on SmackDown. Apparently, he's coming into the ring for several important reasons...hinted by this chapter. 

"Now, let me get on with orders of business. First, roll some footage." 

As the footage came on the titantron as to the terminated ones, Cole commented. 

"Earlier today, Mr. McMahon had assembled everybody in the locker room for important reasons. The thing is, Hardcore Holly, The American Dragon, Scotty Too Hotty and William Regal were cut from WWE, and several others were warned or chanced. Goldust, the Bull and Billy Gunn have to compete in a Triple Threat Match, the winner keeping his job and the others going home or looking for another company to wrestle in. Steven Richards and Justin Credible have to team against two Kaientai members and win if they want to keep their jobs. Marissa McMahon has had a hell of a bad hair day after being informed that she'd be fired herself if she couldn't actually show herself, and I don't blame the office." 

The insignificant parts were cut off as Cole spoke, so after a few seconds, it was off. 

"Well, you may hate us because of some people involved in this mess," Eric continued, "but you've got to understand the arenas are getting overcrowded because these locker rooms are too much. Plus, these people have little entertaining chance - all of them, I mean - of winning a #1 contender's shot for any title in this company! Anyway, onto other issues. There is this little program I've made up called the oipposidious tag team challenge! And here's how it's governed: we have ten tag teams that will be involved. The rules are basically like this: two people from different selected tag teams will wrestle in tag matches against their partners beginning this coming RAW, June 2nd, 2003! Anyone among the winning team in an opposidious match will get a victory on the count. The other partners get nothing. The 10 partners with more points than their partners win, and the others lose. The winners take on the losers the RAW after Execution! Now, let me tell you two matches to make things clearer. But before I start, there will be two regular tag matches and two six-mans each night. Now let me get on with it. In one of the matches, Matt Hardy teams with D-Von Dudley against Bubba Ray Dudley and Jeff Hardy! And in another of them, Jamie Noble, Shawn Michaels and Raven take on Scott Hall, Kevin Nash and John Cena! And, as far as the Battle Royal is concerned, the twenty contestants will be named later." 

Eric drops the mic and walks out to I'm Back. 

8:32 PM: The Mattitude Connection goes up and out come Matt, Jeff and Shane to the Live for the Moment theme. Before I deal with outfits, I'll talk Matt Facts. 

JEFF IS   
GILBERT   
HARDY'S   
FAVORITE   
CHILD. 

and 

SHANE WAS   
ONCE A   
RUNNER OF   
THE   
CORPORATION. 

True, true. The three Extreme ones wear the exact same outfits as they did three nights ago, and suddenly, the theme which strikes fear into the souls of man...yes, I am talking about Invasion, the theme of Bill Goldberg. He wears black short tights with the design of his tattoo in white on the back and a design of his face in red on the front. The explosive chants of "Gold-Berg!" and the fireworks and the intense attitude are there as they always have been. When he comes into the ring, however, he points to Shane and says something harsh and disturbing, although not profane, to him. It can't exactly be heard by the cameras, but by Shane's expression of susprise or fear, whatever Goldberg said had to be big. Anyway, that's when the Next Big Thing theme comes, and out comes the man...Brock Lesnar! With that same winged "demon" white design on the back of his own black short tights, Lesnar, like all others in this match, gets major applause. But the moment he enters the ring, Goldberg tries to spear one of the Extreme ones, more specifically Shane, but Brock holds him back into sanity, which rarely happens with Goldberg. It's the Big Bill and the Great Big Thing against Version 1, Shane-O and the daredevil. Lesnar decides to enter the ring first, and Jeff says he'll take the boat. Remember, when Heyman was still Brock's agent, they had once been screwing with what was then just plain Team Extreme, or should I call it, the 3 Extreme, including Lesnar trying to break Matt Hardy in half and facing him at Backlash 2002 in a one-on-one and Heyman stealing Lita's travel bag and showing off the thongs inside in front of the 3 Extreme. 

Anyway, Jeff and Brock are in a bit of a staredown. Matt yells at Jeff not to let past tensions boil his mind out. Jeff ducks under Lesnar and gets him in the School Boy cover. However, Brock kicks out after the count of 2, and as soon as they get up, Jeff runs into a major clothesline. He seems knocked out, but Lesnar decides to try to get him up for an F5, except Jeff ain't the kind to quit the moment he gets into a match, so he punched Lesnar into letting him off. He then pushes Lesnar into Irishwhip, but Lesnar sees Matt and Shane are where he's headed, so he double-clotheslines them off. However, Jeff gives him a dropkick which lands him outside with them. Jeff immediately slingshoots himself over the top rope for a cross body takedown, and Brock, who hasn't been knocked down, turns around right into it. Once Jeff rises from the fall on top of Brock, he gets up on the apron corner and fires off a short moonsault on top of the downed monster. The count-out philosophy's been taken out a long time ago, and now, Jeff is stomping to his content all over Lesnar. Brian Hebner stops Goldberg from getting there through the ring, but only for three seconds, because now the Big Bill is too angry to be contained. He pushes dowh Hebner, enters the ring, slides out the other side and gives Jeff a hard kick to the midsection. At that point, he gets him set up for a powerbomb, and he fires it. However, Goldberg can make short work of every opponent he's around. Lesnar finally gets room to get up, and he shoves Jeff in. Matt and Shane are back up, Hebner's not there, and they see Jeff get picked up, and then sandwiched in clotheslines from the two monsters. Now, they get onto different turnbickle posts and catch the monsters' attention. Shane dropkicks Goldberg and Matt does so to Lesnar. Problem is, Bill's not down, he just lost a little bit of balance, but he quickly gets that. He Irishwhips Shane, runs to the opposite ropes and gives him that deadly Spear on the crash course. Matt's about to give Lesnar the Twist of Fate, but quickly gets pushed right into a turnbuckle. In a bit of pain from the turnbuckle collision, Matt turns around into an F5 from Brock Lesnar. All three opponents are knocked out, so Goldberg and Lesnar discuss who will cover who when they suddenly remember Jeff and Brock are the legal men. Goldberg attempts to wake Hebner and point him to the cover. However, that backfires, because due to that push Bill gave the ref, Goldberg and Lesnar are disqualified, handing Goldberg only the second loss in his career! Now, he loses it on Hebner and the opponents. He hangs the four of them up on turubuckles after exposing the top rope posts, but before he and Brock can ram into all of them, the Boss Man theme comes on, and out comes Raymond in the black policeman's outfit. Night stick in a pocket, microphone in hand, Ray begins to speak. 

"Hey, hey, hey! If you're planning on doing what I think you're planning on doing, you might as well know it doesn't sit well with Lita, it doesn't sit well with Marissa, and it doesn't sit well with the office! You two ram into any one of these four men you've hung and you will be suspended for a month, and you, Bill Goldberg, will be stripped of your WWE title, and it will be handed to the winner of the Battle Royal at Execution! Do you understand!?" 

After seeing that Brock nods and Goldberg just looks at him with hatred, he continues. 

"And, if you don't release these four men in ten seconds - I have a stopwatch - then the suspension and title strip counts! Now, let it begin! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...oh, good. 9.45 seconds. That was a close one for the two of you! Now, each of you will help two of these men back! And if you don't, you're suspended! And neither of you better stumble or throw them out of the ring or drop them on the path! The foolish person who doesn't follow these giudelines takes the suspension, and it could be both or neither or either of you! And if you get suspended, Goldberg, your title goes to the Execution Royal winner!" 

It takes a while to get out of the ring with two men on your back, and Brock takes a bit longer than Goldberg. However, they both do not stumble, and Goldberg gets Matt and Shane while Jeff and Hebner are taken care of by Lesnar. Brock looks at Ray in hatred as they pass and spits on him. 

"McMahon saw that, you know!" Raymond yelled when Brock left and he was done looking at the spit stain. 

9:21 PM: I'm Back went up again, and out came the Bischoff, same outfit and all. 

"Let me get on with the 20 stars of the Rumble. Now, let me make the listings. The competitors are Albert (boo), Brock Lesnar (mixed), Bubba Ray Dudley (cheers), Chris Benoit (cheers), the winner between Haas and Palumbo tonight (cheers), Chris Jericho (mixed), Dave Batista (boo), "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan (cheers), Jamal (boo), Kane (mixed), Ken Shamrock (cheers), Kevn Nash (cheers), Mark Henry (cheers), Rob Van Dam (cheers), The Rock (cheers), Scott Hall (boo), Scott Steiner (cheers), "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels (cheers), "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (cheers), and Triple H! (boo) How do you like that? (most cheer, few boo) Good! Because this Execution is going to be a rocket buster!" 

I'm Back went on again, and Bischoff went up the ramp and backstage, all smiles. 

10:13 PM, after SmackDown: Bill Goldberg was now in the Corporate Office. He was requested there by Mr. McMahon, via means of Stephanie's message. 

"Goldberg, we need to talk," Vince said sternly. As he continued, his voice sonn turned into a furious yell "When I signed you on in WWE, I never said you could attempt to end someone's life here! Those are three Superstars, not in the Heavyweight Championship pictures, and one referee that you tried to kill a hundred minutes ago! If you hit all of them twice each in those position, the Hardy Boyz and Shane would never be able to wrestle again! And Brian Hebner would be dead! WWE would be sued either by any relatives of Hebner or the Hardyz or by whoever would have to arrest you or by your people! Most Superstars and Divas would call a strike due to the conditions of an unsafe working environment! If you went on with that selfish anger, you would have cost this company dearly! You won't be suspended, but as of right now, your WWE Heavyweight Title is stripped from being your property, and it will be put on the line in the Battle Royal! And, one more thing: YOU WILL NOT BE CONSTITUTED TO REPLACE CHUCK PALUMBO OR ANYONE ELSE IN THE RUMBLE! Do you not know what you would have done!? You would have begun the end for WWE! Is retribution for one simple loss worth it!? This is only your second! It's not like you lose every time you wrestle! In fact, it's the opposite! You win every time you wrestle! Your only loss came by a taser! And now, because you lose a second due to DISQUALIFICATION, I might add, you attempt to kill one man and end three's careers!? I'll tell you what: as soon as SmackDown the 19th of June is over, you are grounded to the plane, and if any Superstar catches you even anywhere off the plane, then read my lips: YOU'RE FIRED!!!!! And not only that, it'll be with NO INVITATION OF RETURN! Now get the hell out of here!" 

Goldberg then made a huge mistake by grabbing Vince and throwing him to the wall. Ray hits Goldberg in the head with the night stick, yet it only feels like a little bump to Bill, who immediately shoves Ray down. Vince gets up. 

"That's it! You're grounded to the plane as of NOW, Goldberg!" Vince edited it a little more serious. "If, after one minute from now, you are caught off the plane at any moment's notice, then YOU'RE FIRED!!! This goes on until Execution is over! Now get the hell on the plane!" 

Ready to see some opposidious matches? Well, get opposidious, because that's the title of _Chapter 31: Get Opposidious!_ Stick around, and look out. Check out the last chapter once again, and the rest of Shannon's lines are handed or deleted. 


	31. Get Opposidious!

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 31: Get Opposidious!**

Shoot! I almost forgot to tell about those two matches that concerned with people going! 

Okay, so Goldust was about to win when he got in the Curtain Call on the Bull, next thing you know, he was, quote Cole, "dropped by an ass". Billy covered him, 1, 2, 3, and Goldust and Stamboli packed up, took their notices and went home...out of a job. 

Richards and Credible picked Funaki and Taka for opponents. Problem is, they completely took their opponents lightly, and soon, the Michinoku Driver finished their WWE contracts as Credible was pinned by Taka. 

Okay, now that I'm done going back to what I forgot on SmackDown, let me get on with this ridiculous story! But first, I had better put up the data charts. First, we're going with the Titles! 

WWE Heavyweight Championship vacant due to the actions of former Champion Bill Goldberg   
World Heavyweight Champion: The Undertaker (since 5/18/03, Judgment Day)   
WWE Tag Team Champions: Bill DeMott and The Big Show (since 5/18/03, Judgment Day)   
World Tag Team Champions: Los Guerreros (since 4/20/03, Backlash)   
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Tommy Dreamer (since 5/22/03, SmackDown)   
World Intercontinental Champion: John Cena (since 5/18/03, Judgment Day)   
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 3/23/003, WrestleMania XVIV)   
World Cruiserweight Champion: Lieutenant Loco (since 5/18/03, Judgment Day)   
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria (since 2/16/03, Starrcade)   
World Women's Champion: Chyna (since 3/23/03, WrestleMania XVIV 

Okay, so now that I'm done with that, I might as well reveal who came...nah, forget it. And forget about who's gone, too. For now, let's attack groups: and group stables have to include three or more people!!! I'll give the groups, member count and member names. 

New World Order (7): Scott Hall, D'Lo Brown, Raven, Victoria, Bill DeMott, Dave Batista, The Big Show   
H5 Team Extreme (6): Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Shane McMahon, Lita, Marissa McMahon, Shannon Moore (arena suspension)   
T&A Express (5): Jazz, Test, Albert, Jamie Noble, John Cena   
D-Generation X (5): Essa Rios, Tori, Triple H, X-Pac, Billy Gunn   
Tough Trax (5): Al Snow, Nidia, Ivory, Maven, Chris Nowinski   
Team Bring It (5): The Rock, The Kat, Booker T, Ken Shamrock, Rikishi   
Team Angle (5): Charlie Haas, Kurt Angle, Sunny, Tazz, Chris Benoit   
Heads of Dudleyville (4): Bubba Ray Dudley, Spike Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Stacy Keibler   
Red Brood (4): Trish Stratus, Chris Jericho, Edge, Christian   
Kaientai (4): Taka Michinoku, Kaz Hayashi, Sho Funaki, Yoshi Tajiri   
Latino Heat (3): Chyna, Lieutenant Loco, Eddie Guerrero   
Three Minute Warning (3): Jamal, Rosey, Rico   
Nightmares of Brimstone (3): Kane, The Undertaker, The Hurricane 

In overall, I've counted, and 59 of the apparently 80 WWE Superstars and Divas are in a group, which shows that people really have a high co-existing balance, whether anyone likes to admit it or not. 

People currently under suspensions... 

Shannon Moore - Arena suspension   
Bill Goldberg - Plane grounding 

Now for people who have lost their jobs in the preset/occurance of the saga. 

Chief Morley   
B²   
Ric Flair   
William Regal   
Scotty Too Hotty   
The American Dragon   
Hardcore Holly   
Steven Richards   
Justin Credible   
Johnny Stamboli   
The Road Dogg   
Goldust 

You know basically everybody who came back or came in...oh, all right. I'll put it down. 

The American Dragon (came in still Michaels' kid before being fired)   
Ken Shamrock (spent some time in TNA before coming back prior to WrestleMania)   
Shane McMahon (was already doing off-screen work in the company before coming back on WWE TV and joining the Extreme)   
Chyna (was a wrestler/referee in Japan for a while after her contract bought out)   
Bill Goldberg (wrestled in Japan after WCW contract buyout)   
Hulk Hogan (still had contract but was in limbo and looked as though he was to be released)   
Steve Austin (had contract suspended during walkout)   
Tori (basically did nothing wrestling-wise after previous release)   
Sunny (was fired after a few no-shows and became disrespectful to Divas but is now back, very sorry and willing to contribute)   
Charlie Haas (wrestled in Ohio Valley as RC Haas)   
Tazz (was a color commentator on SmackDown before joining Team Angle and being replaced by John Madden)   
The Kat (was married to Jerry Lawler, who had quit for awhile in protest after she was fired last time)   
Marissa McMahon (stayed home after LiveWire crashed until 2/27/03)   
Scott Hall (had been out in TNA for about 10½ mos. before returning at WrestleMania)   
Taka Michinoku (had owned a Japanese wrestling promotion)   
X-Pac (was released when nWo Unit 2 was over and went to TNA for awhile)   
The Road Dogg (was caught smoking pot, resulting in first termination, but went into TNA for awhile) 

Okay, is that all? Because I've got work to do, McMahon! 

Monday, June 2nd, 2003   
Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis, MN 

10:31 AM: The WWE Superstars are absolutely flabbergasted about Billy, quote, "cheating to win" to keep his job, but there were no ropes or tricks involved in that winning cover he had gotten on Goldust. At least the H5 understand that, and they are fully concentrated on what will happen tonight. The brand new opposidous tag team challenge set up by the Corporate Office members will begin tonight, and in the midst of it all, Matt and Jeff will not be on the same side of the card. However, if you recall, they sort of promised that whatever happened in the ring, they would always be brothers at home and on the road. 

Many teams have objected to the Corporate Office's ideas, but Mr. and Mrs. McMahon have learned of the Hardy harmony through the mess, and while wondering if it would still be Hardy harmony after the challenge was over, they trusted the promise and trusted that the challenge would not do any harm, at least not to those who thought like the Hardyz. They trusted it because for two months, the H5 Team Extreme, including the Hardy Boyz, have experienced what it is like to have one's life made a living hell. And they stayed together and succeeded through it all. So now Matt and Jeff would be teaming against each other, but two brothers who really thought it sucked were Bubba Ray and D-Von, two of the Dudley Boyz. The other one, Spike, was rather relieved that he was not going to be involved in another fight with Bubba or D-Von: he had had enough of those in the past, and now that they were three good brothers again, he didn't want any more of it. 

Meantime, other teams involved in there were completely flabbergasted, and if there were no person remaining to calm them down, they would have puked or announced retirement. However, they all soon decided to go with the flow, under strong persuasion. Although they didn't have The American Dragon around them anymore and they didn't have any group identity, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash received a little bit of Hulkamania to calm them down. It seems the Hardyz were the only ones handling this situation well. They thought of this as a test of skill and tolerance. And they'd pass it. They're so together as brothers there is no way they could fail this test. Anyway, enough on the detail telling (I'm not used to doing that in this story with anything other than matches) and onto the act. 

Okay, so now the H5...well, they're just sitting around, bored. Most teams would find something to do, and most of the time, these dudes would. But the problem is, those guys are concentrating on the very near future, as in about 10-12 hours later tonight, because Matt and Jeff are on opposite sides, you know. But the thing is, Matt has something else on his mind. What that something else is will not be told, except here's a clue: it's got something to do with the man's good-natured heart of Mattitude. Key words: good-natured heart. Man, I'm using key words a lot, because the #1 fans are the MFers, and Matt likes key words...that has nothing to do with it, really. I was just giving good-natured humor. Okay, now let me get back to the story! 

"Well, tonight's the beginning of the opposidious challenge," Matt broke the boredom silence. 

"That's all okay, fine, interesting and dandy," Jeff said. 

"There's something else about today, though, but I can't quite put my finger on it, though," Marissa said. 

"I've been thinking about what that could be, too, you know," Shane added. 

"Well, keep thinking, because I'm not going to say a word about it," Lita said. 

"What?" Matt asked. "Come on. What's the matter?" 

"Um, you don't know why I won't talk about it yet, so let me tell you. It's because I don't know," Lita sorely disappointed the others. 

"Oh, man," Jeff said. 

There was a knock on the door. 

"Come on in," Matt invited whoever that was. 

The door opened to reveal The Hurricane, and he was standing with Molly Holly. The only exception is that she didn't have that brown hair dye and her hair was back to its old normal state and light blonde color, and she wore a superhero's outfit once more. 

"What's going on around here?" Matt asked in shock. 

"I'll tell you what's going on around here, Citizen Matt," Molly said, using one of Hurricane's lines. "Mighty Molly is back! That's what!" 

"Hey, I'm the one who's to use the whole 'citizen' line, okay?" Hurricane said. 

"All right, then," Molly agreed. 

"Well, my peasantly friends, it just so seems as though I have the job of calling a match and defeating that evil Evan," Hurricane said. 

"#1, we're not peasants," Matt corrected. "#2, you're supporting an evil master yet you're superheroes. #3, quote you, 'wazupwitdat'?" 

The H5 laughed, and Molly and Hurricane were a little embarrassed and angry. They got over it and decided to walk away. 

"Geez, those guys just had to turn the day from boring to bad," Matt complained. 

"Hey, hey, hey, don't worry about it," Lita tried to calm him down. 

"Ah, well," Matt shrugged him off. "So, what's the other thing? Anybody figured it out?" 

They all thought for a few minutes and said, "oh, yeah!" 

"Think we should go see if Hurricane's making good on his promise?" Lita asked. 

"Well, that's a pretty good time-killing idea," Jeff agreed. "Let's go." 

They decided to leave their locker room and head to the warmup room. 

What they saw there was as immediate as a thrashing of evil, because the Eye of the Hurricane and the 1, 2, 3 were the first things that they saw happen to Evan. Thing is, Hurricane went under the ring and gave a thumbs up to somebody, and it was revealed as Trish with a pink bikini on! 

"Well, I can easily guess what happened," Lita said. "She undressed into that, hid under the ring, and came out and distracted Evan once she figured it was match time. She hid back under there after he got the eye, and you know what that is." 

"Easily predictable, Lita," Matt tried to shrug it off as ordinarily guessable judgment. After all, Trish is known as a "slut" to most people, whatever the heck that means. And I think that little ounce of Mattitude is a joke! Okay, that was a joke comment, so don't even mind it. 

"Good work, man!" Matt called to Hurricane, who heard, got into the ring, and gave him a thumbs up as well. 

"Hey, listen up! The darkness has fallen!" Hurricane yelled. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Matt asked. 

"You'll see!" 

1:43 PM: Matt just came into the H5 locker room and turned off his cell. 

"What was that?" Lita asked. 

"Ah, I was just making a few last minute deals," Matt said. 

"With who?" Marissa asked. 

"Go ahead and tell us," Shane coaxed. 

"How about not," Matt responded to the coming information pleas. 

The others sighed. 

"Ah, well," Matt shrugged this one off. "So, what do you guys want to do?" 

"I think it might be a little fun to get a little food," Lita said. 

"Well, we got that taken care of," D-Von said from outside the door, where he and the rest of the Heads of Dudleyville were...with Subway and Burger King brown bags. 

"Hey, D-Von!" Matt greeted and invited from the other side of the door. "Come on in!" 

Bubba Ray opened the door, and in the four of them came. 

"So, what's going on with your lives?" Shane asked. 

"Not much," Spike said. "For some reason, though, Stacy's a little depressed." 

"Yeah, and we're trying to shrug it off as a little notion, but it's just there," Bubba added. 

"Hasn't been this way since Sunny finished her job against Taker back eleven days ago," D-Von added. 

"That's exactly what's getting under my skin!" Stacy yelled. "Sunny, Sunny, Sunny! What the hell happened to the 41½-inch attention being paid to the 41½-inch legs!? This past Thursday night, I tried t seduce Chuck, but he only kicked me off!" 

"You hit the rail?" Lita asked. 

"Yes!" Stacy kept whining! 

"Stace, calm down! You could have said something before!" Bubba scolded. "Tell ya what: how about a bikini challenge? You on one side, Sunny on the other. Fans judge, Spike and Tazz introduce you two, anybody who interferes will pay hell from both groups. How's that?" 

"Better," Stacy said simply. 

"Okay, then it's settled," Matt said. "Might as well go tell Mr. McMahon." 

"You're going?" 

"I said you might as well go tell, Bubba!" Matt answered his question. 

"Heh," Bubba chuckled it off. "Pretty funny I fell for that. Might as well go away to the Fairs Lupiter comet. Now what the hell is that?" 

"Hey, hey, hey," Jeff cut him off. "Enough lame jokes, man. Tell you what: why don't you guys head over to Vince and take care of business, huh?" 

"Hey, we've got some food here," D-Von said. "Want to come join us in our room for a little eating?" 

"Thanks, but no thanks," Matt declined. "But you could go ahead and ask the Red Brood. After what Trish pulled on Evan this morning, they'd be glad to have a chat and some chow." 

"Thanks," Bubba said. He and Matt shook hands firmly. "Good luck tonight." 

"You too, man," Matt responded. The Heads of Dudleyville left. 

5:15 PM: There was a knock on the door, and then, someone said, "Special delivery" in somewhat of an imitative voice rather than a real one. 

"Come on, who the heck is this anyway?" Matt asked. 

When the door opened, they saw exactly what they were correctly remembing. 

"Welcome back, Shannon!" Matt exclaimed. "So, how'd it go?" 

"Not too good, not too bad," Shannon said. "Your dad showed up and told me I needed to show some respect." 

"Don't worry about him, he's always being so corrective," Matt said. "But that's because he cares. Now come on." 

"He's saying that only to me," Shannon clarified. "You guys just go on and close the door." 

There was a black safe-like cartridge or two behind Shannon, who had his back turned to the other wall. He went behind the "safe" and took out a gift-wrapped package covered in brown paper bag. 

"I see you've got it," Matt said. "But it can easily be found under there." 

"Best place I can find, though it's not so good," Shannon said. "Let's go talk to the Red Brood. They might know." 

"Hey, hey, hey, wait up," Matt cut him off at the pass. "I've got a better idea. Come on." 

They headed for the stage entry area and walked down the ramp, taking the package and hiding it under the ring. 

9:03 PM, starting RAW: The Mattitude Connection started up, and out came Matt and Shannon to Live for the Moment. Matt wore the V1 shirt and the purple/gold Matt Pants, and Shannon wore the MF Vroom-A-Zoom shirt and the red Speedsters. Before that happened, however, there was a little commercial segment on TNN with Shannon's announced return from arena suspension. Anyway, the Matt Facts... 

MATT   
KNOWS   
HOW TO   
MAKE   
SECRET   
DEALS. 

and 

SHANNON   
IS THE   
FIRST   
EVER   
MFER. 

Okay, so they showed a lot of Vroom-A-Zoom and Mattitude, and when they were halfway down the ramp, Lilian had announced this welcome: 

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Matt Hardy and the returning Shannon Moore!" They asked for her microphone a moment, and she handed it to Matt. 

"Well, ladies, gentlemen and Mattitude Followers," Matt started with cheers coming from the crowds and screams from the ladies - which he doesn't worry about anymore, "the return of the first **professional** Mattitude Follower, Shannon Moore!" That earned some cheers, some boos. "Now, I mean he's the first MFer with a professional paid job that I can think of, but that wasn't intended to disrespect anybody in attendance, or anybody watching at home." Matt then handed the mic to Shannon during the yaying response they were receiving. 

"Anyway, the first order of business, I have something to say. First of all, it's damn great to be back in WWE! Now, the reason I got suspended is because of the newest member of the warmup system, Evan Karagias. I was supposed to go into a warmup, but he tried to kill me. I got angry, and we ended up fighting again later that day. I got suspended for a week, but now Shannon Moore is back! Whoo hoo! And another thing: I've been watching this past week, and I know about the opposidious challenge. My request before it starts, Mr. McMahon, is that I get to replace Matt in the challenge, including tonight's match." 

Matt was a bit surprised, but he wasn't exactly angry. He quietly asked for the microphone, and Shannon gave it to him. 

"Well, Shannon, there's only one thing I can say. This is a good test of friendship for you and Jeff, but make sure you stay under our promise, okay? That competitive edge will not turn into hatred. Either what I just said is the truth or I'm walking out and I'm pulling an Austin. Is that clear?" 

Shannon nodded. 

The I'm Back theme went on, and Bischoff, in jacket, black shirt, jeans and smiles, spoke from the top of the ramp. 

"Well, I am absolutely surprised about this," Eric started on his own mic. "Well, you see, the simple matter of the fact is this: Mr. McMahon put me in charge of the damn opposidious challenge! Shannon, you want Matt Hardy's spot? You've got Matt Hardy's spot! Congratulations to the greatest Mattitude Follower of all time!" He was saying this in cheers and smiles. "That it?" 

"Yeah, pretty much," Shannon responded. 

Eric left back the way he came. 

He had gotten the mic back when Eric came out. 

"Well, now that that order of business is over, we would like to call out our own model of grace, the Diva of the H5 Team Extreeme, Lita!" 

At that sound, there were many cheers and few boos. After a few seconds, however, the fans boomed with anticipation as the Snowflake theme came on, and Lita came out in a white short-sleeve top with pink edgerounds and dark red glitter of her name in an old familiar font - the one on her first tron, to be more specific - and the midnight green NC pants. At first, she was a little tentative to come out, but she realized that Matt and Shannon came down to the bottom of the ramp outside the ring and had good and valid smiles on their faces. She couldn't resist her boyfriend and a great friend of theirs, now could she? So, she summoned all her energetic nature and _really_ came out, using a sign she had just invented. It's Mattitude, except the index finger's down. 

_That's what I call Ignition,_ she thought proudly as she rushed into the ring, got up and kept on with its usage. Matt carried the mic in one hand, and he got up on the apron. 

"Well, Lita, this is one night I don't want to miss, and I'm glad you could come out," Matt said, bringing a smile to Lita's face. "Anyway, let me get on with it, already. Shannon, come on and bring it out." 

"Bring what out?" Lita's mouth read. 

Shannon had the package in his hand, and he held it up to where Matt could get it. That the elder Hardy did after putting his mic in a side pocket of his pants. Matt took off the green tie wrap, took off the brown cover and opened the box, revealing what looked like some sort of bandana or clothing. When she took it out, she saw it: a dark blue top with a light yellow V and heart, the outline being pink. She hung it up on the top rope behind her, and she took the other part, and it looked like a pair of Matt Pants her size which was the colors of the old Mattivest: midnight greenish teal and golden. Her eyes were beaming, she was high smiles. She hung her new Matt Pants on the rope as well, and then she stripped that box right out of Matt's hand and hugged him in a surprisingly fast manner in which he wasn't really ready for. She let go after a second, and he got the microphone. 

"Behold, your very own outfit of Mattitude! How do you like it?" Matt asked. He now lowered and outstretched the mic to her so she could speak. 

"I love it!" Lita jumped. "It's wonderful. Thank you so much, Matt!" 

The Glass Shatters theme came up, and out came Austin in his What shirt and cut jeans. With his same old bird salute, beer attitude and all, Austin took the mic out of Matt's hands and spoke. 

"Well, ain't that cute and lovely?" he said before suddenly stunning Matt right in front of Lita's face, forcing her to run with her precious new outfit for her life! 

"Don't worry, I ain't gonna hurt ya," Steve assured Lita there was nothing to fear. "I only did that 'cause I can't stand love scenes. (What?) I can't stand romantic scenes. (What?) I said, I can't stand these little romance scenes! (boo) Anyway, let me get serious. You know, there are people who need to compete. The three of you have been wasting too much damn time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to call out Triple H." 

Out came the Time to Play the Game theme and the former World Champion himself in DX shirt and jeans, with Gunn backing him up in case something went down and boos to show the disapproval of the crowd towards D-Generation X. The H5 members left, and there was quite the scuffle between the Degenerates and Austin. Rock and Shamrock chimed in a little bit, and this whole thing was incomparable. 

9:42 PM: The Mattitude Connection started up again, except this time, the theme that went on was OK GO's excusive hit, Get Over It, and there was a pyro of The Undertaker all over. Appears that this is the Dead Man's new theme, except that it's not the Dead Man, because he comes out in the black tanktop and the Big Evil black shine pants, and he's on a bike, and his hair's cut and a bit brown again, and he's wearing another bandana and he's on a heavy motorbike as he used to as the Badarse, which means that the entire Brimstone concept is done. He was announced from Houston, Texas instead of from the Land of Brimstone as Lilian introduced him. It was going to be a tag team matchup. Anyway, he had a mic on the bike, telling you what else he had: something to say. Oh, yeah, and I almost forgot about Taker's Matt Facts. They are as follows: 

TAKER   
NEEDED   
MANY   
HAIR   
SUPPLEMENTS... 

...TO GO   
THROUGH   
WITH THE   
DARK   
BRIMSTONE   
IDEA. 

and 

SARA DID   
NOT LIKE   
THE DARK   
BRIMSTONE   
IDEA. 

These two facts can easily tell you that Taker is pretty much glad to be alive again. 

"So, let me get this straight," he started in his mic once he was in the ring and the connection got rid. "Tonight, I'm teaming up with Matt Hardy against Orton and Palumbo, eh? Well, before that happens, I'd like to say something here. First of all, I got a little pain in the tooth from being a, quote The Rock, 'dark dead candy a**'. So I decided to cut my hair, dye it brown again and throw away my stuff of darkness and rename the team the Souls of Disaster rather than Nightmares of Brimstone, because we're not evil. Besides, that's the only way we could get Molly to join in and become the Mighty one again. Second thing, I recommended the Heads of Dudleyville that the rename themselves the Department of Dudleyville, and they agreed to do so. Third thing, I ordered my bike back, and here I am. The American Bada** Package is back!" 

The Live for the Moment theme came on without any connection, and out came V1 in the same outfit, being accompanied by Lita, who wore her brand new outfit of Mattitude. Still feeling slight effects of that surprise Stunner from Austin, Matt was basically okay, but Lita was there to keep an eye on him. When Orton's music came on, he and Palumbo came out, Orton in the namebrand semi-short blue and yellow-text line tights and Palumbo in the black short tights with the old B&C Capital Palumbo design in orange. 

To begin the match, Matt stayed in along with Palumbo. Thing is, after they shook hands by the competitive spirit, the two of them basically had a streak of bad luck. Palumbo snapmared Matt and gave him a sleeper hold. Matt broke out of it after a few minutes and elbowed Chuck in the midsection. Matt ran to the ropes and came back to the half-crouched Palumbo and gave him a fast neck breaker. With that, he got the cover on him. 1, 2, kickout by Palumbo. Matt picked Palumbo up by the head and irishwhipped him. Running to the other ropes, Matt got clotheslined by Chuck on the crash, and the founder of Mattitude was down. Palumbo picked Matt up and scoop slammed him. He then tagged in Orton, who came in and picked Matt up, irishwhipped him and powerbombed him on the return route. He then covered him. 1, 2, kickout by the elder of the Hardy Boyz. Orton now gets in a surfboard stretch on Matt, whom after an excruciating three to six minutes broke his hands free from the trap. Matt attempted to crawl over to Taker for the tag. Unfortunately, Orton grabbed the shirt to pull him away before a tag could even be chanced. The tag to Palumbo, who picked him up and irishwhipped him for the discus punch. Palumbo went up to the second rope post and mocked the Mattitude Tarzan Call and the leg drop from the second rope, earning some boos. He got the cover. 1, 2, that edge called Mattitude is what keeps Matt Hardy alive. Suddenly, as Chuck picks Matt up, he receives a punch to the midsection, and then he gets set up for and hit into that world famous Side Effect! What it took out of Matt to do that was pretty much unthinkable. But Chuck was also pretty much down. Both men were down, Matt was practically out. Problelm is, he needed to crawl over to The Undertaker. Did he get that accomplished? Chuck tagged in Randy, who immediately rushed in and tried to prevent the Matt-Taker tag. However, when he cheap-shotted Taker, the tag had been made only about a fourth of a second beforehand! Orton noticed he was too late, so he came out and tried to stomp on Taker. Problem is, the American Badarse wasn't taking that for too long. He soon tripped Orton's stomping right foot from behind, causing the man to fall flat on his back. He then slid into the ring and clotheslined Palumbo all the way to the rail. Orton, who got on the apron unable to be disturbed by a very sore Matt Hardy, was beheaded right back into the ring by Taker, who irishwhipped him and gave him the boot. Taker picked up Orton and went up on the top rope post, going with that old rope walk attack technique that can really put a strain on a recipient shoulder. That it did. Taker told Matt to get in, and after he did that, he threw him right onto Palumbo, who had just gotten up, in order to keep him at bay. In order to put the finishing touches, he picked up Orton and set him up for what at least seemed like it was to be the Last Ride Powerbomb. That it was, and this was the last ride for Orton before another loss got put all over his record. Matt Hardy and The Undertaker won a match. 

As Get Over It went on again, Lita checked on Matt, who took lots of tire and damage in this match. Taker helped his injured partner up, and he and Lita carried him to the back. Souls of Disaster, eh? The Disaster part was at least supposed to be a scare for scheduled opponents. 

10:21 PM: The Eyes of Righteousness theme came up to a missile bombing of the stage, and out came D-Von, sporting the Testify shirt and gray/purple/white Dudleyville navy pant tights. When he got into the ring, he showed the 3D sign and waited. That's when the speedy MFer Shannon comes out as his entrance theme pops up, and he's in the same outfit as he wore when he had come out earlier. Warning the people that he was going on a 100 MPH speed limit basis, so to speak, Shannon wasn't in too bad a mood. Next thing you know, out comes Jeff to his theme, I've changed my name for it from just Extreme to Extreme Impressions. The face-painted daredevil still wore the Imagination shirt and the black/silver Matt Pants, and he was still as "extro-dramatic" as always, and then, when he got into the ring and stared at Shannon, that's when the missiles came off to Get the Tables, the theme that Bubba Ray had used after D-Von had gone to SmackDown for the extension...so, basically, the way it goes is when they come differently, they still use their old themes. Bubba wore the Dudley 3D jersey and darkred/gray/white Dudleyville navy pant tights. He also showed some 3D when he came into the ring, and he and D-Von hugged for a second, sort of remembering the old brand extension separation. 

However, when they were done, Bubba quickly held onto D-Von's hand and irishwhipped him into a spinbuster. Jeff was dropkicked by Shannon as soon as he turned his back on him to go to the apron corner, and he ended up going over the top rope and out of the ring. This was a case of racing your opponent, or so it seemed, because Shannon had the upper hand on Jeff, whose partner Bubba Ray had D-Von roped. Anyway, let me explain how it went. Bubba saw D-Von turn his back on him as he got up, so he was waiting for him to get up into a Bubba Bomb. But at that instant D-Von was beginning to rise, Shannon ran to the opposite ropes and returned to slingshoot himself right on top of Jeff's back. Then, he came right back into the ring just in time to witness the Bubba Bomb. Thing is, Bubba saw Shannon, and instead of getting the cover on his brother, the Mayor of Dudleyville decided to give Shannon a little taste of the Bionic Elbow attack and showoff combination. Shannon was knocked down. Thing is, Shannon immediately got up, and he tried to kick Bubba's knee, but got blocked and spun. It was right at the moment he turned it into a jump spinning dropkick and knocked Bubba Ray down that the No Chance theme went up, and out came Vince McMahon. 

"I have something to say here," Vince said on his microphone, sporting one of his traditional business suits. "The opposidious challenge will not be as expanded as Eric intended. It basically goes like this. Now, there are three opposidious tag matches a main show night, the matches will be held on a two-on-two tag team basis, and the tag teams involved are chosen mostly randomly. Some teams may have four, some five, but we will try to keep most teams at at least more than three matches. This really kind of helps concentration on partnerships and the major reduction of any animosity that might rise out of this equation of opposidous matches, because I see that some negative teams are not really sticking together. Oh, and one more thing before you restart this match, Mike: I need all WWE Superstars to meet me immediately after RAW is over." 

With that, he left, and the bell rang. The match was restarted. Bubba Ray and Shannon were going to be the legal men here. Shannon ducked under Bubba's open legs and dropkicked him from behind on the rope return. He then tried to get the cover on him. 1, 2, kickout by Bubba. Shannon worked on Bubba with his quickness. He immediately punched the back of Bubba's neck about three to eight times, then picked him up and threw him out of the ring. While Bubba was slowly getting up, Shannon ran to the opposite ropes and slingshot himself for a cross body attack. It worked, because Bubba was not completely set for the catch. Shannon then went on the apron and moonsaulted down on top of Bubba. He then quickly picked him up and shoved him into the ring, sliding in. Shannon now stomped Bubba Ray a few times, then reminded the people of the Speed Limit of 100 warning. Then, he went back to the fast pace with an immediate dropkick to Bubba's head, so the Mayor of Dudleyville no longer sat comfortably on one knee. He was now knocked to the ground. Shannon hooked the leg for a cover. 1, 2, kickout. Shannon picked Bubba up, irishwhipped him, and met his return with a jump spinning dropkick. Going for a twisting body attack from up top, Shannon missed, however, and ended up falling heavily and favoring his backside, giving Bubba Ray just the time he needed to get back up and go on the attack. Bubba used the Bionic Elbow attack and showoff combo on Shannon and took him down slightly. Shannon immediately got up and ran into a clothesline from Bubba...or so we would originally think, because he ducked and stopped to kick Bubba from back onto back. The Dudley was knocked off balance a little bit, but that was enough to buy time for Shannon to run to Bubba and get in a facebuster from behind. Shannon got the cover on Bubba. 1, 2, kickout. Shannon then tagged in D-Von, who decided to aggressively attack Bubba, Reverend of Dudleyville style with a few elbow drops on the kneed Mayor, D-Von's bigger half-brother, Bubba Ray Dudley. These made sure Bubba didn't get up. He let him up, irishwhipped him, and attacked with that cyclone forearm, taking Bubba down. D-Von went for the cover, and Bubba kicked out after two. Bubba turned his back on D-Von while trying to get up, and D-Von attepmted to reteach Bubba a mistake he had capitalized on a few minutes ago and give him the Saving Grace. Problem is, Bubba elbowed D-Von's gut, forcing him off. Bubba ran to the opposite ropes nearby and came back with an elbow drop takedown...he elbowed the back of D-Von's neck and took it down with the elbow. With that one, Bubba went to tag in Jeff, who flipped into the ring like a monkey and started to show the world why they call him the daredevil, much to the delight of crazy fangirls. He ran to D-Von, picked him up, irishwhipped him and used a twisting hurracanrana on him. Jeff tried to run to Shannon to cheap-shoot him, but the Speedy One crouched his head in between the middle and top ropes and pushed it forward into Jeff's gut. He then got back up and slingshot himself into the rign and got the sunset flip on him. Knowing he was not the legal man, Shannon immedaitely let go. Jeff rolled up, Shannon rose, and they both went for dropkicks on one another. Thing is, their boots connected, knocking both men by a little bit of distance, and they were heavily down. D-Von came from behind, picked Jeff up by the hair and attempted the Saving Grace on him. While it connected, the count of the cover was broken up at two by Bubba, who used his Bionic Elbow combo all over D-Von once he got up, and he kicked Shannon out of the ring. He then operated with an attempt at a Bubba Bomb, but D-Von, using desperate measures, fired with a damn groin kick. He was getting booed, shades of Lita at WrestleMania. But he did what he had to do in order to get the win, because the groin kick took Bubba down a bit, so he was forced to just suffer the Saving Grace once it was given to him. D-Von then got the cover. 1, 2, 3. 

D-Von Dudley and Shannon Moore had taken over and won the match. D-Von helped all three men up, so they didn't really hate him that much about the groin kick anymore. However, we can tell you that Spike and Stacy might complain about that. 

Oh, remember when McMahon said there would be three two-on-two tag matches for this stuff? Well, in one, Noble had to team with Michaels against Nash and Cena. That was a good match, but when Noble and Cena were the legal men, that turned out a big mistake. Soon came the Fire Thunder Driver and a 1, 2, 3. Oh, and Hall teamed with The Rock against Raven and Shamrock. Of course, the Razor and the Great One were the better men, but they could never get along, so Shanrock ended up clocking Hall and getting the cover while he was arguing with Rock, who didn't even do anything about it. 

11:09 PM: All the Superstars were now in the warmup room because Vince had something important to say on the podium. 

"Now, some friends and relatives of you WWE Superstars, Divas, etc, have been complaining that the WWE never lets you people see people. So I decided to get out this whole "everybody's together at once" system. Here's what I'm talking about: as soon as RAW is over, you will get a traditional non-WWE outfit out of your bag, go to the nearest airport, and head over to the next arena or wherever you want to go. Tuesday, enjoy yourself away. Wednesday, you have to get on a plane to the arena if that's not where you are. Whenever you're at the arena, check for a nearby hotel. Check in, pay your fines, go into your rooms, and on Thursday, before SmackDown, you'll be notified of any match you might have, and you'll be told to show up in time. Unless you can tell your match is pretty much late, you have to show up before SmackDown begins. As soon as SmackDown is over, same procedure except you can only take a few hours on Friday and head immediately back to the arena of SmackDown if you have a match on Velocity: you'll be notified in advance. If you have a match on HEAT and Velocity, you have to head to the HEAT arena hotel after Velocity and stay there until the coming RAW is over. Have a match on HEAT: you have to go on Saturday night to the arena of HEAT, head to that hotel and stay there until the coming RAW is over. If you have a match on neither HEAT nor Velocity, you can wait all the way 'till Sunday night before you head to the arena for RAW. And so on, and so on, and so on, this will go on. The arena of Velocity is the same one on which SmackDown was on two nights before, and the arena for HEAT is the one in which RAW will be held the next night, as a reminder to those who constantly forget. Is everyone understood?" 

The Superstars talked amongst themselves, nodded their heads or didn't do anything at all. 

"Well," Vince finished, "I see that I have made myself clear. The schedule starts now. As for us, we're using the Corporate plane to transport ourselves wherever. Now, be off with yourselves!" 

A few minutes later, the H5 are pretty much packed... 

"Well, I've decided to have a new shirt made for my show's honor," Marissa said. 

"What?" Matt asked. 

"Don't tell me...a LiveWire shirt?" Shane asked. 

"Oh, yeah," Marissa answered. 

"This is going to be a long few days," Shane said with a sigh. 

"Least Vince knows what he's doing," Lita commented. 

"Are you telling me-" 

"Yup," Lita said. "This idea is going to fail." 

Or so you think because here comes _Chapter 32: Three Minutes to Lose_. 


	32. Three Minutes to Lose

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 32: Three Minutes to Lose**

Okay, before I start, let's get on with the opposidious records. 

Jeff Hardy 0, Shannon Moore 1   
Bubba Ray Dudley 0, D-Von Dudley 1   
Chris Jericho 0, Edge 0   
Jamie Noble 0, John Cena 1   
Essa Rios 0, Triple H 0   
Taka Michinoku 0, Sho Funaki 0   
Scott Hall 0, Raven 1   
Kane 0, The Hurricane 0   
The Rock 0, Ken Shamrock 1   
Shawn Michaels 0, Kevin Nash 1 

Thursday, June 5th, 2003   
Palace of Auburn Hills in Detroit, MI 

3:24 PM: The H5 checked into the WWE's designated hotel for tonight's show not too long ago and took their own room. McMahon paid for all the people because he had that money plus billions more. The deal was struck: the WWE was staying the day, and they could leave for a longer while than authorized. Anyway, now they're all wearing outfits that they might never wear in the ring...NO, I'M NOT TALKING NUDE, YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!   
Sheesh...folks can be so immature at times, I need to warn them every 10 chapters or less... 

Anyway, let me get back on the track. They're in the hotel, it's quite a boring environment, and the Red Brood didn't even make it yet. The day was quite boring for most MFers to live by and thru. Okay, so what I mean is, the day's not exactly a lot of fun at this damn point. But let's get o with it, anyway. On the second floor, the H5 have two rooms: one is shared by the original 3 Extreme, the other one is shared by the other three. Right now, all 6 members are in the left room, belonging to the original Extreme ones. Of course, they have quite a few beds and seats...speaking of which, the beds are another reason for reverting back to the hotel plan. Anyway, getting on with it, we've got three boys laying flat on their backs pretending to be on an open grass and relaxing their lights out, and we've got two girls and another boy just sitting down in absolute confusion. Of course, one of the girls was not completely confused, if you know who and (What?) I mean. Suddenly comes a knock on the door to take out this little pretend and force the others to get up and Shannon to open the door. Who did he find? The Houdini of Hardcore, the moron of the times, Crash Holly. 

"Hey, kid, what's up?" Crash asked. 

"What's up is we were in the middle of a little bit of 'meditation' and you interrupted us, and we need an explanation," Matt quickly said before Shannon could say anything. 

"Meditation? Since when'd you guys get into that stuff?" Crash asked, obviously confused. 

"It's a joke, boy," Shannon answered. 

"Oh," Crash accepted that answer. "Anyway, I just came to tell you guys two things. Number one: I overheard Mr. McMahon talk about a match that pits the three people who actually checked into this room - yes, I know correctly - against Jamal, Rosey and a 'three minute woman', so to speak, that Rico's got on the team. Wonder who it could be." 

"I wouldn't put my bets on anybody right about now," Matt quickly said, the others nodding and/or saying he's right in order to display their agreement with his judgment. 

"Well, that's a good way," Crash said. "And that's not all. You know Latino Heat, right?" 

"Chyna, Loco and Eddie Guerrero, right?" Jeff asked. 

"Yeah," Crash said. "Let me make this short and simple. The winner faces them for the World Tag Team Championships and the World Women's Championship respectively in a 6-person intergender at Execution. Meaning, you guys win, then you're in a six-person tag with them. You guys win that, you two (points to Matt and Shane) are World Tag Champs, and you, Lita, are World Women's Champ. Get the point?" 

"I think we understand, Crash, but thanks for explaining, for a specific moron who might be too curious," Matt said, looking at Shannon, who automatically knew what was going on. 

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's not my fault you're always running away when Lita talks about demons!" Shannon countered, catching Matt off guard. 

"And it's not my fault you can't keep up the Mattitude!" Matt immediately yelled. 

"All right, all right, let's stop this," Shannon said. 

"Yeah, you two should stop, but this would make a great movie scene," Crash commented. 

"Well, this ain't a movie, okay?" Jeff immediately countered. "And nor are Matt and Shannon, or any of us here, okay, Mike. Now go on and get out of here. Call Bob and tell him how much you love him or how sorry you are that he got cut or something." 

"Man, get out of here," Crash immediately said, flicking his hand in their direction and walking away. 

"You know, Jeff, you could have used a little more respect," Matt immediately commented. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa," Jeff tried to excuse himself. "I'm not the one talking about movies here." 

"We were really sort of playing around, you know," Shannon said. "Besides, don't we like movies?" 

"Dunked!" Marissa exclaimed with a laugh from herself, Lita and Shane. Matt and Shannon soon joined in, and Jeff, who now had a DUNCE birthday hat on his head, threw it down and then laughed for himself. They soon stopped. 

"How did I let that happen to me?" Jeff wondered out loud. 

"Obviously, you only paid attention to Matt and Shannon," Lita clearly stated, "so therefore, you were a sitting duck." 

"I'm not a duck, okay, woman?" Jeff said. 

"Common from a daredevil who paints all over himself," Shane commented. 

"What is this, 'pick on Jeff Hardy day?'" Jeff asked. "Because if I knew, I'd gladly accept it." 

"All right, all right, let's stop playing around here, okay?" Matt immediately tried to get serious. "We really ought to be ordering some food right about now." 

5:32 PM: The H5 are back in two rooms, and they've just finished on their little eating time. Edge and Christian finally made it, but the other two are, quote Edge, 'still problems away from showing up.' 

"What could he be talking about?" Matt asked. 

"I'd rather not find out, but I'm not letting my friend just die out like this," Lita said. 

"You're right. We should go look for her," Jeff suggested. 

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Version One and company," Brock was heard from inside the door...they had forgotten to lock it and Brock hadn't knocked. 

"What do you want?" Matt asked. 

"Well, I just want to say congratulations on getting Bill Goldberg grounded to the plane," Brock said. 

"He's still stuck on it?" Matt asked. 

"Well, of course," Brock told him. "At least Vince gives him food." 

"Well, that's the only enjoyable part of being grounded to the Corporate Plane, other than the fact that with this new system, you can see how Vince operates with his plane and drivers," Matt stated. "But then again, Vince might give him food that he doesn't like to eat." 

"Well, that's a bad thing, thanks to your a**," Brock said. 

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, what was that?" Matt asked. 

"I said-" 

"Ah, shut it. I heard you," Matt cut him off. "I know you can give me an F5 right here anyitme you want, but you'll have to pay for the stuff. Besides, why do you care about Bill? With him out of the way, you're bound to win the title at Execution." 

"I want an honorable match like we scored at Judgment Day, okay?" Brock countered. "And you delayed tat by at most chances one month, now shut it." 

"You didn't even stand a chance against Goldberg," Jeff joked. 

"Didn't stand a chance, huh? Well, how about the way you and Bubba Ray lost to D-Von and Shannon Moore three nights ago, huh?" 

"Hey, hey, hey, D-Von cheated," Jeff tried to excuse himself. 

"I'd sure like to know why you want to destroy me so badly," Matt said. 

"Maybe it's because you stuck with Paul Heyman when we was being a bad old double crosser," Brock answered. "Or maybe it's-" 

"Because you like the thrill of making people feel the pain," Lita cut him off. "I know you, Brock, and I can smell it. You, or somebody hired by you, probably attempted to intimidate Trish, and because of that, she and Jericho, who's trying to help her get through it, have been kept away from the hotel." 

"Well, very elaborate, but that won't help you against me," Brock said. 

"Oh, yeah? I'm not as easily scared, Lesnar, and if you think that I'm going to let myself wither and die in fear like Trish might do if somebody doesn't help her, then you're sadly mistaken. I trust in this man, and in my friends. Jeff's right. You didn't even stop Bill Goldberg from roaring in victory. At least you put up a great fight, though," Lita boldly countered. 

"Oh, yeah, one more thing," Brock said. "It wasn't me who did it. It was my new friend. He told me of this joke, and I thought it would be interesting. Then, I kept thinking, and I tried to stop him, but he went ahead with this. You know who he is?" 

"Um, Frank Penetra?" Jeff asked. 

"Whoever the hell that is-" 

"Just my imagination, I have no clue," Jeff cut him. 

"Anyway, whoever the hell that is, I actually have two new friends. The one who went through with this is Palumbo," Brock said. 

"Chuck Palumbo?" Matt asked. 

"Yes. Chuck Palumbo." 

"You doing anything about this?" 

"There's nothing I can do but to help Trish out. I told Randy to go ahead-" 

"Where are they?" Lita demanded. 

"If my luck serves me right, they were right outside when this happened," Brock said. 

About a few minutes later, they saw Orton, Trish and Jericho, but not in the expected way, although yes, in another portion of the expected location. The young stud with the once-ailing shoulder should have known better than to operate the way he did, because it was obviously so not street night. Apparently, he was favoring his cheek, Trish was ruthlessly going after him, and Chris was holding her back. 

"Think he tried to seduce her?" Matt asked. 

"I say so," Lita said. "He thinks he's such a stud." 

"That is not the way to help a woman out," Brock said. "I'll go get Chuck." 

'Bout a few minutes later, Orton was recovering, Jericho was losing his ground, Brock came out with Palumbo, Edge and Christian. 

"What's going on here?" Edge asked. 

"You tried to kiss me, you little stab!" Trish was yelling furiously while attempting to break free and swing at Orton. 

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down," Chuck yelled. 

Trish stopped, looked and fell to her knees. 

"I thought that this could make for an interesting situation," Chuck said. "I knew you'd be scared by me. I wanted to know how you'd act towards my teammates after just being scared by me. Apparently, it's more serious on you than I thought it would be. Sorry about that, Trish." 

"Well, well, well, it looks like somebody's learned their lesson," Trish said at a rise. She then walked over to him calmly, then gave him a kiss...and when it was over, she slapped him hard on the cheek and laughed along with the rest of the Red Brood. Brock, his gang and the H5 members left back into the hotel after them. 

About a few minutes later in the Red Brood locker room... 

"That was a setup, Stratusfaction Guaranteed," Trish laughed. 

"Yeah, that was great. The man was dunked," Chris also laughed. 

"Yeah, well if you guys think that's funny, look at Christian," Edge said, pointing to Christian, who was still already laughing like crazy and dropping himself all over the floor." 

"Damnit, kid, when are you going to stop acting like a little baby?" Jericho asked, before bursting into a pile of laughter himself...except he didn't move anything but his funny bones. Edge looked at Trish. They could only smirk. 

"Actually, we've got two little babies on our hands," Trish said. 

"I like you," Edge laughed. Trish also laughed, but while thinking humorously, she was also thinking curiously: did he mean that? 

"Are you serious?" she asked once the two of them stopped laughing, unlike the little babies. 

"In one sense, yeah. In another, no." 

With that, she gasped...a gasp of hope. 

The serious sense is what counts to me, she thought. But for now, I'll enjoy the moment. 

8:13 PM, during SmackDown: The Live for the Moment theme came up, and out they came. Matt Hardy, Shane McMahon, and Lita. No Mattitude connection, no Matt Facts, no nothing. They just came out and showed themselves off. Matt in the V1 shirt and purple/gold Matt Pants, Shane in the Lions Shane-O-Mac shortsleever and black pants, and Lita in, of course, the Version Hearts top and greenish teal/gold Matt Pants, seeing as how she loves that so much. Then came the Three Minutes theme, and out Rico comes with the red shirt and leaopard pants. He presents Jamal in a white loose buttoned shirt with 350 on it in dark blue, and Rosey in a black shirt (both short-sleeved) with 350 in gold, and both of them join that with black long shorts. But, who else came? A black tied top and black long tights came with the face and skin of Jacqueline. Apparently, Jacqueline was the three minute woman Rico, reported by Crash, was talking about! Oh, yeah, I almost forgot to mention: Marissa came out in her brand new LiveWire design shirt - she forgot the colors of DX at the time, because she's got 'em, allthough she doesn't have and Xes - and a black pair of pants. When Jamal and Rosey came up on the apron, Rico called Marissa over to him and, in the most heinous of actions, he choked her up the ramp. Jamal and Rosey came down, obviously anticipating Shane's interference, because through and out he comes, attempting to charge at Rico, who sees and throws Marissa down. He charges towards Shane and that's when Jamal and Rosey let him go. The McMahon suffers a clothesline. However, the match never really got started, because the Three Minute Warning members never got into the ring, and the bell never rang. Jamal picked Shane up and threw him over the guardrail. Trapped down within fans' reach, he was basically driven out of the equation. Rico came from behind and delivered that spinning kick. Matt was clocked out...and out of the ring. Jacqueline suddenly gave Lita a hard kick to the face. Lita had been too budy watching the three minute carnage. Now, Jamal and Rosey got in and got to the apron. The match was startable. Jacqueline got the cover. 1, 2, 3. The Three Minutes theme went on again, and the four members of Three Minute Warning celebrated. 

Be warned that this next event that I will post up is not something that happens to the H5, but it is something that you will consider quite important for two reasons. 1: Crash told the H5 about this, and 2: it involves 3MW. 

8:52 PM: Crash's theme comes on, and he comes out in his red namebrand semishort tights. Next comes the Boss Man theme, and Ray comes out in the black policeman's outfit with the night stick...he actually does some cool moves with it, and he pumps himself up by banging it onto the stairs and dropping it there. However, his theme ends earlier than he expected, because out those three come again. Jamal, Rosey and Rico, the men of Three Minute Warning. Same outfits as before, they come in, threaten and order Ray o8ut of the way, and then, they kick Crash's butt and take his name. First comes the spinning kick from Rico. Then, Jamal picks Crash up and then Irishwhips him straight into a powerful samoan drop from Rosey. Then, Jamal steps on Crash as he walks to the top rope for his Three Minute Splash. Unfortunately, right when he gets off the ground, he's knocked down by the surprise of a specific sound of music, and the words, "How do you like me now?" playung upon the board. Hardcore Holly is back! He comes in a pair of blue jeans. Hardcore immediately punches Rico a few times, knocking him down. He then sets him up into an Alabama Slam and performs it before getting dunked into trouble from Jamal and Rosey. Suddenly, a "whoo!" is heard, and out comes Ric Flair in a white short-sleeve ordinary shirt and a pair of pants from a suit. He helps the Holly Cousins to their feet. 3MW is respectful, so Rico comes up to him and shakes hands with him before being tripped and set up into a Figure Four Leg Lock, and the Hollys are cleaning house on Jamal and Rosey. Jacqueline runs out in the same old outfit as in the match as well, and she slides into the ring quickly to attempt an attack at Crash. However, he blocks her clothesline, lifts her up, drops her down, and she's in a bit of pain on her feet, so she has to move a bit, but she's suddenly facing the same way and in the same place as before. Crash takes advantage of a chance to embarrass her by kissing her quickly! She tries to slap him, but she gets blocked. At that point, she gets tripped and set up: it's about time she took a Crash Landing! Crash spits at her, and then he shakes hands with his cousin and hugs him, and then, he goes down and gets a mic and throws it to Hardcore. 

"Well, my neck was recovered last time I showed, but only what I thought was well enough for me to compete. Now, with a little break, I'm at 100 percent, and ready to go. The dsc is not ruptured at all anymore, and I told Vince. He let me show up tonight and I signed a brand new contract. Ladies and gentlemen, Hardcore Holly is back!" 

His theme goes up again, and the Holly Cousins leave out. Meantime, Flair's still got Rico: his friends are unloyally afraid of getting in the way. Ric lets go. 

9:32 PM: Flair is sighted in Vince McMahon's office. 

"Well, you sure sparked it," Vince said. 

"Right, and I know exactly how to take care of people who try to conduct disorder," Flair said. 

"Which is why you're my new penalizer of disorder," Vince answered. 

"All right," Flair agreed, both laughing and shaking hands. 

Chapter over. Here comes _Chapter 33: Three Minute Rematch_. No, wait, hold on a sec... 

Great show, isn't it? Well, you people need to hand me a couple of reviews before I go MAD!!! Uh, not really, but I feel as though my story has been intentionally ignored by most people around here... 


	33. Three Minute Rematch

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 33: Three Minute Rematch**

Well, for one thing, my update time's gotten worse than ever, although I do expect it to get better soon. On notice, just so you people know, no Opposidious match results that have been forgotten will be revealed. However, you will get clued on it, because I'm updating the records. 

Jeff Hardy 0, Shannon Moore 1   
Bubba Ray Dudley 0, D-Von Dudley 1   
Chris Jericho 1, Edge 0   
Jamie Noble 1, John Cena 1   
Essa Rios 0, Triple H 1   
Taka Michinoku 0, Sho Funaki 1   
Scott Hall 0, Raven 2   
Kane 1, The Hurricane 0   
The Rock 0, Ken Shamrock 1   
Shawn Michaels 0, Kevin Nash 1 

Monday, June 9th, 2003   
Pontiac Silverdome in Detroit, MI 

2:32 PM: Well, for one thing, last night after HEAT took place, Vince had decided to tell everyone that they could all go ahead and use real names instead of WWE names in the hotels, during break times, etc. But when it was show time, they were going to use character names. However, I'm still using char names unless in speaking parts. Meantime, the H5 decided to switch the system around a little bit and let Jeff, Lita and Shannon go into one room while Matt was with the McMahon couple in the room to their right next door. Oh, yeah, and there will be a rematch of this past SmackDown's match for the #1 contender's spot for those three precious belts. And since Jamal has a contendership for a title, he's been removed from the Rumble and is leaving room for...who other than Hardcore Holly, the toughest man in WWE over 200 pounds? 

"What are we doing?" Matt asked. Oh, yeah, as for those who use real names as character names, what the hell do they have to worry about? 

"We're sitting around, being bored, doing nothing, wondering if there will be an opposidious match tonight, and destroying the world we stepped on yesterday," Shane joked. Marissa giggled about it a little bit, but Matt was indifferent and confused: he didn't get it. 

Suddenly, there comes a knock on the door. 

"Come in," Matt invites whoever's there. Turns out it's Edge. 

"Hey, Adam," Shane acknowledged. 

"Hey," Edge said. 

"How's it hanging?" Matt asked. 

"Pretty much okay," Edge answered. "How about you guys?" 

"We're getting good, except for the fact that I still want a bit of revenge for what those guys pulled on us this past Thursday night," Shane explained. 

"Well, you're not the only ones who are having a bit of trouble," Edge explained. "Both Chris and I are going to be in that battle royal, and Jsy's got a title to take." 

"And what the hell is wrong with that?" Matt asked. 

"Not much, except I want to drop out of that rumble and actually make a confession to Trish instead," Edge said. 

"What are you talking about? You already told her you liked her, right?" Chris suddenly came up saying. 

"Well, isn't it nice of you to join our little party," Matt welcomed him. 

"And besides, you're not even in the battle royal," Chris continued talking to Edge. "If I remember correctly, I didn't hear 'Edge' or 'Adam Copeland' come out of Bischoff's mouth when he was introducing the people who would be in the rumble." 

"Oh, yeah, I forgot," Edge remembered. "I just thought I was good enough to be in there. I don't think I remembered anything saying I wasn't in it." 

"Bottom line is, you can do whatever you want," Chris told him. 

"I remember Amy telling me Ken told her to follow her heart. Wait a minute, I can't remember if we were actually there," Matt said. 

"I don't think we were," Shane told him. 

"Oh, well. That case was a long time ago. No need to worry about it anymore," Matt shrugged it off. 

"So, how are you, Marissa?" Edge asked. 

"Well, for one thing, Adam, I'm not in shape to wrestle, as I never am," Marissa says in a giggle. However, she continues seriously. "To be quite frank and serious with you, it took a few hours since then to get back to my normal breathing. But I sure hope Rico pays for what he did back then." 

"Hey, guys," Jeff burst in from the other room. "I got an idea about Rico and his goons that could mean we get that major title shot. Don't worry, I'm speaking as if the whole team gets this rather than the three of you. Anyway, Matt, Shane, Marissa, come with me. Amy and I need to get the plan off to the entire team." 

"Excuse us a second, please," Matt requests from the Brooders as he passes. 

"I think we should come along," Christian suddenly recommended from nowhere. 

"Good idea," Edge agreed. 

"Yeah, you guys can come if you want to," Shannon invited them in as he walked out of the left room of the H5. Trish and Christian were right there in a nearby hiding spot the whole time. Christian had come out to talk, but Trish stayed there until she saw everyone leaving. She decided to catch up to Shannon and Christian, who were talking in the back of the pile, and then walk at a normal pace. Anyway, getting on with it (which I've been talking about a lot lately) you can just say that they were all led outside the arena by Lita and Jeff. 

"Well, here we go," Lita started. "The bottom line is this. We have to defeat those Three Minute goons in order to get a shot at the World Tag Team and Women's Championships, Matt, Shane and I. But the bottom line is this: if we don't come up with a plan, they'll simply have the playing field tilted to as to make us fall off. Anyway, what I'm trying to do right now is prevent them from doing that, because I know that we can defeat them if it's fair and square. Anyway, Shannon, go to the arena, find Mr. McMahon and ask him to ban everyone from ringside." 

"I'm on it," Shannon said as he left to do the task. 

"Next," she continued, "Adam, Jeff, and Jay, get all the weapons under the ring and confiscate them. Last of all, when they get out of there, Chris, you, Trish and Marissa, keep an eye on them until it's match time and they get out. Immediately corner the room and keep an eye on Rico so he doesn't go anywhere until the match is over. Matt, Shane and I just go through with the match and beat those three." 

"#1: nobody'll be allowed to come out against us. #2: they can't use any weapons. #3: it's solid that Rico won't do anything," Jeff explained the steps. "Understood?" 

The others nodded or talked amongst themselves. 

Meantime, when they all got back in, Shannon was already waiting on the wall between the two H5 rooms. 

"McMahon has done as we requested before it was even a request," Shannon announced. 

"Well, all we have to do now is wait until it's ring time," Edge said. 

"That's right," Lita confirmed. 

"Just shut up," Christian commanded...well, whoever he commanded, because we've got absolutely no clue. 

"Well, the number one thing to do about it is to go through with that little plan of ours, because if we don't, we know they can easily try to get-" 

"What the hell have we been talking about all this time!?" Jeff scolded Edge. 

"It's common sense you're ready to lose it," Edge said. "Calm down, will you, buddy?" 

"I won't calm down until I find out that the plan succeeds and these number one contender's spots go to the right preople, which are Matt, Shane and Amy," Jeff immediately counters. "And I'm talking about our Matt, not that samoan jerk Matt Anoia, who turns out to be Rosey." 

"We don't want to confuse Matts or Eddies, so we might as well call them Jamal and Rosey all the time," Lita pointed out. 

"Not every Matt is as exceptional as Version One," Matt boasted. 

"I see the united groups of the WWE are here," Shawn suddenly said out of nowhere in a chuckle. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Matt asked. 

"Nothing much," Shawn said. "Just decided to talk a little bit of a walk. To be serious, I need to talk to you for a little bit. It's about your girlfriend. Don't call her over. Just come with me." 

Shawn leads Matt away from the two groups. 

"What's wrong with Amy?" Matt asked once Shawn stopped. 

"Well, for one thing, just pay attention to this: she's going to be teaming up with me against Torrie and Kidman this coming Thursday night on SmackDown. I'm asking you if you can let me use the Mattitude Connection, come out with us to my theme and have a little fun before they come and get ready for battle. Besides, rumors are, those two are joining the Kaientai. But that's just rumors, I can't force myself to believe it. Oh, yeah, one more thing: she's got a brand new theme she'll activate later." 

"Who?" Matt asked. 

"Ames," Shawn told him. 

"Thanks," Matt said. "Anyway, when we're off cams, do you like being called Michael Hickenbottom or Shawn Michaels?" Matt asked. 

"Actually, I like my middle and last name being used," Shawn told him. "Shawn Hickenbottom." 

"That's cool," Matt commented. "It looks like V1 and HBK are going to have a good week." 

"Unlike last week," Shawn reminded him. "I saw what Rico and his people pulled on you." 

"Yeah, but the bottom line is this: Amy and Jeff came up with a little bit of a plan, and its execution has already gotten step one up on the bat..and good, too." 

"Well, I wish you luck in your rematch," Shawn wished him. 

"How'd you hear of it?" Matt asked. 

"Word gets around quickly among WWE employees, and when it comes to rumors, you never know who's going to get it or when, let alone whether or not this person is even in this company," Shawn laughed. 

"That was half-kidding, half-serious, wasn't it, Shawn?" Matt asked. 

"Of course it was," Shawn said. "What are you? An idiot?" 

"No, I am the 28-year-old founder of Mattitude," Matt answered. 

"And I'm the Heartbreak Kid, the Showstopper, the Headliner of Highlights," Shawn said on his own behalf. 

"That all?" Matt asked. 

"What do you mean?" Shawn needed to know. 

"I mean, is the whole thing with Amy the only reason you needed to talk to me," Matt explained. 

"Pretty much, but I liked the joking around," Shawn told him. 

"I think I've finally found a way to enjoy myself," Matt laughed. 

"Don't even worry about it, kid," Shawn said. "Anyway, I'll talk to you later." 

"Okay," Matt welcomed the thought as they shook hands. Matt started to go to his place, but Shawn called back. 

"Hey, Matt, I forgot something!" 

"What?" he asked, coming back to the Heartbreak Kid. 

"Rumor has it Heyman's been talking to my kid," Shawn said. 

"Your son?" Matt asked. 

"No, not him, I mean that other guy, my graduate protege, American Dragon," Shawn reminded him. 

"Oh, yeah," Matt said. "He's got potential. I kind of felt sorry for him after he got cut and all, but it looks as though he's going to try to push himself up into the ranks so as to _stay_ in this time. So, you and Kevin are opposidious tonight?" 

"Yeah, I've got to team with Raven while he opposes me with an old buddy," Shawn said. 

"Let me guess: Scott Hall, the Bad Guy, nWo," Matt immediately guessed. 

"Yeah," Shawn confirmed. 

"You will not win this one," Matt said. 

"You don't quite remember that Scott Hall has had the two partners he just can't get along with, and I can easily take this win if the two old nWo buddies show some dissention," Shawn reminded Matt. 

"Hey, Matt! Come on!" Jeff called from just outside one of the H5 room doors. 

"Looks like your buddies need you," Shawn said. "Meantime, later. Okay, kid?" 

"Yeah," Matt agreed. They shook hands again before going opposite ways. 

"So, how'd it go with Shawn?" Jeff asked as soon as he got back. 

"Not bad at all," Matt simply said. 

"That's good to know," Jeff responded. 

"He's not a bad guy, uoi know," Matt reminded him. 

"That's still good to know," Jeff countered. 

"I know, I know, I'm just feeling fun right now," Matt explained. 

"Well, don't victimize me with your fun, take...Amy," Jeff smirked. 

"Shut up," Matt immediately ordered. 

"What was that about me?" Lita asked. 

"He's taking his little giddiness out on me, and I want you to endure the pain instead," Jeff said. 

"Let me change the line from 'one man's trash is another man's treasure' to 'one brother's pain is a girlfriend's pleasure'," Lita suggested for humor. 

"You know, that actually cracked me up a little bit," Matt said. 

"Well, I'm no Mattitude Follower, but I know it'll take the success of the entire scheme in order to get these shots," Shane said. "I feel like we're having an adventure." 

7:43 PM: Everyone was in the arena, the stands were packed, there were fans walking around everywhere. From MFers to Maniacs to just crazy fanatics, we had a load on all the seats at the Pontiac Silverdome, the home of the Detroit Lions. But if there's one person who's not welcome on his return to Detroit, it's probably Scott Steiner, or Eric Bischoff. Anyway, the H5 are in their designated locker room for a few hours, and going on with the designated name rules from McMahon, they went on, Lita being called by exactly that rather than Amy Dumas. Jeff, along with the most success-prolific tag team among the Red Brood, have been assigned to do their task of intaking all weapons under the ring to the H5 locker room. 

"I hope you don't hate me about Michaels," Lita told Matt. 

"Don't even worry about it," Matt replied. "What could ever make me hate you other than being cheated on?" 

"That's not close to happening," Lita assured him. 

"I can't hate you," Matt said matter-of-factly before getting an incredulous stare from Shane and Shannon. 

"What?" Matt asked. 

"That's the most obvious fact I've ever heard, you idiot," Shannon said. 

"You are easy, Matt," Shane picked on him. 

"Much easier than getting the job done," Edge complained as he, Jeff and Christian just got back carrying the last of the objects into the H5 room in order to keep Rico's ways completely out of the reach. 

8:23 PM, during RAW: The Three Minutes theme went on, and out came Jamal and Rosey. Jamal in the black/gold 350 and black shorts, Rosey in a white/pale blue buttoned 350 and black shorts again, and Jacqueline in a red tied top and black long tights, not along with Rico's red-shirted, black-leather-panted martial style backside. But not because of Jericho and those two girls keeping an eye on him, but more importantly because Michaels gave him some Sweet Chin Music to make the job much easier as he was beginning to go with them and break the ringside article. But then came the Mattitude Connection. Oh, yeah, since Matt added this new feature that changes the "Search for" and "Enter keyword" themes based on who's using them, I'll have to tell which is used. 

Search for:   
matt hardy 

Enter keyword:   
version 1.0 

The Connection did not fail, of course. And the Live for the Moment entrance theme came up, and out came Matt in the old Phoenix/greenish NC outfit, Shane in a Raiders Shane-O and black pants, and Lita still in her gloative outfit of Mattitude, the Version Hearts top and the midnight green/gold Matt Pants. Matt Facts about the Extreme trio: 

MATT USED   
TO RIDE   
MOTOR   
BIKES   
FOR FUN. 

and 

LITA IS   
CREDITED   
BY TRISH   
FOR   
GOOD   
ADVICE. 

Lita called Jacqueline to her, and they shook hands. But before they let go, Jacqueline tried to slap Lita to get the upper hand. However, the redhead's left hand blocked that of her opponent's and struck the cheek for good measure! Lita began to stomp all over Jacqueline, but only to get her out of the ring. Jacqueline didn't even get a chance to get up before Lita slingshot herself over the ropes right on top of Jacqueline's back on the outside. Of course, with that done, she decided to bring Jackie into the ring and give Jamal a cheap shot...or should I say a cheap dropkick which knocks him to the ground outside, flat on his backside. And he's not feeling good, relaxed, whatever. He feels like busting in and destroying Lita. However, Jacqueline is beginning to take care of that. She just dropkicked her, now she's on top of her laying hard punches. Of course, Robinson counted the DQ count. 1, 2, and since Jackie's been a fair woman her whole career, so to speak, she decides to undo it quickly. Jackie gets up, waits for Lita to get up, and gives her a swinging neck breaker. She goes over to Jamal and Rosey's corner, jumps on the turnbuckle, and Jamal pushes her, hand on backside, right into and over Lita. Counts as a cover because the Fireshell's shoulders are down. 1, 2, and she barely kicked out due to the surprise element. Lita was about to get up, and Jacqueline ran to the ropes away from her back. When Lita got up came a move I like to call the flipmode neck breaker. A 270° flip and an neckbreaker make the move. She hooks Lita's leg after that and gets the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Jackie throws Lita out of the ring and tags in the now-arisen Jamal, pointing to the turnbuckle nearest to Lita, right across from the apron corner of the 3M trio. He then goes up the ropes and goes for the Three Minute Splash. However, the ex-Samoan Gangsta (used to be these two guys' tag name once in a while) never anticipated Matt and Shane pulling the precious Lita out of harm's way, and he ended up falling on hard, covert concrete. Matt took advantage, got up to the apron and came down and legdropped his neck. Now, he was punching the back of Jamal's head for a while. When he stopped, he brought Lita into the ring, slid in to get her up and told Shane to hold Jamal up in case he rose. What he didn't count on was Rosey, however. The 415-pounder from the Island of Samoa rushed into the ring and, although this took a lot out of Matt Hardy, received a Side Effect for his efforts. Matt continued checking on Lita, but they forget that Texan three minute sneak Jackie, who double-axed Matt on his back, taking him down a little bit. She then began to stomp on him. However, it was womanly, so it didn't really have as much impact as if it were that of a man, like Shannon. Jacqueline knew that, but risks and shots are always to be taken at times like this, even by the negative people. Anyway, getting onto business, soon Matt got up and shoved Jackie off, and so did Jamal bypass Shane by shoving him over once he finally got up. Rosey came into the ring as well, and now, Shane helped Matt get himself and Lita out of the ring and harm's way, because all Three Minute people were coming for them. Lita soon stood and moved on her own and Matt and Shane could let go of her. I hear 10 to 20 Mattitude Mockers in tth stands chanting "Lita Sucks", and one of them just happens to be Crimson Coin. Well, for all the girls among them, let me tell you this: Lita gets more boys screaming for her and saying they want to marry her in one damn week than y'all get in a lifetime, and don't think I'll help you out by giving you one, either! Anyway, enough of the golden humor. Anyway, getting back to business, the three Extreme ones prepared to get back into the ring when Look So Good to Me came on and out came that very Rico, yelling that he got through the ban, but his theme was cut shorter than he expected by what seemed like another Mattitude Connection. 

Search for:   
shawn michaels 

Enter keyword:   
hbk 

10%...30%...connection canceled at 70%. 

The screen goes back to normal at...what else? The Sexy Boy entrance theme. 

Michaels, with the white sleeveless shirt and tucked into black-belted blue jeans, immediately calls Rico's name and punches him down. Rico's crawling down the ramp, and he gets on his feet...only to get touched by Sweet Chin Music and then to be dragged out by Michaels. Raymond's making sure that Shawn gets Rico out of there and they both stay out. That being done, Jamal, Rosey, and Jacqueline protest against Traylor and Michaels, while the Extreme ones go around the ring, come in from behind and dropkick them over the ropes outside the ring. That being done, the Extreme team gets outside where the Three Minute team is knocked down, Matt and Shane only stomp on Jamal and Rosey to make sure they don't make a move, and Lita brings Jacqueline into the ring and goes off with a Twist of Fate. She then goes up to the top rope and fires a moonsault landing right on Jackie. Hooks the leg. 1, 2, 3! 

Instead of any of the entrance themes of the three winners, Extreme Impressions goes on and out comes Jeff in his Imagination picture shirt and black NC pants. Instead of doing his little dramatic entry at the top of the ramp, he immediately ran over to his friends and helped them to the back as a congratulatory gesture. Right after they left, however, the brand new theme of Dudleyville, Drop the Bombshell, got on and all four of them came out. Bubba was in the black/blue Dudleyville 3D Bomb shirt and red/black/white Dudleyville navy short pants, D-Von in the Testify shirt and purple/black/white Dudleyville navy pants, Spike in a Pound 4 Pound shirt and light green/brown/white Dudleyville navy pants and Stacy in a Dudley Boyz top from her old Duchess days and a gray/black/white Dudleyville navy skirt. Stacy slapped Jacqueline, picked her head up and gave her that spinning heel kick while the Dudleyz put Jamal and Rosey into the ring. Spike Dudley Dogged Jamal, while his bigger Dudley brothers 3Ded Rosey. Bubba pushed D-Von and screamed his name. D-Von pushed Spike and screamed his name. Spike pushed Bubba and screamed his name. They each screamed out at each other to "GET THE TABLES!!!" as the crowd repeated with them in response. Each Dudley got a table. Stacy was told to bring Jackie into the ring, and that she did. After all three tables were set up, Bubba told Stacy to sit on the top rope corner post. She did that, and he threw Jacqueline on her. Stacy, of course, pushed Jackie off instead of catching her and crashed her through the table. Spike Dudley Dogged Jamal again, and Rosey felt the Dudley Death Drop once again...both Three Minute giants falling right through the tables! 

10:41 PM: It was reported that earlier tonight, Rico had gotten arrested on charges of assault and anti-loyal action against the company. Raymond was quoted on saying on several mics, "He was supposed to come here tonight, but he called and said Rico bloodied him and he's at a hospital. He won't be able to show up until next week." When asked who he was, none of the Corporate Office members answered in any way, whether it be speaking or getting out a contract or even showing that person's handwriting. They specifically shook their heads, saying that they did not wish to report it. 

In the meantime, the H5 Team Extreme and the Red Brood are having a little celebration out in town along with Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash. Of course, Kevin was let come along, although he wasn't among the people who helped out with the act with Matt, Shane and Lita taking those #1 Contender's spots out of the Three Minute camp. Right, now, us good guys are at a bar. 

"It's just like you said, Shawn," Matt provally agreed...I think that's my own word. "We are going to have a fun week this week." 

"Oh, yeah!" Shawn exclaimed. 

"So, how's your wife doing?" Matt asked. 

"Bad question at a time like this, but she's doing fine as always," Shawn answered. "How's your girlfriend?" 

"Dude, you know she's right over there dancing with Jeff," Matt said with some kind of a weird echo who turned out to be Edge grinning from behind. 

"And your girlfriend's over there dancing with Christian," Michaels pointed out. Of course, since the two who were messing with their girlfriends, so to speak, were not threats to the relationships (Trish and Edge just got into one a little bit), they just decided to shrug and laugh it off as Michaels ordered for a Martini and Nash added another for himself into the order. 

Back at the Silverdome, the I'm Back theme went on as the former GM of this show, Eric Bischoff, came out in biker jacket, black shirt and blue jeans with his microphone and smile and all sorts of different responses. 

"Now, listen, the opposidious series has been declared 'no longer necessary' by Mr. McMahon and therefore has been canceled out," Eric started. "And for another thing, based on what happened tonight, I've decided on making an intergender eight-person tag team match for Execution. Listen to this: the Department of Dudleyville vs. Three Minute Warning!" 

I'm Back went on again, and Bischoff walked off with great big smile on his face. 

It's party time, because there is an extreme chance that there could be three championships into the H5 stable. 

Check out _Chapter 34: A Fighting Champion's Wager_. 


	34. A Fighting Champion's Wager

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 34: A Fighting Champion's Wager**

Key figure: I'm trying to get back on track, and how! I'm telling you, it was such a long time since I updated this story until when I posted Chapter 33 back on Thursday. Anyway, enough thinking on personal tracks and/or levels, it's about time I tried to smack down the law tonight. So, let's go ahead and get on with the story! No, wait a sec...now, in all thought sections, real names are used. 

Thursday, June 12th, 2003   
Gaylord Entertertainment Center in Nashville, TN 

1:31 PM: The nearest hotel to Gaylord has been filled with WWE, of course. Matt was talking outside the two H5 rooms with Edge and Shawn about something. Want to know what it is? Well, check out a little bit of the talk itself. 

"I've got a feeling that something's not right here," Edge suspiced. 

"What are you talking about?" Shawn asked. 

"Torrie and Pete are supposed to be good guys, playing fair, by the rules, and not cheating," Edge explained. "And, here they are, willingly asking for an intergender tag against Amy and Shawn, two people they know they cannot beat." 

"He told me yesterday that he'd be honored to wrestle against me, but I remember people ricoing their friends, heroes and role models that easily," Shawn said. "The bottom line is, we'd better keep our eyes peeled for anything that happens." 

"My guess is they play it out with everything they've got," Matt guessed. 

"That might be enough on Amy, but as for me, go ahead and give me 300 percent and I'll still manage to come out on top," Shawn boasted. 

"There's that flaring temper again," Edge groaned. 

"Adam," Matt said, "don't worry about it. I've got everything under control. You and I should both come out with Ames and Shawn in order to keep an eye on things. But we better not keep up this worrying as a habit, because there's nothing to frown about in Mattitude." 

"How about Mattitude itself?" Edge challenged. 

"Hey, I resent that!" Matt complained. 

"Resent it as much as you want, because it's true," Edge responded nonchalantly. 

"Hardy har har," Jeff and Lita came out in disgust at the insults as they stared at Edge hoarsely. 

"What?" he asked, confusion playing on his face. 

"These people don't like it when Matt is disrespected," Shawn explained. 

"Oh. Well, you know I joke around a lot, right?" Edge tried to get himself out of a bind...but then again, he _was_ kidding around, just as he said. 

"All right," Jeff excused it as he and Lita dropped the stare. "I guess we'll excuse it for now, but if you keep on like this, I'll personally give you a Twist of Fate." 

"So you're not my friends anymore?" Edge wanted to know. 

"Of course we are," Lita told him. "How could you think that?" 

"I'm just saying, because you people are trying to threaten me," Edge explained. "Oh, yeah, one more thing." 

"What?" Matt asked. 

Edge now took out a miniature radio-like object and played something on it. It was the "YOU SUCK!" chants that always come about to when Kurt Angle's theme comes up...those chants are the reason it's been named I Don't Suck. 

"All right, that's it," Jeff declared as he kicked Edge in the midsection and was about to give him a Twist of Fate when Edge lifted Jeff by backside and back off the move and over him, and neither man's hurt. 

"Enough is enough," Edge immediately stopped any thoughts of continuation. 

"Did you read the last edition of RAW Magazine yesterday?" Christian suddenly asked out of nowhere with a grin. "It was absolutely funny. I'm telling you, Adam. There was this section on us that said that you and I both pinned Trish and Chris counted the 1, 2, 3 once on the plane!" 

"That lame joke?" Edge said. "You mean you actually told them to put it in?" 

"No, you idiot, I read it in there," Christian reminded him. "Remember? We ordered it? For all I know, if you didn't call it lame, I'd say you put it up for grabs. I know it's not Trish-" 

"Chris," Matt assumed. "Sometimes, I swear he'll do anything for laughs when the cams are not all over on us." 

"They're not," Christian said. "Which may very well explain that joke's very reason for being in there." 

"But why do you laugh at something so unfunny and ridiculous?" Edge asked. 

"It's funny because it's ridiculous, Adam," Christian answered. "Look into it." 

"What was that?" Edge demanded. 

"I said, look into it." 

"Dude...shut up." 

"Why are you telling me to shut up?" Christian asked. 

"You're purposely disrespecting me, but I won't cry and whimper about it," Edge explained. "Unlike some people who happen to be on this ship called 'If I Get Dissed, I Will Not Stay Here'." With that, he grinned at the original 3 Extreme. 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Matt immediately cut off anything that was to be said next. "We are not crybabies, okay?" 

"See what I mean?" Edge rapidly interfered with a smile and shrug. 

Matt simply sighed, and he noticed something. Instead of Shawn standing behind them, it was now Kevin. As in Kevin Nash. 

"Adam, I recommend you look behind you," Matt said. 

"I'm not falling for that one," Edge declined, thinking that this was a trick designed for Matt to give him a neck breaker from nowhere...although it was Shannon who had done it yesterday at that house, he thought it was Matt because he had spoken. But, either way, Lita tried her hand at telling Edge. 

"Adam, Kevin is standing behind you," Lita specifically said. 

"I still don't believe you." 

"Then you're an idiot, most likely," Kevin finally spoke. 

"What?" Edge shrieked as he turned around with wide eyes. 

"You're an idiot," Nash told him. 

"Kevin, don't even think about it," Edge told him. 

"I'm 42," Nash warned him. 

"Who cares?" Edge shrugged it off. 

"I'm warning you," Kevin made it clear. 

"All right, I'll stop. So, what's up?" Edge agreed. 

"Ah, I'm pretty much okay, but guess what I found out," Kevin prepared them for the announcement. 

"What?" Christian asked. 

"You know about Terri, right?" Kevin said. "You know, the boat who used to strut around and wrestle in a thong all the time. She's cut. Gone. No more. The company doesn't know what to do with her anymore. Besides, according to what I hear, they're bringing some "guns" back in. So, Terri's gone." 

"Oh," Matt said. "How'd you find out?" 

"I saw that she was talking to Vince about something outside this morning when Shawn and I just showed up. We stopped to try to find out what was going on. We didn't want to feel like spies, though, so we decided to just wait until they were done. She turns around and begins to head for the Corp. Plane, which is just outside the hotel. I stop her and ask her what's wrong, and she suddenly shows us a termination notice. Shawn apologized for the unfortunate outcome and wished her good luck in her future," Nash explained. 

"I feel sorry for her," Jeff decided to intervene. "I mean, she found nothing to do but enjoy the company of others lately, and now even that's by the wayside." 

"Why don't you go tell her that and go out on a date?" Shannon challenged from inside one of the H5 rooms, obviously overhearing the conversation. 

"Hey, hey, hey," Jeff immediately objected. 

"Shut up," Kevin warned him. "Besides, Matt, call Shane and Amy here, please?" 

"Amy, Shane!" Jeff called. 

"What?" they both replied. 

"Kevin over here needs to talk to you a sec. Come on!" Jeff answered. 

They both came outside the doors where the Hardyz, E&C, and Nash were. 

"Follow me," Kevin said. "I've got some people who want to talk to you about something." 

"Who?" Matt asked. 

"Don't ask me stupid questions, just _come on_!" Nash rushed to order. Matt, Shane and Lita followed him. Edge and Christian were about to do so like idiots, but there was one soul who was not an idiot, and that was the enigmatic Jeff Hardy. Anyway, getting off of those three and back onto the three following Nash, they were soon in the middle of the hall with Los Guerreros and Chyna, Latino Heat. 

"How can I help?" Matt asked. 

"You know what, ese?" Eddie started up. "What you need is a good old boost of Mattitude, ese. Because what you're about to hear is two things about Chavito here, holmes." 

"What are you talking about?" Lita asked, confused and disgusted. 

"Well, for one thing," Chyna explained, "he's changed his ring name from Lieutenant Loco to Loco Chavo. Yes, he's talked to Vince about it. For another, he's decided to wager something about the World Cruiserweight Championship he won a month ago. He's wagered that if you guys beat us at Execution, then not only do you guys get the three contested titles, but he will personally yield the World Cruiserweight Championship to the speedy little MFer, Shannon Moore." 

"Well, I guess that it's on," Matt said. "Good luck, you guys. Make sure you don't lose these belts before Execution and that we have a great match." 

"Thanks," said Chavo as he and Matt shook hands. 

"Mind if we had a little chat, Amy?" Chyna proposed. 

"No problem," Lita accepted. 

While Matt and Shane went their way and Los Guerreros went theirs, Lita and Chyna walked over to another part of the hall. 

"So, Joanie, what's on your mind?" Lita asked. 

"Well, I wanted to ask if you were available for a one-on-one, but I found out that you were teaming with Matt and Shawn in a match tonight." 

"Actually, Matt's only keeping watch to make sure everything's done fair and square," Lita corrected Chyna. "I'm teaming with Shawn against Torrie and Peter. Anyway, I wanted to know, since you're Eddie's ex-girlfriend and all, why exactly did you decide to come back with the Guerreros." 

"Well, for one thing, I enjoy Eddie's company, although not on that level anymore, and for another thing, they're both basically fun to be around outside the ring and very reliable in the ring," Chyna explained. "We're the most dimimutive group, and we pale in comparison to the nWo in numbers. But basically, we can be very well just as effective as all those other groups are as long as we work very well together." 

"Three point muggings aren't your style, though," Lita disputed. "You like to do one point muggings." 

"I know. But let me get to another piece of news. Mark tells me that he, Glen, Greg and Nora are going to make a name change for their group." 

"Changing the name again?" Lita asked. "I don't know how many times'll cut it." 

"Don't worry about that, Amy. What you need to worry about is finding out just how you're going to beat me. Seeing as how I'm the only ever female Intercontinental Champion," Chyna boasted. 

"I know that, but don't you think intimidation is a little bit outdated when it comes to winning agendas?" Lita asked. 

"Well, you have a point," Chyna admitted. "Oh, yeah, Jesse called yesterday and told me he was mugged by Rico." 

"He's the one JR was talking about?" Lita asked. "The one that got mugged by Rico that the office needed to make deals with? I thought he was cut after Backlash because Vince and Raymond found drugs in his bags." 

"He's completely cut the habit this time," Chyna informed. "I'm telling the truth. Paul, Eddie and I visit him every day." 

"You're a mullet, do you know that?" Lita joked. 

"I'm not even going to get into that," Chyna wisely rejected response other than a slight chuckle. 

"Wise choice," Lita commented. 

"You just don't want to get your butt kicked," Chyna tried her hand. 

"What was that?" Lita resented that statement. 

"Well, be quiet. Don't worry about it," Chyna excused that last statement. "Anyway, let me utilize my ability to remember things correctly here." With that came a little laughter between the two women before she continued. "If I remember correctly, Matt said he'd have Mattitude Connection data themes for every Superstar and Diva and every member of the office, right?" 

"He does," Lita told her before she could ask. 

"I see you know what I want to know," Chyna complimented. 

"Shut up." 

8:02 PM, starting SmackDown: The fireworks of the show start on, and then suddenly, on comes the Mattitude Connection as Cole begins to announce that we are 10 days away from WWE Execution. Meantime, let's get on with the show, shall we? 

Search for:   
shawn michaels 

Enter keyword:   
hbk 

10...30.....70.......100%. 

The first edition of the HBK Facts, coming with the Showstopper's entrance theme Sexy Boy are: 

SHAWN IS   
MARRIED   
TO A   
FORMER   
NITRO   
GIRL. 

and 

SHAWN   
TAKES A   
FRIENDLY   
LIKING   
TO THE   
H5. 

Those being the most obvious facts anyone can come up with, I decided to start with them. I don't exactly know if I'll do any more of these with Shawn, but oh, well. At least he's on tonight, and he's coming out with those two. Being accompanied to the ring by Matt Hardy (key clue to the outfit) **Version 1.0**, there's the Showstopper, Shawn Michaels, in those red Degenerated Hearts tights he had worn against Austin at WrestleMania XIV on 3/29/98, and there's the Fireshell, Lita, in the Version Hearts top and the midnight green/gold Matt Pants. Once they reached the middle of the ramp: mini-split flex by Michaels, Version One hands in the air, and that redhead's arms around the Mattineck...not to mention the fireworks that came from the top of the ramp when this all happened. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about Torrie and Kidman, who come out to the man's theme. These two are quite the team. They were to be married, but they didn't quite feel like the people would get used to the idea of them being together as more than friends after never seeing them that way, so they decided, quote Kidman on an interview, "might as well keep low." Meantime, the outfits: Kidman wore those same old short tights, except the main tight color is black and the design itself is degenerate green, which brings some suspicion into the picture, unlike on Torrie's outfit, a regular black and pink top with pink beltless pants...or should I start calling them loose tights. 

Anyway, as Matt is watching out for all people and items able to interfere, Lita begins the match with Torrie Wilson. They get on with a little grapple. Torrie forces Lita to go two or three steps back before Lita swings her into the ropes, back first. Anyway, Lita hands Torrie a few chops, earning quite the "oh"s and even a few boos, who turn out to be huge supporters of the Golden Thong winner. Anyway, back on topic, the bottom line is that Lita irishwhips Torrie into the other ropes. The young belle from Boise, Idaho runs right into a hurracanrana. As if nobody was already suspicious, Kidman didn't take advantage of the fact that Lita was oblivious to his being there for the moment and attempt to attack her from behind. Whether it's out of respect and fairness, out of knowing he'd get a Twist of Fate or some Sweet Chin Music for it, or whether he's got another agenda he's trying to hide by it, he's letting Torrie take the moves as they're handed to her. An elbow, a push into the ropes, another irishwhip, and a dropkick to the knee. Torrie's next punishments in that exact order. Torrie decided to quickly roll up Lita into a small package cover as soon as she began to pick her up by the head. Referee Mike Sparks got a very near two count on Lita about that, but she managed to kick out of it anyway. Matt was watching this one carefully as always, and he just saw Torrie slap his girlfriend. Torrie now sets Lita down on the middle rope post, stands up to that one, and it's Frankensteiner time with a kiss blown to the fans in front and a littl bit of a dance to the fans in back prior to the snap. Sparks counted another two count as Torrie hooked Lita's leg. The redhead had her shoulders down on the ground as on every damn cover, damnit. Anyway, going off of that, Jeff decided to come out, picture shirt, black/silver Matt Pants and all. While he may have gotten cheers from the crowd and a little confusion from them and everyone before them at the ring area, they quickly got off of that when he stopped next to Matt at ringside. The two brothers were checking out the match, watcing for any suspiciouses and fishies. Now, Lita was beginning to get on fire. Recovering from a headlock applied by Torrie, Lita fired one elbow to the midsection. And another. And yet another, and she broke free. Lita stepped back to the ropes. Torrie swung at her for a clothesline when she came back, but she went to Torrie's right and ducked out of the way and came back from the other ropes to give her a neck breaker and quickly tag in the Showstopper, the Heartbreak Kid, the Main Event of All Time, Shawn Michaels! Of course, he waited until Torrie tagged in Billy before doing anything, and that she did. Kidman came up on the top rope and dropkicked the momentarily overexpectant Michaels. Kidman got the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Almost immediately, Shawn just sprang up out of nowhere and his feet were jumping and kicking up. He was impatiently roaring to go! Kidman was seemingly walking into Sweet Chin Music. He ducked as soon as he saw the beheading superkick head his way, and he dropkicked Michaels into position for what would be the 619 if only it was Rey Mysterio! Anyway, Michaels got up, turned around, saw Kidman and cut him off with a back toss to the outside. Kidman managed to land on his feet, and so he got to the apron: it was right where Matt and Jeff were, but still: Shawn tried to suplex him in, and you know what? Kidman got out of that behind Michaels and landed on his feet, and in the most uncalled for of actions, he actually fired a groin kick on the legendary Michaels! With that, Matt and Jeff shot up and told Sparks to hold it a second. Matt and Jeff both yelled their objections at Kidman while the fans booed him. When they were done, Michaels was up, and Kidman had walked right into some Sweet Chin Music. With that, he got the cover on them, and it was Lita and Shawn who had won the match! The two...or should I say, four with the addition of the Hardyz, celebrated a little bit once the Sexy Boy theme came on, and there was a shoulder-arm link coming all over the place. From left to right the way they were going was Jeff to Lita to Shawn to Matt. Unfortunately they hadn't really gotten anywhere when Matt and Lita's link was lost. Looking under the ring, Triple H comes out and starts beating on Michaels. The original 3 Extreme see it, and back they come to help out the Heartbreak Kid, who's receiving a beating on the back of his head. Matt picked HHH up, turned him around and kicked him in the midsection, then finished off the combo with the Twist of Fate. Meantime, Jeff came down with a Swanton Bomb on HHH, and Lita tried to finish him off with a Moonsault, but Kidman pushed her off and sent her chin-first into the guardrail. The Shooting Star Kid was receiving boos from everyone in the stands. Torrie continued standing at the apron, shocked. Billy saw her and asked her to come into the ring. They he raised her hand up in the air. Torrie not about to give him the satisfaction of thinking that she was congratulatory about this, which she definitely was not, immediately yanked her hand down from his. With that, she clearly saw and figured. 

The degenerate green and black tights. Levesque coming to attack Shawn. The groin kick that he gave Shawn. I know what this means. Could it be...Pete's joining D-Generation X on me! 

Billy Kidman's real name is Peter Gruner, but right now, his name is D-Generation Shooting Star. HHH went to get a mic, and he got in the ring and spoke. 

"Well, you see, over the weekend, I spoke to this kid Billy Kidman and gave him the chance to join DX," HHH started. "And, obviously, he's accepted it, so let me tell you what we're gonna do. You people will be forced to witness as you all suck mine, and his, and the other four members of DX's, too!" 

"Wait a minute, Triple H," Torrie interrupted with smiles outside the ring. "I want to join DX, too." 

"Well, they'll suck yours-" 

"I will oh, so destroy you for this!" Kevin Nash suddenly came out. At that point, Torrie was in the ring along with Kidman and HHH. When the 329-pound beast wearing the short-sleeve nWo Wolfpac shirt and blue jeans came into the ring and attacked HHH, that's when Torrie decided to slap Kidman and turn on him with a hurracanrana. However, that wasn't the phaser point, because at the very next second came on the former theme of Hulk Hogan, Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco, and it's called Real American! Who owns it now? Who came out? Sporting that red, white and blue Dragon mask came out the one, the only, The American Dragon, Bryan Danielson, trained by Shawn Michaels! Coming to the aid of his trainer and his trainer's best friend, Dragon immediately rushed to the ring, threw Kidman out and slingshot himself over the rope for a major splash over the back of the Shooting Star Kid! Before anything happened, though, Torrie had that microphone again, and she decided to go ahead and speak. 

"All right, the bottom line is this. What D-Generation X is telling everyone to suck is something perverted, and I refuse to be a part of it! And another thing, I'd like to speak to the three of you. (Shawn had finally gotten into the ring and stood up, the Hardyz and Lita having left, thinking the job was done) Please follow me to the back. And, as for that Kidman _dork_ (major laughter and cheers), everything is _over_." 

With that, her entrance theme went on as the former Showstopper unit left for the back behind her. 

Later that night, it was revealed. The new name of The Undertaker's team turned out to be Punishers Inc. And, as for Torrie and the Showstopper unit, they've decided to make something that counters DX and the nWo. That something: the m-Wo, or Mega Wolf Order. Meantime, let's get on with this next coming Monday night on RAW as _Chapter 35: Homecoming Hardy Boyz_ is held at the former Beehive, the Charlotte Coliseum in Charlotte, North CaroLINA! 

P.S. Mattitude is true attitude, and don't you forget it anytime soon! 


	35. Homecoming Hardy Boyz

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 35: Homecoming Hardy Boyz**

Monday, June 16th, 2003   
Charlotte Coliseum in Charlotte, NC 

2:29 PM: Okay, so the Hardyz decided to get back home with the rest of the H5 and The Hurricane yesterday, and yes, their dad Gilbert was there. They had a lot of fun on their little return home, then when night came, they were on the road in a car Gil had bought for Matt and Jeff just a week ago. They stopped at an old friend's place where they went to sleep, and then, they continued on the road. They finally got back to the hotel the WWE was staying in that day, where their arrival was awaited outside the door by the Red Brood and The Undertaker. When they finally got to the door, with the car parked and their things in the bags, they had stopped becuse they saw everyone staring at them. 

"What are you guys doing outside?" Matt asked. 

"Don't even worry about that," Taker said. 

"Seriously, what's going on?" Jeff also wanted to know. 

"Sheesh, the impatients," Edge sighed. "Come on." 

"What?" 

"There's nothing going on, we pulled a suspice on you just like Sho did about two months ago," Christian said. "Before you question me, he told us about it. You guys coming in now?" 

"Yeah, and thanks for making us feel stupid," Matt grumbled. 

"Stop complaining, already, and come on," Chris countercomplained as they all came in. 

The H5 got into one of their hotel rooms and found sitting there...Rios and Crash sitting down. 

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Matt asked. 

"Well, number one, we're teaming with you against Howard, Rico and Cena tonight," Crash said. 

"I have to team with him?" Matt took a bit of objection to the idea of teaming with Rios. 

"Clearly, you don't know how hard it is to be me," Rios sighed. 

"What are you talking about? You're on a sort of invasion force, you've got a good friend and tag team partner-" 

"But I haven't forgotten what you had done to me three years ago," Rios cut Matt off. 

"Why do you want to team with me, then?" Matt asked. 

"Plain and simple. To see if I can work with you after that."   


"You won't." 

"You can't learn to trust anyone, can you?" 

"Well, obviously, we're going to be very cautious," Lita cut in. 

Immediately recognizing her voice, and for the first time in a long, long while, hearing her talk to him, Rios jumped his head up and looked at her. 

I never thought she'd speak to me again, he thought. 

"I know that look," Lita quickly said before he could say anything. She then came down to him before continuation. 

"I understand that you probably don't ever want to see Matt again, or that you didn't think we'd ever have words after what happened. But you need to understand that you had your chance. First of all, you party with Charles's ladies, and you don't know how to make me believe you when you say you're just partying around...or maybe it is that you were actually pervertedly acting up, I don't remember anymore, that was so long ago, but that makes me furious enough to screw you out of a tag match against Perry and Dean. Once we're done with that, things seem to be even, but when I got up on that apron, that was before Matt countered the irishwhip. I was trying to help you, damnit. Have you ever looked at the footage of that night? That match? That show? Have you ever watched it on tape? Apparently, you haven't, and you still blame me for that. But your anger clouded your judgment. That screwed you up because you don't know any English, and you had nobody to talk for you anymore." 

"In case you forgot, I know my English now," he cut her at that point. 

"Speaking of which, who taught you, anyway? You were terrible, even at Ohio Valley." 

"Eddie." 

"What?" 

"While he was out." 

"Oh." 

With that, she stood up out of position and he stood off the chair. 

"Well, it seems as though we have a deal," Rios decided, extending his hand towards Matt. The founder of Mattitude accepted with the handshake, and this looks NOT to be a long night. 

4:15 PM: Matt is not in trouble tonight. It looks as though Lita's words got through to Rios. Oh, yeah, the reason I didn't use his name or make him use anyone else's when it comes to Rios is this: his actual first name is Jesús (ask me for the rest of his name and I'll give it all including that), but in order not to make him sound like Jesus Christ, they've decided on Jose instead. I hadn't gotten to that yet, which explains no names. But, as you can infer from the Thursday the 12th, he ain't the only one who uses real name subs backstage. Meantime, enough damn explanations, now the H5 are just having fun at some arcade bar. 

"Matthew, you need to find a way to beat me, and that ain't it," Jeff said matter-of-factly. The Hardyz had each selected games to play to see who could do better, and they've already done three. Jeff's been winning everything as far as we knew now. 

"Jeff, you will not be 100%. Even if I suck, I will win a game against you!" Matt practically swore. 

"Shut up." 

"You shut up! I will beat you, and that's final!" 

"Well, well, if it isn't the bickering cronies come back home," a familiar neighborhood bully decided to pick on Matt and Jeff. They then came over to him, dragged him outside, and then got him in a dual Side Effect. 

"Well, that's done with," Matt said. 

"Yeah. Meantime, let's get back to the games and me kicking your butt," Jeff made high time of himself 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Matt tried to cut him off. "I'm the one who's gonna get to kicking your butt soon enough!" 

Inside... 

"What the hell are you doing here?" said a familiar voice. 

"Kurt?" Lita turned around and noticed. 

"No, it's his brother Eric," he sarcastically denied. "Of course it's me." 

"You mind showing a little respect?" Shannon shot. 

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down, Speedy. Can't somebody show some humor around here?" 

"The disrespect is a joke?" Lita asked. 

"Of course. Why would I intentionally insult anyone who isn't picking a problem with me?" Kurt wanted to see if Lita and Shannon could come up with a reason. 

"Well, I know what you want us to do, and we can't do it," Shannon said, simple as that. 

"You guys playing around and having fun here, right?" 

"Yeah." 

"Might as well join in." 

"But you didn't come with us," Lita pointed out. 

"So? Just tell them that I had just come in, decided to sit here for five minutes, and then caught sight of you as I was about to leave," Kurt suggested. "Besides, that's exactly what happened, so don't worry about it." 

"Hey, ain't that Kurt over there with Ames and Shann?" Jeff pointed to them. 

"Hey, you're right," Matt realized. They then walked over to where the threesome were. 

"Hey, Kurt," Jeff helloed. "What are you doing here?" 

"Not much," Kurt answered. 

"Me neither, except I'm beating Matt in a hundred games." 

"You take that back!" Matt ordered. 

"Ah, shut up," Jeff shunned it off. 

"I will defeat you NOW!" Matt declared. 

"Dude, you don't want to face me in that basketball game again, do you? I can probably shoot like Magloire, but boy, you suck," Jeff taunted his brother. 

"You will take that back before I beat you, or you should be arrested for being an ass!" Matt declared. 

"Matt, don't use that word here," Kurt advised. "It's embarrassing." 

"Aaaarrrgh!" Matt practically blew a fuse and paid for it with a headache. 

"You need to calm down, Matt," Lita recommended. "Let's go." 

"No," Matt refused. "I'm going to defeat Jeff. Come on. It's time to...wait a minute. Okay. Let's go. Come on." 

"Going back to the hotel? Chicken," Jeff taunted. 

Matt, struggling hard to keep a level head through Jeff's senseless intimidating mind games of the mouth, led the group to an amusement park. 

"This isn't the hotel," Jeff realized. 

"It's not," Matt repeated. "The challenge is, we're both going on that roller coaster and sitting with a partner. When we're all off an the ride's over, the soul who didn't have to ride will determine who has the least side effects of fear and fatigue. That team is the winner." 

"I'm going to be on your team, Matt," Lita immediately decided. 

"You're stuck with Kurt and Shannon," Matt said. "Who's your choice." 

"Shannon Moore." 

"What!?" Shannon absolutely opposed that decision. "Come on, Jeff! You know how much I hate this stuff!" 

"Heck it," Jeff said. "Even if we do lose, it'll be a thrill to hear you scream like a baby all over the ride." 

Except for Shannon, who absolutely resented that, they all laughed. 

When the challenge was all over, all four people were panting, but Shannon and Lita are paler than the white of a computer window. It's up to Mattitude and 2Xtreme to determine which team wins. Jeff was straining a bit not to faint, so Kurt declared Matt and Lita the winners. 

"Yes! I did it! I told you I'd beat you, Jeff! And I did!" Matt celebrated all over the place. "Thanks for being such a baby, Shannon! Whoo!" 

"You're the one being the baby now," Jeff tried to cut Matt's fun short. 

"Shut up, Jeff," Matt told him simply. 

"Ah, damn you." 

9:12 PM, during RAW: Extreme Impressions decided to go on at this point, and out came Jeff in the Imagination shirt and the black NC pants, showing he was going to compete as the same old daredevil insaniac he always was! When he was done prancing around like a human monkey cannonball, The Anthem came on, and out came Shane in something pretty much new on the bottom. Wearing the same old Lions-colored Shane-O-Mac (this time with their logo on the shoulder areas) and a pair of vertically striped loose tights with Shane-O-Mac on the backside area and the Cowboys colors and logo on the knees. Meantime, that's been enough of them. Anyway, convenient that it's up to Maven's song to come up as he come in the Maven M black semi-short tights along with his Harvardian partner with the dark red semis and the H on the back. 

The two Tough Enough I grads and members of the assembled TE unit called the Tough Trax, Maven and Nowinski, team up against the daredevil and Shane-O himself. Anyway, it's up to Jeff and Nowinski to get this match under way. They're both into a grapple, and Chris turns it into a setup for the german suplex. Chris throws Jeff up, Jeff lands on his feet, Chris turns around and walks right into a monkey flip outside the ring. He's down and still recovering, but that's when Jeff is making a tightrope run across the rail and fires a leg drop to Nowinski's neck. He then bring him in, stands on the apron, fires with the helo and gets the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Jeff's not going to kick the hell out of Nowinski, but what he will do is head up to the top rope to attempt to fire the Swanton Bomb! Nowinski, who had that perfectly scouted, scattered out of the ring as soon as he saw Jeff in mid-air. The fallen Hardy had to lie there a while favoring in pain while Chris tagged in Maven, who now got up on the top rope post and attacked with a body splash. Staying on Jeff after the boom, he hooked the leg and earned a two-count for his efforts. He then picked Jeff up by the head and irishwhipped him. He set Jeff up to run back right into a dropkick, but the Hardy hung on to the ropes and forced Maven to kick the air. Jeff now began to get on him by getting in a snapmare. Jeff ran away behind him and back for a dropkick to the backbones, which is good because when someone's back is in a bad way, they can't get up to do anything, and it just might be easier to pick up the victory. But Jeff, who doesn't work like a shark, elbowed Maven once and got the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Jeff picked Maven up and irishwhipped him apparently by position so as to be able to do something that did not have to become so obvious, but unfortunately, Maven dropkicked him and tagged in Nowinski, who crossed apron so he was near Shane, then slingshot himself for a leg drop on Jeff. Unfortunately, the Hardy rolled out and tag the only one of the royal McMahons not at the Corp Office. Shane quickly entered the ring and attacked with the McMahon's Strike combination. Maven rushed in and got clotheslined. He kept getting up, and that was repeating itself until Chris finally got up and elbowed Shane's back, knocking him down. Maven and Nowinski were stomping on Shane until Chris told Maven to get back to the apron and that they would stop with the stomps. Nowinski picked Shane up, irishwhipped him, and expected to get Shane in a powerbomb but instead got a shot in the jaw for good measure. With that, Shane tried his hand at one of his best friends' moves, the Side Effect. It worked, and he hooked the leg of the Harvardian, shoulders down. 1, 2, kickout, Sparks made it clear that it was a two-count. Maven tried to get in, but he got back tossed onto the apron where Jeff once stood. Jeff, who came down expecting that, pulled Maven down and then irishwhipped him up the ramp. Although Maven did not go all the way up as intended, Jeff was still able to hold Maven off for Shane to fire a Stin Twist and get the 1, 2, 3 for the victory! 

It's about time Good Charlotte had its major beats here in WWE. Anyway... 

9:43 PM: There was a Mattitude Connection coming up. 

Search for:   
matt hardy 

Enter keyword:   
version 1.0 

10...30.....70.......100%. 

MATT   
ENJOYS   
BEATING   
JEFF IN   
GAMES. 

and 

MATT   
TEAMS   
WITH   
H5   
OUTSIDERS   
A LOT. 

The attires: Matt with the V1 shirt and purple/gold Matt Pants, Crash with his black/green Holly namebrand semis, and Rios with that bandana under his hair and those old red/white Essacross tights from the No Mercy 2000 days. Meantime, it's time for a basic dose of Thuganomics and a specific rico to disgrace stylists, because here they come. Noble with those Spearsword tights from WCW, the Hurricane Ambush of 2002 and...well, since Judgment Day. Rico had the leopard skin pants and Cena had the Jets colors on his tights this time. 

First people into the ring were Noble and Crash. The two of them grappled and Crash broke it by pushing Noble down and stalking him to bring it on. When Noble resurfaced, he ran at Crash and got an arm drag. This repeated a few times until Noble decided to come through with a different approach and dropkick Crash, who landed on the ground and was cover prone. The shark that Noble is, he covered Crash. 1, 2, kickout. Noble got up quickly and picked Crash up, punching him once, irishwhipping him and letting him come back the other way to get thrown out of the ring. A few seconds later, Crash rose up into a cross body takedown from Noble, who then got up and stomped him like a shark. What Matt didn't realize about this match was something that Ross had announced earlier about the WWE Cruiserweight Championship match that was to come between Mysterio an Christian. Kidman had requested being added to the match, so Stephanie and Bischoff made a stipulation. If Matt, Crash and Rios won, Crash and Rios would have to face off one-on-one on SmackDown in order to determine who the fourth soul in the Cruiserweight title match will be. Kidman's request was answered a yes. And if Noble, Rico and Cena won, Noble would face Spike Dudley to get that spot. Anyway, getting on with business, Noble brought Crash into the ring and slid in himself, then picked him up and irishwhipped him. Thing is, Noble received a shot to the midsection and Crash backslided him for the pinfall! 1, 2, Robinson barely missed the three when Noble kicked out. At that point they both rose and Noble clotheslined Crash. With that, he went down, hooked Crash's leg and got a two-count for his efforts. Noble picked Crash up to his knees and elbowed him a few times, holding on so he didn't fall. He then decided to throw him back down and get him in a boston crab. With that, Crash had to spend about 31 seconds in pain before he kicked Noble off. The two made tags: Crash to Matt and Noble to Rico. They both got into the ring and ran at one another. Matt clotheslined Rico. Rico got back up and got clotheslined. This happened over and over until Rico got up and fired that spinning heel kick on Matt. He then got the cover. Not enough impact for that to finish Matt off, so he kicked out after two. Matt decided to get up just as Rico did and clothesline him. Rico rose up and got kicked in the midsection, and would have gotten a Twist of Fate had it not been for Cena, who burst into the ring and punched Matt down hard. Cena immediately picked Matt up and suplexed him. Rios was on the top rope. When Cena got up from the suplex, he turned around into a hurracanrana. Rico tried that spinning kick on Rios, who ducked out of the way and dropkicked him. The absolute heat that sparked from this forced Noble to get into the ring and clothesline Rios, who got back up and countered an irishwhip from the Redneck Messiah as he was once called. The return of Noble was met with the art of being placed on the top rope, being thrown off, and then "waking up" into a Dragon Rana. Problem is, that meant he wasn't going to kick out. 1, 2, 3! 

Matt, Crash and Rios win! 

10:13 PM: A very familiar car crash shows up on the titantron screen and an even more familiar entrance theme comes up, and it reminds people to have a nice day. Want to know who comes out? "Diamond" Dallas Page and Mick Foley! Wearing the Robot Wars shirt, flannel vest and black loose tights, Foley was in the front, while Page stood in the back with the DDP vest and black tanktop and belted pants. Looking at the ring, it's got some sort of design projected on it with pictures of the two of them, and it's also got four chairs. Foley gets a mic. 

"Over the past month or so, my friend Dallas here and I were talking to each other about a little idea I had for us to make a little bit of a segment show for RAW and SmackDown. It took so long to come up with a title (what), call Heyman about it (what), await the Corporate Plane's arrival (what), sign brand new WWE contracts (what), get the design for the ring (what), fit our pictures on it (what), decide who out first guest was going to be (what), and prepare to operate. We both know that the people we're about to call out have been seen before tonight, and they've both come out victorious. But the bottom line is this: they're coming anyway, because there is no physical confrontation to come. So, I'd like to call out our guests for the first-ever Page of Foley's Site. Ladies and gentlemen, please prepare for the arrival of Matt and Jeff Hardy, the Hardy Boyz!" 

The fans already erupt from their seats, and sit back down, but it takes about a minute for Live for the Moment to go on and for that whole thing to start all over again and for Matt and Jeff to come out once more in those same old outfits, and both of them are the same sons of a Hardy you have ever seen. Anyway, when the music dies off, they all sit down, and the show begins. 

"So, Matt, welcome to the show," Mick welcomed him. 

"Thanks a lot, Mick, good to see you back," Matt responds, DDP having gotten another mic for the Hardyz to toss across to one another at the guest chairs. They were all steel chairs: gold for the hosts, silver for the guests. Anyway, back to work. 

"Number one question for you guys, we heard what you had said once during the time you got back with Lita about your brother here having feelings for her," Mick recalled. "How does everything stay as it's always been, that being realized by not only Jeff, but the entire team?" 

"Well, for one thing, I did say I'd stay second, and that was the way I was going to take care of it," Jeff answered. "Besides, if I tried to flirt my way into attracting Lita, Matt would have probably creamed me and given me a Twist of Fate. 

"At Judgment Day and the night after," Page mentioned, "you aided Nidia in ending her troubles - and her relationship, for that matter - with her boyfriend Jamie Noble once and for all. Well, as far as I know, has the H5 been able to get over what she had done to you?" 

"Yes, they've gotten over it, and exquisitely, I might add," Matt answered. "In fact, I'd just like to state that we are good friends of Nidia and Maven these days." 

"Oh, really?" 

"Of course," Jeff put off any doubts in Dallas's mind. 

"John Cena gave me footage of something that happened last night on HEAT." 

The titantron showed Nidia with her traditional outfit on, having just beaten Tori, apparently. Thing is, Jamie came down to the ring in the Spearsword tights and tried to make her feel personally uncomfortable, successfully, I might add. He had her trapped in the corner when Maven came down and fended Noble off. 

"How do you leave a friend to get hurt like this?" 

"What the hell are you trying to do? Cause dissention in our friendship and trust? Excuse me, but honestly, you'd think about the fact that this is our home state! We went over to our dad's house with the rest of the H5 and Hurricane, and we just had some fun. We all rode out into the night afterwards, slept at a friend's place, continued on the ride, got to the hotel, continued on with our lives, had no idea what happened." 

"Well, Vince responded to that earlier tonight by making a match teaming Maven and Nidia against Jazz and Noble for Execution," Mick informed them all. "But that match wouldn't work if Noble turned out to be the fourth member of the WWE Cruiserweight Championship match. Fortunately for that sake, it will be Rios or Crash. Anyway, off of that, I'd like for you to take a little bit of a guess. And, if you think we're trying to cause dissention here, we're only trying to get things straight, get to the facts in this place. In the meantime, as for that guess, if we told you we wanted you to do something for us, what do you tihnk it would be?" 

"Jump Triple H for you and make sure he doesn't get the WWE title at Execution," Jeff jumped to guess. 

"Nope," Mick corrected. "Let me tell you. It's what we want you to do right now. It goes something like this: be off with yourself and have a nice day!" 

"Because it's not a bad thing to have a nice day!" Page finished. "It's a very, very good thing." 

Foley's theme goes off again, and the Hardyz shake hands with the hosts of The Pages of Foley's Site before all four of them leave. Don't worry, the chairs get taken off and the design projector is turned off from who knows where. 

Meantime, that's been enough fun, let's get on with the show. _Chapter 36: Don't Cheat any Moore_. SmackDown comes your way if you live in Orlando! And Mattitude is true attitude, and DON'T YOU FORGET IT ANYTIME SOON! 


	36. Don't Cheat any Moore

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 36: Don't Cheat any Moore**

Thursday, June 19th, 2003   
TD Waterhouse Centre in Orlando, FL 

2:32 PM: Well, now they all need a big break. Shannon's been running around all day long, trying to feel the need for speed. Now, he's just sleeping comfortable inside the hotel room, all other H5 members staying in the other room so as not to disturb the sleeping speedy. In a nearby room, though... 

"Okay, Adam. How do you enjoy this?" Christian asked. 

"What's this?" Edge didn't know yet. 

"This is the fact that we don't have our Tag title shot yet," Christian said. 

"Don't even worry about that yet," Edge said. "Look. I've got an idea. Come on. Let's get to the arena and talk to Vince about soemthing." 

The rest of the Red Brood followed his lead as they left the hotel. Meantime, they were seen taking their leave by Matt Hardy, who for some reason walked outside the H5's awake room. Going through a few minutes later, they get back, and Matt's still standing there. 

"Hey, Adam! What were you guys doing?" he called, running over to them. Soon as he got to a reachable distance of Edge, they all stopped. 

"The only thing we needed to do, of course," Edge simply answered. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" 

"Went over to get ourselves a tag team title match," Christian said. 

"Which two?" Matt asked. 

"Me and Chris," Edge answered. 

"For when? SuperBrawl?" Matt asked. 

"Yup. Well, actually, the thing is, we've got ourselves a #1 contender's match for a Tag Team title shot. But Kurt and Pete dictate it by choosing which belts they go after. Anyway, the opponents are Henry and Os." 

"I doubt you'll win," Matt said. 

"I believe we'll win," Edge countered. 

"Got a plan up your sleeve, eh?" Matt figured. 

"Well, sort of," Edge revealed. 

Back at the H5's room... 

"What now?" Shane asked. 

"That was a pretty good show Matt and Jeff had with Mick and Page, don't you think?" Lita commented. 

"I've got to admit, dissention is easy to come by, but those two guys we have on our team certainly know how to defeat it all," Shane supported her comment. 

"Whatever happened to Mark? He wasn't here when the WWE checked in." 

"Don't even ask me about him and Glen. It's okay to show up late when it comes to comparison to the board checkin time, but it's not okay to check in when it's go time. What could they be doing?" 

"Beats me, but we might as well forget about it." 

"Exactly. What now?" 

"Absolute boredom." 

"Not exactly," a voice broke their conversation. 

They turned to see that cool, calm collective athlete called RVD. 

"Hey, Rob," Shane greeted. "What are you doing here?" 

"I just decided to come by and see how you guys were doing," Rob answered. 

"We're just talking about this and that, you know," Lita told him. 

"Oh, well. Where's Jeff?" Rob asked. 

"We forgot about that. He went somewhere and said he'd be back soon, but it's been three hours," Shane pointed out. 

"Well, well, three hours and no more," a voice suddenly said. They all turned around to see Jeff. Marissa was just sitting down boredly this whole time. 

"What's with her?" he pointed to Marissa. 

"I think she's just bored out," Rob said. "There's really nothing too exciting going on around here. Where's Shannon? Meditating in that closed room?" 

"Replace the first word with 'asleep' and you've got it right. He overworked his Vroom-A-Zooms," Lita informed RVD. 

"Dude, he'll have to wake up soon or he'll be right back to normal and miss the match." 

"Right back to normal with Shannon?" Lita questioned Rob's judgment. "That cannot happen." 

"But pay attention to this," Jeff said. "I've been going around town and, strangely enough, I've heard people making ridiculous statements through language, prepared signs, etc. saying that, quote, 'Lita's breasts are vein tubes'." 

"Perverts! They're trying to get me to show off!" Lita shot. 

"Dude, that is an outrage," Rob almost yelled. 

"How can you say 'dude' at a time like this?" Jeff demanded 

"It's what I always do." 

"You know, sometimes I just swear you're an a-" 

"I keep hearing some stupid chanters all over this hotel talking about you having veiny implants!" Matt yelled, having rushed back. "I might just give somebody a Twist of Fate right about now!" 

"And I swear we're all getting bent up over nothing. Look, if they really think your 'things' are veiny, that's their opinion. Don't do anything about it. If they're trying to get you to flash or to blow your temper and attack somebody, you might just very well be arrested, taken in for questioning, or something. Don't do anything about it," Rob simply suggested. 

"You know, it's just that easy for you, isn't it? They might just call somebody in this very room area a weak snob next thing." 

Chants of "Matt is weak!" are all over the front area now. 

"Those people are-" 

"Not going to feel your wrath, Matt. It's okay," Lita cut him off. "Those people down there. I don't think they'd seriously disrespect any of us. I mean, we haven't done anything to be hated for, have we?" 

"No, we haven't," Matt said, calm now. 

"This is a test, bro. Let them get to your head and you'll fail it," Jeff said matter-of-factly. "Besides, in case you never knew, I got them to do it while I was gone." With that, he was shot incredulous stares. 

"What?" And with that, he got a Twist of Fate. 

"What was that for?" RVD wanted to know. 

"That brother of mine trying to play a prank on me! If I had no moral sanity, I'd destroy you all!" 

"You've already lost a ton," Shane boringly commented. "How much do you have left?" 

"Okay, I might as well destroy all of you," Matt said. 

"Don't do that, man," RVD stopped him before he could do anything. "Look at yourself. This isn't like you. You're supposed to be the always confident, always caring Matt Hardy. That's how we know you." 

With that, Matt calmed down once again. 

"Thanks, Rob," he acknowledged. "I needed that." 

"Don't worry about it." 

Meantime, in the Corp. Office, they've got the lineup for the Execution Royal. But they've also got something else. Randy Orton, Chuck Palumbo and Mark Henry will go one-on-one to see if they've got what it takes. The first person who wins will get Palumbo's spot and can leave. The two remaining ones have to face off for Henry's spot. The loser can just exit the rumble. That's what they've got. Anyway, speaking corporately is nothing that is super, whether in terms of good or bad. It ain't super. Anyway, back to business... 

5:24 PM: Jeff's back up (since a long time ago) and Shannon just awoke a minute ago. 

"So, did I miss out on anything?" Shannon asked. 

"Let me tell you why I went off," Jeff offered. "I went door-to-door and got people who were coming to TD Waterhouse to make chants against Amy and Matt for what's half a joke, half a test. Amy passed, but it took a little RVD to calm her down." 

"Ooooohhh, I-" 

"Quiet," Jeff cut Shannon off, knowing he would make an idiotic childish assumption. "It ain't that way. He just got to the basic bottom line of everything and told her not to do anything about it. Matt, however, failed miserably, because before RVD could calm him down, he gave me a Twist of Fate." 

"He should really get arrested for that," Shannon commented. 

"Tell him that and you'll get one, too," Jeff said. "And, better yet, he might...no, I better not say it, because he might know and actually do it." 

"Whatever you're talking-" 

"Shut up about it. Want to race?" 

"I'll beat you anytime." 

"Oh, I'd love to see that," Chris said. They turned to see him. 

"Well, if it isn't the Highlight of the Night come to sneak up on us," Jeff commented. 

"Sneak?" Chris 'denied'. "Now, I know I can be a cheater sometimes, but a sneak? That's not like me at all. And nor are those accusations like you." 

"Actually, anything's your style, Chris," Jeff countered. "Anyway, what are you doing here?" 

"Very-hey, what was that?" Chris felt something on the back of his neck but looked to see no one. 

"Look in the back below," Shannon said. At that point, Trish tried to get out of there, but she was caught anyway. With Shannon's all-seeing eyes, how could she escape with that trick? 

"Mind trying that one again?" 

"I'd love to, but it looks as though you've already figured it out, and I'm easily scouted right now, so I won't try it," Trish declined. 

This time, he felt something else on his back, and he immediately turned around and pointed to Jeff. The problem is, if he had turned around the other way, he would have see that it was that darn Socko being held by Mick Foley. Trish giggled as Jericho constantly accused Jeff. When he overheard her, he turned and accused her, saying she was in on a humiliation spree. But she told him, "FOLEY DID IT!" 

With that, he looked on all cylinders and spotted Mick in no time. 

"That was pretty funny there, Chris," Mick said. "I'd like to do that again." 

"No, thank you, Foley Boy, I've had enough for one day," Jericho refused. With that, he got a steel chair shot to the face. From who? The Game. Triple H. The Celebral Assassin. Having disposed of the obstacle, HHH focused on the prey: Jeff Hardy. As far as he was concerned, Shannon was nothing, and so was Mick. 

"You, my friend, had better be very careful what you say," HHH threatened. "Just because your brother and his girlfriend are now friends with Jose, that doesn't mean you're cool with me. 'Cause you're not. As far as I'm concerned, if you make any more jokes about me, especially in public, I am going to cream you apart personally. Understand that, Hardy Boy?" 

"I am not afraid of you, Hunter," Jeff stated boldly. "And, yes, I can use that whenever and wherever I want. You want me one-on-one? You got it. But on one condition: let's lay your spot in the Execution Royal on the line." 

"Oh, I can take you on anytime, anywhere, for anything, in any match-" 

"Which gives me the idea of the ladder," Jeff cut HHH off. With that, he gave him a good slap which turned him around and set him up for Mick's disgusting finisher, the Mandible Claw of Mr. Socko. The move being applied with that smiling sock going down the gullet of Triple H, Foley told the Celebral one to have a nice day and enjoy The Pages of Foley's Site. HHH scowled at Foley while Jeff and Shannon closed the door, pushing him out. Also outside, Page thought it could make for a humiliating segment to Triple H, so he had it videotaped as good footage fir their show. Off of that... 

8:32 PM, during SmackDown: Mattitude Connection time. 

Search for:   
shannon moore 

Enter keyword:   
vroom-a-zoom 

10...30.....70.......100%. 

As his theme goes on, a Matt Facts section was entitled to him. First fact... 

SHANNON   
AND JEFF   
ARE   
SOMEWHAT   
BEST   
FRIENDS. 

and 

SHANNON   
RUNS AT   
LEAST ONE   
SPRINT   
PER DAY. 

While that's going on, he's also got an entrance theme going. He comes out in a rush. The MF Vroom-A-Zoom shirt and the red/black Speedster loose tights are in full gear, and so is Moore himself. Shannon had a few fives for the fans as he was going down the ramp, and he had the Speed Limit 100 warning up at several turnbuckle posts. Immediately after his theme cut came One of a Kind, for Rob Van Dam to come out in what I like to call the Blue Eyes Van Dam attire. As Chimel introduced him, he quickly got into the ring for his usual Thumb Point. Then came the Latino Heat theme and Chavo and Eddie came out. Eddie had those old midnight blue Latino tights while Chavo had the blue long tights with that green design of his. Who does their tights, anyway? Pedro Weverro? Sick joke. 

Anyway, we're on the road to WWE Execution, and both teams are ready for action. Eddie will start things off with RVD, but Shannon says that he wants to take over for the moment. It's Moore and Guerrero. They begin the match with a grapple. Eddie knees Shannon in the midsection and immediately suplexes him. He goes with the triple vertical suplex combo. That wears out Shannon a little bit. The pinfall cover. 1, 2, kickout by Shannon. Eddie decides on a few elbows to the back, and he does it fast! With that, he picks Shannon up in german suplex position and throws him up above him. Shannon lands on his feet, gets Eddie in that same position, except he rams him forward towards the ropes. When Eddie bumps into the ropes, Shannon gets him in a rolling pin cover. 1, 2, kickout. As they both rise, Eddie clotheslines Shannon, then attempts to get a cheap shot on RVD, who headbutts the midsection of Eddie Guerrero and shoots up over the ropes for a sunset flip pin. However, so as to not let Eddie get comfortable and realizing that he is not the legal man, Rob immediately gets off as soon as Eddie proves down and backflips up and makes another backflip to the outside before Eddie can get him. The Guerrero chases after Van Dam only to receive a baseball slide from Shannon. RVD dcecides this is a good time for getting Chavo out of the way, so he gets him in a cheap shot...or so he declares, because when he turns around after that cheap shot, he walks right into Shannon. As the two partners collide, Chavo and Eddie smirk. Eddie gets up and fires the helo on Shannon. He then gets the cover. 1, 2, kickout. With that, he tags in Chavo, who goes up to the top rope and gets in the Latino Heat Frog Splash. Chavo tried to throw RVD out. Rob held on to the top rope, then gets shoved off by Chavo, who got rolled up by Shannon. 1, 2, kickout. Chavo and Shannon both clotheslined each other at the same time as soon as they rose. Eddie now exposed the concrete of the floor and gave RVD that Splash Mountain Powerbomb right onto it. Referee Jack Done saw that RVD looked to be in great pain. He was forced to attend to RVD. Eddie, meanwhile, got up to the top rope, and before Shannon could get up, gave him that Frog Splash. It was almost executive finish time. Done couldn't see anything, he was still attending to RVD. Finally, Nick Patrick came out, and Chavo had arisen and was now setting up Shannon for a Loco Buster. The move connected as the blood was completely clotted inside of Shannon's head. He was knocked out. Chavo hooked the leg. 1, 2, 3. Los Guerreros won the match. Or so they think, because it wasn't Latino World Order that went on. Instead came on Vince McMahon's very own theme, No Chance. 

"That kind of foul play will not be tolerated! For as long as I've been watching my company's matches, never have I seen something so sick in a minor match!" Vince fumed. "That wasn't an attempt to win the match, Eddie! You tried to end RVD's career! Thanks to you, he won't be able to compete in the Execution Royal! As soon as I see Shannon Moore gets up, it will be a one-on-one contest between Loco Chavo and Shannon Moore, damnit! Now I can't do the Henry-Palumbo-Orton match because I know Orton will need to be installed in the damn match already! Uh-oh. The boy looks to be up. Punishment: Shannon gets the automatic first move! As soon as he strikes Chavo down, the match will begin!" 

With that cue, Shannon dropkicks Chavo to the back harshly. His neck's hung up on the bottom rope. Shannon gets to the top rope post nearest to Chavo and gets him in a hard leg drop to the back of the head. The force chokes Chavo really fast, although it does put a little strain on Shannon's backside. Shannon immediately got Chavo into the ring and slid in himself. With that, he fired a Stun Twist. 1, 2, Eddie pulled Shannon to the outside, then McMahon dealt the Guerrero a Stunner for getting in the way. Shannon got in again, and got up to the top rope. 450 Flip Splash. 1, 2, 3! 

Shannon wins! 

9:25 PM: Extreme Impressions comes on as Jeff comes out. His outfit's that white no-sleeve, no-color shirt and those black/silver Matt Pants. He's sitll the same old dramatic daredevil as you can clearly see from the way he's going about. In the middle of Jeff's dramatic and applauded entrance, they show footage on what got Rios to actually be able to team with Matt after the match's notification in the first place. Afterwards comes Time to Play the Game. The black Pain is Temporary HHH tights are on The Game. 

HHH is attacked as soon as he spits the water at the top rope. Jeff shoves him from behind. HHH's neck "runs" into the guardrail. Jeff gets up there, picks him up, gets him into the ring, slides in, heads up, and goes for a twisting body attack as soon as HHH gets up, turns around and tries to get him. The Game catches Jeff, but he's not heavy enough for the load. Jeff gets the cover on him. 1, 2, kickout by HHH. Jeff now stomps him a few times, then picks him up. When he does that, he fires a dropkick. 1, 2, kickout. Jeff gets back up. He picks HHH up by the head. Once The Game is on his feet, he rips Jeff's hands away and punches Jeff. Jeff punches HHH. HHH punches Jeff. Jeff punches HHH. And so on until Jeff finally ducks out of a punch and gets up on the top rope and tries that attack again. Jeff lands on his feet, but he was falling forward too much and ends up falling on his stomach. The reason that happened is because HHH stopped walking into it and got out of the way. With that, he started attacking Jeff's lower area like a shark. First, he put strain on it with the Boston Crab. Once Jeff got to the ropes and fought his way out of it, the back of the knee of Jeff was ruthlessly attacked with stomps from The Game, who hung onto the ropes for a while before Charles Robinson counted the DQ count. 1, 2, 3, he then let go of the ropes and kept on the assault. Now, Jeff was more likely than not unable to walk on that right leg. Jeff rolled out of the ring and started limping a bit. He got back into the ring, and then came some sort of multichop half Boston Crab on the left side this time. Chops in between the lap areas with the right hand, the crab hold on the left. At this point, the Celebral Assassin looked to have done his job. He now picked Jeff up. The Hardy was falling right back down. HHH got his arms, then set him up for the Pedigree. Jeff lifted his spine up and backtossed HHH off, although it took a lot of energy to do so. Now, the Hardy was struggling to stay up on his dead legs, which at this point did not seem possible. He was on his knees for quite a while. Actually too long when you think about it, because HHH was able to lay the stomping once again, and this time, that right boot of his attacked both legs, supposedly ensuring that Jeff would never walk for the next week. Jeff soon decided enough was enough and slid his way into facing HHH with his entire body. With that, he pushed back out of the ring. He decided to attempt to buy some time and recouperate. HHH decided to take a break before going on another rampage. He didn't realize that this was the perfect opportunity for a rampage. Anyway, once Jeff felt he was good enough to walk, he decided to get up on the apron. HHH ran after him, only to get an elbow in the face. Jeff decided to shoot up into the ring. He got caught by HHH. However, he managed to turn the catch into a Tornado DDT! With that, he crawled to HHH and got the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Jeff now was beginning to get on a roll. He picked HHH up, punched him a few times, irishwhipped him only to get countered, but took advantage of that on the return with a forearm to Triple H. Jeff decided to get up top and attempt the Swanton Bomb. It connects. Although that is the truth, HHH kicked out of the pinfall cover than ensnared him next. Infuriated, yet gut busted, HHH got up too quickly and ended up about to puke until he swallowed it all little by little. Jeff kicked him in the midsection and tried to go for the Twist of Fate, but HHH pushed him into irishwhip. With that, The Game kicked Jeff in the midsection and hurried with the Pedigree before Jeff could get out. He then picked him up and gave him another one. One would think HHH was a sicko, but let me tell you why he got in another Pedigree. Jeff hit a Swanton Bomb on him, but he kicked out. He thought Jeff would probably do the same, so he decided on two instead of one in order to ensure the victory. Cole didn't get it. Madden did. He told him and called him an idiot whle HHH got the pin on him and scored a 1, 2, 3. 

On other issues, from the threat to the sock gullet, Mick and Page displayed it on The Pages of Foley's Site, and The Road Dogg was revealed as a guest. But, he was called The Roadie: his ring name once more. I don't remember when he had it, but according to Gerweck, he had it. And, to HHH's dismay, he was joining the m-Wo, and he was actually _laughing_ at what had happened to the Celebral Assassin. 

_Chapter 37: Triumph Once More!_

That's all I have left to say. Good night from Orlando. 


	37. Triumph Once More!

**Finally Free**   
**Chapter 37: Triumph Once More!**

I'll be making a special MFer's appearance. And, I hate that this is late. What I don't hate, however, is my only live exception to the "2002" rule. It comes of an escence. 

Sunday, June 22nd, 2003   
American Airlines Arena in Miami, FL 

2:15 PM: Right now, I'm at a laundromat waiting for my mom to finish on something. This is the last time I let myself be a guinea pig. I'm walking along, wandering off, when I catch sight of somebody who looks vaguely familiar. Could it be Matt? If it is, I can't wait to tell him what I was doing!   
Turns out as I see him walk past, it looks completely like him. 

"Hey, Matt!" I called. 

"Whoa! Who are you?" Matt asked. 

"Just go ahead and call me Prime Time," I said. 

"Give me a break." 

"Shut up. Now, let me get to why I called you. #1, I'm bored to heck. #2, I've always wanted to meet you and the H5. I've been seeing what's been going on. I hate Triple H for trying to intimidate Jeff...no, wait, long before that, he's sucked in my eyes. #3, I'm an MFer. Period." 

"That's really cool," he said. 

"I don't buy that yet. You don't know the Mattitude Follower as much as you think you do. You see, I'm pretty much an enigma. Some people call me weird, some call me a dork. I pretty much hide things from myself sometimes. But there's one thing I ain't hiding today. Your girlfriend is my favorite of the divas. You've got good taste, dude." 

"Well, it looks like Hogan's not the only black guy to say that word." 

"What, dude?" 

"Yeah." 

"Oh, one more thing. I know the real names. Go ahead and let me use 'em. But, be careful about Eddie, Chavito and Joanie. They cheat to win." 

"Shannon's been complaining to me about that all week. Let alone the fact that Rob might not even be able to make it to the Execution Royal tonight." 

"He won't make it." 

"What makes you say that?" 

"Vince McMahon had said that Randy was taking Rob's place." 

"Yeah, but Rob wants this too bad, so Vince decided to give him the shot. He and Randy will be walking together to that ring when it's Rob's turn to go." 

"Oh, he will?" 

"Yeah. There won't be any physical contact, though, but if Rob can make it all the way from his locker room to inside the ring without obvious strain, Randy'll be going back to the back. If Rob feels a little strain, he'll be going back and Randy will indeed replace him. Just hope the acrobatic one can make it. You're going to watch it, aren't you?" 

"Don't have the money." 

"Well, in that case, come with me. I'll try to sign you a backstage pass so you can be with us in the hotel and in the arena." 

I followed Matt on a long walk, on which I was always complaining about being tired and such. We finally reached the hotel after an hour. I wonder where my family happens to be. I know bro's not at work. 

3:32 PM: I'm outside here, and they're all waiting for us...or should I say Matt, because they don't know me. 

"I can't believe this! Everyone's here!" I exclaimed. 

"Yup." 

"Wait, I've got something for you. Do you remember meeting a female MFer who was practically frozen over you about ten years ago?" 

"What?" 

"Whoops. Wrong word. I meant ten months ago." 

"Oh, in that case, she was right over at my place, frozen, claiming they weren't stalkers. That's all they could do until bro and I made a move." 

"I don't think anyone remembers anything except it was probably a whole lot of fun especially for them. She says she met you again at an autograph signing...wherever she lives." 

"Hey, who's the kid?" Lita asked. 

"Don't worry about me. I'm just a major MFer who happens to be an admirer of yours," I answered before Matt could say anything. "Oh, don't be surprised if I call you guys be the real names, because I know them. And, if you guys are telling me that I might brag about it, I wouldn't count on it. I've got only, like, one person I can actually feel like bragging' about it to. Oh, don't worry about this voice, I'm a master imitator." 

"Why don't you do my voice, then?" 

"I can easily do Jeff's," I said, actually trying it out. 

"You are too good," Jeff sighed, shaking his head. 

"Know who I've been doing the whole time?" I made them guess. 

"This one that you're doing right now," Hurricane came through for a guess. 

"Yeah, but who is that is what I'm asking," I told him why his answer was wrong. 

"Let me...uh, oh. Could it be that Wheeler kid?" 

"You're onto something," I said. 

"It's got to be Joseph Wheeler from Yu-Gi-Oh!" 

"Too close for comfort." 

"Huh?" 

"You people edit the meaning of those expressions too much. TOO close for comfort. I don't have any comfort of not being figured. So, you got it right," I explained. "Sometimes, you people are such idiots." 

"Who are you calling idiots?" Shane demanded. 

"Shut up," I said. "Last I checked, you were a McMahon, right? How'd you guys become such buddies, anyway?" 

"Me and Matt, we're just plain insane sometimes. Besides, he got me Good Charlotte," Shane explained. 

"About the insane comment: not sexually, I know. I'm not the only one who gets that kind of idiotic thinking from others," I said. "What do you mean, he got you Good Charlotte? He got you a contract over them---no, wait, your entrance theme, The Anthem, it's from Good Charlotte! I know that theme so well, it's on Madden 2003! One of my faves from that game. I've got lots of others. So, who won that other match? Seldana or Lockwood?" 

"You do now the names," Shane realized. "I'm quite impressed." 

"Not only that, you are also a moron," I annoyingly stated. "Anyway, let's try to go get me that backstage pass, shall we? Although I doubt that he'll let me get it, seeing as how I'm only a thirteen-year-old Mattitude Follower who, probably up until today, has done nothing for this business." 

When we get to the arena and ask Vince about getting me the pass... 

"That's exactly what you are!" he fumed. "A thirteen-year-old MFer who's done nothing for this company! How dare you deface my reputation by asking for a backstage pass! I don't give things to babies, you know!" 

"Sheesh, you don't have to yell, McMahon," I countered. "That's an insult to me. And I don't like being insulted. I'll go head home...wherever that is in relation to this place." 

We get back to the hotel's outside where Matt and co. were... 

"You see, I figured Vince wouldn't give us the pass, so I came up with an idea," I said. "Get me a portable TV, get someone to edit it to focus on the WWE cameras and the speakers as if it were on Pay Per View, except it's not. Ask Vince about that. He might go ahead...no, wait, I have a portable TV already! Get it to Mr. McMahon and ask him about that." 

"I don't like the word usage, it sounds like you're the boss already," Shane said. 

"We gonna go through with this or not?" 

"Yes, we will," Jeff said. 

After about 21 minutes, they came back. 

"Vince had a better idea. He decided you could go ahead and stay with us at the hotel. There's already a PPV device in the hotels, making it be you don't have to order and pay. The Pay Per View events will automatically dish on Channel 580. Just pick a show at any time, and you'll go right to it just by going on the channel itself. Cheer for us over there, will ya?" 

"You bet I will!" I exclaimed. 

_I wonder if my family knows I'm having so much fun._

"Who's the kid?" Edge suddenly asked coming out. 

"Go ahead and call this kid Prime Time, he won't tell us his real name," Matt said. 

"Nobody knew that. Anyway, let me get on with it. I don't need people knowing who the hell was the H5 Team Extreme's special guest at Execution, especially one of my buddies who told me two weeks ago he'll be there tonight. Might not catch sight of him, though. Don't worry about that, because you've got a big match." 

"That indeed, I do," Chris boasted out with Trish and Christian. 

"Hey, I know you have an opportunity to become WWE Champion again, Chris, but I was not talking about you," I informed him. "I was talking about Matt, Amy and Shane. They have the opportunity to triumph again. Don't worry about how I know this stuff, I have my sources. We goin' in or not?" 

"Well, I guess we basically have no choice but to go in with this kid," Matt said. 

"No choice? You can dump me out on the street and get jailed for it if you like," I objected to that. 

"I was just kidding around, man, you're with us," he took it back. 

"I'm too grim for you," I said with my Grim Reaper voice. Shoot, this is all about me, I need to get to a non-me part. That'll be easy to figure. The match table is the obvious choice. 

**Match Order - Contestants/Teams - Match Stipulations and Online Championships**   
Preliminary Match - Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria - WWE Women's Championship   
First Match - Booker T and Rikishi vs. Bill DeMott and The Big Show - WWE Tag Team Championships   
Second Match - Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Crash Holly vs. Christian - WWE Cruiserweight Championship   
Third Match - Nidia and Maven vs. Jazz and Jamie Noble - None   
Fourth Match - Department of Dudleyville vs. Three Minute Warning - None   
Fifth Match - Matt Hardy, Shane McMahon and Lita vs. Latino Heat - World Tag Team & Women's Championships: LH Loss = Chavo wields CW Belt   
Seventh Match - Kurt Angle vs. The Undertaker - World Heavyweight Championship   
Eighth Match - 20-man Execution Royal - Over the Top, WWE Heavyweight Championship 

**Execution Royal Participants:**   
Albert   
Brock Lesnar   
Bubba Ray Dudley   
Chris Benoit   
Chris Jericho   
Chuck Palumbo   
Dave Batista   
Hardcore Holly   
Hulk Hogan   
Kane   
Ken Shamrock   
Kevin Nash   
Mark Henry   
Randy Orton or Rob Van Dam   
The Rock   
Scott Hall   
Scott Steiner   
Shawn Michaels   
Steve Austin   
Triple H 

Well, we got that straightened out. It's time to move on! 

5:12 PM: I'm beginning to get a little bit bossy around here. 

"Where's Shawn?" I asked. 

"Must be somewhere on this floor," Matt answered. "Coincidentally, all our friends happen to be on the same room floors as us. 

"Well, I guess I'd better go ahead and find him," I decided. 

"I think I know where...oh, wait a minute. It's the way Vince aligns all the people!" he burst. "Come on. I'll show you to their room." 

"The m-Wo, right?" I assumed. 

"Exactly, now stop stating the obvious, that is not the way of a Mattitude Follower," he hurried it along. 

"Shut up." 

"Are you sure you're an MFer? Because you just told me to be quiet," Matt questioned. 

"Of course I am. What do you think? You twit," I completely objected the questioning. "Meantime, keep leadin' me to the door. I got a few questions to ask. It's sort of well to say I'm going outside the ropes, if you will." 

"Okay." 

Once we got there, he knocked on the door. 

"Come on in," the most familiar voice in the world invited us in. 

He opened the door, and there they were. I was getting the experience of meeting the Superstars LIVE! I couldn't believe it. I was so ecstatic inside. But the problem is, if I let that come out, I might go crazy. So, I decided to just keep a level head. 

"That little MFer's shown up after all," Shawn said. "So, how are you, Matt?" 

"Pretty much doin' fine, how about you? Getting accustomed to having the Golden Thong Champion on your team?" Matt asked back. 

"Unpervertedly, I might add," Shawn answered. 

"Hey, are you actually insinuating that I, Matt Hardy, Version One, the official founder of Mattitude, am a pervert!?" Matt completely objected. 

"Exactly! You tell 'em, Matt!" I sided with him, of course. "How can this guy be a pervert? He's got a damn girlfriend!" 

"I think I've known that for so long," Shawn retorted. "Torrie told us all about that Stink Face thing. Besides, Bryan saw it on TV." 

"I need that kid eaten up, because that was such a long time ago. Why is anyone supposed to remember?" I questioned. "And using the far past to call him a pervert just isn't style at all. Besides, that's not why I came in. I came in here to go outside the ropes with you guys on some things." 

"Okay," he accepted. "Torrie! Bryan! Kevin!" 

When they all showed, Dragon without the mask, Matt introduced me, and I cut him off from introducing them and did it for myself. Good thing I never told him anything more than Prime Time, because I thought that after what I tried to pull with those two friends of mine, I had gotten some sort of reputation, or I would if I were told about. Anyway, they all sat in front of me, and in the order from my left to right were Nash, Wilson, Dragon and Michaels. 

"For this interview, I'm going to use your wrestling names," I informed them before conducting it so as not to surprise Dragon and Michaels. "American Dragon, will you ever wrestle without your mask?" 

"I doubt I'll ever take it off during show hours, because it makes me feel good that I have a character beyond the normal kid Bryan Danielson," he answered. 

"To the team: how did this whole idea come about with the four of you?" 

"Well, for one thing, I've had my bad days with Triple H, as you should know," Shawn started. 

"That I know, and he's in DX," I added. 

"And, Kevin here hasn't been too happy about the nWo, in fact, he had started the nWo Wolfpac, a black and red nWo unit to battle the original, back in the WCW days," he added. "I've been watching. Don't think I don't know what I'm talking about. AD here would like to teach Kidman a lesson for what he had done to Torrie, and the golden thong girl is angry about it herself. Besides, none of us have any problems getting along, I guess we can fit pretty well as a team. Plus, Kidman isn't the only degenerate to betray a woman." 

"Lita got betrayed by Rios, and Stephanie got betrayed by Trip, and, not to call Chuck gay, but his tag partner Billy Gunn re-joined DX behind his back," I pointed out. 

"True," he agreed. "I see you're getting the point." 

"Torrie, do you think you'll ever get in a relationship with either of these three men?" 

"Good question," she commended. "Well, actually, as it stands right now, no. But if ever, I might try to get with Kevin." 

"Get the facts straight, he's too old for you," I said, jokingly trying to start something. 

"Didn't you know that I'm 42?" Kevin caught onto my plan and joined in. 

"Nice try, but you see, that's exactly what I wanted said, because I happen to have treated that question a joke," Torrie revealed. "As I knew you guys would." 

"Oh, man! She never falls for anything!" I complained. "I'm gettin' out of here after this next question: are you sure you can compete show in and show out like you usually did, Shawn?" 

"I can do it for at least one more month," Shawn answered. "After SuperBrawl, Hogan and I are leaving. Oh, yeah, we already signed a one-on-one for that event. If either one of us becomes WWE Champion, it'll be for the title." 

"That's really cool," I answered. 

"Must be your lucky day to know something like that," he answered. 

"All right, guys, let me leave. Thanks for letting me go outside the ropes with you guys, it's about time I stopped being a rush and got back to the H5." 

When I found my way back to the H5's hotel rooms... 

"Psst, Amy," I hissed, calling her over with my index finger when she turned around. 

"What's this all about?" she asked. 

"Went over to Shawn's to get a little info," I said. "Anyway, off of that. Let me get onto something. I need to seriously talk to you." 

"I know, you like me and all, but-" 

"Hey, I wasn't talking about that or being an MFer. I'm ready to ask you something about Matt. Explain to me how you were able to keep hoping he'd return to the kind man you knew him as," I asked. 

"That's the power of love, for one thing," Lita said. 

"Heh. Well, you guys have been making history PPV after PPV since WrestleMania. And, it's mainly been you and Matt, to tell you the truth. I don't get how you guys get so lucky. But, seriously, do not tell me anything. I just have to say, back when he was an asshole, even though he was still kinda cool back then, I never thought I'd see the two of you side by side again. Next thing you know, that's exactly what happens, and to make things even crazier, Mattitude's still around! I seriously don't know what's going on, but whatever it is, it's got to be some...wait a minute. Wait just a minute. Mattitude has taken in a little hyperdrive for the people, hasn't it?" 

"Ever since Jeff showed him what being a brother is about," Lita added in a sort of corrective way. 

"Like, when was that?" 

"The Rumble. Jeff kept helping him out of tight spots all the time instead of trying to beat him up. He was in complete shock and awe, and when I walked up to him as though nothing had changed, I knew that things were going to keep that upgrade called Mattitude, but they were going back to normal." 

"And that's exactly what went on, but I don't get it. He still had feelings for you all that time when he was with Noble?" 

"That's what kind of makes this sad," Lita said. "He was tempted against his own will. And, as much as nobody wants to believe it, Noble's temptress was held against her own will as well. He deserves not to have any good people in his corner, because he is simply a moron, and I say Maven and Nidia should beat the snot out of him tonight." 

"They have a ma...oh, yeah!" I remembered. "Mick and Page talked about it, and I saw that sicko do what he did on HEAT." 

"Sicko is absolutely right," Lita agreed with me. 

"Wait a minute...a judgment to see if Matt trusts us," I said. "Come on. I've got ani idea." 

With that, I head off to a treats and drinks machine in the hall, and I remember: I don't bring money anywhere! Lita suddenly comes over to me and gives me some money. I use it to buy two Milky Way bars in wrappers. 

"Okay, when we hack back into that empty room, we'll eat these. But pay attention: let's make like those guys in the commercials who act like it's a major pleasure just to eat Milky Way. If I'm correct, he'll come rushing in, thinking you're cheating on him and...well, you know, having sex with somebody in there. When he storms in and begins to threaten a breakup, press the alarm button and get Raymond to lead a security unit over. As they're coming, I'll call Shannon over and tell him about this little prank, then when they show up, he'll start talking about it to them, and Matt will get what was coming to him for acting like he didn't need anybody." 

"Genius." 

We manage to hack to the empty room, and thank goodness it's still heavy. We start eating the Milky Way bars likw the guys in the commercial, and the thing is, we were expecting Matt after a few seconds, but it took a little bit of a longer time for him to come in. And he had a major smile on his face. 

"Hey, guys, welcome back," Matt said. "Trying to pull one all over me, huh?" 

"Obviously, we couldn't pull it off," I sighed. 

"True to default, because I have just too much Mattitude to fall for such cheap, easy tricks," he boasted. 

"Matt, there's no need to rub it in on us," Lita tried to calm his hype down. 

"Yeah, well I suppose you guys were trying to make me think you were doing...well, it," he guessed, "then make me get pissed off and say some bonehead stuff, and finally, you'd pull one on me by letting someone know. My bets are on that." 

"Well, pay attention. That's exactly what was going on," Lita confessed. 

"Come on, Amy, don't feel so bad. Besides, I think it was his idea." 

"That it was," and so was it my turn to admit the truth. "I just wanted to see if you trusted us and if you could be fool proof." 

"Apparently, the yes goes to the trust," Matt stated the obvious. 

"You're telling _me_ about stating the obvious," I countered. "What was that?" 

"Ha! You got tricked without getting tricked," Lita decided to rub it back in his face. 

"A break is to be deserved," Matt said. 

"Well, I guess we should try to...ah, forget it." 

Match results for Execution before the inaugural World Tag Team/Women's Championship Intergender 6-Person match... 

Torrie and Victoria wrestled that one down to the wire, and at the end, Torrie was set up for the Wodow's Peak, but instead turned it into a sunset flip pin and got 1, 2, 3, becoming the new WWE Women's Champion as the HEAT hour went off the air. I liked it a lot.   
A long and hard-fought battle between a tag team from Team Bring It and a team from the nWo ended in a Showstopper Chokeslam from Big Show to Rikishi, who decided to fool around with his time and stinkface Bill DeMott. DeMott rolled out and puked all over Booker T, keeping him busy and actually pulling one on the Book, who once puked on Michael Cole. The nWo partners retain the Tag Team Titles. I was not going to look near Bill DeMott tonight.   
Kidman's foolish act of chiar clocking Crash and Christian with steel chairs behind the referee's back made it be he had nobody to keep him free from the speedy Mysterio, who fired the 619 and the West Coast Pop. 1, 2, 3. The WWE Cruiserweight Champion is ongoing Rey Mysterio. Although I was hoping for Christian, I wasn't mad because it was Speedy Rey.   
I felt Jazz and Noble didn't deserve anything. I guess Lita talked to Nidia, because the bottom line is, she actually looked like she was beginning to have Jazz's number at a point in the match, and she was being very aggressive. Although they ended up taking that outside the ring, Maven was able to get a sneak cover on Noble to score the pinfall.   
After insanity broke loose, Jamal and Rosey each got a 3D, Rico got the Dudley Dog, and Jackie tried to hit Spike, but got turned around and received the proverbial woman's punishment, a slap, and then something Stacy once fired: the spinning heel kick. With that, she gloated a cover. 1, 2, 3. Embarrassing to Three Minutes, great for Dudleyville, good for me. Now, let's check out the very match I was awaitin' for. 

9:02 PM, during Execution: There were three Mattitude Connections. First one... 

Search for:   
matt hardy 

Enter keyword:   
version 1.0 

10...30.....70.......100%. 

Matt Facts: 

MATT   
LOVES   
MAKING   
PPV   
HISTORY. 

and 

MATT   
IS   
NOT A   
GULLIBLE   
MORON. 

That should definitely come in handy, but he's wearing his ring attire. The V1 shirt and the purple/gold Matt Pants he always wears: they were on once more for a good old Pay-Per-View matchup. Live for the Moment came on as soon as the Connection went on and Cole made a few ramblings. I may get on them in a sec. When it was time for him to stop... 

Search for:   
lita 

Enter keyword:   
fireshell 

10...30.....70.......100%. 

Lita Facts: 

LITA SAYS   
TRICKING   
MATT IS   
LITERALLY   
IMPOSSIBLE. 

and 

LITA AND   
JEFF,   
QUOTE,   
"RETURNED   
MATT'S   
HEART." 

I believed that as she came out in the outfit of Mattitude I had seen her come out in over the past few weeks: the Version Hearts top and the midnight green/gold Matt Pants. The theme: Bring Me to Life by Evanescence. With her Ignition note (in case this is the first time, that's the Mattitude V1 sign without the index raised), and the way she came out being as the same old energetic diva that we admire, I still had to remember Shane was coming out. One good question, though: does he also have a Mattitude Connection? 

I found that out soon enough. 

Search for:   
shane mcmahon 

Enter keyword:   
shane-o-mac 

10...30.....70.......100%. 

Shane-O-Facts: 

SHANE HAS   
THE   
EUROPEAN   
TITLE IN   
HIS ROOM. 

and 

SHANE WAS   
AMONG   
THE DX   
VARIATION   
"CORPORATION   
X". 

The Anthem goes on and here comes the Shane. The inverted baseball-striped Shane-O-Macs were black/silver and had the Raiders, while he wore the colors of the Raiders on his Shane-O-Mac shirt. Shane-O was ready to put on a little act. But not before getting cut off at the Bull's Horns, because Latino Heat goes on and Latino Heat comes out. Get it? Of course you don't. Well, outfits: Eddie in his reds, Chavo in his blues, Chyna in a black fit top with a pair of black long tights with her name on the far left leg area and the rank 9th on the far right leg side. 

Anyway, now that we've got outfits cleared, Matt decided to do a little act first, but Latino Heat was still discussing. In came Eddie to immediately attempt to fire things up. Soon as they got in the grapple, Eddie got behind Matt and held onto the ribs as if he were going for a german suplex, but then attacked with a few suplex-like takedowns before Matt could wiggle away, which he didn't: Eddie let him go after five. Matt now had a little trouble getting up. Anyway, Eddie dropped a few elbows onto Matt's chest fast, sprang up, then picked him up and fired a few elbows to the head: he had him bent down a little bit. With that, he carried on with four straight stronghold vertical suplexes. With that, he hooked the leg of Matt Hardy and got the cover. 1, 2, kickout. He now decided to go on with a little leg lock move that Malenko once used. It was sort of painful, but Matt got out of it really soon. He now started firing back with a few right hands. Then came the irishwhip and a clothesline. Chavo ran in. He got clotheslined. Chyna ran in and tried to punch Matt. Blocked, and he showed her how it's done. Eddie came back. Right hand. They were falling into a barrage of 'em until they decided to get out of the ring and surround Matt, leaving only his right for him to leave, and that would quickly be covered by Eddie. He tried to get down to Eddie quickly, but the Guerrero's speed and anticipation of that scheme turned out handy, and all three of them started a three point mugging while Shane and Lita were drastically trying to get in there to stop them. When they finally stopped and placed Matt back into the ring, Chyna and Chavo went to the apron, while Eddie got into the ring and attempted to pin Matt. He got a two count for his efforts. Wit that, he got up on his knees and started punching Matt Hardy to heck before Matt shoved his fist out of the way, shook him up a little bit and got up to hand him a few right hands. Matt then irishwhipped Eddie, who returned with a clothesline and a tag to Chavo, who leapt up and made a twisting slingshot knee drop onto Matt's chest, and that took long range. Got the cover, hooked the leg. 1, 2, kickout. With that, he got in a surfboard stretch to try to knock the spine and arms out of good condition, because those are the parts he needs to use to turn around for the Twist of Fate. If they are in high pain, the match will not be won by Matt's pinfall. However, with that being detailed by King, who was just pondering about the puppies of Chyna and Lita, at which I ignored as usual, that's when Matt twisted out of that hold and fired a Northern Lights suplex. With that, he picked Chavo up and set him up for the Twist of Fate, but Chavo backtossed him before he could get out of signal mode and execute the attack, which is something I was quite disappointed about, although I expected it, seeing so many wrestling matches. I just wanted Matt and co. to win so badly so we could celebrate all night. I bet I'm probably already being scolded out at home and getting "lost ads." I'm just having so much fun I can go ahead and say my brother found me at that laundromat and left me in the car with his cellphone and then took me to work. Anyway, completely off of that, I'd just like to brag all over the place about Matt and Execution. But I won't do it, especially not before my favorite team of the night wins. Anyway, right now, Chavo's got Matt on an irishwhip, and he's expecting to go for the spinebuster, but Matt shoots him in the jaw, gets right back on those ropes and runs to him for a clothesline. He then gives Shane the tag, and I'm thinking, Shane-O's on fire. Gets up to the top rope post, and here comes an elbow drop onto Chavo. It connects with a thud to the ring, and he hooks the leg for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. So now Shane gets up, fires an elbow onto Chavo and takes a little bit of a chance by tagging in Lita. She went up to the top rope and attempted a moonsault. Matt looked hoarsely at Shane, wondering what he was thinking. Lita connected on the move and tagged Matt in. He soon smirked, realizing what Shane was thinking, and then he set Chavo up for the world famous Twist of Fate. He got the move on and it connected. He then hooked Chavo's leg. 1, 2, Eddie double-axed Matt to the back, breaking that play up and attacking him fiercely with those stomps, even going as far as pushing Shane and Lita off the apron to make sure they didn't interrupt. Mike Chioda was beginning to scold him for it, and that's when Chyna came in and decided to embarrass Matt by picking him up, kissing him on the cheek quickly, and then attempting to go for the Jackknife Powerbomb. She had him picked up, but he turned it into a hurracanrana and got up before she could. He decided to attack Eddie, since Chyna was taking a break and Chavo was down and out. So he clotheslined him in a way which passed the referee. Chyna got up, they both clotheslined each other. In came the fact that they were both down and that Eddie got up and placed Chyna on top of Matt. He expected Chioda to count the 1, 2, 3, but the bottom line is, the legal soul for Latino Heat was Chavo, not Chyna. That pin wouldn't count. And Chioda got in Eddie's way so he couldn't get to Chavo and get him on top of Matt. Meantime, Shane was behind him, and he dropkicked him as Lita pulled the ref out of the way, then pulled Chyna off of Matt and rolled her to the outside. She then shot herself over the ropes for a splash onto that Ninth Wonder carcass of Chyna's. They were both right on the other side of the announce table from Cole and that gloating Lawler, but who really cares these days? Back on track. Chavo and Matt were getting the no contest count, and as they both got up, they soon were exchanging punches. Soon after that, Matt started blocking Chavo's right hands. Soon after that, Matt had the upper hand in this fist fight. With that in mind, he decided to dropkick Chavo and send Shane into the ring. This time, Shane actually got in and, in order to avoid the coming of cheap shots, irishwhipped Chavo towards Eddie and Chyna hard. But, unfortunately, that plan backfired, as Chavo stopped to tag Eddie in. Uncle Latino leapt over the ropes into the ring...I think he's feeling a little too froggy. Anyway, who cares? Not me, but now who's where? Shoot, let me just get back to business. They rush at each other. Shane clotheslines Eddie. Eddie gets back up. This continues for a bit until Chyna and Chavo decide to butt in. Shane was on a fire barrage, clotheslining any member of Latino Heat that dared step in the ring with him during that time, until, once again, the triple team mind games came into play. He decided to talk to Matt and Lita about something, which I think is a plan. So, all three of the come down outside the ring and attack Latino Heat counterparts. Shane gets Eddie, Lita gets Chyna, and Matt gets Chavo. Only Lita's match seems not to be too much of a match, as she's getting chopped away by the Ninth Wonder of the World. Chyna heart King talk about her Playboy cover, and she saw he had it in hand. She then decided to call him off the announce table. He thought she wanted to kiss him, but she kicked him in the midseciton, drove his face under her crotch and fired a Jackknife Powerbomb on him right through that table. To be careful, she shot Chyna with a steel chair the moment the table broke so as not to be heard by Chioda, who was attending to att the commotion. Meantime, Chavo was stomping away on Matt as he had irishwhipped him into the ramp wall portion of the guardrail. Also, Shane and Eddie had taken their battle into the ring. They were both punching the hell out of each other now. Meantime, Lita picked Chyna up, tired of stalking her, then kicked her in the midsection and fired the Twist of Fate on her. Meantime, Shane had Eddie irishwhipped and decided to fire a fast swinging neck breaker soon as Eddie came back. Chioda actually had a main focus point in all this insanity, as Shane got the cover on him. 1, 2, kickout by Eddie. Chavo picked up Matt on the outside, but apparently, that turned out erroneous, because Matt decided he'd bring Chavo over the guardrail to the stands. Bottom line is, Madden came over to replace Jerry the King at announce position, although they were standing due to no table. Shane was about to go up to the top rope...well, actually, he did, but he saw Matt get on the apron, and therefore decided to tag him in. With that, Shane fired the Twister moonsault onto Eddie. It connected. Matt came up with the Mattitude Tarzan Call and the leg drop from the top rope. It connected, and then up came Lita for a moonsault of her own from the opposite top rope, closer to Eddie and his corner. With Chyna and Chavo out of the way, she was comfortable about that. Anyway, she ducked out of the ring and watched to make sure Chyna didn't break in to interrupt what was coming next, let me quote Cole. 

"And Matt setting up Eddie Guerrero. Here it comes...Twist of Fate by Matt Hardy! Hook of the leg, he's got it. Yes!" 

Now to Chimel as Live for the Moment buzzes on. 

"Here are your winners, the new World Tag Team Champions, Matt Hardy and Shane McMahon, and the new World Women's Champion, Lita!" 

The crowd was in a major buzz as the H5 had finally done it! Matt and Shane were now the Tag Team Champions, Lita was the Women's Champion, and remembering something is not what you would like to note. The H5ers celebrated this victory in the ring together. Matt and Lita even had a kiss like the one in 2000 after Malenko! They got their hands raised, they all hugged and everything, yada yada yada, and I was just going insane at my hotel room! I couldn't wait until they got back! Suddenly, Charles Robinson comes out of the stands and tells Tony Chimel something. 

"Will the people in the media room please stop the music?" Chimel requested. That happened, the celebrations stopped, the peeps booed. But I was still goin' dude! "According to referee Charles Robinson, Shannon Moore and Jeff Hardy are headed out here at the moment. And, the stipulation of this match was that if Latino Heat lost this match, not only would these three titles be switching hands, but also, the World Cruiserweight Championship would be wielded. So, without further ado, please welcome the man who Loco Chavo will hand the World Cruiserweight Title to, the new World Cruiserweight Champion, Shannon Moore! 

So, now it's time for his entrance theme to come on. The ussual MF Vroom-A-Zoom shirt and red/black Speedsters are on Shannon right now. Don't forget he came with Jeff, who happens to be wearing a matching outfit as well: the Imagination shirt and the black/silver Matt Pants. They're both doing their own thing as they're coming out, but they don't lose track of each other or whose theme it is. Anyway, with that in mind, they both come out, and Chavo's getting up. Chioda's got the World Cruiserweight Title (Latino Heat brought all four belts to the ring), and as Matt, Shane and Lita pick up their titles from the ground, Chavo takes the Cruiserweight belt and hands it to Shannon, who accepts with a handshake. Instead of any H5 themes, on came Over the Edge, which was now used as the Red Brood's team theme: Time to Rock and Roll was back on Trish's book. Anyway, they all came out. Edge in the Edgehead shirt and street jeans, Christian in the old Edge shirt and a pair of black jeans, Trish in the Strtusfaction shirt/top and a pair of blue jeans of her own, and Jericho in the jacket of that rockstar suit and a pair of blue jeans of his own. That order was the line they came in. Remember this: most of the ramp was narrow for this Pay Per View. Anyway, they had a few cans of good old Miller Lite, and we soon found out from who because the Glass Shatters quickly and out came "Stone Cold" Steve Austin in the What shirt and blue cut jeans. Since the Red Brood only got eight, he carried two with them. Edge gave one of his to Matt, Christian gave one of his to Shane, Trish gave one of hers to Shannon, Jericho handed Lita one of his. Austin gave it to the only non-champion wrestler in the H5 now, Jeff Hardy. Anyway, that's when Marissa came, although she stopped at the top of the ramp, with a major smile and the DX-colored Live Wire shirt along with a good pair of black pants similar to Shane's ultimate pair. Guess what she had: another soda can of beer. When they toasted, she motioned towards them and drank along. Then came Vince's theme of No Chance. 

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything, so let me just get to the bottom line," Vince said. "We've still got two matches coming up tonight, so you guys might want to carry this party outside. Speaking of which, two people have something set up all over your locker room. 

The tron showed the H5 locker room with RVD and Kurt Angle. Their outfits: I ain't tellin', because they're unimportant, and I don't mean they're nothing. Perverts. 

"Hey, dudes, I see you won the match," Rob said. "Well, Kurt and I suspected that you'd win, and so we decided, with the help of Team Angle, of course, whom I might join tomorrow night, to decorate your room a little bit as a congratulatory gesture. Jeff, Shannon, where were you? We wanted you two to see this." 

"Hey, hey, forget about that right now, okay, Rob? We need to get serious here," Kurt cut him off. "Congratulations on winning these four World Titles. Even though one of them was a given because of the other three, sort of, we'd still like to hope that all of you have long championship reigns that last longer than the remainder of Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan's WWE careers. We'd continue talking and partying, but we've got Heavyweight title matches to prepare for. If I become World Champion, Jeff, I'll give you a shot tomorrow night. Anyway, good luck to all of you guys. We've gotta go and win, baby! Whoo!" With that, they walked off in smiles, and we got on break. 

Afterwards, let's go to the Angle-Undertaker match. Okay, so it's very simple. Angle picks apart the back of Taker's left leg to make things easier, then he gets in the Olympic Slam and covers Taker. 1, 2,3, your Olympic Hero is the World Heavyweight Champion.   
**Execution Royal entry standings:**   
Before the Bell...   
Entry 1: _Kevin Nash_   
Entry 2: _Mark Henry_   
Entry 3: _Chris Benoit_   
Entry 4: _Ken Shamrock_   
During the match...   
00:51, Elimination 1: Chris Benoit gets clocked out by a Thai Roundhouse kick from behind by Ken Shamrock. The attack also sent him flying over the ropes t the outside, therefore eliminating him.   
01:32, Elimination 2: Kevin Nash gets backtossed over the ropes by Ken Shamrock after Nash tried to clothesline Shamrock out.   
02:00, Entry 5: Brock Lesnar comes into the ring.   
04:00, Entry 6: Scott Hall comes into the ring.   
04:25, Elimination 3: Scott Hall received an F5 to the outside from Brock Lesnar.   
05:02, Elimination 4: Mark Henry gets clotheslined to the outside by Brock Lesnar.   
06:00, Entry 7: Hulk Hogan enters the ring and goes Hulkamania on Brock Lesnar.   
06:32, Elimination 5: Brock Lesnar gets irishwhipped, and Scott Hall pulled the ropes down so he fell over and out.   
07:21, Elimination 6: Hulk Hogan gets scoop slammed over the ropes into Brock Lesnar by Ken Shamrock.   
08:00, Entry 8: Scott Steiner enters the ring.   
09:52, Elimination 7: Ken Shamrock gets clotheslined out by Scott Steiner.   
10:00, Entry 9: Rob Van Dam and Randy Orton walk to the ring. RVD shows no strain, so Orton goes to the back.   
12:00, Entry 10: Hardcore Holly enters.   
12:51, Elimination 8: Scott Steiner is knocked out by a spinning wheel kick from Rob Van Dam.   
14:00, Entry 11: Chris Jericho enters the ring.   
16:00, Entry 12: Chuck Palumbo gets into the ring.   
17:52, Elimination 9: Hardcore Hollyis Jungle Kicked and thrown over by Chuck Palumbo.   
18:00, Entry 13: Steve Austin enters the Execution Royal.   
18:29, Elimination 10: Chris Jericho gets Stunned by Steve Austin, who keeps him up and press slams him over.   
20:00, Entry 14: Shawn Michaels makes his way to the ring.   
21:10, Elimination 11: Steve Austin gets hung on the ropes by Chuck Palumbo, who dodges Shawn Michaels' Sweet Chin Music. You know who gets hit and taken out.   
21:43, Elimination 12: Shawn Michaels gets taken up on the top rope post by Chuck Palumbo, who pushes him over into the stands.   
22:00, Entry 15: Albert comes in.   
22:52, Elimination 13: Rob Van Dam gets choked and thrown out by the two hands of Albert.   
24:00, Entry 16: Bubba Ray Dudley comes in.   
25:41, Elimination 14: Bubba Ray Dudley gets clotheslined out by Chuck Palumbo.   
25:43, Elimination 15: Chuck Palumbo gets clotheslined out from behind by Albert.   
26:00, Entry 17: The Rock enters the ring.   
28:00, Entry 18: Triple H gets into the ring and mocks The Rock.   
28:42, Elimination 16: Triple H is pushed over into the guardrail by The Rock.   
30:00, Entry 19: Kane enters the ring.   
30:45, Elimination 17: Kane receives a DDT, gets picked up, and is thrown out, courtesy of The Rock.   
32:00, Entry 20: Dave Batista rushes into the ring and ruthlessly attacks Albert and The Rock.   
36:43, Elimination 18: The Rock lands first in a double clothesline over the ropes to the outside by Dave Batista.   
36:43, Elimination 19: Albert lands second in that double clothesline.   
The new WWE Heavyweight Champion is Dave Batista. The nWo comes out to celebrate. 

10:36 PM: The door is opened, and here the H5 comes. 

"Whoo hoo!" Matt's still in a party move, and they have all the belts. 

"Hey, guys, I see you're back," I noticed and spoke. 

"So, did you see it?" Lita asked. 

"Oh, I sure did," I answered. "I'm so happy for you guys, I hope you keep those titles for a long time. And, as for you, Shannon, I think you need to prove yourself worthy of owning that Cruiserweight title, and I know a good opponent for you." 

"Spike Dudley," he cut me off. "What, did you think I forgot Vince just gave me a match against him in order to defend my title?" 

"Well, yeah, moron," I joked. 

"I resent that," he responded against that. "There's nothing that says 'Shannon Moore is a moron' anywhere around here, is there?" 

"Relax, man," I tried to get him to shun it off. "Can't you take a joke? It's time to celebrate those titles you guys have!" 

"Yeah, well, I'm afraid we'll be celebrating without you, because it's WWE checkout time. Just tell me where your place is, and I'll get you there." 

"Oh, man," I whined. "Can't we stay a bit longer?" 

"Actually, we got here twenty-four minutes early," Marissa said. 

"Oh, yeah!" I celebrated. 

Okay, so the party went on, for twelve minutes before Matt's ordered taxi cab showed up and drove me off home after I said goodbye to the H5. I used the work excuse, and fortunately, I didn't get beat up, and bro had decided to let me use it: I called him during the show. Anyway, let's get ready for _Chapter 38: Moore Honor, Please_. Actually, there is no Chapter 38! What am I talkin' about? This is the complete end! Anyway, whatever you forget about this tale, remember the only thing I told Matt to remember as I got out: "Mattitude is true attitude, and don't you forget it anytime soon!" 

What an era that's finally come to a third piece of glory. Let me get to all the pieces of historical glory. 

Backlash: Matt and Lita are the only boyfriend and girlfriend among the team that split the most numbers in WWE group history into two.   
Judgment Day: Matt and Lita broke up between the two Pay Per Views, then they got back together and, at Judgment Day, officially split the couple responsible for breaking them apart in a match.   
Execution: Latino Heat was a group with more Championship belts than teams. Matt, Shane and Lita liquidated that title number to zero. 

From now on, we don't know what will happen to me or to the H5. But I promise this: whatever happens, I'll still be the Mattitude Follower I've been for about nine months. What a night for me. Good night from Miami, Florida. This is the end of the H5 saga, as far as FFN is concerned. Goodbye. I'll be back with another story soon. In the meantime, I'm still a full blooded reviewer, stylist and profilist. This story is done, but my contract is not. Until you read from me again... 

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! 

Extra Scene the next day... 

I'm walking out, bragging to any friend of mine I see, bragging on about it, 'till I see Matt outside. 

"I see you're having yourself a little fun," Matt changed the story around for me. "I just decided to skip RAW and stay here a little bit. I asked Vince for it, and he told me I could. But, I've got something. You interested in a spoiler note, since you do know what that is, don't you?" 

"Yeah," I replied. "Go ahead and give it to me." 

"Rob tells me he's joining Team Angle tonight." 

"That's cool," I replied. 

Time over. I'm out of here. 


End file.
